[X] My Assistant

Blood will proof the script soon.

I finished editing the script as best I could. I made sure spelling and grammar were corrected, and I tried to fix the context of the dialogue when I could. There are two problem areas that need to be looked at though, and they're marked in the script. Aside from that, this is good.

[goo.gl] http://goo.gl/xJeED

Silent Saturn SS vol. 9 (Sailor Moon)
:setlocal spell spelllang=en_us
set fileencodings=ucs-bom,utf-8,sjis,default
set fenc=sjis

https://e-hentai.org/bounty.php?bid=5711

https://e-hentai.org/g/407222/76219a3000/
https://e-hentai.org/g/416566/8ca7b4d459/
https://e-hentai.org/g/311494/fed71f297b/
https://e-hentai.org/g/422413/cbef9d3c89/
https://e-hentai.org/g/468683/3365f1e415/
volume 6 raw
https://e-hentai.org/g/65391/3bd1ae7be9/
volume 6 translated
https://e-hentai.org/g/468683/3365f1e415/
volume 7 raw
https://e-hentai.org/g/66525/5538e9f7dc/
volume 8 translated
...
volume 8 raw
https://e-hentai.org/g/65396/9272ff8a4e/
volume 9 raw
https://e-hentai.org/g/66530/4a27151853/
https://forums.e-hentai.org/index.php?showtopic=29265

Tomiglobe SFX
https://forums.e-hentai.org/index.php?act=A...st&id=11330

The Jaded Network
[thejadednetwork.com] http://thejadednetwork.com/sfx/search/?key...arch+SFX&x=

J->J
[www.weblio.jp] http://www.weblio.jp/content/%E9%87%8D%E3%82%8C

J->E
[ejje.weblio.jp] http://ejje.weblio.jp/content/%E9%AC%BC%E3...%AC%91%E3%81%86

people, places and object names:
牧秀人 Maki hideto
佐原一光 Sawara kazumitsu
ほたる - Hotari
ちびうさ - Chibiusa
オババ　OBABA = the old woman?
アマゾネス・カルテット　Amazoness Quartet.
デスバスターズン（Death Busters）
ダイモー（Daimoon)で
土萌教授達 - Professor Tomoe
デットムーン- Dead Moon
闇の王女 - Evil Queen
王女ネヘレニアQueen Nehelenia
海王家 - Kaiou House
カオリナイト - Kaolinite
デッドムーンサーカス - Dead Moon Circus
ほかる　ー　Hokaru
ピラピラ-PillaPilla

Mistress 9
yoma
The witches 5 | Viluy, Cyprine, subordinate demons
Jupiter, Ami
Professor Tomoe | under viluy and Cyprine's control
the daimon Germatoid
Cyprine
Mimette
Kaori-san


Order From Top to Bottom, and From left (For example: Upper 1) to right (Upper 4).
Page Script

001.jpg

no text

INTERNAL a blank page should be inserted between 001.jpg and 002.jpg to fix the page numeration

002.jpg

no text

003.jpg

no text

004.jpg

no text

005.jpg

Manga「マンガ」:Maki Hideto(牧秀人)
Sawara Kazumitsu(佐原一光) 7 ‾
illust「イラスト」Sawara Kazumitsu(佐原一光) 26
illust: Escaped Kyou-san （寄逃げ屋の恭さん）27‾
illust: Ume-san(うめさん） 37‾
manga: Maki Hideto(牧秀人)
Sawara Kazumitsu(佐原一光) 43 ‾

表紙。裏表紙
front cover. back cover

原画: 牧秀人
original picture: Maki Hideto
着色： 佐原一光
coloring: Sawara Kazumitsu

006.jpg

no text

007.jpg

これまでおはなし
The story so far.

・暗躍（あんやく）を続けるデットムーンを
相手に苦戦を強いられる内部・
セーラー戦士たち…
The core Sailor Senshi continue their rough battle against the dead moon and their secret tactics.

・だけど・そんなことはお構い・
なし（？）新たな・（のん気な）
日々を送る海王家の人々…
However, disregarding (?) that fact, the inhabitants of the Kaiou house, including the new (and popular) one, enjoy their peaceful days.
・だが・敵の拠点（きょてん）をつきとめた
ほたるとちびうさはアマゾネ
スカルテットに囚われてしまう
On the other hand,
Chibiusa and Hotaru pinned down the location of the enemy
and were captured by the Amazoness Quartet.

・一方…
meanwhile...

二人を助けるため(に）
潜入（せんにゅう）には成功した内部セーラー戦士達では
あったがカルテットの作った迷宮に閉じ込められてしまう
The core Sailor Senshi successfully infiltrated the enemy base in order to rescue those two, but they got trapped in a maze created by the Quartet.

・それに遅れて外部戦士とともに突入したセーラー
ムーンもまたマーズ達のコピーに足止め（あしどめ）を食ってしまう
Moreover, Sailor Moon and outer Senshi got captured and tormented by the copies of the core Sailor Senshi that arrived earlier.

ーーーー

迷ったあああ
We are looost‾‾

バカに
されてるの
かしら…？
I wonder whether they're trying to make fun of me...?

008.jpg

さては…
おのれ
小娘共っ
then...
Those damn girls!!

わらわを
たばかったなぁ
〜〜〜〜〜っ！！！
They deceived us
.........!!!

ーーーー

・ほたるとちびうさを捕らえたパラパラ
達は二人を弄んで（もてあそぶ）いるうちに二人を気に入ってしまう
PallaPalla and the rest of the Quartet captured Chibiusa and Hotaru, and while fooling around they began to like them
あくまで玩具（おもちゃ）として……
...just as play toys.

だがそんな彼女達に
闇の王女は、早く二人を引き渡すように迫った（せまった）
However, the evil Queen demanded that they hand over those girls as soon as possible.

女王ネヘレニアもまた、ペガサスをおびき出すため
ほたるとちびうさを苦しめるが
ネヘレニアに引き渡された二人はニセモノだった
Queen Nehelenia tried to draw out Pegasus by tormenting Chibiusa and Hotaru, but those two were fakes handed over by the Amazoness Quartet.
せっかく手に入れった
たのしい玩具を渡すことを拒んだ（こばむ）だからだ
After having gone through all the trouble, they refused to hand over their new play toys.
・そのことに気づいた王女は怒りに打ち震える（うちふるえる）...
After realizing this, the Queen became enraged...

当のペガサスもまた
土萌教授やカオリナイト、
そして今ではセーラーサターンの部下となった元ダイモーン達
と共にデットムーンへと向かっていた
The Death Busters, who recently became Sailor Saturn subordinates,
Kaolinite, Professor Tomoe and Pegasus headed towards Dead Moon.

役者達がそろうなかこの戦いも一気に終焉（しゅうえん）に
向かって突き進もうい（つきすすむ）としている
The fight between actors gathered inside is rapidly heading towards demise.
…そして…
...and then...

009.jpg

まだ
表立った（おもてだった）
動きはないか…
We still aren't going to act openly, are we?...

第17話　鏡の中の
Chapter 17 "Inside Mirror"

----

これから
どうなさるんです？
What are we going to do from here on out?

先に飛び込んだ
ハルカ君たちが
なんらかのアクシょンを
起こすはずだ
Most likely, the outer Senshi caused a huge ruckus by diving into the tent a short time ago.

私たちは
それまで待機
ーーといった
所かな
We're going to stay on standby.
... at least that's what we were told.

ーーーー

おおっ！？
ooh!

いきなりの
超必殺技か！？
Is he going to use his super special attack right now!?

ーーーー

ペガサスを支える
美しい夢のエネルギーは
現実世界では急速に
消耗（しょうもう）する　もしこのーー
The energy of beautiful dreams that sustains Pegasus has been rapidly dissipating throughout the world. If that's the case...

ーーーー

やくたたず
you are useless

足手まとい（あしてまとい）
you just get in the way

010.jpg

そうか
海王家から
出でてしまったから
しかし　これほど
消耗（しょうもう）が激しい（はげしい）とは…
Oh,
it's unbelievable that the energy has been decreasing so intensely
since we left the Kaiou House.

まずいな
誰か美しい夢を
持つ者を見つけて
宿主（やどぬし）になって
もらわないと…
Oh no!
We have to find someone with beautiful dreams to make him/her Pegasus's host.

なら
私が
how about me?

私の教授（きょうじゅ）への
愛で
with my love for the professor

ーーーー

……
…気持ちはわかるが
カヲリ君…
......
...I appreciate your good intentions, but
Kawori-Kun...

ためして
みないほうが
お互いの
ためだ
It's better not to try that for our mutual sake.

…ハイ…
...yes...

ーーーー

君がどうこうと
言うんじゃない
I'm not talking about a person like you.

我々のような
浮世（うきよ、ふせい）の汚れを着込んで(きこむ）
しまった大人では
ダメなんだ
An adult tainted by the sadness of this world won't be of use.

…そう　無垢（むく）でまるで
生まれて間もないようなー
...So, we need a pure person, just as if they were born not so long ago.

ーーーー

わたし…
…ですか…？
Are you...
..talking about me...?

ロボットですよ？
I'm a robot!?

ーーーー

ダメでもともとだ
とりあえずペガサス君
入ってみたまえ
It couldn't hurt to try.
Now Pegasus-kun - try entering, please.

ハイ
Yes.

ーーーー

あ
いけそうです
Ah.
It seems to be working.

それは
よかったです
I'm glad.

やって
みるもなだな
Ah, he already tried it.

011.jpg

ーー一方
...meanwhile

ーーーー

やっと
落ち着いたって
感じかしら
I feel that things have settled down.

さすがに
これ以上は
邪魔は入らない
だろ
It's as I expected, no one else will bother us.

ーーーー

先に忍び込んだ
ヤツらは　今ごろは
迷宮と幻影(げんえい）に翻弄（ほんろう）
されてるハズだし
Right now, those guys that sneaked in earlier should be getting toyed with by phantoms inside the maze.

012.jpg

エナジードレイン結果のある迷宮で
実体のない幻影相手に無様（ぶざま）にあがいて
They're struggling with phantoms that have no real bodies, in an unsightly way inside the maze that sucks their energy.

あげくは
全てのエナジーを
絞り(しぼり）尽くされて（つくす）
自滅って訳ね
All of their energy will get drained, and in the end they'll be destroyed.

013.jpg

後から入ってきた方々も
コピーとの無駄な
立ち回りで
足止めされてますし
People that entered afterward also struggled futilely against their copies.

結果は
おなじですわね
In the end, the result was always the same.

014.jpg

それであいつらは
めでたく全滅
That's how they got successfully destroyed.

結局　最後に
笑うのは　あたしたち
ですわね
In the end, we always get the last laugh.

ーーーー

…でも
なんかわすれて
いませんこと？
...However, aren't we forgetting something?

。。。

あ
ネヘレニア様っ！！！
Ah, Nehelenia-sama!!!

バレた時は
知らぬ存ぜぬ
。。。だな。。。
When she finds out, we'll deny all knowledge of it
...right...

015.jpg

おのれぇぇ
Those girls!!

しらぬ存ぜぬを
決めこむつもりだろうが…
They are planning to pretend that they have no knowledge of this.

ーーーー

早く
あの二人を
クソガキ共から
奪って来いっ！！！
Take away those two from those brats, quickly!

ーーーー

どいつも
こいつも…
Everyone of them...

なぜ
わらわの
思いどうりに
ならぬのか…
Why can't anyone just do as I tell them to..

ーーーー

忌々しい…（いまいましい）
It's so annoying...

こうなれば
わらわが自ら
It seems I have to do this myself.

それは
無理だわ…
I won't allow it...

016.jpg

だ
誰じゃ！？
Who,
Who are you?

この神聖なる所に
踏み込む（ふみこむ）無礼者はっ！！？
Who is the impudent fool that would raid this sacred place!!?

ーーーー

やっと
突き止めた…
Finally, I located this place...

その鏡が今の
あなたの仮の器
…そして
あなたそのもの…
This mirror is your provisional vessel.
...and it's your...

ーーーー

き…
貴様は
you...
you bastard!!

017.jpg

んぐんん
ngunn

ぐちゅ
guchu

018.jpg

ほーら
はいどー
はいどー
Look!
Move!
Move!
はいどー？？？？？

うっ…
ugh

いーー
いたいっ…
It...
It hurts...

ーーーー

うっ
ugh

キャァァァ
kyaaaaa
*scream*

締まるっ！！！
I'll make it even tighter!!!

019.jpg

ーーって
スルーしないでよ！！
Don't ignore me!!

ーーーー

なんのこと
what's it about?

どー


ーーーー

前回の
最後の方の
コレっ
This is what I said the last time.

お前達…
You guys!

いくらなんでも
抵抗（ていこう）がなさすぎる
なにかたくらんで
ないか？
No matter how I look at this,
you guys are just too quiet,
aren't you planning something?

…あら
...oh

ごメーン
わすれてたぁ
Sorry,
we forgot.

ーーーー

ーーで
どうしょうって
ゆーんだよ
So, what are you planning to do?

020.jpg

もちろん
吐かせる（ぬかせる）のよ
それなりの方法で
Of course,
we will make them throw up.

それなりの
方法で
For now,

もう　みんな
Hごっこは十分
たのしんだでしょ
everyone had enough fun with this ecchi game, right?

ただら
今度は…
That's why,
this time...

フフフ
he he he

ーーーー

なら　それを
おしえてくれまで
もう一度
弄んで
あげますわ
In that case, let's play with them
one more until we teach them this.

パラパラ
がんばるー
PallaPalla, will do her best.

ーーーー

。。。

…もう
好きにして…
...honesty,
do as you wish...

犯り飽きたら（あきたら）
教えてね…
Do it till you pass out...

021.jpg

ダメェ
やめてっ！！
NO
stop!!

んひゃあ
my butt

オヒリ
がああんく
my butt ...

022.jpg

こっちも
激しく
いくぜェ！！
I'm going to do it roughly too!!

そら
そら
There! There!

んくああ！！
nhuu

なああああ
naaaa

023.jpg

ハア
haaa

ーーーー

気はすんだ？
Are you satisfied?

はーい
Yeees

つかれて
チンチンも
消えました
I'm so tired, that even my penis disappeared.

ーーーー

それじゃ
well then...

P３４へつづく
continuation on page 34

024.jpg-034.jpg

no text

035.jpg

???
INTERNAL there is something written here, but I don't get it due to a bad hand- writing

036.jpg

no text

037.jpg

いたか？
Is she here

どこだ！
Where is she!

わからん！
I don't know!

そっちじゃないか！？
Maybe she's there?

ーーーー

ちきしょう
ほたるめ！
damn it,
that Hotaru!

どこへ
隠れやがった
Where is she hiding?

…
…

どっち
だ！！
Which way!!

みつけたら…
I've found her!!

ーーーー

「ほたる狩り」
"Hunt for Hotaru"

ーーーー

ど…
どうして…
why...
why did...

こんな…
ことに…
it become...
like this...

038.jpg

あそこだ！！
She's over there!!

ーーーー

ーーーー

助けて！だれか！！
Help me!! Someone!!

039.jpg

no text

040.jpg

バカ
やろう
You idiot.

何やってん
だろ～
What are you doing?

これは
もう
だめだ
This one is no good.

あ～あ
Aah....

ーーーー

あっちに
もう一匹
いるぞ
There is one more over there.

いこ～
ぜ～
Let's
go!

ーーーー

ほたる…
Hotaru...(Firefly in English)
幻想的(げんそうてき）な光を放ち
人々に愛された昆虫（こんちゅう）である
is an insect loved by many people, releasing a wondrous light.
戦前はいたる所いたが
その生存には清浄（せいじょう）な水質を必要とし
It was found in many places during pre-war days,
but it requires a clean water to live.

河川（かせん）の汚染（おせん）が進んだ（すすんだ）現在。
Currently, rivers are getting more polluted.
ほとんど見られてなくなった。。。
That's why it's rarely seen...
物言わぬ（ものいわぬ）彼ら悲哀（ひあい）を
誰が知ろう……
Let's let everyone know about their unspoken sorrow...

終
end

041.jpg

no text

042.jpg

じゃあ隠してることを
話してもらおーかな
Well, then I'll have you tell me what you're hiding.

ーーといっても
素直に話しちゃ
くれないだろ
...even though I said that, you probably won't speak honestly.

ーーーー

ちょっと
苦しくてハズカシイ目を
みてもらしかないわね
In that case I'll let you experience a little bit of suffering and embarrassment.

ーーーー

ハズカシイ目は
もう十分に
みてるんじゃ
We've be doing enough humiliation to them already.

…そ
それじゃ
イタイ目に
well...
Well, then pain ...

それもすでに
We had that already...

じゃあ
もーっと
イタイ目にィ
In that case,
more, more pain!

ーーーー

却下（きゃっか）っ！！！
No way!!!

なんでェ
why?

あんたのイタイ目は
シャレにならない
からよっ！！！
Causing you pain wouldn't be funny even as a joke!!!

ーーーー

まあ
とりあえず
こんな所
かなーーーー
Well
Since we are already here...

第18話
chapter 18
宴（うたげ）のつづき
party continues

043.jpg

これ
なんだわかる？
Do you know what this is?

そして
これを入れられたら
どうなるか？
And what will happen when we insert this?

ーーーー

なに
この反応
What's up with this reaction?

もっと怯えたり（おびえる）
泣き叫んだり（なきさけぶ）
すると思った
のに
You should cry, scream and be more frightened.

わりと
慣れちゃ（なれる）
ってたり
するので
She 's already trained for this.

ーーーー

じゃあみんなで
タップリ
注入（ちゅうにゅう）して
あげましょう
Then with everyone's help we will inject plenty of it.

044.jpg

今度は
オレだぜ
Now it's my turn.

くっ
ku
*...!*

次は
私ですわ
Next turn will be mine.

ーーーー

あは
カエルみたーい
Ah, she inflated just like a FROG.
INTERNAL Verbs are often skipped in Japanese. So that's my best guess.

ーーーー

ほら
濡れ手出してるぞ
しっかり
絞めろよ
Hey!
You're leaking!
Squeeze your ass tighter!

ううっ
uff

045.jpg

ヒクヒクしてる所が
丸見えぇ（まるみえ）ーーー
We can see clearly that you're afraid...

さあ
音を上げるなら
今のうちだぜ
Come on!
If you want to give up, now is your chance.

ーーーー

それならば
もっと入れて
あげますわ
If not then I'll inject more of it.

ん。。。
n
*grun*

046.jpg

どうだ
How is that?

イタイか？
恥ずかしいか？
Did it hurt?
Are you embarrassed?

まさか感じちゃ
いないだろうな？
Not going to admit you love this?

ああ
Aah

い…た…
It...hurts...

どんどん入って
いきますわ
I'm slowly injecting more.

ほーらオモリも
もーっと
つけちゃうぞーー
Look!
I'm going to attach more weight!

047.jpg

イッツ
ショータイム
It's showtime.

ーーーー

猛獣（もうじゅう）使い
ジュンジュンの
ムチさばき
Beastmaster Jun Jun's whip punishment!

受けて
みなっ！！
Take that!

きゃあ
kyaa

ーーーー

いたっ
...hurts...

キャアァ
kyaaa
いやあああ
nooo

ーーーー

ほたるちゃん
ばかり
いじめないで！！
Don't torment just Hotaru!!

慌てなくても（あわてる）
あとでじっくり
遊んであげるよ
Don't worry so much, we'll take some time playing with you later!

048.jpg


キャアア
kyaaaa

ーーーー

もう一本
追加（ついか）
I'll attach one more

じゃあ
こっちにも
もう一本
Then, I'll add one more here too.

ーーーー
なに濡らし
てんの！？
Why are you leaking?

しっかり
締めてなさいよ！！
You must squeeze it tighter!!

049.jpg

まだ
濡れてじゃない！！
You are still leaking!!

痛っ！！
...hurts!!

ーーーー

なら
こーゆーのは
どう？
Then, how is it now?

ーーーー

このコを
ここに
置いとくのは
どう？
What if I put this girl here?

濡らすと
このコが
ウンチまみれに
なるわよ
When you leak you will get this girl covered with your shit.

ちっ
ちびうさちゃん
Chi-
Chibiusa-chan

ーーーー

ちびうさ
ちゃん…
Chibiusa-chan...

も…もう……
I...I can't...

ダメ…
anymore...

もう…ダメ……
hold it...anymore...

ゴメンなさい
ちびうさちゃん…
I'm sorry, Chibiusa-chan

ほたる
ちゃん…
Hotaru-chan...

050.jpg

あら？
Ah?
もう
出しちゃうの?
You are leaking already?

お友達の上に？
On top of your friend?

ち…
ちびうさ
ちゃん！！
Chi-...
Chibiusa-chan

ーーーー

でた
でた
It came out!
It came out!

たまやー
once more!

051.jpg

んあんあ
naanaaa

ちびうさ
ちゃん…
Chibiusa-chan...

ーーーー

ハハハ
汚ったなーい
hehhehe,
you are so filthy

やあ～
臭っさ～い
Wow!
It stinks...

これで素直に
話す気に
After all of that, will you talk honesty?

052.jpg

ーーーー

このくらい
That much

なんでこと
ないわよ
is not a big deal!

ーーーー

うっ
ugh

タロスか
こいつ
Is she Talos*?
(*Reference to a sardonic grin. Chibiusa is giving her captors a scornful smile to show being shit on by Hotaru doesn't phase her in the least.)

こいつら
思った以上の
絆（きずな）で結ばれて（むすぶ）
いるっ！！？
The bonds between them are stronger than I thought.

ーーーー

それも
あるけど
初めてじゃ
ないから
こーゆー目に
あうの
That is true, but it wasn't like that in the beginning; they became like this after that experience.

ーーーー

なら今度は
お前を痛めつけて
やる！！！
In that case, I'll torment you next!!

望む
ところよ
I'll do as you wish!

…ちびうさ
ちゃん…
...Chibiusa-chan...

ーーーー

もういいわ
…終わった
みたいだから…
It's alright now.
....It looks like it's over....

じゃあ
サターンが
Then, Sailor Saturn has...

ーーーー

何の話だ！？
What are you talking about?

どーゆー
イミっ！？
What do you mean?

私がこの空間にいれば
サターンにも
ここの様子がわかるし
入ってくることも
できるから
Sailor Saturn knows that I'm here (in this dimension); she know what is happening here and she can enter this place.


まさか
じゃあ…！？
Don't tell me, that...

053.jpg

今は
二人に分かれて
いるけど
Right now, I'm split into two people.

私たちはひとつ…
We will become one...

本来
一人だから…
Because, originally I was one person...

ーーーー

主（あるじ）の消滅（しょうめつ）すれば
その支配下（しはいか）にあるもの
また　消滅する
After eliminating the master, the territory under her control should disappear too...

ーーーー

しかし
この空間はまだ
安定（あんてい）している
However, this dimension is still stable.

これは
いったい
What in the world...

054.jpg

ーーーー

あなた
まだ…
You're still...

そうだ
わらわはまだ
封印（ふういん）もされてなければ
消滅（しょうめつ）もしてはおらぬ
That's right.
I won't disappear as long as the seal isn't broken.

ーーーー

つづく
to be continued

055.jpg

次回っ！
Next time!

それが
勝利の金建
だっ！！
This is the key to victory!!

ーーーー

あとがき
AFTERWORD

ーーーー

INTERNAL Maki Hideto(牧秀人)
INTERNAL Sawara Kazumitsu(佐原一光) 7 ?

Sawara:
　あとがきでございます
This is the afterword.

Maki:
　なんか、いつにもましてハードなスケジュールでした
ねぇ…
Somehow, the schedule this time was quite tough.

Sawara:
　今回こそは早めはやめでいくつもりでしたが　そも
そも、スケジュールそのものがつまっていたんじゃ
どーしようもないですから
This time, we were planning to finish this volume early.
However, the schedule was packed from the beginning.

Maki:
　とりあえず夏コミの前はこれ終わりですね
At least, we finished this book before this Summer Comiket.

Sawara:
　これから「サーティセイバー」のコピ一本つくりま
す…　今回こそはやる気になっててコンテまでは
終わっていたのに
From now on, we will make another book for the circle "Thirty Saver Street"...
INTERNAL "Thirty Saver Street" is a doujinnshi circle. [wikimoon.org] http://wikimoon.org/index.php?title=Thirty_Saver_Street
This time we are really motivated to make another book, even though the story for the script has ended.

Maki:
　この本を読んでいる方々の中にはご存知んじたい
方も多いと思いますが「セイバー」は少年創作（そうさく）系です
から　　　ほとんど即売会（そくばいかい）でしか発表していませんしね
I think that are many people not familiar with this series out of all people that read this book, because this work is intended for boys.
We hardly have any new publications for the exhibition and sale, right?

Sawara:
うちのサークル名も、もともとはこのシリーズを描い
てるからとつけたものだし
Even our circle started with the release of this series.

056.jpg

Sawara:
実際、しばらく中断(ちゅうだん）してしまったので
どーやって再開（さいかい）したものかと思っていたのですが　それっぽいネタが
思いついたのでやる気満々（まんまん）だったのに
Actually, we had a break for a while. We were thinking about restarting our work
somehow. Even though we had came up with the material and we were highly motivated.
Maki:
まあ、そんなものかも…　やる気があったといえば
結局　「トゥハート２」本かけませんでしたね
Well, it may have been like that... Speaking about motivation, in the end we didn't write "To Heart 2" book.

Sawara:
…無理…　　　アスカとほたるで手一杯…でした…
...that was impossible...We were busy with Asuka and Hotaru books.

Maki:
この調子じゃ「ガイキング「や「種死」も無理っぽ
いですね　冬まではあまり時間もないですから
We couldn't do "Legend of Daiku" and "Gundam Seed" books either,
because we are going to be busy until the Winter.

Sawara:
　ただ、すんごく描きたいのはあるのよ
I just really want to write it!

Maki:
　はいはい「なのは」のフェイトですね　さすがに
１０年前とくらべると　ほたるちゃん熱も下がってきてる
から、最近はほかのコにハマる間隔（かんかく）が短くなっているよ
うな
Yeah, yeah. That's just like fate of the "Nanoha" series.
As I though, when compared to 10 years ago, my passion for Hotaru-chan has decreased. Therefore, recently I've been finding more about other girls.

Sawara:
　うるさいー　あくまで予定は未定だけど、
Shut up! The schedule is undecided to the last moment.
いきなり即売会（そくばいかい）関係ナシにつくっちゃうかも　　
We may make something out of the blue not related to the exhibition.
秋のイベントは なにも申し込んでないしなあ
We don't have anything applied for the fall event.
　なのはやフェイトについてもいろいろ語りたい(かたり）ことはあるんあけど
まあそれは本を出せた時にとっときま
しょう
I have a lot to talk about "Nanoha" and fate and other stuff,
but, well, I'll talk about it once the book gets released.

Maki:
　あと、いつものうめさんだけど…　
We can also talk about Ume-san...
今回のもデビルマンネタって解釈（かいしゃく）でいいのかな？(草加君調）
Should I explain the "Devil Man" content?

Sawara:
本人からなんともいえないけど、だとしたらお祭りワッ
ショイまでいかなくてほんとうによかった(笑）
I didn't hear anything from him, in that case I'm looking forward to the next festival (smile).

Maki:
　あと最後に懺悔（さんげ）を一つ…５０ページ目で　チョンボを
やってしまいました…
There is also something that I need to confess...I made a huge mistake on page 50.


Sawara:
　あ！吊る（つる）されてる足が反応だ
Ah! I feel like I should hang you by your feet.

Maki:
　左右の手足が逆なのってミスはけっこうよくやってし
まいますが、さすがにこれはちょっと…ね…
I swapped left part of the body with the right one. That was quite a huge mistake.

Sawara:
　見開き(みひらき）で同じ構図（こうず）だけにさすがにわかっちゃいます
ね　大反省（はんせい）です
There was one more mistake, two opposing pages had the same composition. I reflected upon my mistake.

Sawara & Maki:
それじゃあ今回はゴメンなさいってところでしめさて
いただきます　まだ次回もよろしくです　じゃ
Well, we will end this with a word of apology.
See you until next time.
Until then...


057.jpg

おくづけ
Publication data

発行日　平成１8年8月13日 Release day: August 13th, 18 year in Hessei calendar
Release Date: 2006/08/13

発行人 牧秀人 佐原一光
Publisher: Maki Hideto, Sawara Kazumitsu

発行 サーティセイバーストリート
２Dーシューティング
Group: Thirty Saver Street 2D Shooting

Contact: Post 319-1222
Kushi, Hitachi, Ibaraki 3-18-8
Address to Satou Hiroshi or Sawara Kazumitsu
*Don't abbreviate anything.
*Send only sealed letters.

All persons younger than 18, please refrain.
Copies with missing pages or pages out of order will be replaced while supplies last.
Unauthorized reproduction of this work is forbidden. Just a warning. Mmkay?

058.jpg

no text

This post has been edited by Bloodmare: Jun 15 2012, 00:22

I already have the script for Silent Saturn SS vol.11 done, short of a few things. Not sure whether I should ask, or if I should just post the script and let someone else fix it, but anyways:

The narrator refers to 銀河の王 (ぎんがのおう), approximately "Galactic King", which I also couldn't find in the canon, can someone explain that reference?

This post has been edited by xenexegesis: Jun 13 2012, 19:56

While I wait for the reply to the above, here's my tentative script, and unless someone can give me the in-universe explanations for the above questions, I guess this'll be the final script pending whatever editing Red_Piotrus wants. Comments, suggestions, criticisms, and pointing out mistakes are always welcome:

[www.mediafire.com] http://www.mediafire.com/?c213b7pwb5w2cp3

CODE

(C75) [Thirty Saver Street 2D Shooting (Maki Hideto, Sawara Kazumitsu)] Silent Saturn SS vol. 11
Japanese-to-English Translation by xenexegesis
Raw Source: http://g.e-hentai.org/g/76347/5ec8dd11be/

New pages are represented by triple newlines and are marked by file name.
New panels are represented by double newlines.
New speech bubbles are represented by newlines.


-006.jpg-
○　マンガ　牧秀人　　　　　　 　７～
　　　　　　佐原一光
○イラスト　佐原一光　　　　 　２６～
○イラスト　夜逃げ屋の恭さん 　２８～
○イラスト　うめさん　　　　　　　 ４０～
○　マンガ　牧秀人　　　　　　 　４４～
　　　　　　　佐原一光

表紙．　裏表紙
　原画　牧　秀人
　着色　佐原一光
-        Manga:  Maki Hideto    　   7~
                 Sawara Kazumitsu
- Illustration:  Sawara Kazumitsu   26~
- Illustration:  Yonige-ya No Kyou  28~
- Illustration:  Ume                40~
-        Manga:  Maki Hideto        44~
                 Sawara Kazumitsu

Cover. Back cover
Original Art: Maki Hideto
Coloring: Sawara Hazumitsu


-007.jpg-
第２１話　囚われのちびムーン
Chapter 21: Chibi Moon, Captured

サターン！
サターン！！
Saturn!
Saturn!!

ネヘレニアーッ！！
Nehelenia!!

ペガサスッ！！
いや！　エリオス－－－っ！！！
Pegasus!!
Or should I say... Helios!!!


-008.jpg-
これまでのお話
The Story Thus Far

デットムーンに捕らわれアマゾネスカルテットから責め抜かれるほたるとちびうさ
二人を助けるため侵入試みた内部セーラー戦士たちだったが、ネヘレニアの作り出した幻想に翻弄されしたいに
エナジーを吸収されてしまう
さらに、マーキュリー達より遅れて侵入したセーラームーンと外部太陽系戦士達は、内部戦士のエナジーでつく
られた傀儡人形に足止めを食らう
一方、サーカステントの外に待機する土萌教授、カオリナイト、ペガサス、元ダイモーンのサイレントバスター
ズの面々は海王家の外では急速にエナジーを消耗するペガサスをマルチ（マルニ）の中にいれることで問題を解
消して突入の機会を窺っていた
さらに、ネヘレニアの潜む暗黒の鏡の間にたどり着いたセーラーサターンはネヘレニアのこの世界での本体とも
言える鏡を打ち砕く
Chibiusa and Hotaru, under the relentless assault of the Amazoness Quartet, are captured by the Dead Moon.
To save these two, the Inner Sailor Warriors attempt to mount an attack, but were caught in an illusion of Nehelenia's creation; and, out of mercy, were drained of their energy.
Further, Sailor Moon and the Outer Solar System Warriors, whose attack came after that of Mercury and the others, are suppressed by puppets created from the energy of the Inner Warriors.
Meanwhile, outside of the Circus Tent on standby are Professor Tomoe, Kaolinite, Pegasus, and the former-Daimon Silent Busters, who dealt with the problem of Pegasus' rapid consumption of energy from being outside of the Kaiou house by placing him inside of Multi (Mul-two), as they wait for an opportunity to attack.
Further, while Nehelenia was lurking within her dark mirror, Sailor Saturn arrives and smashes the mirror, the object which physically represents Nehelenia herself in this world.

さっきの攻撃で開いたネヘレニアの居る鏡の間へつづく次元の穴はすでに閉ざされてしまっています
みなさんでは中に入ることも
That attack from earlier opened up a hole to the dimension within which Nehelenia's mirror resides, but it's already gone.
Along with everyone who has entered it.

させないぞ！！
アマゾネスカルテット参上ですわん！！
あなたら全員やっつけちゃうんだから―
－－－ってゆーか　ここで手柄たてとかないと後々大変そうだしナ
We won't let you!!
We, the Amazoness Quartet, are stepping up to the stage!!
We're gonna beat down every single last one of you...
...Or rather, we'd better get this done here or it'll be problematic later on.

そんな訳だから　ここから先は通うさないわよ
意地でもね
And so, with that said. You won't be getting past us.
No matter what you say.


-009.jpg-
はたる〔ママ〕の波動を受けたサターンは見事暗黒の鏡を打ち砕くとに成功はした…
が、暗黒の女王ネヘレニアはまた滅びではいなかった
世界の破滅と再生を司っていたサターンではあるが　彼方から迫る銀河の王の存在を感じる今、世界を滅ぼし一
時的にせよセーラー戦士不在の状態は作れない
サターンは必殺の一撃を振るえないとみるや　すでに現世にて実態化するほどの力を蓄えていたネヘレニアは　
サターンに対し反撃に出た
虜となりエネルギーを吸収され　無数の触手に陵辱されるがままのサターン
しかしあまりに無策、無抵抗なその姿ニネヘレニアは疑問をもつ　そしてそれはペガサスの出現という形で現実
のものとなった
ペガサスに救われ共に駆けつけたほたるはサターンに駆け寄せる
ゴールデンクリスタルをもつペガサス　だが今の力を蓄えたネヘレニアにはたして対抗できるのか？　そしてサ
ターンの真意はどこのあるのか？
ついにこの戦いにも決着の時が近づいてきていた
Saturn, having received Hotaru's power, successfully smashes the dark mirror in brilliant fashion...
But, the dark queen Nehelenia escapes annihilation once more.
Though Saturn is the one who directs the destruction and rebirth of the world, now that she senses the approaching presence of the distant Galactic King, and unable to ensure the Sailor Warriors are outside the devastating range of her ultimate attack, she cannot call to her destructive powers.
Nehelenia, having amassed sufficient power to manifest in the present world, sees that Saturn cannot withstand her attack, and unleashes her counter-offensive against Saturn.
Absorbing the energy of her captive, she proceeds to humiliate Saturn with countless tentacles.
However, seeing Saturn in such a state of passivity and submission, Nehelenia begins to have her doubts.  And it is then that Pegasus materializes to her rescue.
Saturn, having been saved by Pegasus, also finds Hotaru coming to her aid.
Can Pegasus, who holds the Golden Crystal, oppose Nehelenia, now charged with her immense powers?  And what does Saturn truly desire?
We finally approach the conclusion of the final battle.

もうやめるんだネヘレニアっ！！
エリオス！？よもやっ！！！
Stop this already, Nehelenia!!
Helios!? How dare you!!!


-010.jpg-
あくまでわらわに逆らうかっ！？
どうあってもわらわのものとなることを拒絶するのかーっ！！？
You intend to disobey me!?
You would reject my supreme rulership!!?

それ以前の問題だ！　世界を己が思いだけで支配しようとする者に与えられるものなどなにもないっ！！
That's a question with an answer long past!  The only thing that awaits one who would seek to bend all the world to their will, is nothingness!

口惜しい…　口惜しいぞエリオスっ！！
That's a shame...　That's a shame, Helios!!

もうよい　おまえもろとも全て消し去ってくれるわーっ！！
Enough! I shall wipe you out along with the others!!

サターン！
目をあげてサターン！
Saturn!
Wake up, Saturn!

ん…
Mm...


-011.jpg-
うぐっ
Ugh!

ここまで力を蓄えている！？
ゴールデンクリスタルの力…　出し惜しみはできないか・・・っ！？
She's accumulated this much power!?
Can I afford to hold back using the power of the Golden Crystal any longer!?

今　ゴールデンクリスタルの力を使ってはいけない
You mustn't use the power of the Golden Crystal now.

サターン・・・　・・・なのか？
Is this... Saturn?

今　戦いでゴールデンクリスタルの力を使ってはいけない
その力はこの空間を脱出するために
You mustn't use the power of the Golden Crystal for this fight.
That power must be used to escape from this space.


-012.jpg-
どーゆーことです？
What do you mean?

今　このサーカス小屋内部の異次元空間にはセーラームーンをはじめ全てのセーラー戦士・・・
加えて教授やダイモーンの協力者までがいる
As of now, the alternate dimension within this Circus houses Sailor Moon and all the other Sailor Warriors...
Along with the Professor, as well as those who support the Daimon.

だから私は破滅の力を使えなかった
破滅の力っ！？
That is why I did not use my Power of Destruction.
Power of Destruction!?

幸い　このサーカス小屋内部空間の中でも最も深いここ・・・
通常空間から＿＿された最深部なら
破滅の力を使っても世界を滅ぼすことはない・・・　が・・・
Fortunately, we are in the furthest depths of the inner space within this Circus...
Normal space is far separated from this place.
Even if I were to use my Power of Destruction here, the world will avoid annihilation... But...


デッドムーンそのものはすべて消滅してしまうでしょう
なっ
The entirety of the Dead Moon itself would likely be destroyed.
Wha-


-013.jpg-
私がネヘレニアの隙をつくる
その時にあなたは全力でこの空間を抜け出し内部にいる全員を外に
I will create an opening for you against Nehelenia.
When I do, I want you to use your full power to pull everyone away from this space and place them outside.

君は。。。どうする
But... What will you do?

さっきの一撃・・・　あれはボクをココへ導くためのもの・・・
今の話を伝えるためだけにボクをここへ呼んだとは思えない・・・
The attack from before... That was a signal to guide me here...
I don't believe I was led here only to relay to you this information...

ほたるちゃん・・・　・・・だね？
It's Hotaru... Isn't it?

・・・まさか君は！？
Don't tell me, you're...!

なにをコソコソと囀っているのか知らんが無駄なことよ！！
それにこちらにはまだカードがあることをわすれてはいないか！！
I don't know what drivel you're murmuring over there, but it's useless!!
Besides, I hope you haven't forgot that I still have a trump card!!


-014.jpg-
この小娘のことをな！！
すでに他のセーラー戦士共も我　手中にあるが
By that, I mean this little girl!
Soon, I shall even have the rest of the Sailor Warriors within the palm of my hands,

お前たちにとってこいつはとびきり特別な存在のようだからな
But amongst the lot of you, this one seems to be the special one, superior to the rest.

そしてこいつは我が与えた夢まぼろしの中・・・
おまえたちが味わったがごとき幻想の中にいる
And to her, I have bestowed the dream of illusions within which she is trapped...
The same of which many of you have tasted.

ん・・・
いや・・・
いやあ・・・
こないでえ
Ugh...
No...
Don't...
Don't come here.


-015.jpg-
キャア
Kya

助けてえ　うさぎい！　みんなあ！！
Save me, Usagi!  Everyone!!

んぐっ
んぐっ
Nghh
Nghh


-016.jpg-
いやああっ
Noooo

んぎしっ！！
んぎしゃああ
Uugh!!
Ughaa


-017.jpg-
恐怖の暗示は精神のみならず　肉体をも 支配する
The inception of fear not only controls the mind, but also the body.

ん・・・くっ
はたしてどこまで耐えられるか見物ではないか　こやつの本体かな！！
Ngh...gh...
I should be pleased to see how much longer she'll last with that body of hers!!

ハハハハ
Hahahaha

入らないでえ～っ！！
ダメ　ダメエエ
Don't go inside me!!
No... Nooo!!


-018.jpg-
んきｓひゅっ
ああ
Nngh
Aah

入らない…
もう　入らない・・・
んぎやああああ
No more...
No, I can't fit anymore...
Ugaah!


-019.jpg-
やだあ～～～っ！！
広がっちゃう～～～っ！！
あそこ…　おしりの穴ぁ～～～っ！
Please, no!!
You're stretching me!!
Down here... My butt hole!

痛っ！！　やあああっ！！！
It hurts!!  No!!!


-020.jpg-
ハア
ハア
Haa
Haa

あっ
Aa

もうゆるして
いやああ　やめてえ
Please, let me go.
Noo, no more!


-021.jpg-
キヤ
Kya

んぐああ
Nghhaa

んあっ・・・
あぁ・・・
Ngha...
Aa...


-022.jpg-
あーっ！！
Aaa!!

く・・・
Ugh...

ハア
ハア
最後の力で立ち上がったか
ならば望みどうり最後の悪夢を与えてやろう
Haa
Haa
So, you still stand against me with the last of your strength.
Then as you wish, I shall grant you your final nightmare!


-023.jpg-
すでに一度我　術中に落ちている　お前たちを再び虜にすることなど造作のないこと！
You've already fallen to my power before, it'll be no trouble at all to make you my slaves once more!

くっ
キャっ
Ugh
Kyaa


-024.jpg-
終りだ！！
全てのエナジーを搾り取られて
It's over!!
Extract every last bit of energy from them

消えろ！！
Begone!!

P４４へつづく
Continued on Page 44


-026.jpg-
んぐ・・・
んぐぐう・・・
Mmph…
Mmphph...


-040.jpg-
サターンは私が必要だから呼んだんじゃないの？
Saturn,　didn't you call me here because you needed me?
　
蛍（ほたる）…
お前には失望した…　帰れ
Hotaru...
You disappoint me...　Go home.

新土星紀　ホタルゲリオン
Neon Saturnesis Hotarugelion

ホタルを呼べ
いいのか？ホタルは…
コクピットに座れればいい
Call HOTARU.
Are you sure? HOTARU is...
I don't care, as long as she can sit in a cockpit.


-041.jpg-
あんな娘が・・・・！？
But isn't she just a little girl....!?

血・・・が・・・
It's... Blood...

――あたしが乗ります
...I'll pilot it!

LCL注入
大丈夫！　座ってレバーをにぎってればいいから
Injecting LCL.
Don't worry! It'll be fine as long as you stay seated and grip the lever.


-042.jpg-
ホタルゲリオン発進！！
Hotarugelion, take-off!!


-043.jpg-
終
The End.


-044.jpg-
んぎしゅうう
Ughh


-045.jpg-
ん・・・
破滅の戦士は小娘よりはたのしませておくれよ
Ngh...
I should hope that the Sailor Warrior of Destruction will entertain me more than a little girl.

ん・・・
んあっ・・・
Mm...
Mm-aah...

んく・・・
そのまま腹が裂けるまで注ぎこんでやろうか！？
Mmgh...
Should I keep swelling you up　until your belly splits open!?


-046.jpg-
圧力がどんどｎ体内を圧迫していくのがわかるであろう？
You can feel the pressure building up inside of your body, can't you?

うげっ
*Cough*
ゲホ
*Barf*

うげええ・・
ハア
ハア
＊Cough*
Haa
Haa

第２２話　破滅の力　サターンからサターンへ・・・
Chapter 22: The Power of Destruction - From Saturn to Saturn...


-047.jpg-
ハア
Haa

ハア
ハア
ハア
Haa
Haa
Haa


-048.jpg-
キャアァ
いやあぁっ
んぶっ
んぐっ
Kyaa
Noo
Mmph
Nngh

しめた
ほたるの意識体と接触できた
It tightened...
I'm making contact with Hotaru's consciousness.


-049.jpg-
いやああ
どうだい？自分自身の恥部の味と匂いはっ！？
Noo
How is it? The taste and smell of your own privates!?

んぐ
んん・・・
痛いっ！！
広げないでえ～～～っ！！
ああ
Ngh
Mm...
Oww!!
Don't stretch it open!!
Aah

ほれ　見やすくしてやったぞ
奥の奥までよく見えて味わってみよ！！
己の胎内などめったに見れるものではないだろうからな！！
いやああ～
Come on, I made it easier for you.
Now you can see and taste the depths of each others' bodies.
It's not every day you can see into your own womb after all!!
Noo


-050.jpg-
今　ここで私たちが本来の・・・
ひとつの姿となり破滅の鎌を振り下ろせば・・・
・・・でも・・・　それは・・・
Now, our original purpose...
To become one and the same, and to bring down the Scythe of Destruction...
...But... That would mean...

ほたるの心・・・
それの破滅・・・
たとえ短い間だったとはいえ　この時代に生まれはぐくんだ私の心・・・
The destruction...
Of Hotaru's heart...
Though it was only for a short while, my heart has grown from being born into this era...

パパ・・・
ちびうさちゃん・・・
たくさんの・・・　大切な人たち・・・
Papa...
Chibiusa...
So many... People I cherish...


-051.jpg-
いいの・・・
そうしてサターン・・・
It's okay...
And Saturn...

そのまま繋げてやろうぞ
Just like that, connect with me.

くっ
あっ
わたしにも　わかる・・・　わたしたちは本来一人なんだから・・・
あぁ
あっ！！！
Ugh...
Aa...
I can... Feel it too... Because we were originally one and the same...
Aa...
Aa!!!


-052.jpg-
ただ・・・　あなたは残って・・・
そしてこの戦いが終わったら
Now... You'll stay...
And when this battle is over...

パパの所に・・・
パパ達のいる家に帰って・・・　みんなとなかよく・・・暮らして・・・　ね・・・
Go back to Papa...
Go back to Papa's house... With everyone else... And live... Alright...?

・・・そ・・・
それは・・・
...But...
But I...

できない！！
I can't do that!!


-053.jpg-
ﾑﾘ・・・　ムリなの・・・
私には・・・　もうその力はない・・・
I can't...  I can't do it...
I... I don't have the power to do it...

なにっ！？
我が術を破ったじゃと！？
What!?
You broke through my spell!?

私では　私たちのパパの所に帰ることはできない
・・・でも
I... I can't go back to where Papa is.
...But

－－だけどあなたなら
今　私と一つの意思として繋がったあなたならわかるでしょ
その意味で
...But you can.
Now that you're connected to me as one, you should understand,
What I mean by that.


-054.jpg-
あたしが・・・戦えるの・・・
セーラーサターンとして・・・
I... I will fight...
As Sailor Saturn...

あなた・・・しだいよ
でも戦わなければならない　守りたい人がいるんでしょ
You... It's up to you.
But there's no choice except to fight. You have people you want to protect, don't you?

・・・うん
やれるだけのことはやってみます
そしてみんなを・・・
...Yes.
I'll try to do what I can.
And everyone will definitely...

ちがうわ・・・　やれるだけじゃない・・・
やるのよ　そのための・・・破壊と誕生の力なんだから
No... I won't just try to do it...
I WILL do it.  Because it was for this sole purpose... That I have the Power of Destruction and Rebirth.

悲しむことはないわ　あなたは私　私はあなた　これまでも　これからも　だから
がんばってね・・・
わたしの・・・　ほたる・・・
Don't be sad.  You are me, and I am you. Since the beginning, and until the end. So...
Do your best, alright...?
My one and only... Hotaru...


-055.jpg-
私はサターン・・・
破滅のサターン　
I am Saturn...
Saturn of Destruction...


-056.jpg-
あなたがこの世（せかい）で
最後に見るもの　サターンっ！！
The very last thing
You will ever lay eyes upon in this world　-- Saturn!!

つづく
To Be Continued...

ゴールデンクリスタル
次回っ！
これが勝利の鍵だっ！！
Golden Crystal
Next time!
This is the Key to Victory!!


-057.jpg-
光：サイレント・サターンシリーズの読者の皆様
　　大変ご無沙汰いたしました
牧：　今回は一年弱ぶりです
光：　そして今回はいつにも増しで難産でした
牧：　うめさんが急な引越しを余儀なくされたり　恭さんが冬コミ落ちたり　そしてこちらも急な印刷所の変更
に迫られたり・・・　　これも不況の影響でしょうか
牧：　実際　きょうさんの件以外はかなり不況の影響もありますが
光：　不況で引越しとかゆーと派遣切りとか連想してしまいますが不幸中の幸いとでもゆーかそこまでではない
ようですが引越しは大変そうでした　マニアはモノ溜め込むから
牧：　そして印刷所の変更もね
光：　長年お願いしていた所が例のコミケ出入り禁止食らっちゃったあそこでしたから
　　　付き合いも長かったし目力搬入っ手も考えたんですがとにかくもう納期を守れないってのが決定打に・・
・
牧：　納期の大福な遅れが三回連続、会場搬入の遅れが二回連続じゃあさすがに・・・
光：　ほんとうならオンリーイベントのリリカルマジカル用に出す予定だったストレージイグニッション５がと
っくに出ているハズだったんですが　今はどちらが先に出ることやらって感じですしねぇ
牧：　それで今回はPICOさんいお願いすることにした訳です
光：　すこし前に　「RPGカンパニー２」　さんから個人集をだしていただいた時の印刷所がPICOさんだったんで�
�それで　その時の印刷がすごくキレイだったんで一度お願いしてみようとは思っていたんですがまさかこんな�
�でとは・・・　　そんな訳なんで今回はいつにも増して本の出来上がりがたのしみです
光　牧：　それではまた次回の本でお会いいたしましょう　では
Mitsu:Dear readers of the Silent Saturn series
      It's been a long while.
Maki: This time it's been just short of a year.
Mitsu: And this time it's been even more difficult to deliver this work.
Maki: Ume suddenly needed to move but had no transportation, Kyou dropped out of the Winter Comiket, and we had the closing in of the deadline for our sudden change to another print shop... Is this perhaps the influence of the recession?
Maki: Currently, aside from the situation with Kyou, it seems that most of these were influenced by the recession.
Mitsu: Having to move in a recession brings the thought of layoffs to mind, so it may seem a blessing in disguise, that the situation isn't bad enough where you're outright laid off. But nonetheless, having to move is certainly no small thing. After all, our sorts of hobbies take up a lot of physical space.
Maki: Neither is having to change print shops.
Mitsu: Well, the place we've always counted on suddenly got hit with a publishing ban against Comiket authors. I thought about getting around it somehow, but anyways we gotta stick to our deadlines...
Maki: We've had great luck with that haven't we, with only three-times consecutive late submissions against the deadline.  And only two-times consecutive late arrivals to the booth is also, after all, quite impressive.
Mitsu: For the exclusive event, our planned Lyrical Magical release Storage Ignition 5 was supposed to be our especially timely release, but now it just feels like, whatever.
Maki: And this time we had Pico to help us out.
Mitsu: And a bit before that, the print shop that helped put out "RPG Company 2"'s personal collection was Pico's. And back then, I remembered thinking that their productions looked quite stunning and that I'd love to be patron to their services if only once, but to think that this would be the account on which we'd eventually seek out their services is a bit... Anyways, that's why I'm looking forward to the finished product on this particular release more than usual.
Both: With that said, let us meet again on our next release.  Bye!


-058.jpg-
おくつけ

発行日　 平成２０年１２月３０日
発行人　 牧秀人　佐原一光
発行　　 サーティセイバーストリート
　　　　　 ２D－シューティング

連絡先　〒３１９－１２２２
　　　　　茨城県日立市久慈町３－１８－８
　　　　　 佐藤博行方
　　　　　　 佐原　一光　まで

※省略しないでください
※ご連絡は封書でね

○１８歳未満の方はご遠慮ください
○乱丁．　落丁在庫のあるかぎりお取替えいたします
○無断転載はしないでくださいね　　とりあえず
　ご一報を
Colophon

Publish Date  2008 December 30
Publishers    Maki Hideto, Sawara Kazumitsu
Publication   Thirty Saver Street
              2D Shooting

Contact Address 〒319-1222
                Ibaraki Prefecture, Hitachi City, Kuji Town, 3-18-8
                Satou Hiroyuki
                      To Sawara Kazumitsu

*Please do not perform omissions.
*Seal all correspondence.

-Please keep away from those under 18 years of age.
-Books with misordered or missing pages will be replaced as inventory allows.
-Please do not reproduce without permission.  Anyhow
Please write us.

This post has been edited by xenexegesis: Jun 13 2012, 19:56

I think that script for vol. 9 could be polished more, but I'd prefer to have a native speaker do it.

Btw, once we are done with the SS series, I am thinking about a semi-permanent bounty for proofreading / corrections on existing volumes.

Script for volume 9 has just been polished, or at least as much as I could after a second read through. I'll do volume 11 later tomorrow.

Then when that's done, i'll knock it out while waiting on v10.

Proofreading v9 comments:

"PallaPalla and the rest of the Quartet captured Chibiusa and Hotaru, and while playing they began to like them" - I'd add ... at the end, as the next sentence begins with it

"Queen Nehelenia tried to draw out Pegasus by tormenting Chibiusa and Hotaru, but those two were fakes made and then handed over by the Amazoness Quartet." - missing "were" after "and then"? Or another verb?

"First of all, Pegasus-kun try entering, please." - I'd add a hyphen ("-") after Pegasus-kun, or a verb

"People that entered afterwords also struggled futilely against their copies." - afterward

"is an insect loved by many people, releasing a wondrous light." - I'd add a TL note about hotaru meaning firefly (IIRC)

"We've be doing enough embarrassment on them already." - I don't think on is the right word, to may be better? Or just use -ing form (embarrassing of them)

"Don't admit that it feels good?" - missing something, or needs rewording... just doesn't sound right

Proofreading v9 comments:

"PallaPalla and the rest of the Quartet captured Chibiusa and Hotaru, and while playing they began to like them" - I'd add ... at the end, as the next sentence begins with it

"Queen Nehelenia tried to draw out Pegasus by tormenting Chibiusa and Hotaru, but those two were fakes made and then handed over by the Amazoness Quartet." - missing "were" after "and then"? Or another verb?

"First of all, Pegasus-kun try entering, please." - I'd add a hyphen ("-") after Pegasus-kun, or a verb

"People that entered afterwords also struggled futilely against their copies." - afterward

"is an insect loved by many people, releasing a wondrous light." - I'd add a TL note about hotaru meaning firefly (IIRC)

"We've be doing enough embarrassment on them already." - I don't think on is the right word, to may be better? Or just use -ing form (embarrassing of them)

"Don't admit that it feels good?" - missing something, or needs rewording... just doesn't sound right

I'm a little confused on what you mean by that first line. The sentence is written: "PallaPalla and the rest of the Quartet captured Chibiusa and Hotaru, and while fooling around they began to like them...just as play toys." It's a complete sentence. I replaced 'play' with 'fooling around' though.

"Queen Nehelenia tried to draw out Pegasus by tormenting Chibiusa and Hotaru, but those two were fakes handed over by the Amazoness Quartet." - I just removed 'made and then' because it wasn't really needed. I should be implied that if you're reading this volume you must have read the last volume, and know that the fakes were made by the Quartet.

"Now Pegasus-kun - try entering, please." The sentence is a little boring with all the commas, so I changed 'first of all' to 'now' and then add the hyphen where you suggested.

Good catch on the afterwords error. (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/happy.gif)

I'd assume people reading this series know that Hotaru means firefly in English, but that's just me. I made a note about it in the edited script I posted.

"We've be doing enough humiliation to them already" Gah, I don't know what I was thinking when I edited that sentence.

"Don't admit that it feels good?" - I hated this line, but I couldn't think of how to re-write this. Does "Not going to admit you love this?" sound alright? It plays on how Hotaru lets Chibiusa give her enemas all the time.

Also, I put in the edited script I posted a meaning behind the Talos comment. It makes more sense now. The post I made with the edited script now has all these corrections on it too.

"Now Pegasus-kun - try entering, please." The sentence is a little boring with all the commas, so I changed 'first of all' to 'now' and then add the hyphen where you suggested.

I'd suggest not hyphen...at least, the way you've rewritten it, a comma is perfectly fine, IMO. I would suggest "Now Pegasus-kun, try entering, please." or "Now Pegasus-kun, please try entering."

This post has been edited by PeopleDon'tDanceNoMore: Jun 15 2012, 00:43

i finally found the time to look at the script for v9. here's the problems i found:

017.jpg:
two translations for 4 bubbles. not sure what to put where.
020.jpg:
"In that case, let's play with them
one more until we teach them this."
What's that supposed to mean? doesn't make much sense to me. (what does the "this" refer to e.g.)
021.jpg:
3 translations, 4 bubbles, i know where the "NO stop!!" goes, not sure about the rest
022.jpg:
not sure about the two bubbles near the bottom (again only one translation left for both)
035.jpg:
still missing the translation
042.jpg:
"Causing you pain wouldn't be funny even as a joke!!!"
what context does this come from? doesn't make sense /me thinks.
052.jpg:
does "they became like this after that experience" refer to an event in the previous chapter(s)? if so, i'd put the "that" in italics or something like that.

i'll use "Now Pegasus-kun - try entering, please" on 010.jpg. i've played around with the variations and this fits the bubble the best. apart from that, here are the changes i made to the script myself (based on bloodmares corrected version). i rewrote a few things, because it sounded better imo, and stuff like that. as i said before, i'm not a native speaker, so someone should review my changes. thanks.

007.jpg:
We are looost~~ -> I'm looost! (so it's the same as in the previous volume)

008.jpg:
just as play toys -> as toys (never heard the expression "play toys" before, i only know toys or playthings, but i'll gladly let myself be corrected there (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
However, the evil Queen demanded that they hand over those girls as soon as possible. -> However, the evil Queen demanded, that they hand over the two girls as soon as possible. (makes it clearer, who the narrator is talking about, i think)
After having gone through all the trouble, they refused to hand over their new play toys. -> They refused to hand over their new toys, that they had obtained after so much trouble. (as there is no reference to what trouble is meant)
The fight between actors gathered inside is rapidly heading towards demise. -> The fight between the actors gathered inside is rapidly heading towards demise.

009.jpg:
Chapter 17 "Inside Mirror" -> Chapter 17 "Inside The Mirror"

010.jpg:
to make him/her Pegasus's host. -> to make them Pegasus's host.

012.jpg:
They're struggling with phantoms that have no real bodies -> They are struggling with the phantoms that have no real bodies (because of context from previous page)

013.jpg:
People that entered afterward also struggled futilely against their copies. -> Those, that entered afterward also struggled futilely against the copies. (moon and the outers are tormented by copies of the cores, not their own, see 007.jpg)

014.jpg:
Take away those two from those brats, quickly! -> Take those two away from those brats, quickly!

019.jpg:
what's it about? -> About what? (as a reaction to "don't ignore me")

042.jpg:
We've be doing enough humiliation to them already. -> We have humiliated them a lot already. (sounds less forced, i think. if not, it should be "we've been" at least (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)
We had that already... -> We had that, too... (fits the conversation better imo)
In that case, more, more pain! -> In that case...more, more pain!
party continues -> "The party continues"

043.jpg:
And what will happen, when we insert this? -> And what will happen, when we insert it? (because of the previous bubble calling it "this" already)

049.jpg:
When you leak you will get this girl covered with your shit. -> When you leak you will get her covered with your shit. (this girl already in the previous bubble)

052.jpg:
Sailor Saturn knows that I'm here (in this dimension); she know what is happening here and she can enter this place. -> Sailor Saturn knows that I'm here. She knows what is happening and she can enter this place.

055.jpg:
This time, we were planning to finish this volume early. -> This time, we were planning to finish the volume early. (too many "this" in here)
At least, we finished this book before this Summer Comiket. -> At least, we finished the book before this Summer Comiket. (same as above)
I think that are many people not familiar with this series out of all people that read this book, because this work is intended for boys. -> I think that many people reading this book are not familiar with the series, because this work is intended for boys. (or maybe "for males"?)

056.jpg:
Even though we had came up with the material and we were highly motivated. -> Even though we had come up with the material and were highly motivated.
in the end we didn't write "To Heart 2" book. -> In the end we didn't write the "To Heart 2" book.
We were busy with Asuka and Hotaru books. -> We were busy with the Asuka and Hotaru books.
We couldn't do "Legend of Daiku" and "Gundam Seed" books either -> We couldn't do the "Legend of Daiku" and "Gundam Seed" books either
That's just like fate of the "Nanoha" series. -> That's just like the fate of the "Nanoha" series.
I swapped left part of the body with the right one -> I swapped the left part of the body with the right one
See you until next time. -> See you next time.

here's the complete script with all changes, does include some minor fixes too (punctuation, etc.):  ssv9_r3pt1le.txt ( 30.52k ) Number of downloads: 14

I'm a little confused on what you mean by that first line. The sentence is written: "PallaPalla and the rest of the Quartet captured Chibiusa and Hotaru, and while fooling around they began to like them...just as play toys." It's a complete sentence. I replaced 'play' with 'fooling around' though.

I agree, fooling around sounds better.

"Queen Nehelenia tried to draw out Pegasus by tormenting Chibiusa and Hotaru, but those two were fakes handed over by the Amazoness Quartet." - I just removed 'made and then' because it wasn't really needed. I should be implied that if you're reading this volume you must have read the last volume, and know that the fakes were made by the Quartet.

"Now Pegasus-kun - try entering, please." The sentence is a little boring with all the commas, so I changed 'first of all' to 'now' and then add the hyphen where you suggested.

Good catch on the afterwords error. (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/happy.gif)

I'd assume people reading this series know that Hotaru means firefly in English, but that's just me. I made a note about it in the edited script I posted.

"We've be doing enough humiliation to them already" Gah, I don't know what I was thinking when I edited that sentence.

"Don't admit that it feels good?" - I hated this line, but I couldn't think of how to re-write this. Does "Not going to admit you love this?" sound alright? It plays on how Hotaru lets Chibiusa give her enemas all the time.

Also, I put in the edited script I posted a meaning behind the Talos comment. It makes more sense now. The post I made with the edited script now has all these corrections on it too.

Nice changes (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Have you edited the file for volume 9?

I'm going to post volume 10 translation in about 2 days. Sorry, I had to take care of non hentaiverse project. Now, I'll have all the time I need next 7 days to finish all translations (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

This post has been edited by piotr012: Jun 25 2012, 10:50

since there hasn't been a reply in a while: is anyone taking care of the problems i mentioned in my last post? i'd like to finish volume 9 at some point (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)

It seems people are not interested anymore? We're close to finishing the series...

It seems people are not interested anymore? We're close to finishing the series...

What's needed?

If you just need an editor rather than a translator then I can handle that no problem.

What's needed?

If you just need an editor rather than a translator then I can handle that no problem.

I could do this series if no one else is doing it. I emailed Red_Piotrus.

Thanks, but we do have an editor for this (r3pt1le). I think what we are waiting for are translator (piotr's) comments to r3pt1le's questions.

@firejiki: if piotr is time pressed, as it seems, I think volume 10 may be a good project, but first I'd like to make sure he has not started to work on it. If we hear nothing here for a day or two, I'd say volume 10 would be good to go for translation.

EDIT: since from what I hear piotr012 may be on extended break from us after all, we would probably need a new translator to take a look at the remaining issues with vol.9, or publish it as it is.

This post has been edited by Red_Piotrus: Jul 7 2012, 16:27

Thanks, but we do have an editor for this (r3pt1le). I think what we are waiting for are translator (piotr's) comments to r3pt1le's questions.

@firejiki: if piotr is time pressed, as it seems, I think volume 10 may be a good project, but first I'd like to make sure he has not started to work on it. If we hear nothing here for a day or two, I'd say volume 10 would be good to go for translation.

EDIT: since from what I hear piotr012 may be on extended break from us after all, we would probably need a new translator to take a look at the remaining issues with vol.9, or publish it as it is.

Sure, if you allow me to do volume 10, then I'll help you with fixing the remaining issues with the previous volume.

Sounds like a plan, particularly given the silence from piotr012. Enjoy the series!

I'll probably be busy with other stuff so I won't be up-to-date with the progress of he next script, so just let me know when the 10th script is completely done and I'll work right through it.