[X] My Assistant

"Being 37 years old feels exactly the same as being 36 years old, or the six years prior to that."

Nah, 35 years old (and above) is closer to 40 than 30, and make you dread stuff like midlife crisis as a result.

This post has been edited by uareader: Jul 19 2023, 20:06

Nah, 35 years old (and above) is closer to 40 than 30, and make you dread stuff like midlife crisis as a result.

Well, I don't know if that's how it works for most people, but I was speaking solely about my personal experiences. lol I've turned 37 yesterday.

This post has been edited by sunshineandlolipops: Jul 19 2023, 22:34

Tag Suggestion: Elephant Boy/Girl

We're really fucking every animal in the zoo, aren't we.

Me: *Visits the White House*
Several days later: A baggie of crystallized futa semen is found in an unattended locker.

An article claimed a coffee shop in Kuching is a "representation of Sarawak's identity and harmony". Has to be an ad promoting what otherwise is one of hundred thousands generic eatery across this god-forsaken state.

Secret Service: "No useable DNA sample was recovered."
Media: "Horseshit."
Secret Service: "It appears to be from... [files.catbox.moe] Penguins?

Me: Whew, that was some party... Oh shit, where's my stash?

I thought there was no time to rest even on holidays

Secret Service: "We also found a couple of guns and a two pound bag in the White House freezer."
Me: "Yo, can I have my Taurus back?"
Secret Service: "Sure."

It's harder and more tiring than I thought

wtf am I even doing

Buat Sendiri Cappucino Panas Seakan Kopi Barista Ternama

One simply does not use Nescafe Classic to make cappuccino. Use Nescafe Gold instead. Nescafe Classic tastes like shit.

I need to change my mindset a little

Are you not curious of your origins? Your ancestry?

Ancient Sarawakians were barbarians. They took human heads as trophies and pillage other longhouses even that of their own kind. Can't be any more than that. Oh, yeah. They also invented the shittiest wine ever.

Things that go wrong happen on a daily basis

fun

Clerk: "Isn't today a public holiday?"
Me: "It's the subcontractor that wanted to work. I wanted to rest, but subcontractor insisted to do concreting work today."
Clerk: "But isn't it today a holiday?"
Me: "Of course it is! That's why I said I wanted to rest!"
Clerk: "Well, I'm not coming down to the office today. I'm so glad I do not work at the (construction) site. Lol. 😉"

Stupid bitch. Sending me a worthless message on Whatsapp.

Even though I have things to do, I feel sleepy in the middle of the day.

Clerk: "Look! It's a fun fair! Now there's no need for you to go to Genting Highlands. ✌️"

Stupid bitch.

I'm mentally tired and don't want to think about anything

Rosy Vivian is brainless

Note: the text in a rectangle is the protagonist comment.


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Got me laughing a lot. Not sure how much is thanks to the buildup, and how much is lost if seen out of context like that.