[X] My Assistant

Just to make sure, when you said chapters 7-8, you mean chapters 7-8 of volume 2, not the "fake" chapters 7-8 of volume 1 which featured that SciFi story? I was the editor for that SciFi story, so if there's any other mistakes that's been overlooked let me know and I'll correct them.

Actually, I said "episodes", not "chapters". (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif) All the Dragon Pink chapters are called Episode #, so I've been making that distinction since volume 2 started. (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) So yeah, I'm not talking about any part of volume 1 when I say 7-12 (or 7-16).

This post has been edited by PeopleDon'tDanceNoMore: Apr 1 2012, 11:46

Right, thanks for making that distinction. XD

And since I was the editor for chapter 6, naturally I should make any fixes necessary, so here it is.

Just to make sure, when you said chapters 7-8, you mean chapters 7-8 of volume 2, not the "fake" chapters 7-8 of volume 1 which featured that SciFi story? I was the editor for that SciFi story, so if there's any other mistakes that's been overlooked let me know and I'll correct them.

Yes, episodes.

Alright, i'm making all the fixes now, and the list of those involved is as follows(?):

Translators
PeopleDon'tDanceNoMore
jfji552

Editors
Kaosumx
Gtdragon
Super Shanko
LS

Proofreaders
Red_Piotrus

Co-sponsor
Dlaglacz

I think we had more proofreaders; at least I am counting all of you who commented here as such. Peoples did a lot of proofreading...

I think we had more proofreaders; at least I am counting all of you who commented here as such. Peoples did a lot of proofreading...

I was going by the gallery credits. And I guess I have to fix the 7-12 errors too. Good thing I can recognize the fonts used. :/

This post has been edited by Super Shanko: Apr 5 2012, 02:04

Shouldn't PeopleDon'tDanceNoMore be listed as Proofreader as well since he checked other translators' work as well as our edits?

Shouldn't PeopleDon'tDanceNoMore be listed as Proofreader as well since he checked other translators' work as well as our edits?

I'll probably make up something like.... secondary proofreader, or quality control or something. I'll have it all figured out once I do the final credit page, but it'll be something different.

Note about pg 213: the word "being" isn't capitalized. Augie (the font used) just looks like that with the "b" changing in size.

This post has been edited by Super Shanko: Apr 5 2012, 08:49

Note about pg 213: the word "being" isn't capitalized. Augie (the font used) just looks like that with the "b" changing in size.

Yeah...that was mentioned, and fixed, anyway, in here:

[www.mediafire.com] http://www.mediafire.com/?1so1sam57fabhlc

So no worries about that one. You're not trying to fix Episode 16, are you?

Edit:
Checking out the updated chapters in Red's post... Ep 11, 14, and 16 were good. (Ep 13 and 7-10 are yet to be done...) But a couple things were missed or mistaken in 12 and 15. Also, Red, make sure to use this image ("driven" with an 'i') for 178, instead of the one in the archive you linked.

(EPISODE 12...)

117

"The hell're you doing!?"

(EPISODE 15...)

170

"You hard-to-kill bastard!" (correct hyphenation)

This post has been edited by PeopleDon'tDanceNoMore: Apr 5 2012, 19:05

I've actually spent yesterday fixing all those first set of corrections (all of them)..... So i'll send them anyway.

With that said, i'll be fixing the 7-12 ones

(EPISODE 7...)

008
Remove the asterisks around "Nope" and "Cheapskate". ...Kinda don't know why I wrote them like that, I should've done that better.

010
The asterisks here, on "Cat Slave", are supposed to denote emphasis. Could you underline it maybe? If it doesn't look good, it's not that important , but the asterisks should be removed either way.

018
Okay, "go- -od" doesn't look as good as I hoped, could you change it to "go--od"?

And the SFX are only supposed to be "ch" (no "u").

024
Take out the slash in ZZZ/HYOO, and if they're going to be separated like that, either take out the asterisks or put one on each side of both parts.

(EPISODE 8...)

031
I guess you trimmed "cummingg" to fit on one line, but it needs two m's. "cumming" at least. Maybe you could just split it, cumm- / ingg ?

032
The parenthesized parts were only supposed to indicate what was hidden by foreground (some of them are only partially hidden, so sometimes I figure the editor might want to get a little fancy). Take out anything in parentheses. And I think it'd look a little better if those laughs were a little more evenly spaced across the vertical space; just lowering HAHA should be fine.

039
I missed an SFX! *pachi pachi* by the torch is *crackle*.

(EPISODE 9...)

053
Periods do not get orphaned on the next line. "within the atmosphere."

056
Ena Saibus -> Ener Psy Burst

(EPISODE 10...)

More a comment, but that double page either needs to be much better or dropped. It looks like the separate halves may not come to the exact middle, so a join may not even be possible.

067
Unedited bubble.

074
Unmarked sfx? (Top-left.)

(EPISODE 11...)

082
"Aus"...?
QUOTE(jfji552 @ Mar 12 2012, 09:29)
"Taa-kun from Kawai"
(Kawai is a town in the Kansai region.)

086
Punctutation (comma): "It's written on the map, too."

088
"You-know-what" (Pink)...either both hyphens get doubled or none of them do. Right now it's inconsistent. Actually, it's inconsistent with how it was typeset for Pierce, just before, which didn't double either hyphen.

"Hyoeeh"...maybe manually redraw that "H", or something, but right now it looks like "U".

suggestion: "You thundering idiot!" I just don't like the sound of "giant idiot".

089
strong suggestion: "Expecting...P-Pierce [etc]" "A matter for congratulation" doesn't work at all. Could also go with the alternate to "matter..." from the dictioary, "happy event" (more literal to the raw phrase than "expecting"), if you want, but that's not great either...but not too bad, at least.
QUOTE(jfji552 @ Mar 12 2012, 09:29)
Sounds much better, yes.

096
"Hieeeh", that "H" again...it's not too bad here, but I think it'd be nice if it looked more like an "H".

099
"No, way I did". That comma's bad punctuation (remove it). The wording is also weird, but jfj can decide if he wants to change it.
QUOTE(jfji552 @ Mar 13 2012, 15:31)
Okay. Maybe contract it to: "No, I haven't!"


(EPISODE 12...)

107
suggestion: "Heh!?" (but that looks like laughter) or "Hwe!?" or just "Huh!?", but not "He!?"; impromptu grunts shouldn't look/sound like words IMO ("he", as in "him").
QUOTE(jfji552 @ Mar 12 2012, 09:29)
Let's make it "Hwe!?".

108
"make into money"

109
That splitting of "Hon/eymoon" in the last bubble feels weird. There seems to be room for another line, so why not just start Honeymoon on the next line and then split it "Honey/moon" (unless you don't have to split it)?

117
"The hell're you doing!?"

Here (unless it's been done) >_>

Also, Red, make sure to use this image ("driven" with an 'i') for 178, instead of the one in the archive you linked.

Small nit pick: I just noticed that there's a full stop missing after the sentence.

This post has been edited by jfji552: Apr 6 2012, 04:05

Small nit pick: I just noticed that there's a full stop missing after the sentence.

I already fixed that when I redid when People showed concern about it's wording. It's in my pile of fixed pages i'm currently doing =P

I've actually spent yesterday fixing all those first set of corrections (all of them)..... So i'll send them anyway.

With that said, i'll be fixing the 7-12 ones
Here (unless it's been done) >_>

Sorry SS, I shoud've checked much earlier to let you know that I already did the revisions for chapters 11-12 since I was the editor for those chapters, so you only need to do 7-10.

Since People spotted two minor mistakes that I overlooked in the revision process, here's the corrected pages 117 and 170.



This post has been edited by lightshader: Apr 11 2012, 01:01

Good to know. I been fixed Ch10 already, so i'll have the remaining few done shortly (kinda forgot about them).

Unless I missed a PM, or am confused in a different fashion (always possible), I am missing fixed pages 8, 10, 18, 24, 67, 74 (episodes 7 and 10, I think).

Hmm.... I must've deleted them by accident or something. I'll fix them today.

Turns out I didn't delete them, but forgot to include them with the rest! (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/heh.gif)
[www.mediafire.com] http://www.mediafire.com/?4855354cadrkd80

Here's the credit page BTW.


This post has been edited by Super Shanko: Apr 15 2012, 11:32

Ok, I assume that's all the fixes, so v2 is here: https://e-hentai.org/g/483965/890332909f/

Currently as a private gallery in case we want to fix anything, if not, I'll make it public in a day or so.

Excellent work, everyone. Now we need a translator for the first chapter of Volume 3...

This post has been edited by Red_Piotrus: Apr 16 2012, 20:48

This is your management link, not private gallery link.

This is your management link, not private gallery link.

Ops, fixed.

I had to make a few fixes with the credit page (check your name at the top of the original).



This post has been edited by Super Shanko: Apr 16 2012, 22:03