[X] My Assistant

I call them PROTS.

Blorg declared new honey badger

I am now 99% certain the graphic designer who used to sit at the desk diagonal from me is a sausage stuffer. At first I thought he was just metro, but he's a little too fabulous. Then all the little things started adding up. Like he's BFFs with the other graphic designer who sat across from me. She's super cute (coincidentally, she's been chatting it up with me a lot) and less feminine than he is. His computer wallpaper is some artsy photo of Angelina Jolie. He was listening to some new teenybopper boy band, I think they were called One Direction or something?

That concludes today's story.

Bone him.

I am the bone of my sword?

There's this dude in a class next to mine who shapes his hair, talks like "a fag", wears really short shorts in sports class, and dressed like a model european, is BFF with all the snobs, but still dates women.

There's this dude in a class next to mine who shapes his hair, talks like "a fag", wears really short shorts in sports class, and dressed like a model european, is BFF with all the snobs, but still dates women.

Wait for a moment where he bends over and rub it up his ass, har har har. If he says no don't listen to him, it's not rape because he asked for it!

This post has been edited by ESeion: Nov 9 2012, 18:10

I am the bone of my sword?

You are the boner of your 'sword'.

You are the boner of your 'sword'.

Dongs is my body, and semen is my blood.

I have created over a thousand inappropriate innuendo riddled responses.

Seriously get a new avatar and signature or something.

Too lazy.

Make me one and I'll change it.

I made this for the lulz the other day, use it if you want it.

Too lazy.

Make me one and I'll change it.

Is that a challenge? :3

Because, you know, I suck shit at making them.

Too lazy.

Make me one and I'll change it.

Challenge accepted! Anything in particular you'd like?

Something with a nice bushy beard.
Damn.

It just HAS TO be bearded! Otherwise it simply won't jive with the aetheral vibrations...

DO YOU HEAR ME?
BEEEEEEAAAAAAAAARRRRRRDDDDDSSSSS!

That reminds me, its about time I changed my avatar again. But I don't have my Derpy folder on my laptop. Or my good mouse.

Then stop using a pony/

If not pony, then what? THEN WHAT, BLORG?!










Blorg-kun, denwhat.

I believe men are supposed to grow beards in November in order to raise awareness for this important "Movember" cause. I'm not sure how that's supposed to work. I tried growing my beard out longer before, and I never became suddenly aware of new things.

Edit:
Alright, I guess the theory is people might ask you why you grew a beard, and then you can tell them it's for a cause. Or you could just tell people you talk to about the cause and skip the pointless extra step of growing a beard.

Edit 2:
I was wrong, it was mustaches. So apparently if I grew a beard and then told people about men's health issues, I wasn't doing my job correctly.
...God, people with good intentions can be really fucking stupid sometimes.

This post has been edited by FourThirteen: Nov 11 2012, 00:16

If not pony, then what? THEN WHAT, BLORG?!
Blorg-kun, denwhat.

I was naive.

I thought it was impossible for one man to do it all. That it was to be a group effort, reminiscent of how a team is required to take down the Final Boss. Even humans had their limits, or so I believed.

Perhaps I was bitter. Jealous. Angry. Because I myself could not do it, I instinctively told myself that nobody else could have done it alone. I should have known. The very moment I thought that, I had lost. Because a man's limits are set upon him by none other than himself. Determination and willpower drive us on. If we have limits, it is only because we tell ourselves that we do.

The sky's the limit, or so the saying goes. Does it signify the unlimited potential for mankind, to the point where even the azure canvas above is in our reach?

No.

Why must the sky be the limit? I once believed that if I could reach the sky, I could reach the peak. But that was wrong. That was why I could never reach the sky. Because I had set it as my limit. How can man ever reach his goal? Thus, the law of Xeno's Paradox holds us back. I never liked that bastard.

Because I could not see anything but the sky above, I was blind to what lay beyond. The vast infinite space, adorned with stars, was never mine to take. A man who strives for silver is not worthy to take the gold. Thus, before I even began, I was already finished.

Truth is cruel. It brings with it despair and fatigue. The realization of my limits crushed all hope.

Then I met a young man. He smiled, and spoke to me.

"Blorg-kun, denwhat."

He opened my eyes. Then, and only then, could I truly see. The puns had always been there, waiting for me. It was me who had abandoned them. He made me realize that one single man could achieve a level so high by himself, a level far beyond what I could have even comprehended.

I stand up, and begin moving forward.

The path to humor is long and hard. But I will never despair again.

For when times are at their darkest, a single phrase is uttered.

"Blorg-kun, denwhat."