As a heads up, I didn't read the original, so I might misunderstand some of the context.
QUOTE(Erelzen @ Oct 30 2018, 08:06)
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For this gallery :https://e-hentai.org/g/757475/bbdd93b6df/
I posted here before getting some help reading handwriting on this gallery and now I'm mostly done with this translation, I just have a couple lines that I'm really struggling with. I'll post what I have written down. I'd like a second opinion.
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Page 3
Panel 4
でもあたいこんな事してていいのかな...
But, I wonder if it's okay to do this...
お空がいるのに...
Even though there's Utsuho...(お空 is a name here I think)
First line looks fine.
お+空 does seem like a name, but is it supposed to be Utsuho? I've never seen it read like that...
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Page 4
Panel 2
誰にもばらさないし悟らせたりしない。
We won't let anyone know, not even Satori. (悟 is a name here I think)
悟らせたり isn't a name, it's the causative (I think that's what it's called) + たり form of the verb 悟る [to understand/realize].
"No one will find out, and I won't tell anyone."
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Page 16
どうだ?きもちいいか?
H-how is it? D-do you feel good?
あれあれ、ロのききかたがおかしいですね...(口?)
Hmm? You're speaking really strangely...
っ...あんまり調子に...
Ahh... It's too much, I'm going crazy... (Placeholder, because it seems dependent on the previous line)
いいんですかそんな事いって....
Are you going to be okay? Saying such a thing...
う…
Ah...
For that first line, is there a reason for the stuttering? The original sounds like it should be confident.
Yeah, that's 口の利き方.
っ...あんまり調子に [乗らないで] is probably "Gh... Don't get cocky..." or something similar.
Which would make the following line something like "You really want to speak [to me] like that?". Sounds like he's taunting her.