[X] My Assistant

Sounds like a onomatopoeic word you'd find in a bad furry comic.

Do Wookies count as furries if nobody recognizes them as wookies?

Nope, they just count as family members.

Berry almond chicken salad? With a raspberry vinaigrette dressing? Goddamnit, Wendy's, why do you hate flavors so much?

This post has been edited by radixius: Jun 1 2011, 01:45

I don't know why I felt the need to install the webcam.

So you can show people videos of your penis?

I don't really see any other reason to own a webcam.

Nobody ever installs a webcam, you just happen to buy a computer that came with one. - Confucius

People who complain about random drop rates in online games don't deserve to get into heaven (if it exists).

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: kids people these days have an idiotic sense of entitlement, like they should just get stuff because they want it. It makes me wonder what their real life work ethic is like.

Usually the same.

I've been working at this school for over 6 months and I still have yet to find a Hallowed Sword of Providence +2 Sockets.

I did, however, find USB of Gifthood and Glass Cup of Wedding.

I just found something so old that I had forgotten about it. I was going to make a webcomic about it, but then I remembered that I can't draw, so it is just a .txt file with no future, but I feel it might work better as a sim-type world building game... But I have no experience with that coding shit.

I will now paste the file here:

CODE

1. Random dude is sent to a world

2. World is white, sky is white, giant blank space

3. Has to create all characteristics of the world

4. Landscape
    - Landscape is made by using a sticker pad/stamp
    - Effects are permanent, however, if he wishes to change something, he places another sticker over the top and it changes
        * original piece is erased completely, and is replaced with the new one

5. Environment
    - Wind is created by drawing the (nyur) symbol
    - Water is created by drawing the (duh) symbol
    - Fire is created by drawing the (lawl) symbol
    - Earth is a little different, there is a base symbol (lalala), the effects change upon the secondary symbol drawn inside
        * (bloo) makes grass
        * (blah) makes a fissure
        * (blee) makes a mountain
        * (bleh) makes plants grow

6. Stickers
    - Can stretch the stickers to various sizes
    - Fixed amount of stickers per month (650, about 21/22 per day) - §
    - 1500 first month for creation
    - Day/night scheme is pre-existant
    - Stars are pinpricked into the sky

7. Nolan Seth Broich
    - Goes by middle name
    - Resourceful to a point, if things get too hectic, he loses his place
    - Somewhat sentimental - §
    - Optimist
    -

8. Rhea Decorte


**Story Ideas**

- After things don't exactly work out Nolan starts to pine for his home, the reader sees a shadow that they don't exactly know who it is, but it turns out to be his girlfriend he was forced to leave behind.  To try and cure his homesickness, Seth tries to recreate Rhea.  It begins as he plans, and she is just as Seth remembers.  However, somewhere along the line her personality shifts completely.  He wants to leave Rhea, but her image makes it so hard for him to denounce her.

Intriguing. I'm not sure about the story, though. I would think the kind of players who would be drawn to a start-from-scratch world-builder like that wouldn't be that interested in some story about some character's past. They're more interested in their own creations than yours. I could be wrong, though.

It's something I came up with in an afternoon as a webcomic as previously mentioned. If I were to do anything with it now, I'd have to retool it like a bawss.

And yeah, coding is shit.

Edit:
Decided this could use its own thread in a more appropriate place.

This post has been edited by FourThirteen: Jun 1 2011, 08:13

So many text files! I forgot there was a time when I was actually funny.

The only person you need to be funny to is yourself. I crack jokes, my sisters and my mom are all /facepalm and ugh but I roll with it because I make myself laugh and that's what matters.

The only person you need to be funny to is yourself. I crack jokes, my sisters and my mom are all /facepalm and ugh but I roll with it because I make myself laugh and that's what matters.

Spoken like a true Scottish talk show host.

I found an unfinished script that goes along with this, this and this. Now I will paste the file here, complete with bonus commentary:

CODE

* getting some awful pop music and a Toxic Lime, they head back to the gay emo club
* the pop music makes the RETs cower
* one of the RETs claws at the duo, causing Lethal Soda to spill on him, making him so violently ill that he starts caring about life again; possible line, "Oh my--wow!  I d... I don't feel like cutting myself anymore!'

Radixius: so, we need to get out from this basement and to the fagclub, right?
Susky: Right
Radixius: we find the dad's keys
Radixius: and hijack his car
Susky: Haha! I love it
Radixius: like, he left them in a pocket
Radixius: be it pants or jacket
Radixius: that happen to be hanging somewhere odd in the room
Susky: Hanging from..
Susky: Okay, okay
Susky: Got it
Susky: You know that shelf above washer/dryers where detergent and things are kept?
Radixius: yeah
Susky: Pants up there
Radixius: so, right, we hijack the car
Susky: Yep
Radixius: then it switches to GTA
Radixius: like, GTA2
Susky: I haven't played GTA2, or 1
Radixius: topview
Radixius: GTA2 is a 45 degree shift, though
Radixius: so instead of streets being like -
Radixius: they're more /
Susky: Aha
Susky: Like, uh
Susky: Like Diablo
Radixius: kinda
Radixius: but, from the top
Susky: So all the intersections form Xs
Radixius: pretty much
Susky: Got it
Radixius: complete with hub and shit
Susky: Hub?
Susky: Oh, right
Susky: Life and money and shit
Radixius: yeah
Radixius: crash through the wall of gayclub
Susky: Run a bunch of kids over?
Susky: Or does it not change perspective, and just show us crashing into the wall?
Radixius: maybe make a cameo for The Doc
Susky: Haha, yes, the Doc
Radixius: crash through the wall, switch views to a side view of the front seats
Susky: Awesome
Radixius: with people swacking off the sides and rolling on the hood and shit
Susky: Should we be expressionless?
Radixius: no
Radixius: quite the opposite
Radixius: we should be freaked out
Radixius: because we crashed through a wall and it was awesome
Susky: Hahahaha, alright
Susky: But hitting all those people will slow us to a stop
Radixius: in front of the DJ stand so we can play the crappy music
Radixius: or in the middle of the room
Radixius: so you can tear the fender off and swat bitches with it
Susky: Hahaha!
Susky: So the car will be our ultimate weapon
Radixius: true
Radixius: but at the end you fail the strength check
Radixius: and squash RETs
Radixius: I climb on the car and start the bad music, they cower
Radixius: we get pissed
Radixius: Deadly Soda throwing
Susky: Got it
Susky: Wait
Susky: So it'll be like that one South Park with the hippiefest?
Radixius: kinda
Radixius: and then we grin at each other and fade out
Susky: Awesome
Radixius: we have to drag this whole thing out another episode and a half
Susky: That can be done, though, there's a lot of RETs to kill
Susky: We should figure out how many, so we can keep track, and make others try and fail at keeping track
Susky: Our own Crazy 88
Radixius: Retarded 42
Susky: That's a bit small, but it depends on how big the club itself i
Susky: s
Radixius: just an example
Susky: Aha
Susky: I got it!
Susky: Well, sort of
Radixius: gogogogogogo
Susky: Yeah, got it
Susky: Retarded 15d6
Radixius: heh
Radixius: go for it
Radixius: and I came from her soft touch and slept
Susky: Good song
Radixius: no shit, no shit
Radixius: [url=http://minusthebear.com/go.php?g=QQgsIez2]http://minusthebear.com/go.php?g=QQgsIez2[/url]
Radixius: I love the first blog title
Susky: 52 in total, but I think 15d6 would still be more fun to have listed
Susky: It's anything between 15 and 90
[Jerks & Assholes, a satire of Law & Order, in our clever fashion.]

Booming Voice: "In the world of BASTARD, the people are pestered by two separate, yet equally-important retards.  Embol, who pisses in their soda, and Susky, who punches them in the kidneys.  This is their story."

*CHUNG CHUNG* [Text: Last Thursday, at least 100 years ago.  Basement.]

[Fade in with Embol and Susky in the basement. Dim lighting, "Comanche" playing in the background.]

Embol: "Shit sandwiches. Look what you got us into."

Susky: "Me?! You guys took my clothes off!"

Embol: "You shouldn't have been naked underneath them, then!"

Susky: "That's not even the problem here!"

Embol: "What is, then?"

Susky: "We got thrashed on the head, and now we're locked in somebody's basement. We should find our stuff--"

Embol: "Your stuff. I have all my stuff."

Susky: "How do you know?"

Embol: "I can feel it." [Emphasis on 'feel'.]

Susky: "Fine. We should find my stuff, and--"

Embol: "It's in the dryer."

Susky: "What the fuck, can't I finish a th--"

Embol: "Thought?"

[Embol scopes out the room a little]

Embol: "Hey, look, there's that dryer."

[There's a pause after Embol points out the dryer, which is within arm's reach of both of them.]

Susky: "Well?"

Embol: "Well what?"

Susky: "Get my stuff."

Embol: "No way, you do it."

Susky: "You took my clothes off."

Embol: "I didn't think you were gonna bitch so much. [In a childish voice] Can't widdle Susky dwess himself?"

Susky: "That's it! It is on!"

Embol: "Bring it, Buttbeaver!"

[Battle scene transition.  A sissy slapfight commences while the boys call each other unheard of insults, like cockream, cunnifungus, slutbiscuit and fagomatic.  Susky gets knocked against the dryer and magically becomes reclothed and has his equipment.]

Embol: "Is your sword still in your pocket?"

Susky: "Let me check." [Susky reaches into his pocket, shouts in pain, and pulls his sword out. It's glowing red.] "Son of a fucking bitch, ow!"

Embol: "Does it look sorta... y'know, different to you?"

Susky: "What? I couldn't hear you over the burning pain."

Embol: [louder] "Does it look sort of different to you?"

[A disembodied voice rings out from the sword. Camera pans to the sword, and wisps of fog float past only while the camera is on the sword.] Sword: " 'Ello 'ello, wot's ol 'is 'hen?!"

Susky: "What the fuck? It talked!"

Embol: "You heard that too?"

[Camera pans to the sword again, shaking just a little as more wisps of dark colors float by.] Sword: "Oi, mates! 'Ring me 'round a point an' I'll shae wif you the secrets of da yu-niverse!" [There's a pause, then the sword's voice grows deep and it speaks backwards.] "If'n you've got da cash, Oi've got da toime!"

Susky: [Doubles over for no reason and vomits a rainbow of pure colors.] "HUWAAAAAAAAGH!"

EDIT: I should remember which fucking tags I use. Goddamn, son.

This post has been edited by radixius: Jun 1 2011, 08:30

I just found something so old that I had forgotten about it. I was going to make a webcomic about it, but then I remembered that I can't draw, so it is just a .txt file with no future, but I feel it might work better as a sim-type world building game... But I have no experience with that coding shit.

I will now paste the file here:

CODE

1. Random dude is sent to a world

2. World is white, sky is white, giant blank space

3. Has to create all characteristics of the world

4. Landscape
    - Landscape is made by using a sticker pad/stamp
    - Effects are permanent, however, if he wishes to change something, he places another sticker over the top and it changes
        * original piece is erased completely, and is replaced with the new one

5. Environment
    - Wind is created by drawing the (nyur) symbol
    - Water is created by drawing the (duh) symbol
    - Fire is created by drawing the (lawl) symbol
    - Earth is a little different, there is a base symbol (lalala), the effects change upon the secondary symbol drawn inside
        * (bloo) makes grass
        * (blah) makes a fissure
        * (blee) makes a mountain
        * (bleh) makes plants grow

6. Stickers
    - Can stretch the stickers to various sizes
    - Fixed amount of stickers per month (650, about 21/22 per day) - §
    - 1500 first month for creation
    - Day/night scheme is pre-existant
    - Stars are pinpricked into the sky

7. Nolan Seth Broich
    - Goes by middle name
    - Resourceful to a point, if things get too hectic, he loses his place
    - Somewhat sentimental - §
    - Optimist
    -

8. Rhea Decorte
**Story Ideas**

- After things don't exactly work out Nolan starts to pine for his home, the reader sees a shadow that they don't exactly know who it is, but it turns out to be his girlfriend he was forced to leave behind.  To try and cure his homesickness, Seth tries to recreate Rhea.  It begins as he plans, and she is just as Seth remembers.  However, somewhere along the line her personality shifts completely.  He wants to leave Rhea, but her image makes it so hard for him to denounce her.

Don Hertzfeldt this shit, jigga. Everybody knows webcomic artists can't draw worth a shit and make up for it by at least trying to be funny.