[X] My Assistant

Need translations for these; I can provide the full images if you guys need context or whatever. It's probably just, ''ah'' and the like, but I don't wanna risk mistranslating anything.

1: あひっ♡
Ahi-♡

2: ごぽぽっ♡
Gopopo-♡

3: ん。。。
Hn...

4: んあ。。。
Nyah...

5: ごぽぽっ♡
Gopopo-♡

I'd say they look like moans to me (well 1, 3 and 4 do). But I've no idea what the "gopopo" part is. I'm guessing it's a character's name? Or are they underwater and it's water bubbling up?

Looks to me more like the rare case of a sound effect in a speech bubble that so often pops up in h-manga.

1: あひっ♡
Ahi-♡

2: ごぽぽっ♡
Gopopo-♡

3: ん。。。
Hn...

4: んあ。。。
Nyah...

5: ごぽぽっ♡
Gopopo-♡

I'd say they look like moans to me (well 1, 3 and 4 do). But I've no idea what the "gopopo" part is. I'm guessing it's a character's name? Or are they underwater and it's water bubbling up?

I dunno, you tell me:

(IMG:[s31.postimg.org] https://s31.postimg.org/aw8mes71n/Scan_18.png)

like I said, they're all mostly moans and SFX. Gopopo sounds goofy as hell though, what's the english equivalent? Like, 'splurge' or something?

and thanks for the help, these 5 bubbles were the only things stopping me from uploading 40 pages. I mean, I've got like 14 more to go but yeah.

like I said, they're all mostly moans and SFX. Gopopo sounds goofy as hell though, what's the english equivalent? Like, 'splurge' or something?

and thanks for the help, these 5 bubbles were the only things stopping me from uploading 40 pages. I mean, I've got like 14 more to go but yeah.

I think Mogugu might be on the money and it's a sound effect in a speech bubble.

Saying that, the only "gopopo" I know is the sound of like bubbles breaking the surface or filling a vessel up with liquid. So I suppose it could be the sound of her pussy getting filled with heaps of cum.

I guess "glug glug glug" would be the closest English equivalent if that's the case.

The other sound effects around it are ones commonly associated with ejaculation, so yeah.

Can someone give my script a look-over? It's the first story to the doujin "Milky Pocket" EX: /g/947770/c25080f65c/

Places where I had absolutely no clue and was basically guessing are prefaced with "????"

Thanks for the help!

CODE

002.jpg
Thank you for your work today too Hero.
Please come this way.
fufu... ♥
It's service time ♥ Please feel free to use Seria's [my] body to pleasure yourself...♥
... ♥
Nn...
What a strong smell... ♥

003.jpg
Hero...?
fufu ♥
You're going for the main course straightaway today ♥
... ♥
Nn... Aa Ahh ♥ ♥
Hero's... ♥
went in...
in one stroke... ♥ ♥ fuwah ♥
Aah... ♥

004.jpg
Ah ♥
hya ♥ fua... ♥
nn ♥ mm ♥
nnmm ♥
Hero's dick ♥
is hitting all the right spots in me ah ♥ hafuu ♥
ha ♥
It feels so... good ♥
Nn ♥
Ah ♥
fua ♥
Hero... ♥ just now... ♥
ha ♥
ha ♥
yaa ♥

005.jpg
nn♥aa♥ah♥
I'm...♥ cumming♥
fufu ♥
You let out soo~much today as well... ♥
Hero ♥
Please work hard tomorrow as well ♥ I'll be waiting for you.
Good night ♥
.........

006.jpg
Princess ♪
fufu ♥ Geez Hero-sama, that tickles!
The princess's squishy ears are so adorable
Kyah ♥
My body exists to serve The Hero
Both my heart and body completely
belong to you.
Please excuse me

007.jpg
It's almost time for the conference, please prepare...
Oh dear...
Again with the Hero in broad daylight... how shameless!
Please hurry and prepare!
Eeeh~ Can't I be absent for personal reasons?
Of course not!
Even though I don't want to go~

008.jpg
Let's pick this!
Then, see you later~
???? I been living like this for about a month now
I don't remember much
It's as if I was a baby born into an adult's body.
When I first woke up, the first thing I saw was a room filled with machines

009.jpg
... where am I?
Ahh! The consciousness awakening is finally done! I'm so glad you were able to wake up safely!
I am Alice=Fairy
Pleased to meet you, Hero!
"Hero" That's what she said my title was.
And then, to put it simply, I was called on by the highest authorities here.
And was given a mission of sorts.
It was basically monster extermination. A check against a hostile nation.
The end goal is to win the war.
And so...
Ah, it looks like she's arrived.

010.jpg
Alice! That person next to you wouldn't happen to be?
It's the hero, princess!
The person here is princess Seria=Milk.
Pleased to meet you
I'm Seria=Milk.
He-hello...
Please use the room over there to prepare princess.
Thanks for your hard work Cornelia. Now, let's be on our way, hero.
Ee?

011.jpg
Uhm...
Why are you taking off your clothes...
Uhm... princess?
Oh? You didn't hear from Alice?
Don't tell me, the princess's reward is...
fu fu ♥
That's right
... !
Wow, it's just as I imagined ♥
....... ♥
That's right. One of the mission rewards was sex with the princess.

012.jpg
Then, please take your time...
If you feel like cumming, feel free to use my mouth, no need to hold back ♥
... ♥ ♥
kuu...!
Nn ♥ nn

013.jpg
~~~!!!
uu... !!
Nn...
ufufu... ♥ I have properly drank ♥ The Hero's first semen ♥
Wow ♥ It's still so lively ♥
How about this place next?

014.jpg
Nn... ♥
My pussy
can't hold it any longer ♥
fuaah... ♥
Aa ♥
Your dick ♥♥ went in right away... so deep... ♥
So hard and hot... ♥
Ah... ♥

015.jpg
Ahh ♥
Aa...! Ahh!
H...hero...!
Hyuu!
Almost... ♥
Ahh!!
Ha ♥
Ha-
Haah...
Of course, the prizes also included gold and other things but
being able to continuously do the princess...
the other stuff didn't really matter

16.jpg
Killing monsters, getting rid of enemies of enemies.
At first the missions weren't particularly a problem but...
As the difficulty increased I had to start considering many more things
While I was prone to stressing out, the thing that supported me was...
the fact I could enjoy the princess's soft and nice smelling body.
As long as we could support our bodies, the time and place didn't matter.
Nn... ♥

17.jpg
Haa ♥
Ha... ♥
... ♥
! ! ha ahn!!
Ah... that was louder than expected.
It's ok... There's no one around this room.
Ah. But it'd be annoying if she found out, so we should be careful.
Alright hero ♥

18.jpg
Nn ♥
Nnn ♥
...
Just now, you were in the conference room right?

19.jpg
You were able to hear that after all? Ehehe...
This is not a laughing matter!
Regardless of your duties, the princess and that person shouldn't be exposing themslves so obscenely like that!
This time I'll be forgiving and overlook it but please be careful from here on out!
Yes, sorry...
nn fhnn ♥
It's so good, Cornelia's handmade cookies.
Ah. Can I take some cookies with me? I want the Hero to try some too.
... is that so
Should I mix in some poison...
Cornelia?
Ah! Yes, right away.
Thanks~

20.jpg
Princess, Alice=Fairy is currently meeting with some staff members.
Ah, princess!
Alice-chan~ long time no see~
You said you had something to to absolutely tell me today... is there a problem?
The problem... first, please take a look at this.
A hourglass?
As of now, the summoning of the Hero's body is complete, but as for his consciousness, it's incomplete, so it's... becoming more and more difficult for him to maintain his soul.
Therefore... the time limit is approaching soon.
A time limit...
What would happen if the time limit was to expire?

21.jpg
This is just a guess but...
He wouldn't be able to return to his original world or be able to maintain his presence here. It's also likely he'll be forever trapped between the space-and-time continuum.
That's why / it was decided that we would use this gate to send him back to his original world.
Is there no other way...
This is for the best.
The deadline is when the hourglass runs out.
One week later
Ah... ♥ Ahah ♥
So good... ♥

22.jpg
Haah ♥
It feels so good... ♥ Ahh ♥
Ahh... !
Doing it in the royal baths this time huh...
Even though I said all that... I wish you'd consider both my position and the inspectors' a bit more...
That stupid perverted hero...
Doing it every single day with the princess...
Ah ♥

23.jpg
Hero~ ♥
Even though I'd be able to pleasure the princess much better than him...
Princess...
That cute voice and that baby-like soft body of yours / I love everything about you...
Ah... ♥
ah...

24.jpg
Nn ♥
Ah ♥ ♥ nn... ha ♥ Ha ♥ ♥
~~ ♥ AahAh ♥ ♥

25.jpg
H... h-hero... ♥
...
I did warn you
Princess...

Thanks to Luna_Flina, N04h, and Evil-Simon on IRC for helping with some part of this!

This post has been edited by Xyresic: Aug 4 2016, 13:51

【C90】聖天子様本サンプル♥

コミックマーケット90参加します！　8月14日ヌ43b【狼幼館】です。
新刊『聖天子様お忍びせっくす』のサンプルになります☆（P24）

色々試行錯誤しながらｼｺﾘﾃｨを上げました！聖天子様は可愛いよ～あ～♥
東京エリア国家元首の聖天子様ですが、彼女もやはり一人の女の子！
代表として節制・規律正しく清く凛々しくある為に、実は人並み以上にエロかった！？
そう、あの”お慕いしています”あの一言だけで本を描くには十分過ぎました……
それからずっと描きたかったので欲望その他願望要望肉棒全部ぶつけました。希望を信じて良かったぜ……
お相手はもちろん……？？？「お相手つかまつろう（ｷﾘｯ」幼女以外もメロメロにしちゃう♪

Help me with another one. Thanks a lot dear translators. (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

If you want me to explain why I chose to translate some sentences the way I did, feel free to PM me about it.

Try to add punctuation at the end of sentences, even when it's not there in Japanese (because the language is much laxer in terms of punctuation). Usually, I use a period (or sometimes an ellipsis) at the end of normal sentences, and exclamation marks or ellipsis (or ellipsis + exclamation mark) for moans, sentences spoken during sex, etc.

The script is hard to read, here's a better way to write scripts, in my opinion:

First page of your script:

CODE

002.jpg
Thank you for your work today too Hero.
Please come this way.
fufu... ♥
It's service time ♥ Please feel free to use Seria's [my] body to pleasure yourself...♥
... ♥
Nn...
What a strong smell... ♥

How I'd write it:

CODE

002.jpg

今
Thank you for your work today too
Hero.

こ
Please come this way.

ふ
fufu... ♥

こ
It's service time ♥
Please feel free to use Seria's [my] body to pleasure yourself...♥

…
... ♥

ん
Nn...

濃
What a strong smell... ♥

I write the translations of split bubbles on different lines and add the first character of each bubble so that the editor knows where the text's supposed to go (I used to write the whole text, but that took too much time).
I've also seen "blah blah blah / blah blah blah" to show the editor where the text is supposed to be split, which is okay, but a little bit less readable than above in my opinion.

002.jpg

Thank you for your work today too Hero.
While this isn't wrong per se, I think it's still too close to the Japanese sentence and sounds awkward in English. However, it's one of those expressions set in stone in Japanese that I don't know how to translate well in English. Maybe "Looks like you've had a tough day today, Hero." would fit here.

It's service time ♥ Please feel free to use Seria's [my] body to pleasure yourself...♥
"It's service time" -> "We're now entering service time" is a bit closer to the original meaning.
I think you should use first person (here "my") when a character uses third person to talk about themselves in Japanese (it sounds cute in Japanese, but I think it really sounds wrong in English).
"Please feel free to use Seria's [my] body to pleasure yourself..." -> it's actually closer to "Let me use my body to make you feel good..."

Nn...
I usually try to make moans sound more English, e.g., I'd probably translate this "Mnn..." (I'll point this out again when I encounter "new" moans, I'll just write "moans:" and how I'd translate them).

003.jpg

Nn... Aa Ahh ♥ ♥
moans: "Mnn... Aah! Aah!" (some like "Ahh!" better than "Aah!")

Hero's... ♥
When a character talks to another one, you should definitely use second person in English, so it should be "Yours...".
But it still sounds wrong and should probably be "Your dick...".

fuwah ♥
moan: "Fwah!"

004.jpg

hya ♥ fua... ♥
moans: "Hnah! Fwah...!"

Hero's dick ♥
"Your dick"

is hitting all the right spots in me
Very liberal translation, but I like it.

ah ♥ hafuu ♥
moan: "Haffh!"

ha ♥
moan: "Haah!"

Hero... ♥ just now... ♥
If you want to connect with the next sentence better, you may want to make her say "Hero... I'm going..." (to cum).

yaa ♥
moan: "Ahn!"

005.jpg

nn♥aa♥ah♥
This would probably be better as "Mnn! Aaaah!", and leave the hearts where they are in the bubble.

You let out soo~much today as well... ♥
The meaning is "We had sooo much sex today as well..."

Please work hard tommorrow as well ♥ Because I'll be waiting
"tomorrow"
"because" just sounds wrong here to me. "I'll be waiting." is clear enough.

.........
"..." is probably enough (especially since the other one probably won't fit in the bubble).

006.jpg

fufu ♥ Geeze Hero-sama, that tickles!
"Geeze, Hero, that tickles!" (comma + you didn't write honorifics before, so you shouldn't use them here either to be consistent).

The princess's squishy ears are so adorable
"Your squishy earlobes are so adorable, princess."

Kyah ♥
"Squee!" (that's how I usually translate きゃ in this context, but you can use something else, or even keep "kyah" if you like it better that way).

The reason for my body is to be of service to The Hero
Sorry, but this just sounds wrong. "My body exists for the sole purpose of being of service to you, Hero."

Both my heart and body completely
belongs to you.
"belong" (subject is plural).

007.jpg

Oh dear...
Sounds too composed to me, when she doesn't look composed at all. I think "Huh?!" would fit better.

Again with the Hero in broad daylight... how shameless!
Sounds wrong in English (the Japanese language tends to omit a lot of things when they are obvious from context, but you cannot omit as many things in English, so you have to add some of them for the sentence to make sense). "You've been doing it with the Hero again in broad daylight..."

Even though I don't want to go~
"But I don't want to go..." ("even though" doesn't sound very good here, and I personally don't like using tildes in English).

008.jpg

Let's pick this!
"I'm ready!"

When I first woke up, the first thing I saw was a room filled with machines
Since the sentence ends with "と…" in Japanese to connect with the next page (Alice's presence), I suggest "a room filled with machines and..." to keep the same effect.

009.jpg

... where is this?
"... Where am I?" sounds slightly more idiomatic to me, but I could be wrong.

Ahh! The consciousness summoning is finally done! I'm so glad you were able to wake up safely!
"Your consciousness has finally been completely summoned!"

I am Alice=Fairy
"Alice Fairy", the equal sign is a sign that is sometimes put between Western first names and family names in Japanese.

And then, to put it simply, I was called on by the highest authorities here.
"And then, after learning some basic facts about this world, I was called on by the highest authorities in the Empire" ("here" is a bit too vague to me, and since we know its an empire from the fact the princess's title is 皇女, we can write it here, so that less is lost in translation).
Also, I wouldn't end this sentence with a period, since it actually continues into the next text box (you may want to add an ellipsis, though).

And was given some mission of sorts.
"and was given several "missions"."

It was basically monster extermination. A check against a hostile nation.
"They were mostly monster exterminations and leading diversions against hostile nations."

The end goal is to win the war.
"ultimate goal" sounds more idiomatic to me.

010.jpg

It's the hero, princess!
"Yes, it's the hero, princess!" would connect with the previous sentence better.

The person here is princess Seria=Milk.
"Seria Milk"

???? Please(?) By all means(?)
"Nice to meet you." (it's basically the same as よろしく)

I'm Seria=Milk.
"Seria Milk"

Please use the room over there to prepare princess.
"I have prepared the room over there for you, princess."

Thanks for your hard work Cornelia. Now, let's be on our way, hero.
"Thank you, Cordelia." (I think "for your hard work" is too much here, and it's Cordelia)

Ee?
Looks wrong in English. You could use "Eh?" or "Huh?", among others.

011.jpg

Why are you taking off your clothes...
Needs a question mark.

Oh? You didn't hear from Alice?
"Hasn't Alice told you about this?"

Don't tell me, the princess's reward is...
A bit ambiguous. I'd go with "Don't tell me you're going to reward me with..." (may be too long though).

Wow, it's just as I imagined ♥
"Wow! ♥ It's just as magnificent as I imagined! ♥"

That's right. One of the mission rewards was sex with the princess.
"As you can see, one of my rewards for completing my missions is sex with the princess."

012.jpg

kuu...!
moan: "Khh...!"

013.jpg

~~~!!!
Here, I'd just ask the editor to erase the ッ and leave the rest of the bubble untouched.

uu... !!
moans: "Hng...!!"

ufufu... ♥ I have properly drank ♥ The Hero's first semen ♥
More liberal, but sounds better, in my opinion: "Ufufu... It was your first time cumming, and I've drank all of it."

How about this place next?
Again, more liberal: "Shall we have sex now?"

014.jpg

My pussy
can't hold it any longer ♥
More liberal: "I can't wait any longer... // I need you inside my pussy now... ♥"

Your dick ♥♥ in one stroke entered... so deep... ♥
"Your dick went so deep ♥♥ / inside me... in one... stroke! ♥"

So hard and hot... ♥
"It's so hard and hot... ♥" (unless you left the "it's" out on purpose, which is fine too).

015.jpg

Here, for example, I'd really need some indications on where the text is supposed to go (e.g., you translated bubbles from the second panel before you finished those from the first one).

Hyuu!
"Hnnng!"

Almost... ♥
"So good... ♥" (凄い)

being able to continuously do the princess...
the other stuff didn't really matter
More liberal: "the more sex I had with the princess // the less I cared about the rest."

16.jpg

The killing of monsters.
The elimination of enemies.
"Killing monsters, eliminating enemies."

At first the missions weren't particularly a problem but...
"The missions didn't pose any threat at first..."

???? The difficulty keeps going up and the number of things that absolutely need to be done keep increasing.
"But they kept on getting more difficult, and I started to have to pay attention not to get on anyone's wrong side." (the end is a bit liberal, but I think it's what it really means).

???? In this situation, the one who supported me mentally from the accumulating stress...
More liberal: "What kept me from mentally crumbling under all that stress"

???? was the princess' soft body that always smelled so smelled so good and never failed to please.
"was that I could enjoy to the fullest the princess's soft body that always smelled so good."

Being able to mix our bodies together, we did it without a care for the time or place.
"As long as I could have sex with her, / I didn't care about the time or place." (I think it's "I" rather than "we" here, since he's speaking about how it helped him endure the situation he was in).

17.jpg

Ah... my voice came out
More liberal: "Ah... I didn't mean to moan!"

Ah. But being seen would be annoying so be a bit careful.
"Ah, / but we'll be in for a scolding if we're found out, so be careful."

18.jpg

Just now, you were in the conference room right?
"Just now, you were having sex in the conference room, right?" (なさる = する, literally: "you were doing it").

19.jpg

You were able to hear that after all? Ehehe...
More liberal (not sure it's better): "So we were found out, after all. Ehehe..."

Regardless of your duties, the princess and that person shouldn't be exposing themslves so obscenely like that!
More liberal (but closer to the original meaning): "Even if it's your duty, you're still a princess! / You shouldn't expose yourself so obscenely like that!"

nn fhnn ♥
moans: "Mnn! Hmm!"

It's so good, Cornelia's handmade cookies.
"Cordelia, / your handmade cookies are delicious!"

Should I mix in some poison...
"Should I poison them...?" and needs a question mark anyway.

Cornelia?
"Cordelia?"

20.jpg

Princess, Alice=Fairy is currently meeting with some staff members.
Princess, counselor Alice Fairy is calling for you.

You said you had something to to absolutely tell me today... is there a problem?
"You said there's something you absolutely have to tell me today"

The problem... first, please take a look at this.
"Well, kind of... First, please take a look at this."

A hourglass?
"An hourglass?"

The current Hero's body has been completely summoned, but because of his consciousness being incomplete... it's becoming more and more difficult for him to maintain his soul.
"The current hero's body has been completely summoned but not his consciousness, / so it's becoming more and more difficult to maintain his soul."

21.jpg

He wouldn't be able to return to his original world or be able to maintain his presence here.
It's also likely he'll be forever trapped between space-time forever.
"It's possible that he'd be unable to return to his original world or maintain his presence here, / forced to wander the cracks of space-time for all eternity."

That's why / it was decided that we would use this gate to send him back to his original world.
I'm pretty sure Alice made the decision (when the subject is omitted in a Japanese sentence, it's often the speaker). "That's why / I think we should send him back to his original world through this gate."

Is there no other way...
Needs a question mark.

22.jpg

Even though I said all that... I wish you'd consider the positions of me and the inspectors a bit...
"Even though I told her to stop... I wish she'd put herself in my shoes. I'm supposed to watch over her."

Everyday over and over doing it with the princess...
Sounds wrong. "He's doing it everyday with her, again and again...!"

23.jpg

That cute voice and that baby-like soft body of yours / I love everything about you...
"Your cute voice, your body that's as soft as a baby's..."

25.jpg

I did warned you
"I did warn you,"

KirbyDances is da real MVP (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/cool.gif)

Wow, KirbyDances! Thanks for the detailed look over! I'm about halfway through editing the script with your suggestions. I'll finish up later tonight.

Thank you very much again!

Thanks again for that detailed critique KirbyDances! A lot of great pointers, especially prefacing the sentence with the first Japanese word. A couple questions I had:

007.jpg
Oh dear...
* K: Sounds too composed to me, when she doesn't look composed at all. I think "Huh?!" would fit better.
* X: Does the princess say this or the maid? I thought it was the princess (and she doesn't look panicked at all)
Oh dear...

008.jpg
When I first woke up, the first thing I saw was a room filled with machines
* K: Since the sentence ends with "と…" in Japanese to connect with the next page (Alice's presence), I suggest "a room filled with machines and..." to keep the same effect.
* X: Hmm, I don't like that "と/and" transition, I'll just add in ellipses.
When I first woke up, the first thing I saw was a room filled with machines...

009.jpg
It was basically monster extermination. A check against a hostile nation.
* K: "They were mostly monster exterminations and leading diversions against hostile nations."
* X: Is it really diversions? I'm going to go with battles here because I feel like the sentence made it feel like he had a much bigger impact than just diversions.
They were mostly monster exterminations and leading battles against hostile nations.

015.jpg
* K: Here, for example, I'd really need some indications on where the text is supposed to go (e.g., you translated bubbles from the second panel before you finished those from the first one).
* X: So I actually never know if there's a actual order to read panels like this. Do you have to finish ALL the dialog in one panel before moving on to the next panel, or when there's a bubble that's immediately after (below) the last one (but half-way in-between panels) you read that one first, then double back?

And here's the updated script:

CODE

002.jpg
今 Thank you for the hard work today, Hero.
こ Please come this way.
ふ fufu... ♥
こ It's now service time ♥ Please let me use my body to make you feel good... ♥
… ... ♥
ん Mnn...
濃 What a strong smell... ♥

003.jpg
勇 Hero...?
ふ Fufu ♥ You're going for the main course straightaway today. ♥
… ... ♥
ん Mmm... Aah! Ahh! ♥ ♥
勇 Hero's... ♥
一 went in... in one stroke... ♥ ♥ fuwah ♥
あ Aah... ♥

004.jpg
あ Ah ♥
ひ Hnah! ♥ Fua...! ♥
ん Nn ♥ Mmm ♥
ん Nnmm ♥
勇 Your dick ♥
お is hitting all the right spots in me... ♥ Aah! ♥ Haffh! ♥
は Haah! ♥
気 It feels so... good ♥
ん Nn ♥
あ Ah ♥
ふ fua ♥
ゆ Hero... ♥ I'm going... ♥
は Haah! ♥
は Haah! ♥
っ Ahn! ♥

005.jpg
ん Mmm! ♥ Aah! ♥ Ahh! ♥
イ I'm...♥ cumming♥
ふ fufu ♥
今 We did it so~o much today as well... ♥
勇 Hero ♥
明 Please work hard tomorrow as well ♥ I'll be waiting for you.
お Good night ♥
… ...

006.jpg
皇 Princess ♪
ふ Fufu ♥ Geez Hero, that tickles!
皇 Your squishy earlobes are so adorable, princess.
き Kyah ♥
私 My body exists for the sole purpose of being of to service to you, Hero.
こ Both my heart and body completely
勇 belong to you.
失 Please excuse me

007.jpg
も It's almost time for the conference, please prepare...
あ Oh dear...
ま You've been doing it with the hero again in broad daylight... how shameless!
急 Please hurry and prepare!
え Eeeh~ Can't I be absent for personal reasons?
ダ Of course not!
離 But I don't want to go...

008.jpg
こ I'm ready!
じ Then, see you later~
こ I been living like this for about a month now.
俺 I don't remember much, having lost my memories.
ま It's as if I was a baby born into an adult's body.
目 When I first woke up, the first thing I saw was a room filled with machines...

009.jpg
… ... Where am I?
あ Ahh! Your consciousness has finally been summoned! I'm so glad you were able to wake up safely!
私 I am Alice Fairy.
よ Pleased to meet you, Hero!
勇 "Hero." That's what she said my title was.　And then, after learning some basic facts about this world, I was called on by the highest authorities in The Empire,
い and was given several "missions".
基 They were mostly monster exterminations and leading battles against hostile nations.
最 The ultimate goal is to win the war.
そ And so...
あ Ah, it looks like she's arrived.

010.jpg
ア Alice! That person next to you wouldn't happen to be?
勇 Yes, it's the hero, princess!
こ The person here is Princess Seria Milk.
よ Pleased to meet you.
セ I'm Seria Milk.
ど He-hello...
あ I have prepared the room over there for you, princess.
ご Thank you, Cordelia. Now, let's be on our way, Hero.
… ... Eh?

011.jpg
え Uhm...
何 Why are you taking off your clothes...?
あ Uhm... princess?
あ Oh? Hasn't Alice told you about this?
ま Don't tell me, the reward from the princess is...
ふ Fu fu ♥
そ That's right!
… ... !
ま Wow, it's as magnificent as I imagined! ♥
… ... ♥
そ As you can see, one of the rewards for completing my missions is sex with the princess...

012.jpg
で Then, please take your time...
出 If you feel like cumming, feel free to use my mouth, no need to hold back. ♥
… ... ♥ ♥
く Khh...!
ん Nn ♥ Mnn...

013.jpg
～ ~~~!! [TN: please remove the ツ here during editing, but don't erase the squiggly line]
う Hng... !!
… ... Nn...
う Ufufu... ♥ It was your first time cumming ♥ and I've drank it all. ♥
ま Wow ♥ It's still so lively. ♥
次 Shall we have sex now?

014.jpg
ん Nn... ♥
セ I can't wait any longer -
も I want you to put it inside my pussy. ♥
ふ Fuaah... ♥
あ Aah! ♥
勇 Your dick went so deep ♥♥ inside me... in one stroke... ♥
熱 It's so hard and hot... ♥
あ Ahh... ♥♥

015.jpg
あ Ahh ♥
あ Aa...! Ahh!
ゆ H... Hero...!
ひ Hnnng!
す So good... ♥
あ Ahh!!
は Ha ♥
は Ha-
は Haah...
も Of course, the prizes also included gold and other things but...
皇 the more sex I had with the princess, the less I cared about the rest.

16.jpg
モ Killing monsters, eliminating enemies.
最 At first the missions weren't particularly difficult but...
難 As the difficulty increased I had to start considering many more things.
ス What kept me from mentally crumbling under all that stress...
皇 was the fact I could enjoy the princess's soft body that always smelled so good.
体 As long as I could have sex with her, I didn't care about the time or place.
ん Nn... ♥

17.jpg
は Haa ♥　Ha... ♥
… ... ♥
～ ~!~! Haa aahn!!
あ Ah... that was louder than expected.
大 It's ok... There's no one around this room.
あ Ah. But it'd be annoying if she found out, so we should be careful.
分 Alright Hero ♥

18.jpg
ん Nn ♥
ん Nnn ♥
… ...
さ Just now, you were having sex in the conference room, right?

19.jpg
や So you found out after all...? Ehehe...
え This is not a laughing matter!
い Even if it's your duty, you're still a princess! You shouldn't expose yourself so obscenely like that!
今 This time I'll be forgiving and overlook it but please be careful from here on out!
は Yes, sorry...
ん Mnn~ Hfmm! ♥
美 Cordelia's handmade cookies are soo~ delicious!
あ Ah. Can I take some with me? I want the hero to try some too.
… ... is that so...
毒 Should I poison them...?
コ Cordelia?
い Ah! Yes, right away.
あ Thanks~

20.jpg
皇 Princess, Counselor Alice Fairy is calling for you.
あ Ah, princess!
ア Alice! Long time no see~
今 You said there's something you absolutely had to tell me today... is something wrong?
問 Well, kind of... first, please take a look at this.
砂 An hourglass?
今 Currently, the hero's body has been completely summoned but not his consciousness, so it's... becoming more and more difficult for him to maintain his soul here.
そ Therefore... the time limit is approaching soon.
限 Time limit...
も What would happen if the time limit was to expire?

21.jpg
こ This is just a guess but...
元 It's possible that he'd be unable to return to his original world or maintain his presence here, forced to wander between the cracks of the space-time continuum for all eternity.
だ That's why I think we should send him back to his original world through this gate.
他 Is there no other way...?
こ This is for the best.
砂 The deadline is when the hourglass runs out.
一 One Week Later
あ Ah... ♥ Ahah ♥
い So good... ♥

22.jpg
は Haah ♥
気 It feels so good... ♥ Ahh ♥
あ Ahh... !
今 Doing it in the royal baths this time...
あ Even though I told her to stop... I wish she'd put herself in my shoes. I'm supposed to watch over her.
あ That stupid perverted hero...
毎 Doing it every single day with the princess...
あ Ah ♥

23.jpg
勇 Hero~ ♥
こ Even though I'd be able to pleasure the princess much better than him...
皇 Princess...
そ Your cute voice, your body that's as soft as a baby's... I love everything about you...
あ Ahh... ♥
あ Aah...

24.jpg
ん Nn ♥
あ Ah ♥ ♥ nn... ha ♥ Ha ♥ ♥
～ ~~ ♥ AahAh ♥ ♥

25.jpg
あ Ahh ha aah Ah ♥
ん Hng ♥
ゆ H... H-Hero... ♥
…　...
ア I did warn you
皇 Princess...

007.jpg
Oh dear...
* K: Sounds too composed to me, when she doesn't look composed at all. I think "Huh?!" would fit better.
* X: Does the princess say this or the maid? I thought it was the princess (and she doesn't look panicked at all)
Oh dear...

I think it's the maid, based on the fact that the bubble lacks an arrow pointing to the princess. Bubbles that don't have an arrow pointing to a character (or with an arrow pointing towards the inside of the bubble and not towards a character) are usually spoken by character who are not on the picture. It's not foolproof and depends on the author's style a lot, but it's a good indication.

008.jpg
When I first woke up, the first thing I saw was a room filled with machines
* K: Since the sentence ends with "と…" in Japanese to connect with the next page (Alice's presence), I suggest "a room filled with machines and..." to keep the same effect.
* X: Hmm, I don't like that "と/and" transition, I'll just add in ellipses.
When I first woke up, the first thing I saw was a room filled with machines...

That doesn't work as well for me, but it's your translation, so translate it the way that works best for you.

009.jpg
It was basically monster extermination. A check against a hostile nation.
* K: "They were mostly monster exterminations and leading diversions against hostile nations."
* X: Is it really diversions? I'm going to go with battles here because I feel like the sentence made it feel like he had a much bigger impact than just diversions.
They were mostly monster exterminations and leading battles against hostile nations.

Okay, I just checked, and that word has several meanings that are very different in English. It can mean "feint" or "diversion", but I guess the one that fits best here is "containing attack" (seems to be a technical military term). I guess "leading battles" is fine, since it can mean different things in Japanese, and we don't really need to be precise here.

015.jpg
* K: Here, for example, I'd really need some indications on where the text is supposed to go (e.g., you translated bubbles from the second panel before you finished those from the first one).
* X: So I actually never know if there's a actual order to read panels like this. Do you have to finish ALL the dialog in one panel before moving on to the next panel, or when there's a bubble that's immediately after (below) the last one (but half-way in-between panels) you read that one first, then double back?

You don't have to translate bubbles in a predefined order, but the editor will expect you to translate them in the order that is most logical to them (and that's usually to translate panels in order). Therefore, in order to minimize the possible confusion between you and the editor, I advise you to translate panels in order and to leave indications (e.g., the first letter of the bubble) so they can check where the text goes when they don't know.

And here's the updated script:

CODE

今 Thank you for the hard work today, Hero.

For your future scripts, I'd advise against putting the Japanese character and the translation on the same line, since it's easier for editors to select a single line of text (triple click in a good text editor), but they can miss the first or last character if they try to select the text by hand (which they're forced to do if the Japanese character is on the same line as the translation).

https://e-hentai.org/s/c41b69f7f1/896564-4
I couldn't think of an appropriate translation of 裸の付き合い

I translated that bubble as:
What are you talking about? We're just being open with each other right now!

Lemme know if anyone has any other suggestions for 裸の付き合い

This post has been edited by chung2795: Aug 6 2016, 09:54

https://e-hentai.org/s/c41b69f7f1/896564-4
I couldn't think of an appropriate translation of 裸の付き合い

I translated that bubble as:
What are you talking about? We're just being open with each other right now!

Lemme know if anyone has any other suggestions for 裸の付き合い

How'd you translate the same phrase in page 3? I think it's fine to go with something like "getting to know each other's [bodies?]"...
"Well... that's... I wanted to stay with you more..."
"[Name]..."
"Alright, tonight let's get to know each other's thoroughly!"
"Uwah!"
"Ooh, [Name]'s penis got bigger"
”Haa, of course that'll happen if you stick to me naked like that!"
"Hey, let's try washing it"
"Ah haha, that tickles!"
"Uhm... doesn't this feel really embarrassing?"
"What are you talking about, we're just getting to know each other!"

That'd fit in with the flow of things, wouldn't it?


---- ---- ---- ----


Can anyone check if I 'm getting these right? The Japanese in this one isn't spoken dialog and in the passive form (I think?) and I feel like it might be beyond me D:

プロデューサーのペニスを慰めながらプロデューサーとキズするしぶりん。おしりを撫でられながら挿入れられ
るのを想像して濡れてしまう。
Shiburin strokes the producer's dick while kissing him. As the producer rubs her ass, Shiburin gets wet as she imagines the dick going inside her.

しぶりんを後ろから襲うプロデューサー。深く挿入されると抵抗できなくなるしぶりん。壁に押し付け、髪の匂
いを嗅ぎながら後ろからしぶりんの尻と腟穴を楽しむ。感じすぎて突き入れるたびにビクビク震える下半身を支
えてやりながら、深い挿入を繰り返す。
Shiburin is attacked from behind by the producer as he inserts his dick deep inside her, rendering her defenseless. Producer enjoys Shiburin's ass and pussy from behind as he smells Shiburin's hair while forcing her her against the wall. Everytime Shiburin tries to support herself from the thrusts that causes her lower body to twitch in pleasure, Producer's dick goes deep inside her again.

疲れを癒やしてくれるような丁寧なしぶりんのフィラチオ。
Shiburin's gentle fellatio really blows the day's fatigue away.

水着ロケの後、ホテルで下から突き上げられるしぶりん。大きなペニスを根本まで挿入したまま、何度もイかさ
れて涙目でがんばる。健気な締め付けに何度も射精してしまうプロデューサー。
After a swimsuit photo session, Producer does Shiburin from below at the hotel. With watery eyes, Shiburin tries her best despite the giant penis hitting all the way up to her cervix. Her pussy bravely clamps down on Producer's dick as he ejaculates without stop.

正常位で深く挿入され、身体を蕩けさせられるしぶりん。
Shiburin's body melts as the producer's dick enters deeply in the missionary position.

つれない態度をみせつつも基本的にいつでもセックスさせてくれるしぶりん。プドデューサーが勃起する度に挿
入され、一日に何度も膣内射精される。
Shiburin's cold attitude is basically caused by all the sex she has. The Producer puts it in Shiburin whenever he gets an erection, cumming inside countless times.
(What the heck is that つも in みせつつも基本的に?)

For your future scripts, I'd advise against putting the Japanese character and the translation on the same line, since it's easier for editors to select a single line of text (triple click in a good text editor), but they can miss the first or last character if they try to select the text by hand (which they're forced to do if the Japanese character is on the same line as the translation).

Dammit. That kinda sucks. All the vertical space wasted, especially with the moans!

Oh well. Thanks again for looking over my script!

This post has been edited by Xyresic: Aug 7 2016, 13:48

Yeah it does sound better, thanks (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Having trouble with a bubble in page 13 of https://e-hentai.org/s/7a2f089aac/820837-13 It's the handwritten one.

Looks like she's saying "ふう　力ぬそ♡” or ”ふう　カぬそ♡".

I can't seem to make sense of either. Is it some super-slang or a weird dialect? Going dictionary diving it could mean "Hmm, not so strong". But I really doubt that's it.

This post has been edited by gustmonk: Aug 8 2016, 15:50

Having trouble with a bubble in page 13 of https://e-hentai.org/s/7a2f089aac/820837-13 It's the handwritten one.

Looks like she's saying "ふう　力ぬそ♡” or ”ふう　カぬそ♡".

I can't seem to make sense of either. Is it some super-slang or a weird dialect? Going dictionary diving it could mean "Hmm, not so strong". But I really doubt that's it.

ホラ
力ぬいて♡

The standard line before jamming it in.

ホラ
力ぬいて♡

The standard line before jamming it in.

Of course. I saw the い and て merged into one character.

Thank you.

https://e-hentai.org/s/a7bd71e886/841713-48
https://e-hentai.org/s/1ad953c08f/841713-49
Can someone tell what is being said here? thanks

Could help me to translate this text into english?


This post has been edited by benjiotaku: Aug 13 2016, 04:17