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The origin of life:
A man had a very naughty dog, he fed him a vegan diet because he was against animal cruelty. This dog would stare at small rodents and cats, he wanted to eat them so badly. He salivated when he smelled steak in the air.
The dog was very pissed off, he was being lectured by his owner then he finally snapped.
He bit his owned on the hand, drawing a trickle of blood which he tasted, the first taste of many to come.
He ran off and found a small mouse, he ate the mouse and felt his belly soothed. Oh he wished for more meat. He then found a couple eating a steak, he leapt and grabbed the steak and gnawed on it. He was quite pleased.
He spend the next few hours scavenging for meat, he was getting plumper, he found his first cat and ate him. He thought this was not enough. He then broke into the zoo and found a baby orangutan and ate his very first hominid.
So plump was he that he crept back to the spot where he saw his owner last time and slept, waiting for him to arrive again to find him. He then saw him, he would finish what he started, he lunged at him and devoured him and felt fuller than ever.
He was getting quite heavy from feasting.
He hid then for the next few hours began attacking the weak and old before moving his way up to fully grown humans, eating some squirrels along the way for relish. He was growing heavier and heavier then he found a horse, he at the horse and grew bigger, then a cow, then a truck of pigs, he was in the span of half a day so plump he began knocking over cars and telephone poles.
The police arrived, they opened fire upon him but the bullets all bounced off his body and he lunged and devoured them growing bigger, fatter, and more evil. He spent the next hour terrozing the city, growing bigger until he knocked buildings down...
He made his way across the country creating giant craters with each of his steps, he drank a lake dry, he kept devouring every being as the fat bastard he become then he came across nothing until the whole world was lifeless.
He then fell asleep, that was a busy afternoon for him.
Then here we are many years later, suffering from the aftermath of this world extinction, I am here to share with you the tale ye have all forgotten.
The End
The dangers of racism:
An adventurer crossed beyond the the thickets to the Jungles and got lost, then he heard screeching, an Orangutan charged at him then he ran then shot the Orangutan.
Then two Orangutans appeared, he began running and jumped up a tree and hid.
The Orangutans followed after him but he shot one and kept trying to escape.
Then a whole squadron of Orangutans appeared and gave him chase, he leapt across a ridge and the following Orangutans fellow down the ridge.
But then a large tribe of Orangutan in the hundreds followed after him next, he ran and ran until he found a village, they opened fire on the Orangutans gunning them down, but that was not enough for MORE Orangutans arrived, and endless charge of them some with sticks some with rocks, and for the next several hours they did battle but each of the villagers was worn down by the endless charge of Orangutans until our adventurer ran away as the lone survivor.
Then there were so many Orangutans chasing him they began stumbling over each other to get to him, he couldn't believe it, the trees and roads and plains were nothing but a sea of Orange so he ran and ran until he came across a hill but then in the distance a great literal wave of Orangutans came flowing, there were countless Orangutans stampeding over each other only to be crushed by the wave of Orangutans one after another a huge wall that would put a zombie horde to shame.
Our adventurer saw in the distance the village was engulfed in Orangutans and all around he saw them getting closer to him A GIGANTIC TSUNAMI OF ORANGUTANS!!!
They began covering the earth and the rivers and lakes were piling high with Orangutans causing towns and villages and cities to be destroyed by the earthquake and flooding ensuing.
Nukes exploded in the distance but then wave of more Orangutans flooded into the craters.
Then he realized the weight of what he had done.
This post has been edited by weegeeweegeeweegee: May 1 2025, 18:32
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Bedtime stories
May 1 2025, 14:34
