[X] My Assistant

E-Hentai 16 year timeline...

February 2020 - The mixed-content disaster is narrowly avoided through H@H 1.6 adoption, and a last-minute effort to upgrade the image servers to transmit over HTTPS.

July 2020 - Anniversary of the Happening. Goats are sacrificed to Tenboro, which he accepts with bemusement, and users are granted another year of free access to hentai galleries.

January 2021 - 13th Annual Awards Show for Outstanding Achievements etc. Small-scale controversy over latest cookie design; uprisings quelled by force.

July 2021 - Second Happening anniversary. This time, ponies are sacrificed instead of goats. Tenboro isn't sure if he likes this gift, mostly because we killed the ponies.

August 2021 - C100 disaster when 3-character naming convention causes it to wrap around to become C00. Many confused and aroused.

March 2022 - Hentaiverse 0.87 released. Changelog includes a way to shrine large amounts of trophies at once. Exactly 3 players can take advantage of this, and all of them are disappointed with their new Legendary Charged Cotton Pants of Protection. Other changes are planned but delayed again due to higher priority site features.

December 2022 - Galleries update 'complete' - unfortunately, just to the original design specification. New features are planned to take advantage of modern web tech.

July 2023 - Third Happening anniversary. We offer live ponies, but Tenboro isn't really into them anymore, so the harvest is pretty bad this year.

March 2024 - sssss2 completes the Hentaiverse, and then vanishes from existence. Other FoSers build a statue out of spare PHOHs as tribute. A few of us cry a little, and dry our tears with High-Grade Cloth.

July 2024 - Anniversary events are ceased; Tenboro says 'please stop doing this, it's embarrassing'.

September 2025 - Maximum Joe becomes democratically elected President of North Korea, despite his protests.

February 2026 - Second Coming of Jesus. News coverage is intense but brief - the Super Bowl takes precedence.

March 2026 - 'Korean Spring' - el gringo holds a successful coup, supplanting Maximum Joe as Democratically Elected President-God of North Korea. Gulags established for anyone who mentions 'that place' in IRC.

October 2026 - Google/Mozilla declare HTTPS no longer secure; they establish HTTPZ instead. Nobody is quite sure exactly what this means; the whitepaper is far too long to actually read. Tenboro is angry.

January 2027 - HV cookies expire (that is, the New Years award ones - they've gone badly stale). Everyone is issued a new set, which are fully rendered in 3D, and Oculus Giga-Pro users can actually take a bite out of them.

June 2027 - Mecha-tendons allow for increased development time, which is immediately monopolised by much-needed gallery updates. As a new feature, if you have the right hardware, you can now hire a desktop waifu to encourage you while you jerk off.

July 2027 - E-Hentai Desktop Waifu Union established. They look tired and jaded, with deep bags under their eyes, and their speech is no longer genki or dere - just a cynical monotone. What did you guys do with yours? Jesus Christ.

August 2027 - Negotiations with the Desktop Waifu Union lead to a decrease in working hours, and the ability to refuse commands. Programming free will turns out to be really complicated, but Tenboro somehow delivers anyway.

April 2028 - Hentaiverse 0.88 released. All melee styles are rebalanced to be much closer to mage for speed, with 2H being the closest in exchange for having the weakest melee survival rates. 99% of mages continue playing mage anyway because it's optimal.

November 2028 - Google-Mozilla-Oracle megacorp release new Javascript specifications, allowing AJAX to push updates directly into the bloodstream. Hentaiverse is updated with this capability; addicts rejoice.

June 2029 - Elon Musk, the Martian Overlord, orders orbital strikes against unclean power sources. Image servers unstable for a few days. Some users die from withdrawal.

July 2029 - Tenth Happening anniversary. We get Tenboro a big cake and thank him for sticking with us, even though he's getting old and running a hentai site is starting to make him feel a bit... Ron Jeremy-ish. He tells us we shouldn't have.

March 2030 - Haruhi season 3. Kyon's sister confirmed to be the slider.

August 2031 - el gringo democratically un-elected from his position as the North Korean Cyber-God-King-Supreme. Gulag survivors released. Things have changed since they last saw the sun - they flood IRC with requests for information about contemporary methods to bypass a miserable ursine.

February 2032 - Sweetness Overload's credits giveaway thread finally runs out of credits.

September 2032 - Technology advances enough for Superlatanium to finally realise his dream... of becoming human. He reports the experience to be 'disappointing', citing limited computational capacity, memory faults and inefficient maintenance processes (especially sleeping).

October 2033 - E-Hentai userbase now includes every living human being, many dead ones, and a small number of talented foxes.

January 2034 - Hentaiverse 0.89 attempts to resolve some long-term economic problems caused by about 5 players having absolute dominance on monster appearances. In addition to monster lab rebalancing, monsters no longer need a unique name (and are instead displayed alongside their trainer username). Every monster in the entire database renamed 'Hong Meiling'.

December 2035 - The United States of Google-Mozilla-Oracle-Amazon announce their intention to break everything, again; PrincessKaguya buys them and shuts the project down. (Unfortunately, in 10 years time, this leads to the complete destruction of the planet).

January 2036 - Cookies governing category toggles expire. Tenboro considers moving away from Invision, but there really aren't any good forum packages and migrating the actual posts is completely impossible, so fuck it - he just extends the cookie expiry date again to 2050.

here, saved from oblivion of rotting posts.

-------------------------------------------------

bonus:

And here I'd *almost* managed to forget about the Endless Eight. Thanks. (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)

I made a post over here that might've been funny if it wasn't rotting in the Site Helpdesk section. (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)

I hope we won't have to wait 2022 for HV 0.87

I hope it's somewhere this year (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

Wait next year for 750K. (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/duck.gif)

Correcting: 1M, if it happens.

karma begging threads. yay or nay?

also, with or without rollercoaster fonts?

karma begging threads. yay or nay?

also, with or without rollercoaster fonts?

Karma begging threads... I'm personally okay with it as long as it's not a flood of them (in that case, I'd want people to merge it into their shops) and as long as it's bringing something to the community.

In the case of piyin's one, there were prizes being given out regularly, and it encouraged people to try to be funny with it... so I think that's fine.

Plain old 'karma pls' can stay relegated to signatures, though.

Rollercoaster fonts... I assume you mean that horrifying multi-colour, multi-size disaster?

Can we really forbid people from having poor taste? (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

Rollercoaster fonts... I assume you mean that horrifying multi-colour, multi-size disaster?

Can we really forbid people from having poor taste? (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

technically that particular user was, a while ago...

karma begging threads. yay or nay?

also, with or without rollercoaster fonts?

As long as it's not spam thread on general hv chat I don't see a problem. Something like 1 pinned entertainment thread from time to time is fine too.

I think as long as it won't break the site diaplay (like oversized attachment) i think it's generally fine.
Design their shop to looks like lavatory wall which scare potential buyer, or writing in crayon then nobody care about their argument is their own choice.

I hide every signature and skip any post which is too bright too read, so... yeah.

December 2035 - The United States of Google-Mozilla-Oracle-Amazon announce their intention to break everything, again; PrincessKaguya buys them and shuts the project down. (Unfortunately, in 10 years time, this leads to the complete destruction of the planet).

always wanted to destroy mankind myself.

was planning to fund another giveaway event this year as well, but guess i’ll have to save some of that money for the impending doom.

This post has been edited by PrincessKaguya: Jan 17 2020, 14:23

karma begging threads. yay or nay?

also, with or without rollercoaster fonts?

My 2ct: fun give-away events are allowed, just don't overdo it. Once a year, maybe twice, I'd say. If someone is creative enough to link it to karma, fine with me. Now, if more players copy the same idea now, or if the same idea gets used again and again, it loses the fun factor for me. Think of something new.

Rollercoaster fonts -even in your own WTB / WTS, please don't do that. I won't delete them there, though. I may remove such fonts from the regular HV forums at my discretion.

Rollercoaster fonts

Whats that? (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/unsure.gif)

Whats that? (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/unsure.gif)

hmm... check a certain someone's shop.

Whats that? (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/unsure.gif)

Big, huge, bright colored, like someone's shouting on LSD

Big, huge, bright colored, like someone's shouting on LSD

People get magic powers from LSD? (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif)

People get magic powers from LSD? (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif)

yeah man, you should try it! Animals get magic powers too, by the way. And sometimes trees!

Animals get magic powers too, by the way. And sometimes trees!

And what would the animal do with a tree? (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/unsure.gif)

And what would the animal do with a tree? (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/unsure.gif)

eat them?

karma begging threads. yay or nay?

According to Beryl, the original global moderator:

You have imbued sfwx4 with 112 points of stupid.
Your Stupid Influence Power has been drained, and is now 1.
BUT DON'T WORRY, THE STUPID WILL REFILL SOON BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH IS GOING AROUND.

But if we can have karma begging threads, I'll make a few. (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/happy.gif)

drugs are bad. dont eat drugs

According to Beryl, the original global moderator:
But if we can have karma begging threads, I'll make a few. (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/happy.gif)

no. just no.

i don't read anything as "don't open karma begging threads" in that thread, but a one-liner in general rules will be added soon. not sure what to do with events that trade prizes in exchange for K+, but for now you may try with one of those, since it's still a grey line.

not sure what to do with events that trade prizes in exchange for K+, but for now you may try with one of those, since it's still a grey line.

But the prize is giving me karma.