[X] My Assistant

This is for the first episode of The Blue Stub's flash movie series... thing... BASTARD (yes, it is an acronym, no, I won't tell you what it means)

So far, we have three done, and are trying to think up something to go with number four, but it's not working.

So, without further ado...
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Eentro? We don' need no steenkeen eentro!

(Interior: A barren room, a couch sits in the middle of aforementioned room... two young brown haired men sit on priorly mentioned couch, there's a faint light coming from the TV)

*clicking SFX*

Susky (Between clicks):God.. dammit... there's... nothing... ON!

Embol: Hey, hey, hey, calm yourself. We just settled in here, you've been clickin' through the same 3 channels for the past hour.

Susky: You know, we should make our own show.

Embol: Yeah, like... we get 8 women each and, like. . .

Susky: Dude, are you still going on about that? Just because you can't get any doesn't mean we have to make people suffer through your vain attempts at trying to get it.

Embol: Actually, I was just saying that to get the audience's hopes up.

*laugh track*

[text at the top of the screen]:We're not doing the painfully predictable 'Fourth Wall' thing. 3x

(5 second wait time)

Embol: I'm going to get myself some Green Tea, you want anything?

Susky: Yeah, could you get me a cup of coffee?

Embol: No way, man! I'm not touching that, it might screw with my ulcer, all that caffiene.

Susky: Well, I'm not drinking that pee you call a beverage.

*laugh track*

Embol: Fine, whatever.

(Another wait)

Susky: Woah, back up there... What was that sound before?

Embol: Are you hearing things again, Susky?

*laugh track*

Susky: There it is again!

Embol: I heard it this time. People are laughing at us, how is that different from normal?

Susky: If you hadn't noticed, we're the only two people in the house right now.

Embol: Now that you mention it, that is quite strange...

Susky: Dude, it's creeping me out in here. I'm going outside!

(Anime background a la speed lines)

Embol: STOOOOOOOOOP!

(Normal Background)

Embol: You can't go outside, you'll burst into flames!

Susky: That's rediculous! It's impossible for humans to spontaneously combust. We don't have the chemicals in our bodies to make us flammible.

Embol: Don't you know that they've done stuides? Gamers are just like albinos that way.

Susky: Like that dude from "Powder"?

Embol: Sure, except you don't get the sweet lightning manipulation.

Susky: Ah...

Embol: So..?

Susky: I'm goin' out...

Embol: Alright, I tried to warn you.

(Susky steps outside, nothing happens)

Susky: See? You were dreaming, nothing hap-...

(BURST INTO FLAMES! Susky's screaming is heard very prominently. Embol is calling him a flaming homosexual in so many uses of the term.)

*laugh track*

(rewind to):

Embol: You can't go outside, you'll bust into flames!

Susky: That's rediculous! It's impossible for humans to spontaneously combust. We don't have the chemicals in our bodies to make us flammible.

Embol: Don't you know that they've done stuides? Gamers are the D20Modern version of vampires...

Susky: But we can eat nice Italian cuisine.

Embol: Yeah, we have immunity to garlic because we took the bonus feat.

Susky: Ah...

Embol: So..?

Susky: I'm goin' out...

Embol: Alright, I tried to warn you.

(Susky steps outside, nothing happens)

Susky: See? You were dreaming, nothing hap-...

(BURST INTO FLAMES! Susky's screaming is heard very prominently. Embol is calling him a flaming homosexual in so many uses of the term.)

[halfway through, enter some strange bizzaro battle sequence]

Susky: What the f-... wasn't I just on fire?

[text on the top]: Slime appears!

Embol: We've got to do something about this pest problem!

*laugh track*

Susky: Who knew there were slimes in our front lawn?

Embol: I told you to mow the damn thing last month!

Susky: Yeah, well, something important came up!

[Embol's time meter fills up]

Embol: That's not the point!

Susky: ...

Embol: Hello..?

Susky: ...

Embol: ...

Susky (quietly, out the side of his mouth): I can't do anything until you've taken your turn. You put it on a goddamn WAIT ATB, you daffy bastard.

Embol: I see...

(Embol runs up to the slime, brandishes his sporks and shouts...)

Embol: SPORK ATTACK!

(... Knocking 6 damage out of the slime.)

Susky: That SUCKED!

Embol: Yeah, well, you try being a thief!

Susky: I thought you hated thiefs!

Embol: Yeah, but I raised my DEX stat by playing way too much DDR...

Susky: (scoff) You're a frikkin faggot, dude.

[Susky's time meter fills up]

Susky: This is how it's done!

(rushing up to the slime, lets loose a...)

Susky: HA!

(Susky misses, and gets a shocked expression in his face as the slime counterattacks dealing 4 HP of damage to him) D'OH!

*Embol stifles his laughter*

Susky: It's not that funny! (wipes the side of his mouth.)

(Slime comes to attack Embol, who evades and throws a spork in-between the Slime's eyes.)

Embol(mockingly): And that's how it's done... (normally) Heh, jackass...

(Susky, growing angry, slashes him, causing him to bleed profusely. Gushing blood, as the NG users will appreciate.)

Susky: Uh... whoops...

*laugh track*

(FAYD OWT? Sure...)

Ten minutes later...

(Fade in)

Ashley: Woah, Pete, what happened here?

Susky: Uh, well, I mean... He started it...

Ashley: I see. (short pause) Need some healing magic?

Susky: If you want to expend the energy to heal this ingrate.

(Ooh, sparkley effects! n_n)

Embol: (coughing)... WHAT THE HELL (cough) IS YOUR FRIKKIN PROBLEM?!?!

*This time, it's Susky stifling laughters while saying*

Susky: Sorry dude... (snicker... s)

(Cut to: Living room interior)

*Furious clicking*

Embol: You probably gave me a scar, thanks a lot dude. Like I didn't have enough problems, now I have a disfiguring grotesquery!

Susky (monotonically, still channel surfing through the three channels they get): Chicks *click* dig *click* scars. *click*

Ashley: No... no we don't...
Embol: No... no they don't...

Embol: I'm going to get my green tea, now... You can get your own crap...

(Camera pans to the kitchen with Embol. Picking up a steaming cup of green tea, he takes a swig.)

Embol: Thank (deity) that didn't come out of the gaping chasm in my chest.

[text at the top of the screen scolls by]:We're not doing the ostensibly obvious "Liquid through holes" bit. x3

(Pan back to the livin' room)

Ashley: So, is this all you do? Sit on the couch and flip through the three basic cable channels?

Susky: Basically.

Ashley: Peter (drag out the 'r'), I'm BORED! Let's do something.

Susky: Nothin to do.

Ashley: I healed your friend, the least you could do is go out somewhere with me.

Susky: Allllllright... I suppose.

Ashley: Goodie! (Or if she feels retarded saying "Goodie!" something else along those lines'll do.)

(They get up and exit the house. The window reveals Susky on fire*, running like a bat outta hell, Embol peeks around the corner.)

Embol: 'Ello? Suskers, where you at?

(Fayd owt.)

To be discontinued..?

(Then some stupid credits.)

*Easter Egg
Gentry: I just found out that NBA Street V3 is going to have Nintendo characters in the GCN version. At least, that's what their videos and whatnot lead one to believe.

Clown: Don't go outside, you'll be raped by a clown!

(The clown chases after Gentry, because they're both gay. Benny Hill music plays.)
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The * denotes the easter egg, which is going to have a recurring joke throughout the series, each season will probably have a different one.

Some of these lines need to be changed for the final product, mostly Ash's, so it's rough as hell right now.

Have at it, ye scallywags.

BASTARD Trivia:
- The name wasn't conceived until during the writing of episode 3.

- The original name was supposed to be "BSTV", but nobody knows why this name was scrapped.

- Of the first three episodes, the first took the longest to write.

- The original cast was for four people, yet only two have more than six lines per episode.

- The rewind segment in episode 1 is the second-funniest scene out of the first three episodes.

- Balthy suffered a tragic accident at age 3 that mixed his DNA with a box of Whoppers.

- Susky is 190 years old and fought in the American Civil War, though will never discuss which side he was on.
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I really enjoyed working on the first one, it makes a really good pilot. Despite there actually being a sort of plotline, there's a lot of humor to be found. What we really need to do is finish the scripts, voice action, and one of the two following options:
1) Radi needs more free time to animate these, or
2) Susky needs to learn Flash.
It'll happen sooner or later.

The rewind scene will be amazing. I really don't think it will be topable, of course I've nothing against being proven wrong either.

Suskers, what episode would you say the best scene is in so far?

Episode 2, although I dare not mention what the occurence is, lest we spoil everything for everyone that reads this.

Dudes, not bad. Even though its just text, I lafft. I created a craptastic animated gif for my 1000th post(Ascendance; dreadful wasn't it?) You could do something like that to make something like a storyboard. Its an idea anyway.

Ascendance? I don't think I was here when that happened.

Lets see, you joined the 15th of may... I released Ascendance on the 27th. 12 days after you joined. Yeah, its unlikely you've seen it. Check it out: Ascendance then get back to me.

You're a silly bitch.

Plan on doing something like that for 2,500?

Possibly, although I had hoped to learn a bit of flash. I have other surprises I've been whispering about but I haven't made up my mind nearly yet, and I only have some 70 posts left.

Air on the other hand is a shameless post whore, and doesn't stop to congratulate himself (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/sad.gif).

Congradulations are for weddings, elections and sex. Not post counts. That little number over there really is just a number.

And I'm waiting for this better scene. Maybe I'm just imagining the scene with the burning a bit to vividly, but it could be awesome.

He reminded me of what it was, and it'll be posted in a couple days. And it is better, like... way better.

BASTARD: Episode 2, The Scriptining

(11.16.2006)

I love to be so fucking dramatic. Speaking of, T-D, you should learn some rudimentary Flash real quick and just do another stick figure surprise. It wouldn't take much know-how to do what you did in that GIF, and it'd be easier to manage. I do know a little Flash as it stands, just not enough to do what this script calls for. Enough to make my own stick figure surprise, though? For sure.

This post has been edited by suskun: Nov 13 2006, 21:18

Congradulations are for weddings, elections and sex. Not post counts. That little number over there really is just a number.

Funny you mention elections, them being won by numbers alone. Its not the number I celebrate, its accomplishment and post-consistency, and a new rank primarily. I don't have a custom one because I actually like the ones pre-set. That... and I haven't been creative enough. Eh... I hope this little sub-argument if you can call it that won't destory the topic too much... reap what you sow, I guess. >_>

Anyway dudes, I remember their being tutorials on flash at newgrounds, and many other miscallaneous websites as well. So learning shouldn't be hard, the hard part is creativity.

I wouldn't trust tutorials to save my life. Just mess with it a little bit, and eventually you'll figure stuff out.

Some tutorials are pretty good. The Newgrounds ones probably aren't so bad, but it depends on who made the tutorials. If their usual Flash movies are of quality programming, then go for it.

I dunno, about the only person I'd trust to tell me how to animate would be [newgrounds.com] this guy, maybe [www.xombified.com] this guy...

YES... i was in that... before i changed my ava.. (ascendance)

and... i wanna see this thing soon too...

This post has been edited by Alpine: Nov 16 2006, 04:53

All I can say is "lmao"

At our script or at Ascendance.

Cause they're about the same hilarity... well...

Ascendance is much better...