[X] My Assistant

To answer that question, I suggest using just one. Otherwise it'll over crowd the page with something that's already debatable amongst people.

The Japanese language has a rich vocabulary of SFX. You will find sometimes that there's probably 10 slightly varying Japanese equivalent SFX to the English *rub*, *throw*, etc., and sometimes a Japanese SFX doesn't have a English counterpart at all. Which just tells you how hard it is to achieve what the official version has done with SFX. And even they got a few places where they didn't translate the SFX literally, but replaced them with something that befits the context.

Personally I like translations that are more free and expressive though, like the one they did with the "official" version. I enjoy reading translations that are rather creative. There's people who translated things like Faust and Iliad into English, and still made each line rhyme. I doubt they translated those word-for-word, but when I read the English version I wouldn't worry about what the original phrases were exactly, as long as the general artistic idea is the same. I just need them to make the English lines sound good.

At the same time though, I would argue that since different translators will be picking up different pieces of this project, a more literal translation would help maintain some consistency.

Oh yeah, I'm done with Episode 2, so here it is. SFX translations are included. I sort of lied about not looking back at the official translation: I had no idea what ゴート was, so I looked back to see how the official translation handled it. (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) no wonder I couldn't figure it out, it's a made-up word.

CODE

< > = page number
// = Translator comment/SFX translation
{ } = SFX romaji
( ) outside text box/bubble

<25>

It's tough being the hero!

<26>

Start the adventure. //This black text box runs into the next page.

No more! A~hn.

Idiot! A slave should just shut up and listen to what she's told!

<27>

{pih} //beep

Noo! Stop it~

{giriri} //tighten

Don't struggle!

As always, he's the worst sort of guy.

Uga.

<28>

A~hn, it hurts~

{bura~n} //dangle

Pink, bear it for a little while.

We need you to be the bait to catch some monsters.

{kuni} //pinch

Let me down! Stupid ogre! You brute~

{zazazaza} //rustling

Oh, one's come quickly!

{yusayusa} //swaying

No! Santa, please help me!

<29>

{neba--}  //sticky

Monster: Kusarimame has appeared. //Kusarimame = rotten beans? Sort of makes sense since Pink later refers to natto.

Pink, just hold on for a bit.

I'm scared~ Pierce, help me~

{burun} //jiggle

{burun} //jiggle

Hiee~ It feels gross~

I hate natto~ //natto = fermented soybeans

{nuto--} //smearing

It's always nice to see a monster and girl entwined together~

<30>

Ahi!

{dero--} //sloppy grabbing

No~ I'm going to die!

Ah!

{kuni~} //rub

{kunyu~} //stretch

No!

I-it's going up my ass~

Okay, now Pierce!

Your fire magic!

Geez, you ride others so roughly.

{buh buh} //discontent

My friend the flame, in accordance with our blood pact, take three gorts worth of magic power

and lend me your strength! //Yeah, I'm not going to try to make this rhyme.

Pierce: Pierce has cast a "fire" spell.

<31>

Fire!

{go--} //boom

Achacha //Hot hot!

Gya-- it's hot!

Pink and Kusarimame have received 35 points of damage.

{bota} //drip

{bota} //drip

Alright!

<32>

Hehe, a medium-size pearl. Not bad!

If we sell this, we can get 50 gorts.

Santa has gained a magic pearl.

Santa, we've collected quite a few pearls, right!?

Yeah, tonight we can stay at the Princess Hotel.

Hey, aren't you being horrible!?

Pink: Level - 5 VP - 20

{haa} //pant

{haa} //pant

{haa} //pant

Pink is crying.

I felt like I was going to die. Idiot!

Shut up, barbeque girl. You've still got that much energy, so it's fine.

{keri} //kick

A~hn

{shiku} //sob

{shiku} //sob

<33>

{baza baza} //rumble rumble

{baza} //rumble

Hm?

Something

is coming this way.

{bazabaza} //rumble rumble

Hii!

{zun} //heavy

<34>

{gishie--} //creak

Ahi!

Monster: Rapewing has appeared.

<35>

Ah! Ah!

Tokagemusume //Lizard girl// is being played with.

{bikun} //twitch

Guhi!

(Ryuusuke Mita S-sorry)

{gaku} //wobble

<36>

{dosa} //thud

Santa //From right to left
Pink
Bobo
Pierce

Urine

{giroh} //glare

{gishe--} //creak

Uwa--!

<37>

{sha--} //swish

{shuru} //snake around

Kya!

Uga!

Pink!

Pink has been captured by Rapewing.

<38>

No!

Santaa! Help me!

Ahi!

{nuru--} //slip

{kuchu} //slurp

Ah~ I'm going to be eaten!

It feels gross~

<39>

Waa! Stop it stupid!

{byururu} //spurting

{jyuru} //drooling

Ukki--! I'm going to be raped!

Noo!

{nuru--} //slip

<40>

If this keeps up Pink is going to be beaten!

But as we are now, none of us can match him!

{guchu} //squish

Gyaa!

Pink has received 10 points of damage. Only 10 points left. DANGER!

(Help with the monster given by J. Fujita and Studio Kame Shaft}

Save

Dragon Pink II/End

This post has been edited by rookie84: Sep 17 2011, 11:05

When it rains (translations...), it pours, huh? (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Not that I mind (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Editing bounty for DP Ep2: https://e-hentai.org/bounty.php?bid=4404

Translation bounties for:

Episode 3: https://e-hentai.org/bounty.php?bid=4405

Episode 4: https://e-hentai.org/bounty.php?bid=4406

Episode 5: https://e-hentai.org/bounty.php?bid=4407

Episode 6: https://e-hentai.org/bounty.php?bid=4408

Bounties for eps 5 and 6 are not full, I just run out of hath. Give me about two days and they'll be up to my fair price of 1+1 for page (which of course Dlag will quadruple anyway (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)).

Volume 2 has 8 episodes total. Last one will include the end credit pages, be warned (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

This post has been edited by Red_Piotrus: Sep 17 2011, 04:41

I reckon doing it in a big chunk would probably be easier. I'm just leaving it for Red and Dlag to have a look so they can decide whether the script is what they're after.

Looks great (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Well, if romaji is self-explanatory... but often it is not. Just like we don't simply convert kanji to romaji, but actually translate, I think we should translate the SFX which are not clear. Perhaps we need more examples to see if we agree or disagree? I'll just say again that I think SFXes were done very well in the "official" version. I like what c7 did, with both the romaji and the translation in some places (now, can we fit both in the edited text...?). But if I have to chose, I'd chose the translation over the pure romaji.

As in "SFX: kira [note: or *glimmer*]" - the glimmer part, to me, is much more useful than kira.

Fine (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) In some cases it is hard to associate the SFX with the meaning.

Bounties for eps 5 and 6 are not full, I just run out of hath. Give me about two days and they'll be up to my fair price of 1+1 for page (which of course Dlag will quadruple anyway (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)).

Done.

Proofreading notes before I publish the gallery I'd like your thoughts on:

Pg06
=ge [note: as in the last two syllables of the word “Mage”. the Japanese here reads かい, which (from guessing) is the last two hiraganas of まほうつかい, the Mage class] Merchant *Slave* Bar [note: again, I am guessing the complete Japanese should read “barbarian”]

So SS send me two pages to chose from (1, 2). How about 1 page, but with a translator note? I think we can squeeze it at the bottom.

Pg07
Panel 4
=These are not much
SFX: Jala

Didn't we agree to try to translate those if possible? There a few more that are romaji, rather than translations.

Pg11
Panel 1
=Ah, Ahn
SFX: Giririri [or *tighten up*]
Panel 2
=Ahee~
=This is tight~
Pink has remembered the taste of the rope
Hentai Power 35

page link

Remembered? Are we sure? Doesn't make that much sense as "learned" or "acquired", which I think were used in the previous translations.

@1 page with translator note: it's not necessary, I'd say just keep page 1, I just put in the reasoning behind why I translated those words like that in the script in case there was any ambiguity.

@SFX: Well, I thought we agreed to Dlag's idea which was to try to preserve those in romaji? (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif) But jara is the clinking of gold coins as you drop them on the table. I guess something along the lines of *Chling*.

@remember: Yep, the Japanese certainly says "remembered" or "memorised". It's there way of using verbs. I know it sounds more English to say "learnt". (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

In this case I'd opt for less literal, more English translation with learned...

lol sure I will watch out for that next time.

BTW, do you know if there is a website or a book that has a list of all these common English SFX? I don't watch that much hentai, much less normal anime, and I hardly ever read manga, so my vocabulary of sound words is very very limited but I'd like to build it up without having to go through tons of anime and manga. (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)

BTW, do you know if there is a website or a book that has a list of all these common English SFX? I don't watch that much hentai, much less normal anime, and I hardly ever read manga, so my vocabulary of sound words is very very limited but I'd like to build it up without having to go through tons of anime and manga. (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)

https://forums.e-hentai.org/index.php?s=&am...st&p=819653 and the next post?

https://forums.e-hentai.org/index.php?s=&am...st&p=819653 and the next post?

Awesome, just what I need! (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/happy.gif) Thanks so much!

(IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) I have to admit I shamelessly lifted all the SFX translations for Episode 2 from that resource.

https://forums.e-hentai.org/index.php?s=&am...st&p=819653 and the next post?

Well hot damn, why didn't anyone inform me of this goldmine before? (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)

Awesome, just what I need! (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/happy.gif) Thanks so much!

Do you want to redo any SFX for episode 1?

And Shanko, since there are no objections, could you change the remembered to learned/acquired?

Do you want to redo any SFX for episode 1?

And Shanko, since there are no objections, could you change the remembered to learned/acquired?

I'm pretty sure those ones that I had translated into English are correct. The romaji ones, just tell me which ones don't make sense to you and I'll be happy to translate them.

I'm pretty sure those ones that I had translated into English are correct. The romaji ones, just tell me which ones don't make sense to you and I'll be happy to translate them.

episode 1 posted: https://e-hentai.org/g/412510/4bb72e8edf/

perhaps a few SFXes could use extra translation

p.4 - jala (cling?)
p.11 - bottom right, does it say rope?
p.23 - what are the SFX in the top of the bottom right panel?

also, I didn't spot it earlier, but
p.18 - I guess we should go with acquire rather than learn, and be consistent

also, I didn't spot it earlier, but
p.18 - I guess we should go with acquire rather than learn, and be consistent

Not a fan of this to be honest (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/sad.gif). "Oboeru" can mean "remember" or "memorize," and you can stretch the meaning to include "learn," but using "acquire" goes beyond free translation into rewrite territory.

ETA: Okay, I'm exaggerating about it being a rewrite, but I'm still uncomfortable with using a word that would have never occurred to me reading the original Japanese.

This post has been edited by rookie84: Sep 20 2011, 16:59

Not a fan of this to be honest (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/sad.gif). "Oboeru" can mean "remember" or "memorize," and you can stretch the meaning to include "learn," but using "acquire" goes beyond free translation into rewrite territory.

ETA: Okay, I'm exaggerating about it being a rewrite, but I'm still uncomfortable with using a word that would have never occurred to me reading the original Japanese.

I am fine with learn; but nobody voiced a strong opinion on this till now. I am sure Shanko will reedit the two pages into learn, when he stops grinding his teeth at us (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

About acquire vs learn. If this was a normal speech, I agree that oboeru is not acquire. However, this is in a bubble which pretends to be a message from a roleplaying game to the user. In Japan in RPG games, phrase 'waza o oboeru' is common, so for the translation we should get a phrase that's common in RPG games translated to English. I don't play RPG games for some time now, so I don't know what this phrase should be, 'learn a skill' and 'acquire a skill' both seem to be common phrases on Google.

This post has been edited by Dlaglacz: Sep 20 2011, 22:41

About acquire vs learn. If this was a normal speech, I agree that oboeru is not acquire. However, this is in a bubble which pretends to be a message from a roleplaying game to the user. In Japan in RPG games, phrase 'waza o oboeru' is common, so for the translation we should get a phrase that's common in RPG games translated to English. I don't play RPG games for some time now, so I don't know what this phrase should be, 'learn a skill' and 'acquire a skill' both seem to be common phrases on Google.

I was thinking along those lines, indeed, but if learn is preferred over acquire, I have no preference, they both sound like something one could see in a game. As long as we avoid the "remembered" version.