[X] My Assistant

Can't tell if everyone is playing stupid.


Or blind.

I found my ideal house years ago. I just didn't realize it.

It was my pillow fort all this time you see.

The moral is that our dreams are inside all of us.

I have nothing but hate inside me. It killed all my hope and dreams.

Rob is so cool. <3

And everybody's deaf too.

Bad Noah, this is a written medium. If they are blind they cannot understand your words.

I'll take this chance of being alone in here to start a soliloquy. Hello. I am Noah. How are you? Fine thank you. Did you know that the Mars Rover landed in Mars? Holy crap, really? Humanity has really gone far. I recall when I was a lad I wanted to build a rocket ship. Me and my pal would make it to run away from Earth when the sun exploded. Those were good times. Not the exploding of the sun, but otherwise, awesome. I remember we used to talk about that while eating wafers at recess. I miss wafers. They tasted of childhood and freedom and cardboard.

This post has been edited by noahbody: Aug 7 2012, 02:38

I can hear the voices in my mind just fine, noah.

Who's Noah? I am Farnellion Jungleworth III née Poopsmith.

Oh good I thought you were making a horrible Futurama reference but you were just making a harmless random statement.

What's Futurama? Is it some form of newfangled edible product?

It's like Radiorama except with less radio.

What in carnation is "radio"? Hah, you kids and your newfangled technology...

NON-EDIT: GET OFF MY LAWN!

EDIT: GET OFF MY LAWN!

This post has been edited by noahbody: Aug 7 2012, 03:27

Old man you best be learning to use that edit properly cause I ain't taking no sass from a technofool.

/wags fingers in a sassy manner while shaking head full of sassy hair in an equally sassy manner

Nuh-uh! I won't stand for it, gurl, you know how it be.

I am not in touch with your wacky new lingo, sir. Does it imply we achieved enter chorus?

I AM SNOOP LION.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRASTA.

Your neologisms both scare and confuse me. They remind me of Vietnam. And how I wasn't there. OH JOHNNY WHY!



NON-EDIT: Johnny died from a paper-cut from an Atlas. He was turning the page about Vietnam.

Speaking of Mars, remember when we landed on the moon?

Hey look. It's a picture of me and my lovely lab assistant Caroline, back when I was only 103.

Chariots, Chariots.

p.s.: Why is my pocket filled with chewed steak?

Chariots?

More like CHEERIOS.

Ah, Cheery-Oats. My war buddies and I used to have those all the time in the great war. Where we were warred.

Did you know that war and peace used to be called "War, what is it good for"? Some gentleman later stole the idea. The nerve on that man.

It is with my utmost regret to inform you that I was that gentleman. For you see, I am the Gentleman Thief Norbert. I wanted to be a chiropractor, you see, but my parents named me Norbert and with a name that ugly I had no choice but to spruce myself up by giving myself the occupation of Gentleman Thief.

Well, Norbert, son of Melissa. Little do you know, but I was your assistant! That is correct, I am Melvin the Hairy. And under your very nose I have taken your precious secret, and given to my transvestite dog, Jordana.

What you have, dear Norbert, is a fake, a forgery. I truly control the secret of war and peace.