[X] My Assistant

Red_Piotrus asked me to take a look at your questions. Number one is answered (?) so I'll address 2 and 3.

2. No, there is no need for parentheses or apostrophe that I can tell.

3. That bubble is "Geez... you're really such a lech![heart]" For those who are interested, the word used is "Ecchi" again, but I seem to remember that caused problems around here before.

UF

This post has been edited by ultimaflaral: Oct 16 2014, 19:57

Proofed 3d+ with my comments. As before, my changes are in red, and any questions are in green.

[...]
-B4, S
=== What's that platinum card? I DON'T THINK WHAT'S IS THE BEST QUESTION HERE...
[...]

this is the point, why I asked for the prefered question.

Here are the corrected pages. plus Ehcove-page.
[www.sendspace.com] https://www.sendspace.com/file/4czedw

i think, i'm done. please tell me, if you see any errors.

Forgive me for overstepping myself here, but these pages need some more love. Just looking at the 4 pages you sent, these are rife with poor English.

page 006, 3rd bubble: "You know what? That type leaped into fame after shown on the TV" --> "after being shown on TV" OR "after being on TV"

Same page, next big bubble: "hernia" --> "hernias"

Same page, bottom left corner: "Takako-san gonna spank your the butt" At a minimum this should be "Takako-san's" and "spank your butt"

page 15, 1st bubble: "Left me home alone" is bad english after a comma. Maybe "and left me home alone"?

Same page, top left corner: enjoy --> enjoyed

Same page, left side over skuld's head: "be a too much" --> "be too much"

Page 30, 1st bubble: "still erect" --> "still get erect". Right next to that, "want to put it it" --> "want to put it in"

page 33, 2nd panel far left box: "in the situation like this" --> "in a situation like this"


There are also some really questionable looking translations here. Some of the bubbles just don't seem to make any sense at all in context. For example, page 30, panel 2, top left bubble seems totally out of whack compared to what's going on. Page 15, bottom of the page, she is NOT the bottom of the hierarchy, but she won't be able to go against her her whole life? I haven't looked at the RAWs, but I do suggest someone familiar with these works read through and make sure everything here is making sense.

UF

EDIT: To be clear, this is just the proofing I did from the 4 pages in your archive ONLY. I have not looked through any other pages, though someone probably should.

This post has been edited by ultimaflaral: Oct 17 2014, 04:16

Thanks for the fixes. I gave it a read through, but I am not perfect, particularly when it comes to a/the. Non-native speaker, after all...

Sure thing, sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes. This isn't my project, but I did want to say something just in case. I meant no disrespect to anyone involved.

I wouldn't mind proofing the rest if you wish.

UF

If you wouldn't mind helping more, don't let me stop you. Since the other TL is AWOL, and that after having collected a not insignificant bounty, I am more than happy to hear your suggestions!

hi,
When there are no editing-errors, i've done my job. can i claim the bounty?

According to ulti, we have quite a few proofreading corrections in the pipeline, so please wait - after ulti posts a corrected script, we may have to re-do a number of pages.

I am also afraid that this project will be stalled in the future; given that asdkg has stopped replying to any PMs or posting here for over two months, and that some serious concerns were raised over the quality of the translations posted... sigh.

Apologies for the delay. My proofreading notes are at the bottom. These are ONLY corrections to the English. Only in the very worst spots did I retranslate anything. As a disclaimer, these will basically fix the fundamental English errors, but will not necessarily make the script more coherent. To do that, this probably would need to be retranslated.

UF


Okay, this is a QC/proofreading set of comments. With only a couple exceptions, I am not making any translation-related comments, as I'm not the original translator.

Page 6: I proofed this one in the post above, but I took a look at the platinum card bubble. It would be better as "Whipping out your card so quickly...!" The word "ikinari" (suddenly/instantly) was accidentally left out.

Page 7: Bubble 1, "Feel like" --> I feel like. Panel 3, "you must meant" --> "you must have meant". Same panel, "make everyone's heart beat as hard as it could" --> "she makes everyone's heart beat as hard as it can" OR "I make everyone's heart beat as hard as it can". Panel 4, "well that pun was not like a kid for sure" --> Well, that wasn't a kid's joke for sure. Same panel, "I think I can be the champion" --> I think I could be a champion". Last panel, "But! I cannot as I don't have hand now" -> "But I cannot as I don't have any hands now"

Page 8: panel 3, "It is nonsense of you to..." -> remove the comma.

Page 9: last panel, "I'm not sure it's because..." -> get rid of the word "how"

Page 10: 1st panel, "more kiss...?" -> "More kissing...?"

page 11: panel 1, 1st bubble, "there're many place better than here on chair..." -> There are many places better than here on a chair..." Same panel, "...don't have to feel my big bell, isn't it?" -> "...don't have to feel my big belly, right?"

page 12: bottom right panel, bottom right bubble, "...such a lustful thoughts" -> "...such lustful thoughts" Same panel, "May be" -> "Maybe"

Page 15: See the thread

page 17: panel 2, "after dinner, he usually watches baseball game or reads newspaper" -> "After dinner he usually watches a baseball game or reads the newspaper" Same panel, "Rule No.1. You can't refuse other's approach in house without proper reason" -> "Rule No.1: You can't refuse another's approach in the house without a proper reason" Bottom right panel, box, "Urd's blow job is so passionate that makes me embarrassed even though I'm only watching it" -> "...Urd's blowjob is so passionate that it makes me embarrassed just watching it" Last box, "...may be..." -> "...maybe..."

page 18: panel 1, "you want here too?" -> "you want it here too?". 3rd panel, "Men have a really amazing things on them" -> "Men have really amazing things on them". Middle bottom panel, "...unless I'm gonna do this and" -> "Otherwise I'm gonna do this and"

page 20: panel 1, "...do what small one can't..." -> "do what small ones can't...".

page 22: 1st bubble, "whole day" -> "all day". Next panel, "you buy me some new one" -> "you buy me some new ones".

page 23: top left panel, top left bubble, "among the male" -> "among the males"

page 26: panel 1, "It's tiny so." -> "It's so tiny."

page 27: "Wow [heart] amazing he cummed with only hearing us" -> "Wow [heart] Amazing, he came just listening to us"

page 31: panel 2, "dig it as much as you want" -> "Dig it in as much as you want". Right next to that, "let's play nasty pussy thing with me" -> "How about doing it with our nasty pussies" [NOTE: I actually retranslated this one since it was senseless]. bottom left bubble, "O.K" -> "Okay"

page 32: bottom panel, 1st bubble, "...Hey. I'll let you do" -> "...Hey. I'll let you do us"

page 33: see above post

page 36: 2nd line, "showing off your panty" -> "showing off your panties". Next line, "shouldn't do before" -> "shouldn't do this before". Last line, "some reward" -> "a reward"

page 38: "laps" -> "lap"

page 39: "how come are these so heavy?" -> "Why are these so heavy?"

page 40: "have anyone swallowed whole part of this huge thing...?" -> "Has anyone swallowed this whole, huge thing...?"

page 43: upper left corner, "among the male" -> "among males"

page 44: left side of page, "a dick milk" -> "dick milk". Bottom right, "Mister's candy ball, is so cute" -> "Mister's candy balls, they're so cute". Same line, "Give me milk I'm nuzzling it" -> "I'm rubbing them, so spray out your milk!" [retranslated in part]

page 45: Bottom, "to do with...?" -> "to do it with...?"

page 47: top left, "Do, Don't stare" -> "D-Don't stare". Bottom left, "which want do you want to do with?" -> "Who do you want to do it with?"

page 48: bottom left, "another hole" -> "other hole".

page 49: "let's do a dirty thing with me" -> "Let's do dirty things together". Bottom, "some wet thing" -> "some wet things"

According to ulti, we have quite a few proofreading corrections in the pipeline, so please wait - after ulti posts a corrected script, we may have to re-do a number of pages.

I am also afraid that this project will be stalled in the future; given that asdkg has stopped replying to any PMs or posting here for over two months, and that some serious concerns were raised over the quality of the translations posted... sigh.

I've done as specified (editing NOT tl). I can't check for any tl-errors because i can't read the original language. And I used a _proofread_ script (by Red_Piotrus), thats a sign for me not to discredit the script.
I would like to claim the bounty for the finished work.

One or two bubbles are ok to correct. But I have to redo most of the pages.... (its like a new editing-job)
And then its still not coherent, as ulti says:

These are ONLY corrections to the English. Only in the very worst spots did I retranslate anything. As a disclaimer, these will basically fix the fundamental English errors, but will not necessarily make the script more coherent.

please let ulti redo this complete script and i reedit it with new bounty.

To be clear, I have not offered to retranslate this script. It would make me pretty uncomfortable to do so. To date, I have offered nothing but English proofreading.

Your point on your responsibilities is not wholly unreasonable. Yes the script had gone through a proofread before. Yes, even with revisions this might be considered something of a subpar project. Were you to take this to Tenboro there's a chance he might decide to give you the bounty.

But he probably would not, and for at least two reasons. First (and least important), you might have brought up how poor the English was yourself, even when working from an allegedly proofread script. I don't know if English is native to you or not, but your forum posts are well spoken and fluent. Frankly, your English seems good enough that you should have suspected something was wrong with some of the blatantly broken sentences when you were typing them in.

Second (and more important), ALL editors have to do revisions for QC/proofreading. I'm a rank A translator with almost 50 completed translation bounties. Most of those bounties are either up on the boards or in the process of getting there. In all my experience, I have had a zero-revision editing job done for one of my scripts exactly ONE TIME. Every other time I have gone page by page with my editors until everything was right. Many times it was for editor errors, but many times it was to make last minute script revisions (e.g. trimming down the number of words in a bubble so the font size can be bigger, etc). The editor is not at fault for these latter things, but fixing such things is still part of the job. In some cases, that meant redoing things on 80% of the pages. These proofreading comments above are actually very minor things by comparison.

I see that you are unranked as a bounty hunter. I don't know how much experience you have editing, but Quality Checking is a standard part of the job around here. Regardless of whose fault it is that the errors exist, the errors DO need to get fixed. The only one who can do so is the one who edits the pages. It's just part of your job.

To be honest, I don't see it as a terribly big deal. I'm only a mediocre editor and I think I could make all of those changes in maybe an hour. Surely you still have your original GIMP/photoshop files, right? A few minutes with the text tool per page editing already existing bubbles is hardly "like a new editing job." Given that this is a MASSIVE editing bounty (175 hath for 42 pages? That's more than I make translating most of the time!!), I have very little sympathy if you aren't willing to do even the minimum level of QC that any other editor on these boards would be expected to do. I suspect Tenboro would not have much sympathy either.

UF

This post has been edited by ultimaflaral: Oct 20 2014, 04:30

Since this is partially my responsibility - I should have asked for more proofreading on this - I would usually be willing to up the bounty, but in this case, ulti is right: the editing bounty is already extremely high; for that much hath I usually get (a bit shorter) scrips with fully redrawn sfx-es and such. So, since we are not doing redraws, and applying the changes should be just an hour or so, I hope we can agree to cover the revisions under this bounty.

And I'd like to stress again that this is not trying to scam the editor; the bounty is one of the highest if not the highest in the entire EHCOVE history for an editing job.

To be clear, I have not offered to retranslate this script.

Ok, sorry. I have then misunderstood.

[...] Were you to take this to Tenboro there's a chance he might decide to give you the bounty.

Who is Tenboro?

But he probably would not, and for at least two reasons. First (and least important), you might have brought up how poor the English was yourself, even when working from an allegedly proofread script. I don't know if English is native to you or not,

nope, its not. and as i sayd, i don't know the original language. therefore i can not say if the author did it intentionally or the tl did wrong.

but your forum posts are well spoken and fluent.

Thanks to the two online-translators & dictionarys, I use, and lots of time!

Frankly, your English seems good enough that you should have suspected something was wrong with some of the blatantly broken sentences when you were typing them in.

I don't type it. Copy-Paste is faster. And as i sayd: Are the "blatantly broken sentences" the TL or the Authors faults, I don't know.

Second (and more important), ALL editors have to do revisions for QC/proofreading. I'm a rank A translator with almost 50 completed translation bounties. Most of those bounties are either up on the boards or in the process of getting there. In all my experience, I have had a zero-revision editing job done for one of my scripts exactly ONE TIME. Every other time I have gone page by page with my editors until everything was right. Many times it was for editor errors, but many times it was to make last minute script revisions (e.g. trimming down the number of words in a bubble so the font size can be bigger, etc). The editor is not at fault for these latter things, but fixing such things is still part of the job. In some cases, that meant redoing things on 80% of the pages. These proofreading comments above are actually very minor things by comparison.
I see that you are unranked as a bounty hunter. I don't know how much experience you have editing, but Quality Checking is a standard part of the job around here.

Definitly not! At my first editing-job I tried proofreading and I got massivly abused for doing it!!!!!!!
This time (#5) I didn't do it, and again...... How should I know, what You want?

Regardless of whose fault it is that the errors exist, the errors DO need to get fixed. The only one who can do so is the one who edits the pages. It's just part of your job.

I didn't say, I don't do it. I tried to say, why should i do an obvious unnecessary job, when you retranslate it, and in a few weeks I can reedit it again.
I know now, that you didn't intend to do this. So its no problem for me to edit it now.

To be honest, I don't see it as a terribly big deal. I'm only a mediocre editor and I think I could make all of those changes in maybe an hour. Surely you still have your original GIMP/photoshop files, right? A few minutes with the text tool per page editing already existing bubbles is hardly "like a new editing job." Given that this is a MASSIVE editing bounty (175 hath for 42 pages? That's more than I make translating most of the time!!), I have very little sympathy if you aren't willing to do even the minimum level of QC that any other editor on these boards would be expected to do. I suspect Tenboro would not have much sympathy either.

UF

Who is Tenboro?

btw on the subject of liquid english: I have now been working nearly 2 hours on this answer.

This post has been edited by Flame13: Oct 20 2014, 15:46

To answer your question, Tenboro runs this whole site. I bring him up because he is also the one who settles bounty disputes when they happen. When a bounty hunter puts in a claim, the bounty poster has up to one week to accept or reject that claim. If the claim is rejected, the bounty hunter may dispute that rejection by PMing Tenboro with why he thinks his claim should not have been rejected. I've never gone through the process myself, but I've heard secondhand that it's kind of a lengthy process.

As to quality checking, I think I may not have been clear. An editor is generally responsible for making changes after quality checking has occurred (e.g. after submitting his first-draft pages), but he is not responsible for judging the quality himself. Usually the one doing the Quality Checking is the bounty poster or the original translator.

As such, if you are not native to English then you have no responsibility to question incorrect English in your first draft. HOWEVER, as the editor you are still required to make corrections after Quality Checking is done, REGARDLESS of whose fault the underlying errors are. The underlying goal is always to put out the best possible product.

And forgive me please if my previous post came across as being harsh. It looks like we may both have been misunderstanding each other. If you are willing to make the proofreading changes, then there's no reason for us to quarrel.

UF

[www.sendspace.com] https://www.sendspace.com/file/eji1m5

Looks good, but the archive is missing pages? E.g. Pages 13, 14, 21, 24, 25, etc. Were those in a different archive?

UF

i only put the modified pages into a new archive, cause my internet is slow. uploading this last zip-file still has 2-3 hours needed and two start-ups, bacause it has been aborted. the other pages ar in the first file i send.

I wonder if dropbox wouldn't be a better filelocker choice for you? I think you can upload files there (in fact, you can sync directories) and download folders as zips.

But sendspace is for free and no registration required

Dropbox is for free, through it does require reregistration. It may be worth trying out if you are having connection issues. Just a suggestion to make your life easier.