QUOTE(Faeldrin @ Aug 26 2015, 17:06)
So, I've been working on a translation for
https://e-hentai.org/g/540980/b4c566141f/. Since a (large) handful of lines have been bothering me, I'd like corrections/second opinions here:
- pg 02
あらためて。。。言うなあああああああああ
Don't say it... on purpooooooose [first time I've seen あらためて for something else than repeating, is this correct?]
- pg 03
恥ずかしくないよっ 逆転の発想さっ
It's not embarrassing ; rather, it's the opposite
- pg 04
っていうか 私って 結構感度いくない？
Wait, even if it's my body, aren't you too sensitive?
- pg 05
客観的に見るはめになるとは思わなかったが エロすぎる...な
Objectively speaking, I never thought it would turn out like that, but... this is too erotic [guessing at first part]
- pg 06
ドロっとしてて重い...っ
? [ドロ is apparently sfx for sticky stuff like semen]
- pg 12
入れ替わりが与える精神的ダメージは思ったより激しく
そして確実に... 何かが壊れていった
The mental damage from changing bodies was greater than I thought
And then, inescapably... something broke
- pg 13
デレバンも描きたかったのですが、アニメ派の皆さんのためにネタバレなしで。。。っとおもったのであまり全
面に出せなくて。
I also wanted to draw Dereban, but for the sake of the anime staff, I shouldn't put spoilers in... That's what I thought, so I didn't show anything [totally guessing at second part]
伊織には幸せになってほしいですね。苦労人なので。
I hope Iori will find happiness. She's a ??? person.
[Jisho gives me "wordly-wise man" for 苦労人 which as a non-native English speaker puzzles me. English dictionary gives me "experienced, knowing, sophisticated, wordly", none of which sounds okay to me given the person being referenced. Native speaker opinion welcome!]
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That's a lot of guesstimated lines for a ~13 pages work. I'll definitely stick to easier projects next time.
- pg 02
あらためて。。。言うなあああああああああ
Don't say it... on purpooooooose [first time I've seen あらためて for something else than repeating, is this correct?]
That's a refreshing way of reading あらためて. It also doesn't fix in the context. The previous line has pinkie's line, which seems to irritate JK1. Personally, I would go with [You don't have to summarise it like that!] or if we're sticking to the literal meaning [Quit summarizing it like thaaaaaat]
- pg 03
恥ずかしくないよっ 逆転の発想さっ
It's not embarrassing ; rather, it's the opposite
No problems here.
- pg 04
っていうか 私って 結構感度いくない？
Wait, "even if it's my body", aren't you too sensitive?
Isn't "even if it's my body" part of the previous bubble?
[Wait, was my body that sensitive?] is how I would put it.
- pg 05
客観的に見るはめになるとは思わなかったが エロすぎる...な
Objectively speaking, I never thought
I would end up seeing this but... this is too erotic.
- pg 06
ドロっとしてて重い...っ
? [ドロ is apparently sfx for sticky stuff like semen]
Yes. Yes it is. Describing the texture of the liquid in question, the way it dribbles down your face will do it.
- pg 12
入れ替わりが与える精神的ダメージは思ったより激しく
そして確実に... 何かが壊れていった
The mental damage from changing bodies was greater than I thought
And then, inescapably...[huh?] something broke
[And something, without a doubt, broke in us.] makes more sense.
- pg 13
デレバンも描きたかったのですが、アニメ派の皆さんのためにネタバレなしで。。。っとおもったのであまり全
面に出せなくて。
I also wanted to draw Dereban,
but I wanted to avoid spoiling it for the people watching the anime, (lit:anime group, the ones late to everything]
so they(Dereban) never really appeared in this book.伊織には幸せになってほしいですね。苦労人なので。
I hope Iori will find happiness. She's a ??? person.
[Jisho gives me "wordly-wise man" for 苦労人 which as a non-native English speaker puzzles me. English dictionary gives me "experienced, knowing, sophisticated, wordly", none of which sounds okay to me given the person being referenced. Native speaker opinion welcome!]
You know, you could just remove 人 and come up with 苦労. Too simple, I know, but it might just work. Though I fail to see how the hardworking deserve happiness. Unless they were, you know, working towards that specific goal.
Random translation help
Aug 22 2015, 16:57
