[X] My Assistant

It came to my attention that I've been using wrong order for adverbs for imperative sentences, for example:

次は私の・番だよ
Now it's my turn

It should be:

It's my turn now!

I'm in the middle of fixing the translation of previous chapters. There are a few places, where I need to fix it.

It's fixed now, I reviewed chapters 1-5 from volume 3. I hope that it makes more sense now.

This post has been edited by piotr012: May 1 2012, 15:09

...There's really not much difference in that example.

I haven't looked at your last...3? scripts or so, but if that example is as extreme as the changes you're thinking of are going to get, then you probably don't need to worry about it.

I already did all the changes, all of them were minor.
However, there is a slight difference in meaning between those two sentences. Since, I've been making the same mistake over and over again, I just though that it's a good idea to fix it.

次は私の・番だよ
Now it's my turn
This sound a lot of like a regular statement.
It should be:
It's my turn now!
This one carries the meaning that the person saying it, actually gives an order. He may be the one that decides, etc.

I feel like the difference was the exclamation point (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/duck.gif)

If you are done with editing then you don't have to fix it.
If not then you may as well use the new version.

Well I ain't doing the editing for any of the chapters right now. I'm up to my neck with stuff to do, and I want to finish lightshader's editing bounty that I took like a month ago (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/anime_cry.gif) Sorry bout the delays lightshader. (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/anime_cry.gif)

Stuff like this can always be fixed for the complete volume release anyways.

EDIT - urk, I just noticed that the bounty was finished by someone else when I finally found the time today, oh well.

This post has been edited by Kaosumx: May 2 2012, 00:15

I've finished the translation of chapter 6.

I used two new names, I'm not sure if I got them right:
桃色の谷　the Pink Valley
桃色宝球　the Pink Jewel

Here is the link
[goo.gl] http://goo.gl/cbd01

It should be:
It's my turn now!
This one carries the meaning that the person saying it, actually gives an order. He may be the one that decides, etc.

That's not an order, it's just a statement. Emphatic, sure; but not an order.

If you analyze it closely, I see the (minor) distinction you're trying to make, but if you just read it casually, I'm not sure it makes a difference. So...whatever, I guess.

That's not an order, it's just a statement. Emphatic, sure; but not an order.

If you analyze it closely, I see the (minor) distinction you're trying to make, but if you just read it casually, I'm not sure it makes a difference. So...whatever, I guess.

Yes, you are right. I saw that other people consistently translate sentences that way. It sound just a tiny bit better to me.

I've finished translating chapter 7.
[goo.gl] http://goo.gl/O4E6x

I'm going to read it two more times to make sure, that everything is fine.

パメラの身の臭いで
どんなにいても
よくわかるぜ
We will your wherever you are,
thanks to the smell of Pamera's fruit.

I don't know whenever パメラの身 is Pamera's fruit or a fruit named Pamera. They said that this fruit was grown by a witch. So it's safe to assume that Pamera is a name of a witch.


This post has been edited by piotr012: May 3 2012, 02:12

Not a bad tempo, no...

Are you planning to post bounties for volume 4 too?

Certainly, although before that I'd like to hear from proofreader(s) and editors of volume 3. If they are fine with the translation, then I'll bountify chapters from volume 4 within few days.

Episode 18 volume 3 chapter 2
[goo.gl] http://goo.gl/cC8ev
I'm still not sure what names should I use for:
陰の魔導書　= Shadow Grimoire or maybe Magical Book of Darkness or ...
陰の書　= 陰の魔導書 This book is referred using a shorter form. Perhaps, I should also change the name to something like Shadow Book
陰の怪物 = Shadow Monster ? Should those be just called Shadow Monsters?

There were a few translations that I wasn't completely sure of. I marked it in the text. Let me know if you have any comments, suggestions.

Can I take up this editing job? Or is Dojima doing it?

This post has been edited by kjoif: May 3 2012, 12:07

Yay (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Can I take up this editing job? Or is Dojima doing it?

Sure. I must have missed Dojima question, and he never PM me. I'll ping him about open editing jobs for subsequent chapters.

Also:

Editing bounty for Episode 21: https://e-hentai.org/bounty.php?bid=5707
Editing bounty for Episode 22: https://e-hentai.org/bounty.php?bid=5708
Editing bounty for Episode 23: https://e-hentai.org/bounty.php?bid=5709

This post has been edited by Red_Piotrus: May 3 2012, 19:00

Just letting you know, I originally was going to work on 19-20, but after checking the manga I've decided to drop 19 and do 20-22 instead since I liked the arc in it.

I have finished translating chapter 3 of volume 3 of Dragon Pink.
[goo.gl] http://goo.gl/QBv8P

プンクは猫だからオシッコが少し臭う（なんてリアルな設定なんだ！）
Pink's urine stinks a little, because she is a cat (what a realistic setting)
猫娘, "cat girl".

don't bit me ....
"bite".

Let me know what do you think. Should I try guessing what SFX mean? Even if can't find them in any dictionary. Should I change anything about SFX sounds?

Most SFX are very possible to find. There's a link to a Tonigobe SFX guide floating around somewhere (I'm not gonna try to find it right now), or [thejadednetwork.com] the jaded network is another option. I'm fairly sure Tonigobe's is missing a number in jaded network, and jaded network I think is missing a few in Tonigobe, but both are pretty extensive.

There is one world that I didn't get.
ピンク　こんなに・しこっちまって・どうしたんだ・
For now I use the following translation:
Pink, what up with you?

I'm not sure what word shikocchimatte means. I couldn't find it in dictionary. It is probably a slang for another word that I don't recognize or maybe those are two words put together. Who knows.

'shikotteshimatte' -> 'shikocchimatte'. [www.weblio.jp] しこる (3) probably, so basically "excited".

シーッ・もう少し待て
shi
*stare*
'shi' is "shh", and the latter part isn't translated.

this such a indecent pose is amazing
Needs better wording.

あやめったら…あ…あ
if you stop....
...aaah....ah...
'ttara' is basically "I said", not conditional/"if". Likewise in the following line, too.

もう・くたくたにゃ・……
after hat,
I'm exhausted nyaaa
Is "hat" a typo?

下は・ほれ　まだ・元気だ
Look you still have strength there,
down below.
It's kind of a weird line, but that tl just doesn't make sense. "I'm still going strong down here, see?" or something.

仕方ないにゃー・もう・モゴ…モゴ……
It can't be helped, nyaa.
again
mogo...mogo... *mumbling*
'mou' is just exasperation, not "again".

サンタァ・いっぱい……・いっぱいよォ
Santa,
a lot...
a lot...
"(I'm) full" is better than "a lot".

ちょいとセーブします
QUICK SAVE
"Save real quick." or "A quick save." or something. "Quick Save" is a Thing, and 'choito' is not that same Thing.

And that should have been the end of the chapter, but...?

ごん・ごん
gon gon
It's actually 'gosogoso'.

てめえら・何のぞいてんだあ
What are you guy looking at?
Plural. Also, "peeping on" or "spying on".

あ～ん・H
ahn
H
TL NOTE H refers to Hentai/their having sex
No. It's 'ecchi', "perverted"/"perverts".

総員・起床
Whole squad!
Get up!
TL note the second word means "get out of bed".
Hmm, "All hands" or "all units" sounds better. And "Awake!" I think.

何者かの魔法攻撃・による進入が・あったもようです
Someone has sneaked in by using a magical attack.
That kind of explosion isn't very sneaky. Maybe "invaded" instead of "sneaked in".

あのれ・ここを・ピューピック城と知ってのことか
That person knew that this is Princess Pubic Castle.
TL or "I wonder if that person knew that this is Princess Pubic Castle."
"Do (they/the bastards) realize this is Pubic Castle?" Princess is nowhere in there.

我ら・デルタ・フォースが・目にもの・見せてくれる
We the Delta Force will teach that person a lesson.
"teach them". And probably "We of".

ハハハハは
ha ha ha ha ha
*masculine laughter*
...I don't think 'haha[...]' is all that masculine, particularly?

何やっ・姿を見せい
I see some kind of shape.
'nani yatsu', "Who are you?" 'sugata wo mise(i)', "Show yourself!".

More later.

This post has been edited by PeopleDon'tDanceNoMore: May 4 2012, 16:51

Most SFX are very possible to find. There's a link to a Tonigobe SFX guide floating around somewhere (I'm not gonna try to find it right now), or [thejadednetwork.com] the jaded network is another option. I'm fairly sure Tonigobe's is missing a number in jaded network, and jaded network I think is missing a few in Tonigobe, but both are pretty extensive.
'shikotteshimatte' -> 'shikocchimatte'. [しこるhttp] しこる (3) probably, so basically "excited".

/quote]

I've been using [thejadednetwork.com] http://thejadednetwork.com/, and there are still a lot of SFX that I couldn't find.
Should I start using Tomiglobe's guide instead?

Thanks for the corrections. I'll recheck the script.

This post has been edited by piotr012: May 4 2012, 13:18

Tonigobe's guide appears to be in rookie's TL thread, in the first post. It couldn't hurt to look at it.