If you think No Nut November is bad, try Over Ovulate October. My cloaca still hurts.
My day at the nuke silo: "We have a launch order. Turn your key."
Me: *checks pocket where the key is supposed to be* *checks other pocket* *checks other pocket* *gets up and starts checking every pocket in every coat on the rack...*
Finally another stupid bird pet of my Motherfucker is dying. No, I don't hate the birds, it's just that my Madafaka turns our house for humans into a Bird Nest with 20 Birds in his possession.... I & my Mother are really annoyed clean up their shits & feathers every goddamn moment.
"And everywhere there are the disintegrating bodies, slowly melting into the..." "Are you having a vision? Is this PTSD?" "No, I'm in my kitchen. I'm a bit behind on my cleaning."