[X] My Assistant

Got a new script for this..... But i'm not too certain if it's all that "accurate" if you catch my drift.

Here:

Here you go:

(Instructions: Its ordered from right-left, up-down)

Pg3:
1.What did you find?


Pg5:

1.Huh...?

2.What's going on here...?


Pg6:

1.You sure about this Yuka-chan, this is a Love Hotel?

2.I'm well aware of that!

3.Yeah, well I don't understand what we doing at a place like this?

4.Well, that's...

5.Ahg, wait a minute, Yuka-chan

6.As the leader, I guess I'll take the initiative for you!


Pg7:

1.Ll..llook...hurry up and take off your underware...!

2.Now, come over here...

3.You wanted this, right? Now go ahead and insert it between here.


Pg8:

1.Wha-what...don't tell me you don't feel anything at all...

2.Just a second ago you were twitching with fear, but now you're warming up to it.

3.That's right, you don't have to hold back? Its all thanks to my boobs.

4.Just as I expected, you can't help but cum in my boobs.


Pg9:

1.Yes

2.Ahh, you idiot...it won't stop dripping...no way, this is to intense...

3.Uhuh, incredible.

4.But there so much of it...great, its all over my clothes.


Pg10:

1.Ah man, its all sloppy and sticky in my clothes

2.The couples in the other rooms are probably doing the this...

3.But, theres no way I could this with anyone but you, I love you.

"Kiss"


Pg11:

1.Ohh...Its my turn.

2.You're going against my boobs, how many seconds will it take?

3.Look, look, the pressure of my boobs is causing it to change.

4.Its so good its melting, it must be painful.

5.Mhn, mhn

6.Mhnhu,mnh


Pg12:

1.Ahh...its hot.

2.Puhaa...huha

3.Mmhn

4.Hah...uhn..

5.Hehehe, that really surprised.

6. I glad to see my boobs made you feel so good.


Pg13:

1.Oh my! That was fun, wasn't it?

2.Yeh..?

3.In that case, I'll compete in the breast pressure contest, but I don't plan on losing.

4.Now come...immerse yourself in pleasure.

5.Mhn...mhguh...theres no need for you to hold back, cum as much you want.

6. Yes, good...let it out inside anytime you want.


Pg14:

1.Kuh...ahh

2.Huahh...Ahh...aahhh!! Your penis is trembling in between my boobs.

3.Mhn...your seeds are overflowing.

4.Huh...dull performance, right. Despite that, she really knows the importances of a titjob...

5.Come on, switch, let somebody elses get a turn.

6.Hhuh...there still more to by boobs than that.

7....are you listening!?


Pg16:

1.I'm so embarrassmed, everybodys staring.

2.(Sin)

3.(Sin)


Pg17:

1.Heah!?

2.What is this?

Pg21:

1.Ahh! Its inside me.

2.Your seeds are completely cultivating in my boobs...!

3.Now, don't move Yuki-chan.

4.Now look this way, and peace!

No, it's not accurate. I went through the first five pages, and there are far too many errors to be acceptable.

Yeah...these are the kinds of errors in the first few pages. The other lines are mostly ok (at the very least, certainly not so far off base). I'm not exactly sure how one makes those errors...but suffice it to say, there's room for improvement.

Pg3:
1.What did you find?
What are you looking for?

Pg6:

1.You sure about this Yuka-chan, this is a Love Hotel?
This is a love hotel, don't you know about them?

3.Yeah, well I don't understand what we doing at a place like this?
Ah, then you know what people do in this place, then.

6.As the leader, I guess I'll take the initiative for you!
(Not that^. But a little odd, so I'm not figuring it out exactly.)

Pg7:

3.You wanted this, right? Now go ahead and insert it between here.
Today's a risky day, so I'll have you put it in here. You like this, right?

This post has been edited by PeopleDon'tDanceNoMore: Jul 24 2012, 00:06

全然やる気じゃないあなた => "don't tell me you don't feel anything at all...""

Uhm.. no. (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Pg3:
1.What did you find?
What are you looking for?

I think the line is hard to translate exactly.
Because, "探しものは何ですか" is a part of a song lyrics.
[www.hi-ho.ne.jp] http://www.hi-ho.ne.jp/momose/mu_title/yumeno_nakae_w.htm

This also related to the title of the manga "胸の中へイってみたいと思いませんか", which is parody of "夢の中へ行ってみたいと思いませんか", same song lyrics.

全然やる気じゃないあなた => "don't tell me you don't feel anything at all...""

Uhm.. no. (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

"You seems ready-to-cum(eager) already..."

Pg6:
6. I'll lead you 'cause I don't like you lead me!

Pg8:
2. Your cock is throbbing and hot.
3. You don't need to worry about make my boobs pregnant.
4. You can't make boobs pregnant even perv like you.

Pg9:
2. Don't do it harder 'cause it isn't wet enough yet...
4. Seems this tons of loads can make boobs pregnant...

Pg10:
2. I'm sure the couples in the other rooms aren't doing like this...
3. But, I love you which want me and my tits fuck much.

Pg14:
4. Huh...dull performance. Don't know true info-leaders give priority to nipple-job then tits pressure...?

Pg16:
1. "Team Watching Bashfully Yukarin"

This post has been edited by Thira: Jul 24 2012, 21:19

I think the line is hard to translate exactly.
Because, "探しものは何ですか" is a part of a song lyrics.
[www.hi-ho.ne.jp] http://www.hi-ho.ne.jp/momose/mu_title/yumeno_nakae_w.htm

This also related to the title of the manga "胸の中へイってみたいと思いませんか", which is parody of "夢の中へ行ってみたいと思いませんか", same song lyrics.
"You seems ready-to-cum(eager) already..."

That's neat (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) , the song title link... But as far as the lyrics, "What are you looking for?" seems like a fine translation even within the song, to me...I don't know how that doesn't fit?

But as far as the lyrics, "What are you looking for?" seems like a fine translation even within the song, to me...I don't know how that doesn't fit?

Yea, seems fine.
But some readers which don't know the song may feel a bit strange about the line.
Also, if you want to make relation with the title, need some more idea.

Well anyway, those are depends on translator's feelings.

But some readers which don't know the song may feel a bit strange about the line.

I don't know, "sagashimono" has a pretty clear meaning. Sure, if you don't know the song, one might not know why the line is there, but it should still be quite easy to translate even on its own.

What I meant is, translating each nuance of original one is really difficult.

I've got a new script [www.mediafire.com] here for this. I can tell English isn't his first language which isn't a big deal for me (can adjust whatever) but I'd like to know if this accurate or BS.

I've got a new script [www.mediafire.com] here for this. I can tell English isn't his first language which isn't a big deal for me (can adjust whatever) but I'd like to know if this accurate or BS.

I'd like to take a look at it, but it looks like the gallery is unavailable. It redirects me to the front page.

Here's a mediafire link for the gallery: [www.mediafire.com] http://www.mediafire.com/?byqi7bijg63k1a6

I've got a new script [www.mediafire.com] here for this. I can tell English isn't his first language which isn't a big deal for me (can adjust whatever) but I'd like to know if this accurate or BS.

Looking through the first 5 pages, it's...well, not BS at least.

This...
"On the Entrance Pass Route of Our secret hideout"
...is really bad >_< , so I'll help you out here. It should be something like "The thing that was blocking the ("route"/whatever) to our secret hideout was..."

I've got a new script for [http] this. I already know i'll have to work the english (could tell from talking to the translator), but just wanna make sure it's legit enough to accept.

Pages 1-5

P1
It's Ms Librarian who is looking through the library window.
She always smokes and drinks coffee
while organizing books.
Melancholy expressions will be shown on her face occasionally.
Only in front of Ms Librarian will make me speechless, so I have to stop daydreaming.
Though mediocre, I still longing for her.
In library after class time, I always peep at Ms Librarian.
Why I do not even have a chance, why?

P2
I can't say I'm not hurt in feelings.
I see Ms Librarian's underwear.
Is that a vibration rod?

P3
Maybe it's put in there today.
Its shape can be seen clearly.
Feeling great while wriggling the waist.
But don't understand the looks is just as calm & usual.
There's not much people go to library normally in this time, but in case it's be found...

P4
Excuse me, Mayama San?
She knows my name?
If look closely, there's no bra!
Wearing no bra in school while having vibration rod in.
Ms Librarian is so close to me that I am too nervous to talk.

P5
So you would like to borrow.
Please write the card.
[Wow, Ms Librarian is so beautiful.]
Mayama San?
What's wrong? Why you look so abstracted?
Are you Okay?
[Lips are thick and glossy.]
Shit!
Are you uncomfortable? You sure you are alright?

P6
Mayama San, are you feeling not well?
No, this is the...
Hehe, is it here that's uncomfortable?
Arhh, Ms Librarian.
Does there hurt?
I will check there in another room.
Are you watching my pussy all the time?
Then, here,
It's Okay, here you are welcome.

P7
You noticed my vibration nod?
Luckily that it's hard already so I don't have to wait.
Why it's hard since you haven't done anything?
And I think I have become friends with Ms. Librarian.
Hehe, it's lovely.
Your dick is comparatively lovely.
Do you want me to make friends with your dick first?
There's no play for a while recently...
Now my heart keeps pounding.
My dick been wrapped by her tongue.

P8
Then, she sucked it.
[Although she always has a cold looks]
[So damn love this dick...
Why the looks becomes so sluty.]

P9
Fellatio, the feeling is so much great.
How is it?
I'm, I'm cuming
It's Okay, honor me with your semem.

P10
Arhh, cuminggg.
Oh, it's all sucked up.
You have stored it well.
Your juice is sticky and taste delicious.
Drank it?

P11
Mayama San, look in here.
It's there since I came to school,
Even when in front of you I got little cum.
What? You don't mind that thing there?
No.
Do you put it there all the time?
That's right.
So, you want it pulled out?
Hey, have a closer look.
I like being teased.
Okay.
Shaking so much.

P12
It's squirting.
So, Mayama San...

P13
Because of this quick violence, I feel good and cum a little.
As I cum a little,
lick it clean nicely.
Yeah, that's the place.
I want this more.
My pussy is desperate
Please lick it
I understand your feeling
You want to get inside so badly?
Yes, very much indeed.
Got cum with toy already
But it is hardly good enough, compared to the crave for flesh dick.

P14
What if,
Flesh then, let's do it.
How about it? Want to do it?
How could I use my dick?
Why that way?
Just the moment I said about dick
It becomes so hard.
It is quite honest instead.
It's really going inside.
It's out slimy.
It's been sucked in.
Please come to the deeper inside.
Like it stirring in the vigina and thrust is also good.

P15
From the bottom.
In and out repeatedly and stirring.
Young people is so intense in sex.
Dick feels so great.
It's pouring inside of me.
Arh, sorry.

P16
Sorry, I poured out inside of you.
It's so sticky, what if you get pregnant?
What we do about it?
[Recalling the moment...]
Just relax.
I feel so good with your poking so greedily.
It's been a while since I got juice inside of me.
I can feel the joy of my body.
I try to remember the feeling of that moment. I remembered.
I want another round.
I want to taste the dick one more.
Would you kindly please?

P17
It's not enough.
Sill want to taste
your dick very much.
My pussy is full,
so please go deeper and to my uterus.
That thing,
if I do that thing,
that will make you pregnant.
Just poured out, and I'm going to pour once more.
You also want this fuck and your dick squeezed.

P18

Deep, deep
[She is so pleased of getting juice inside
even might get pregnant.
Why she is to toxicated?
She is a lewd and wanton whore I guess.
Why the feeling is so good.
What a body!]
I..also wanna cum.
I wanna cum.
Cuming..

P19
It's out inside, I can feel the semen inside of me.
It's been completely out.

P20
Sorry, that I light the cigarette unconsciously.
My careless habit.
Ah, this looks.
You want to look in my pussy?
[the glittering lips]

This post has been edited by Super Shanko: Nov 16 2012, 09:58

Only read the first page of the translation. It's not accurate, sometimes a complete rewrite.

It's Ms Librarian who is looking through the library window.

I'm looking through the library's glass at the librarian in her room. (this one can probably be interpreted in a lot of ways, but there are at least two distinct rooms)

while organizing books.

while filling some documents.

Melancholy expressions will be shown on her face occasionally.

She sometimes wears a troubled expression.

Only in front of Ms Librarian will make me speechless, so I have to stop daydreaming.

The simple fact of being in front of her makes me nervous and unable to speak, so in the end it stops to my longing for her.

Though mediocre, I still longing for her.

I know it's cliché, but I've grown attracted to her.

In library after class time, I always peep at Ms Librarian.

When I don't have classes, I come to the library to steal a glance at her.

Why I do not even have a chance, why?

I wonder if I have the slightest chance. Just kidding.

Only read the first page of the translation. It's not accurate, sometimes a complete rewrite.
--->thanks for the checking, some expressions needs improvement, some can sounds more local, but most I think it's just the interpretation difference. It's the same meaning, and I think mine is more close to original? As not native in both English and Japanese, I'm still learning. Thanks for your comments again.


It's Ms Librarian who is looking through the library window.
I'm looking through the library's glass at the librarian in her room. (this one can probably be interpreted in a lot of ways, but there are at least two distinct rooms)
--->Thanks for your version, if literally should read like below:
I'm looking through the reading room window at librarian who is in her library room.

while organizing books.
while filling some documents.
--->"documents" is more accurate.

Melancholy expressions will be shown on her face occasionally.
She sometimes wears a troubled expression.
--->is this interpretation difference?

Only in front of Ms Librarian will make me speechless, so I have to stop daydreaming.
The simple fact of being in front of her makes me nervous and unable to speak, so in the end it stops to my longing for her.
--->interpretation difference?

Though mediocre, I still longing for her.
I know it's cliché, but I've grown attracted to her.
--->your version's subject is the things, not the people, I will try to have a better understanding of this one.

In library after class time, I always peep at Ms Librarian.
When I don't have classes, I come to the library to steal a glance at her.
--->interpretation difference?

Why I do not even have a chance, why?
I wonder if I have the slightest chance. Just kidding.
--->interpretation difference?

This post has been edited by exvita: Nov 9 2012, 03:51

It's the same meaning, and I think mine is more close to original?

Most of the time, it's not the same meaning, and I'm pretty sure I'm closer to the original (or I wouldn't have translated it this way).

As not native in both English and Japanese, I'm still learning.

Neither am I, so I may be wrong on some points.

Melancholy expressions will be shown on her face occasionally.
She sometimes wears a troubled expression.
--->is this interpretation difference?

Not much of a difference (except that I think the way I worded it is much more natural), but to be troubled and to be melancholy are two different things. I'd define melancholy as light sadness, sometimes coupled with some kind of bitter happiness and associated to remembrance of past events. It doesn't fit here. She may look troubled, fatigued, annoyed, exhausted, but probably not melancholy. I don't see how 悩んでる can be translated as melancholy.

Only in front of Ms Librarian will make me speechless, so I have to stop daydreaming.
The simple fact of being in front of her makes me nervous and unable to speak, so in the end it stops to my longing for her.
--->interpretation difference?

The first part of the sentence is just rephrased with more natural wording, but the second part is really different. She doesn't say she daydreams, she just clearly says the state their relationship is in (which is that, since she can't even speak in front of her, she's a complete stranger to the librarian and that even though she loved her, they're not dating).

Though mediocre, I still longing for her.
I know it's cliché, but I've grown attracted to her.
--->your version's subject is the things, not the people, I will try to have a better understanding of this one.

If it can help, 月並み means cliché.

In library after class time, I always peep at Ms Librarian.
When I don't have classes, I come to the library to steal a glance at her.
--->interpretation difference?

It's pretty much the same (mine is closer to the Japanese because she doesn't say something like 放課後 for "after class", but 授業以外 so "when not in class").

Why I do not even have a chance, why?
I wonder if I have the slightest chance. Just kidding.
--->interpretation difference?

Okay, her first sentence ends with かな, which hints that she's wondering something, not rhetorically stating that she doesn't have a chance (which is how you translated it). Then, I think you misread なんで instead of なんて: she's not asking why, adding なんて behind a sentence is a way of saying something like "I may have said it, but it was actually a joke, I didn't really think what I just said."

This post has been edited by KirbyDances: Nov 10 2012, 00:51

All I see in Super Shanko's link to the original is 'gre'. Is it just me?

No, I got it by PM, here it is: https://e-hentai.org/g/486843/606521423a/

All I see in Super Shanko's link to the original is 'gre'. Is it just me?

Yea, sorry about that. I put gre as a place holder for the actual link while I was focusing on filling out the rest of the reply and forgot to replace it. (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/heh.gif)