QUOTE(Super Shanko @ Jul 23 2014, 19:03)

Just a quick script check for a new (doujinshi) translator and
this gallery.
Neet Corp (Outou Chieri) Ecchi-ku Na~ru de Ecchi-ku Na~ru!? (Smile Precure)
Page:4
I got it!! << more like a tennis grunt (or I guess volleyball grunt), not really a major problem
Panel3
(Black-haired girl): Akane is as amazing as I’d heard. << やっぱ doesn't really refer to hearsay and translating it as such is clumsy at the very least. "Akane really is amazing!"
(Blond): Nobody could stop an attack like that. <<
Panel4
There’s nothing that can stop her. << Already completely wrong. Akane saying "That's not true at all" to be humble
Panel5
Hehehe
Page:5
Panel 1
(Voice): She carelessly drank the poison. Cure Sunny- << クスリ is drug/medicine, not poison
Panel 2
Akane: M-Majorina!? What are you doing here!? <<
Even if you notice me, it’s too late now. << Just clumsy.
Panel 3
The world is mine!! This is the worst outcome for you. << A complete rewrite along with the next line
You’ve been poisoned the battle is over. << Both lines together literally say something like "The worst possible ending for the world! It'll be stained with 'bad end'!" (I see that バッドエンドプリキュア is some kind of evil precure version, but I'm not nearly familiar/do not care enough to think of a good translation, just pointing out how made up the translation is getting. Also not sure if バットエンド is spelled wrong on purpose, but it even has its own entry [
dic.pixiv.net]
http://dic.pixiv.net/a/バットエンドプリキュア )
Panel 4
[small bubble] Tch…
The white pages will be painted black! << *future of* white pages (again no idea if this is a reference to anything)
Panel 6
Ah, no good… if that happens then everyone …<< if this happens → at this rate (for a literal translation of このままだと)
If it comes down to this… <<
Page 6
Panel 2
Pretty cure!!
Smile charge!!
Panel4
Sunny!!
The brilliant sun, hot blooded puff! << lol, misreading パワー (power) as パフー (pufuu???!?!)
Panel5
Cure Sunny!! <<
Page 7
Panel1: Alright then, here I go. <<
Panel2:
Majori- <<
[left bubble] Guh! <<
Panel3
Wha- What’s this…? <<
Feels like the power is draining from my… << slight rewrite, 身体に力が(入らない), better adapted to "I can't move" or something
Panel4
Fufufu <<
Panel5
I wonder if this has something to do with it. << "I wonder if you know what this is?" (weirdly rewritten)
Panel6
Th-That! Isn’t that the sports drink I had earlier!? <<
Page 8
Panel1
How did that happen!? << weird rewrite again, more like "What did you do!?"
Panel2
When you were in a daze, playing volley ball << lol again, 夢中 here doesn't mean "in a daze", means engrossed in. Also doesn't explicitly say "volleyball" but 珠遊び → ball game
I was able to prepare the poison, that’s how. << Again poison. "I took the liberty of spiking your drink"
Panel3
I call it… ‘ecchi-ku na-ru’!! << as if anyone would get what that's supposed to mean; become perverted (lack of effort on my part)
Panel4
[top half word bubble] When this poison is consumed, your body becomes hot << poison... Doesn't say "your body", says "No matter who drinks it, their body immediately becomes hot"
[lower half word bubble] And you begin to have lewd feelings << awkward.
Panel5
[ small top left bubble] tch…
Exactly like how you are now. <<
Yeah.