script for
https://e-hentai.org/bounty.php?bid=11014 with corrections based on PureEnergy proofreading at the end (not incorporated into the main text, since the translator strongly prefers it that way...)
----
=1========
=2========
=3========
=4========
=5========
=6========
=7========
<P003>
A Certain Magical Lewd Index
-A certain Otaku Index-
#1
<P004>
A Certain Otaku Index #1
Index
Acertain Delinquent Lewd Index #1
Emperor Kich-xx-i (Kichi-i Teiou)
The other side of forgetting and reminiscing
Pudding (Purin)
===top===
Cover & original - Pudding
==bottom==
CG filling - Katana Smith (Katana Kaji)
<P005>
=box 1========
OK!
WE FOUND INDEX TAN!
THA' HELL! SHE'S STILL A KID!
=1.5========
THIS RAPE JOB'S GONNA BE EASY! THREE GUYS VS ONE --UTTY GIRL!
=2========
[A Certain Delinquent Index]
[Kitei]
{SFX} *shiver* *shiver*
W-who are you?
You all seem to all be dressed as incredibly dumb people...
<P006>
=1========
W-what is this all of a sudden!? Stop it!
=1 - mid left========
Let me go!
=1 - farleft========
Nooo! Stooop!
=1.5 - right========
Hmmm... She's grown well... right?
=1.5 - mid========
Big talk for a KID
=1.5 - left========
Delunquency is a type of Fashion-daze!
=2 - right========
You're realize that you're being polite while being raped?
{SFX} *smirk*
=2 - left========
No good lady, we will NOT stop, and we will NOT let you go!
<P007>
=1========
QUIT THRASHING YOU DAMN KID. HOLD HER DOWN!
If you don't stop I will get angry!
Lookie at the boobies!
=1.5========
{right side} Ok, now I'm gonna shove the good shit into you!
{mid} My habit is called the Walking Church, and will nullify all attacks! Weather physical or magica-
{left} For now should we pop out the boobs to start?
=2========
Yeah, yeah. Thank's for the explanation.
NOW SHUT UP!
=3========
AAAAHHH!
<P008>
=1========
I dunno about barriors or magic ya know!
I'm putting it in!
I- It HURTSSAAAAAAAA
=1.5========
{right side} It Hurts-a? What? Huh?
=4========
Made it to the womb enterance in one thrust!
<P009>
=1========
{mid} "Compared to a level 5 ESPer, the Shroud of Turin is but a piece of cloth."
=1.5========
{right}
Did you think we were lvl 0s?
{mid}
I'm level 99!
=2========
{bot right}
Daily Cartos 545 was it? (TN: not sure what this is again, been awhile since i watched raildex)
{mid right}
Index-tan! Grats on losing your hymen!
{Mid top}
What are you doing, p-please stop...
{Bot mid} -r}
Guess I'll take a happy snap for now.
{Bot mid} -L}
I will not stoppy-jaloppy!
(TN: yamemasen => mamema-sen-en as in 1000Y)
{left}
Stop taking pictures
<P010>
=1========
{right}
So I got your virgin Puxxy, can I also take your first kiss?
{mid right}
It hu-
{top left}
Ughhh, this xxxx pussy is sooo tight!
{bot}
It hurts!
=3========
{right}
Forced kiss!
{left} Nguuu!
<P011>
KISS, AAAND
<NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
CUMMING INSIDE!
OOOHHH
CUMMING!
It's HOT INSIDEEEE! IT'S COMING IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN
CUM's GOING IN
<P12>
First rape and first kiss saved!
{top mid}
REACH HER WOMB MY...
{board of 1st and 2nd right panels}
Bloods coming out! So gross! Haha
{bottom right}
CUMMING
{left margin}
COSMO!* (TN: written "special cum")
{bottom left}
Nooooo! It feels gross!
<P13>
{right top}
??? PUSSY IS THE BEST! (TN censored)
{2nd from right top}
The inside of the vagina is going Kyu Kyu and sucking in the sperm!
{sfx bubbles x3} *Glorp*
{bottom right} My D*ck is going in right to the hilt into this va***a.
{2nd from bottom right} Cumming!
{3rd from bottom right} Cumming!
{boarder of bot left and top}
Stop... Take it ou...
{thought bubble}
How... can a... person who isn't even part of magic Cabel...
<P14>
Hey! Hey! No time to savour the swelling from losing your hymen!
{2nd from mid right}
I'll slam my d*ck into the back in no time!
{top} Such a cute ass!
{bot right}
This flesh feels like you were born to be done in the pu**y
{left top}
Stop now please!
{bot left}
Don't enter my special place any more!
<P15>
Now that I can't do. For now I'm going in!
I'll slam in up to the hilt!
IT HURTSSSSAAAAA
{mid right} You're horrible! Stop!
{bot mid} I keep asking you to stop. This just too horrible.
{left} Gratz on doing it from behind!
{camera SFX bot mid} SNAP
>P16>
Right!
Without mercy!
Cumming inside!
AGAIN!?
DON'T CUM INSIDE! IT FEELS GROSS!
{bot right} Sorry but it feels so goooood!
CUMMING
{bot 2nd from left} IT'S HOT!
{bot left} It's coming out inside my vagina!
<P17>
==1==
Haaaah! Loli-pu**y feels so guuuuud!
Hey hey! Even if it IS all tight, that was a bit fast!
Since when did she get the loli attribute?
==2==
{SFX} *DOKU* *DOKU*
{top right}
I dun like lolis tho!
{bot right(index)}
Ahh, It's flowing in from my butt...
{top left}
I ALSO like lolis!
{bot left}
Don't let it out inside my vagina!
<P18>
{TOP}
Haa, I let it all out.
You're not very being grown up around this kid.
Can't be helped. This is a job after all.
{right 2}
Look! My special thick seamen is dripping from her pu**y. It's doing our job well!
{left 2}
We gotta take some thrusting pics!
Shiiit. Gross, but goooood job!
>P19<
Alriiiight!
I'm sure three people for your first rape is tough, but let's keep going!
Stop it already please! Take your dirty hands off me!
{bot right}
You're fine if you can still say such rude stuff ey?
{bot left}
Now I'm gonna dirty YOUR pu**y for treating people like they're bacteria!
<P20>
HOZZAT?
It's Index-tan's M shaped legs!
No!
I can't anymore!
{right} HNNNNNGGGG
{thought bubble}
I... after treating me roughly, they're taking photos of me.
{left}
Whoaa! This is such an awful ?? pu**y skewer!
{bot}
NICE M LEGS!
<P21>
What is your objective by doing this?
If you're after my 103,000 grimoires...
Then doing this is pointless.
{top mid}
No! It has meaning!
{left}
We are raping a loli pu**y to fertilize it!
{right mid} Fer-
{right bot} FERTALIZE!?
{left} I DON'T WANA GET PREGNANNNNTTT!
<P22>
=1========
Oh ho ho~? Are your titties getting hard?
Dont tell me, the top secret church of the cross's impervious guard barrior,
=2========
IS FEELING GOOD IN HER PU**Y FROM BEING RAPED?
N-NOO! THAT'S COMPLETELY NOT TRUEEEE!
=3========
Raped so easily...
capitulating...
YOU PEOPLE!
WHO ARE YOU.
<P23>
=1========
You will become pregnant and abase the church's dignity.
{below that}
DON't HIDE YOUR TITS!
{left top} I don't want it! Help me~
{far left} CUMMING
=2========
I'm cumming now
=3========
You're tits are fully erect despite being Virgin rape'd right now.
{between all 3 panels} Get pregnant! Index-tan!
=4========
Cumming!
<P24>
Pregnant...
Pregnant... Don't want...
{left top}Celebrating Index-tan's first rape and creampie with her personal info.
{left mid}We'll upload the fuck pics later.
{left bot}All you stupid church guys don't forget to print them out!
{SFX clockwise from top}
GOPU GOPU BYUKU GOPUN BYUKU
General corrections:
pussy spelled differently in various places
?? p
xx p
xxxx p
p*ssy
pu**y
puxxy
it could help to make all these the same spelling either xx or ?? or xxxx and u = * or ss = **
i believe the word before it is usually meant to be shojo = girl or loli = loli but since they actually say loli i think it should be the former
<P8>
=1========
I dunnot about this barriors and magic shit.
to
=1========
I dunno about barriors or magic ya know!
<P15>
{bot mid} I keep saying this, but you're so horrible. Too horrible.
to
{bot mid} I keep asking you to stop. This just too horrible.
<P24>
{left bot}All your church guys don't forget to print them out!
to
{left bot}All you stupid church guys don't forget to print them out!
<P32>
#1.5
"think" to "thing"
<P37>
The tiny p*ssy is being opened up by this device. Poor Index.
to
Her tiny.....etc...
<P47>
Even if index's memories are erased, I'll give this to you efvery your with your p*ssy.
to
Index, even if your memories are erased, I'll continue to do your p*ssy every year.
as a rule, assume that anything not mentioned here is an acceptable tweak
<P006>
=1.5 - right========
this
------(1) "well-grown"(shapely/mature) or
=1.5 - left========
da-ze is a "gobi" a sentence tail. it is expressed as a tone in english and can be left out in TL if you don't care about expressing the sense of how the character said a certain word. doing so can make it confusing to the reader so i like best to leave it in for experienced doujin readers to figure out
tl;dr "what does desu mean" is a pointless question so you can include or remove depending on preference
<P13>
---How... can a... person who isn't even part of Magic Cabel...
i believe this is correct since the kanji say magical company but the pronounciation is this english phrase
<P15>
{bot mid}
I keep asking you to stop. This just too horrible.
---I keep asking you to stop. This is just too horrible.
no, the pidgin-like english is a typo. your correction is good.
>P19<
{bot right}
You're fine if you can still say such rude stuff ey?
---You're fine if you can still say such rude stuff, ey?
---You're fine if you can still say such rude stuff, hey?
------comma needed... typo...?
comma ok. "ey?" not a typo. " 'ey?" optional abbv comma = OK
<P21>
What is your objective by doing this?
---What is your objective in doing this?
---What are you after in doing this?
------proper preposition... or tweak...
i like this. GJ
<P22>
=1========
Dont tell me, the top secret church of the cross's impervious guard barrior,
---Don't tell me, the top-secret, Church of the Cross, impervious guard-warrior,
------typos... caps needed... commas needed...(but I'm not sure if the "Church of the Cross" is 'top-secret', or if she - the 'impervious guard-warrior' - is...)
maybe:
Dont tell me... that the top secret church of the cross's impervious guard barrior,
as in
Dont tell me, impervious guard barrior on the top secret church of the cross' ,
alt:
bubble1: The top secret barrier which the Church of the Cross was so proud of
bubble2: was so easily broken
^-- i vaguely remember I didnt want to use this form because its embarrassing and a meme. however, there is no mention of 'warrior' so watch out. barrier refers to her clothes having a barrior placed on them.
P23>
=3========
You're tits are fully erect despite being Virgin rape'd right now.
---Your tits are fully erect despite being Virgin-rape'd right now.
---Your tits are fully swollen despite being Virgin-rape'd right now.
------typo... (If "Virgin raped" is a condition, or a 'style', then it needs a hyphen as a compound word... tweak('tits' don't get 'erect' like a dick does, but they can swell up/engorge...)
even if tits cant get erect, the word he used is the same. in this case the word was written without kanji and in katakana which suggests the speaker isnt paying attention to propper grammar. Though that's not to say the word is wrong in Jp. Just that he is 'spitting it out'
<P39>
{mid}
Drink, and never forget the taste of Stiyl the magician's special thick semen!
---Drink, and never forget the taste of Stiyl-the-Magician's special thick semen!
---Drink, and never forget the taste of the special thick semen of Stiyl the Magician!
---Drink, and never forget the tasty special thick semen of Stiyl the Magician!
---Drink, and never forget the special taste and thick semen of Stiyl the Magician!
------tweaks...(if "Stiyl the Magician" is used in a mid-sentence position, it has to be hyphenated...if it's used at the end of the sentence, it can be left unhyphenated...)
drink comes at the end of the JP sentence but this is ok too. some stuff going on here so ill leave the lit TL and let you decide
lit. Sorceror Stiyl's special thick semen! So (you) can't forget, taste and drink!
<P47>
yes those were typos
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RESPONSES TO CORRECTIONS===================================================
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as a rule, assume that anything not mentioned here is an acceptable tweak
<P006>
=1.5 - right========
this
------(1) "well-grown"(shapely/mature) or
=1.5 - left========
da-ze is a "gobi" a sentence tail. it is expressed as a tone in english and can be left out in TL if you don't care
about expressing the sense of how the character said a certain word. doing so can make it confusing to the reader
In English (books and comics), the way a certain word is pronounced is usually conveyed by using bold or italics fonts; ellipses or hyphens, or rarely, a different font - as well as the structure of the sentence itself. Of course, in comics, the artist can convey information by facial expressions, 'body language' and gestures...but that's about it...
so i like best to leave it in for experienced doujin readers to figure out
tl;dr "what does desu mean" is a pointless question so you can include or remove depending on preference
<P13>
---How... can a... person who isn't even part of Magic Cabel...
i believe this is correct since the kanji say magical company but the pronounciation is this english phrase
Ok, I wasn't sure if the article was needed or not...
<P15>
{bot mid}
I keep asking you to stop. This just too horrible.
---I keep asking you to stop. This is just too horrible.
no, the pidgin-like english is a typo. your correction is good.
>P19<
{bot right}
You're fine if you can still say such rude stuff ey?
---You're fine if you can still say such rude stuff, ey?
---You're fine if you can still say such rude stuff, hey?
------comma needed... typo...?
comma ok. "ey?" not a typo. " 'ey?" optional abbv comma = OK
Ok, "ey" isn't a 'sound' I'm familiar with, so I pointed it out...
<P21>
What is your objective by doing this?
---What is your objective in doing this?
---What are you after in doing this?
------proper preposition... or tweak...
i like this. GJ
<P22>
=1========
Dont tell me, the top secret church of the cross's impervious guard barrior,
---Don't tell me, the top-secret, Church of the Cross, impervious guard-warrior,
------typos... caps needed... commas needed...(but I'm not sure if the "Church of the Cross" is 'top-secret', or if
she - the 'impervious guard-warrior' - is...)
maybe:
Dont tell me... that the top secret church of the cross's impervious guard barrior,
as in
Dont tell me, impervious guard barrior on the top secret church of the cross' ,
alt:
bubble1: The top secret barrier which the Church of the Cross was so proud of
bubble2: was so easily broken
^-- i vaguely remember I didnt want to use this form because its embarrassing and a meme. however, there is no
mention of 'warrior' so watch out. barrier refers to her clothes having a barrior placed on them.
Ah - this is what happens when I know almost nothing about the storyline, characters, weapons and characteristics of the last two. To me, "warrior" is more natural than clothing having a "barrier" on it...which is why mentioned it as a suggestion.
This is why I refer to my suggestions as just that...and I always defer to the translator because I rarely know the 'background' of the story...
P23>
=3========
You're tits are fully erect despite being Virgin rape'd right now.
---Your tits are fully erect despite being Virgin-rape'd right now.
---Your tits are fully swollen despite being Virgin-rape'd right now.
------typo... (If "Virgin raped" is a condition, or a 'style', then it needs a hyphen as a compound word... tweak
('tits' don't get 'erect' like a dick does, but they can swell up/engorge...)
even if tits cant get erect, the word he used is the same. in this case the word was written without kanji and in
katakana which suggests the speaker isnt paying attention to propper grammar. Though that's not to say the word is
wrong in Jp. Just that he is 'spitting it out'
Ok...
<P39>
{mid}
Drink, and never forget the taste of Stiyl the magician's special thick semen!
---Drink, and never forget the taste of Stiyl-the-Magician's special thick semen!
---Drink, and never forget the taste of the special thick semen of Stiyl the Magician!
---Drink, and never forget the tasty special thick semen of Stiyl the Magician!
---Drink, and never forget the special taste and thick semen of Stiyl the Magician!
------tweaks...(if "Stiyl the Magician" is used in a mid-sentence position, it has to be hyphenated...if it's used at the end of the sentence, it can be left unhyphenated...)
drink comes at the end of the JP sentence but this is ok too. some stuff going on here so ill leave the lit TL and let you decide
lit. Sorceror Stiyl's special thick semen! So (you) can't forget, taste and drink!
Hmm, no...the decision should be yours. The problem is that to a native-born English speaker, a great number of Japanese sentences are 'backwards', and sound like a mix of pidgin and translated German... a point that Biri(TL and Ed) and I have ...'discussed' for over four years.
Some translators insist that English sentences follow the Japanese structure quite closely - even if the English sounds odd-to-wierd.
Others want the English to sound as natural as possible to English speakers, as long as the information and intent of the Japanese sentence is conveyed.
That's your choice as Translator, so you choose whichever version is acceptable...
<P47>
yes those were typos
good job on this. i wish there were more PRs like you in manga translation groups. then we would have far less 'crude English' and typos. Every TL needs a TLC.
Ah! Thank you...but part of the problem may well be that there aren't too many native-born American English speakers available who have read everything they could get their hands on for 50+ years, as well as having a wide variety of interests, a practical knowledge of most sciences, and a quirky and irreverent sense of humor...and who want to proofread translated Japanese comics...!
It also helps to have failed English three years in a row in High school... blink.gif
Aside from all that, what you said earns you a laugh.gif I think you meant 'Translation Check', but the acronym TLC (which has been in use since the 50's) to North Americans means 'Tender-Lovin' Care'...as in, "That old Teddy bear of yours needs some TLC..."
And, of course, there's also a nice pun in TLC... insofar as it doesn't hurt to give a translated script some TLC from time-to-time... biggrin.gif
Take care,
PE
Red's Unumbered Individul Bounties, For when I am lazy
Jan 21 2019, 03:15
