[X] My Assistant

He stared at the ground, his eyes firmly affixed upon the slippery piece of wax that had fled his fingers with a desperation so intense you could have sworn that it was alive.

Once large and mighty, time (and water) had reduced this former emperor to a sliver of its former self, a pathetic and fragile thing that had little left to live, and even less to live for. Existence itself was torment for it, and it yearned for the day when death would come and deliver a sweet release. Yet, before that could happen, it still had one last thing to do.

He sighed, and bent down to pick it up. His fingers surrounded it on all sides, forming an impenetrable wall that allowed no escape, no refuge from the horrors that awaited it. They closed down like a five-jawed maw, determined to catch their prey.

But this was no normal prey.

As soon as the fingers came into contact, it used sped away with frightening determination, heading towards the originator, the base of commands that housed the fingers. Slipping under his grasp, it smashed into his foot, causing him to take a step backwards without losing momentum.

He gasped in shock, but it was too late. By the time his foot came back down, it was under him. Time froze as he tried to maintain balance, but its slick flesh would not allow any reprieve.

It flew up in the air, but the same could not be said of him. He stumbled, trying in vain to grab onto something to slow his descent. Alas, it had seen to that beforehand, and he fell, smashing the back of his head against the back of the wall as he did.

The last thing he saw before he bled out was the piece of soap hurtling towards his face.

5/5 Would read again.

Beryl uses a system that ends with 10.

10/10 > 5/5 so the only way you can top Beryl is by giving me like 20/20.

<3

Using a larger number means a finer level of granularity. That is unnecessary for something like this. All it needs is a max score.

0 = Substandard
1 = Good
2 = Better
3 = Excellent
4 = Best
5 = OH MY GOD ALL TWENTY OF MY DICKS ARE CUMMING EVERYWHERE

I think I need more sexual innuendo in my posts. I haven't been using too much of it.

If you don't use it, it atrophies.

That's horrible. I don't want my writing to be limp and soft and early to the climax. I want it to be hard-hitting and thick with meaning, ready to unload a gushing torrent of meaning upon my readers, showering all over them.

A good, hot word-dicking. Right in the eye-vaginas.

:3

A good, hot word-dicking. Right in the eye-vaginas.

I would have shortened it to eyegina, but I'm not smart like *mal.

'mal is a learned feller. He went to one of 'em fancy collergees and got hisself a fancy degrees.

A good, hot word-dicking. Right in the eye-vaginas.

Trantastic.

Blargh, are Korean girls sexy?

Hey Rad, I just realized the 4 year anniversary of our fight where I was an inconsiderate douche is in two weeks. Cake?

Also, <3.


p.s.: Sorry again for my utter retardation of then.

Hey Rad, I just realized the 4 year anniversary of our fight where I was an inconsiderate douche is in two weeks. Cake?

Also, <3.
p.s.: Sorry again for my utter retardation of then.

I'm always retarded, so you don't have to apologize. I could have just ignored you, but then we wouldn't be occasional bros.

Good to hear, sir. You're a swell bloke, and please don't change.

Anniversaries!

Birthday contracts! Contracts for all!

:3

Blargh you need to answer my query that is what this thread is for after all.

This is not "Ask Blorg Questions" thread it is "Chilling with Blorg" thread but sure why not I guess asking questions can be filed under chilling with.

A: I dunno really. Don't see many people my age. I guess you could say celebrities and whatnot are 'sexy' but then again they're celebrities not common folk likes you and me.

A: I dunno really. Don't see many people my age. I guess you could say celebrities and whatnot are 'sexy' but then again they're celebrities not common folk likes you and me.

Celebrititties are not sexy :<