See how I set you up for that one? I started it and you finished the joke. Very good. Very Funny. We should write our own radio show called Ham and Pickle. I was thinking about being Ham, but you don't have to be Pickle.
Alright, so I've been tossing around some ideas for our Radio show. I am assuming that I will be Pickle and you will be Ham. Pickle is more support where Ham is more aggression. Essentially, Ham will make the jokes and Pickle will laugh and compliment them by attempting to make a joke playing off of it.
Pickle: So, this is basically like having a conversation with my wife, 'Selective memory' bullshit, shut up.
Ham: Oh, I can't - I would love to get your wife on the phone.
Pickle: Nope.
Ham: Like, even anonymously. I just want to ask her 3 questions: How big is your dick, (Pickle laughs) How long do you last, -
Pickle: She doesn't have one; she doesn't last very long.
Ham: - And how frustrated does she get with your inability to retain information.
Pickle: Not very.
Ham: Bullshit. (Both laugh)
Pickle: It's just shtick for the show.
Ham: Then why do you do it off the show?
Pickle: For the shtick! I am trying to keep you immersed at all times. I am trying to be authentic. I don't want to take you out of the experience. All for you, buddy.
Ham: I have to imagine, like she just seethes, like when she looks at your stupid fucking face (both laugh) You - you walk out of your bedroom, everything around you is collapsing: your whole household is falling into shambles. Your kids got pulled out of public school because you want your wife to homeschool them, and it's like "I work 3rd shift so everybody has to pay attention to me(Pickle laughs) Everybody's schedule has to revolve around - get out of my chair, I have to watch cartoons. Don't talk to me. Hey," -
Pickle: I am pretty sure I said that exact same thing! "Get out of my chair, I gotta watch cartoons!" (laughs).
Ham: As you are tripping across the playboys and all the porno magazines just scattered across the floor like that time I went to your house -
Pickle: (quickly): We've switched to Hustler since.
Ham: And you've got stacks of vinyl everywhere, "don't touch the vinyl, NO you can't listen to that" -
Pickle (quickly): It's worth money. "THIS IS GOING TO BE WORTH MONEY SOME DAY!" (both laugh)
Ham: And then your wife says "Hey, did you remember to stop by after work and pick up.." I don't know, whatever, "my fucking IUD at Walgreens" or whatever you do. Pickle: My IUD?! and you say "Nah...I forgot."
Pickle: Yeah, that's one of my chores. (both laugh)
Ham: I don't even know how an IUD works.
Pickle: I don't either, but it's funny that that's what you came up with.
Ham: In my mind, if I had to draw an IUD, it would look like one of those plastic toothpicks with the dental floss spanned across it, and you just shove that up inside your pussy and you won't get pregnant.
Pickle: I thought an IUD was the one you plant into your arm.
Ham: I don't know.
Pickle: See, neither one of us know what the fuck we are talking about.
Ham: I thought it was just a plastic wishbone that you put in a vagina and nobody gets pregnant.
Pickle: I am being serious, I thought it was something about the size of a grain of rice that they embed into your arm.
Ham: Nope. "An IUD is an intrauterine device. It's a little T shaped piece of plastic that is inserted into the uterus as birth control." So, I was right.
Pickle: Yeah. Yeah, you had it more right than I did. What's that one that is a grain of rice that they toss in your arm then? Condom? (Both laugh)
Ham: Yes. What do I search, implantable birth control?
Pickle: Sure.
Ham: Defibrillator. (Both laugh)
I need to do more editing on like, pauses and mis-speaking if I want to make it read more authentically, but I decided to just hold back on it a bit so that it's more palatable during an initial read.
Edit: This is a section from the script that would be for around our 7th episode. Feedback is appreciated, though keep in mind with decent voice acting this script will be far better heard than just read.
This post has been edited by AhumanRS: May 7 2023, 01:24
That's as dumb as Mayorkas saying we have a secure border.
QUOTE
Mayorkas says Biden administration has targeted smugglers and is ready at the border
“The border is not open, it has not been open and it will not be open subsequent to May 11,” the Homeland Security secretary said about the lifting of Title 42.
That guy actually says that with a straight face. They should have lifted Title 42 on Cinco de Mayo.
Holy shit lol. That guy looks nothing like Hitler but at least he's not black. Are they speaking German? They spoke better German on Hogan's Heroes. But I laughed.
"I can't believe that forgetful old potato thinks he's going to be capable of running the US until 2029."
Jan 6 has gone full horse shoe and is now hilarious as multiple law enforcement agencies admit they had loads of undercover agents, informants, or employees encouraging the riot of the day. FBI, DOJ, Secret Service, and DC police.... like potentially 100-200+ now...
Someone told me this happened because I hadn't been watching the news and I actually gasped with fear and shock when I saw it. He must've been injured from that and bruised and in pain afterward.
He's a very feeble elderly man with dementia. That's part of the disease as it advances, they trip on things or just fall a lot then eventually lose the ability to walk and become an invalid. Then they reach the final stages of illness and death. He really needs to be put into a home.
Why did Biden fall like me when I want to pretend I tripped for a comedic effect "WOAH WOAH WOAHHH!!" (Slowly leans forward and lands on my hands and knees, then goes prone)
Let's Go, Brandon!, CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP
May 6 2023, 21:37
