[X] My Assistant

I'd suggest you both to try and empty your mind through doing whatever is supposed to help you do so when this happens.

What the hell does this even mean?

I don't know, that's what went through my mind. Listen to whatever CD is on the desk, play shitty games, read books. Or just sleep and get some rest.

This post has been edited by Mika Kurogane: Apr 19 2012, 08:11

How unproductive.

That's how I feel every day when I try and do something.

ADDENDUM : Self-awareness seems to be transient. That's pretty sad.

This post has been edited by Mika Kurogane: Apr 19 2012, 08:24

I'm not hating. Not anyone, and not myself. Things just are, and hating doesn't change them, except it would probably hurt me.
I didn't ever hate though, so I don't know how to stop hating. I seem to be devoid of anger. Except for short bursts sometimes, but these are seconds at most.

You can't be productive if you have no goal to work towards. You can spend your time on keeping outward semblance of being productive, fool other people and try to fool yourself about it, but without the goal you believe in, you can run all you want and there won't be any progress.

I visited a psychologist today, as part of the quest to find out why the hell I'm not resting in my free time lately. She seems intelligent enough to understand what I'm saying, grasp all the hypoteses about myself I outlined so far, and with enough self-control not to fall asleep through the ordeal. She suggested another meeting, presumably to continue the flow of words, and complemented me on my grasp of part of my feelings and the world around me, and on my general intelligence. Possibly I'll be able to reduce my disappointment about the world and its denizens through such meetings, find some hope and learn to be able to trust more people, even if that requires forgetting how uninformed about their surroundings and erratic in their actions they usually are. The point is to feel happy, not to prove happiness anyway. Time will tell.

So the "Battleship" movie is 1 battleship vs 1 alien warship? Not a battle between fleets of battleship?

I didn't ever hate though, so I don't know how to stop hating. I seem to be devoid of anger. Except for short bursts sometimes, but these are seconds at most.

Then you answered your own question. You know how to stop hating, except it might appear as an instinct rather than self-control.

You can't be productive if you have no goal to work towards. You can spend your time on keeping outward semblance of being productive, fool other people and try to fool yourself about it, but without the goal you believe in, you can run all you want and there won't be any progress.

I set myself goals every single day. So does my mother. If we didn't, we'd probably both stay in our beds all day long. All of those probably are pointless goals, but they are required.

It's a good thing you seem to get along with your psychologist on your very first contact. Catharsis takes a lot of time and you'll probably get the feeling you are running in circles, just through different paths and back to square one at some point. As long as you are willing to do it and feel benefits, it's worth a try. Feeling happy is the ultimate goal, vanquishing your lack of feelings - or rather emotional hardships, can't really come up with a decent word for what you seem to experience - should be the priority. She might tell you something along those lines.

Oh fuck, wall of text again. Well, whatever, fuck this shit.

This post has been edited by Mika Kurogane: Apr 19 2012, 14:37

Thought:I've got to check out that other Dario Fo DVD.The one about la Divina Commedia.

Post:Take it easy.Stop and smell the roses every once in a while.Even if you still don't have a goal it doesn't mean you have to find one at any cost, if you just relax for a while it will eventually come to you.

This post has been edited by Zoro the Gallade: Apr 19 2012, 15:05

Zobaken.

Buy a dog.

[www.eurogamer.net] New Silent Hill movie in cinemas this October
God damn, I have to wait until October?

Dog -> Doghouse -> Silent Hill.

And, just what I thought would happen, the first song I started working on for this album will be the last one to be released because I probably have to start over completely.

What a mess.

What a mess...

Being euphoric without going into euphoria is retarded.

Listening to 413's old rant about RHL3 reminded me of this thread.

I didn't even know who the man was but after reading the Wikipedia article, it makes sense.

I don't know what's more sad about this: the fact that a member of the clergy ranks that high or that I can't find any military positions on there.

Silly Americans.

Nurses deserve a 100 prestige score. Fuck physicians.

I don't know what's more sad about this: the fact that a member of the clergy ranks that high or that I can't find any military positions on there.

Silly Americans.

That table is bullshit.

I don't know what's more sad about this: the fact that a member of the clergy ranks that high or that I can't find any military positions on there.

Silly Americans.

You stupid fatso. Even I know that your brand of work is labeled as "green collar" and thus entirely not present on the list.

You stupid fatso.

I'm not fat, I'm fluffy : (