[X] My Assistant

Actually, I have a problem. I always feel guilty for masturbating to some character from some anime or franchise.

For example, I fap to a rape scene involving Princess Peach. Let's imagine that she is my waifu whom I love. How can I not feel like I betrayed my love for her? Or if I watched and fap to a humiliating hentai with her participation, then have I already betrayed her?

How do artists who draw hentai watch regular anime? Do they have professional deformation and see rapes everywhere? For example, some Shindol watches the anime Bleach. What does he imagine seeing the girls there? Or can hentai artists differentiate between these things?

I have a problem that when watching anime, I automatically began to imagine rape scenes with girls during the plot. For example, someone was taken prisoner and what happened off-screen.

Because of my moral self-flagellation, I feel guilty for such fantasies, because rape is unpleasant for me. But when watching hentai or a fantasy with hentai characters, I can't help but get excited by it. I kind of imagine "what would this artist think here" and imagine myself as a hentai artist who imagines an innocent character being raped in his dodginshi.

I need to collect a lot of opinions. To stop my obsessive compulsive disorder. I think so. Because my thoughts are looped. Each of the paragraphs is strange, I understand. If you want to chew it for me, I will be glad.

I do not moralize because I myself fap to a lot of bad content. I separate fantasy and reality. But due to the frequent involvement of anime characters, I feel attached to them and anxious when I start fantasizing or reading dirty hentai dodginshi with them.

How do you separate the original character from his hentai version? I need someone else's experience, because I seem to have forgotten how to do it. And I want to learn not to feel guilty when I fap to another ahegao from a girl broken by an orgasm.

Sorry for the long post. Also I used a translator and could have written something strange. Thanks for your help in advance.

It is quite possible that I am stuck in this cycle of self-reflection and cannot evaluate things adequately from the outside. Please keep this in mind.

I hate that kind of shit and I don't look at it. Problem solved.

accept that rule 34 exists and has always existed and will always exist. fantasy is fantasy.

This post has been edited by elvendrunk: Mar 18 2025, 02:17

It sounds like you still have a soul.

I traded mine in for some pogs when I was a kid and never looked back.

What are you younguns into these days?

Airpods?

This post has been edited by Mags_: Mar 18 2025, 08:41

Was that a question? I just didn't quite get it. Well, I'm far from young. But as you can see, my brain is probably stuck somewhere at an earlier age since I'm bothered by such strange questions about fictional worlds.

I usually just play games, watch anime, nothing special.

I just don't know what I want and what answer I'm looking for. I want something satisfying to understand that creative people are not bad in themselves, and attributing their fantasies to their character is unfair. I lack some depth of understanding of this.

I myself have kind of fapped a lot to questionable content. I even generated all sorts of perverted hentai things with all sorts of fetishes for myself through AI. Or all sorts of scenes in the chat. That's why I myself am very attached to this. I want to somehow stop feeling guilty in front of fictional characters and their concepts in my head.

But for now it feels like an endless cycle of thoughts and self-reflection from which there is probably no way out. Just wait until this storm subsides while doing some kind of sport.

You are engaging with a fantasy. There is nothing wrong with engaging with such. No guilt to feel, as it's not real. No one has come to harm, save perhaps the millions of cells in a tissue or abused erotic bits.

I feel like my platonic love for a fictional character was damaged by watching something I couldn't resist. I think that's the shortest and most succinct way to describe how I feel.

I think I felt something similar when I saw a guro scene of my first waifu when I got my first modem in the mid-2000s lol

As several of the prev answers point out, it's about highlighting the difference between fantasy and reality

Even though I have my fav characters, I don't see them as something I should swear loyalty to with pure thoughts and shit, so if you are in one of those where you love your waifu so much that you would marry her, please rethink your way of seeing things

(IMG:[i.ibb.co] https://i.ibb.co/HD1tJmKp/pov-to-marry-a-waifu.jpg)

I never fell into this since I learned that while I'm watching hentai I consider myself a fictosexual so I can fap to an incest orgy, harem, kodomo trap, or any other kinky fetish that makes me feel refreshed from my daily routine. But then IRL, I identify as demisexual, meaning I'm very vanilla and have never been tempted to experience anything I like to see in doujins or 3DPD porn vids

I wouldn't say this is bipolar disorder, but simply like someone who has one way of behaving at their office and a different one at home. If you don't want to feel remorse just separate your private fetishes as a netizen and your concept of platonic love should not be affected

Reality is harsh, but you must accept it

(IMG:[i.ibb.co] https://i.ibb.co/wFTxNBDw/waifu-not-real.jpg)

Even though I have my fav characters, I don't see them as something I should swear loyalty to with pure thoughts and shit, so if you are in one of those where you love your waifu so much that you would marry her, please rethink your way of seeing things

This is not about that, to be honest. This is more about the fact that you go to extremes if you think that I think so. But that's okay. This will be a good reason to correct the subtleties.

Just imagine that, let's say, you watched some anime where a female character achieved something, protected the world, etc. Showed some moral, like protect, be kind, etc. At that moment, you're like "wow, this is so cool, I want to be like that too, she's cool." And an hour later, you're already sitting and fapping to some perverted hentai. As if 26 episodes of anime teaching something were simply wasted and you simply didn't get anything out of it.

Like "bro, why did they try to show you some good things with 26 episodes? So that you would just go fapping to hentai like a monkey"


But I got some points anyway.

Was that a question? I just didn't quite get it. Well, I'm far from young. But as you can see, my brain is probably stuck somewhere at an earlier age since I'm bothered by such strange questions about fictional worlds.

I usually just play games, watch anime, nothing special.

I just don't know what I want and what answer I'm looking for. I want something satisfying to understand that creative people are not bad in themselves, and attributing their fantasies to their character is unfair. I lack some depth of understanding of this.

I myself have kind of fapped a lot to questionable content. I even generated all sorts of perverted hentai things with all sorts of fetishes for myself through AI. Or all sorts of scenes in the chat. That's why I myself am very attached to this. I want to somehow stop feeling guilty in front of fictional characters and their concepts in my head.

But for now it feels like an endless cycle of thoughts and self-reflection from which there is probably no way out. Just wait until this storm subsides while doing some kind of sport.

I was joking around there.

It seems that you have a lot to unpack.

Do you have a mentor/father figure you can talk to about this?

Or perhaps a therapist.

I'm not being facetious when I say that to you.

You sound quite detached and I believe no amount of self evaluation is going to provide you with a palatable answer.

You feel guilt about works of fiction.

The people who write fiction usually don't anticipate how some elements of their fandoms are going to behave.

You can take any idea and corrupt it.

Doing so is a measure of yourself and nobody else.

There are exceptions to this but I feel you would be better served asking someone with a degree instead of the internet.

This post has been edited by Mags_: Mar 18 2025, 16:57

your post was more informative and helpful than you think. Thank you.

But yes. I need to learn to accept people's dark sides, including my own. And understand the complexity of human nature. It would seem that I thought that I was reflecting on nonsense. But it seems that this is a basic thing that I just need to learn to accept.

your post was more informative and helpful than you think. Thank you.

I'm happy my post was of some use to you.

Remember that most of us are weird in some way.

GOOD thread. I learned somethings new as well.

Maybe don't fap to it then. Literally no one is forcing you to look up this stuff.

I very rarely watch hentai of anything I have the slightest interest in outside of hentai. Shows I've seen, characters from games I like, hell even vtubers I might watch. I keep the two separate.
Then there are franchises like Love Live that I have zero interest in, but have produced a ton of good hentai parodies. At this point I even recognize a bunch of the characters despite never having seen any of the actual show. Game? Multi-media franchise? I'm not even sure what it is.

You are engaging with a fantasy. There is nothing wrong with engaging with such. No guilt to feel, as it's not real. No one has come to harm, save perhaps the millions of cells in a tissue or abused erotic bits.

There is exactly one person that can be harmed by this, and it's OP. Clearly he feels he has been and wants to avoid it in the future. As unbelievable as it may sound, something that only happens inside a person's thoughts may impact their own mental wellbeing. Crazy, right?

There's nothing wrong with caring about fictional characters or feeling guilty for your own thoughts. The latter is pretty much necessary for a society or even a simple individual to function, and the former is what the whole concept of fictional stories relies on. Otherwise what would even be the point? Why would folk tales and novels excite people or movies keep drawing in audiences if not for our ability to care about fictional beings? We all know movies aren't real and the events didn't take place, yet we're still interested.

As for "feeling guilty for your own thoughts", not just rape fantasies, guilt is a completely natural feeling and part of the process of one's own personal growth, a tool to guide it, and a good metric to judge your own actions by. A person's thoughts are what define their entire life experience, and like it or not, we have to occupy our mind 24/7. It's just that when the topic of touching your wee wee to get the funny feels comes up, suddenly for the porn addict all common sense goes out the window. You can't possibly say there could be anything wrong with something that causes short-term pleasure! That's fascism or something.

I symphatize with OP somewhat, and that is why I've long ago adopted the practice of separation I outlined above. It's not really a question of "protecting the purity of my waifu", more like not wanting to conflate some pervert's titty drawings with characters who inside my head already have defined personalities and story arcs. If I'm just looking to bust a nut, I can do that just fine to some generic anime girl.
I see no reason to try and look for justifications as to why it's accchtually a good idea to fap to rape porn of your favorite characters or whatever even if that makes the person feel icky, when you can simply choose not to.

This post has been edited by kotitonttu: Mar 20 2025, 01:16

Well. If you try to throw out the context with the waifu (although it is still present). I feel an endless cycle of self-torture. A lot of contradictions. For example, I don't like rape - but I get excited by rape. I look for excuses not to get excited or not to watch content with rape -> I feel like a coward running away from it and my brain is like "go jerk off further, are you a loser or something?"

I get really excited by obvious artists - Asanagi, Shindol, Takeda Hiromitsu. Lol I know them all, it's even funny. Their work is beautiful - and it pisses me off. I want to tell myself that "ugh, such things are misogynistic shit and it's disgusting." I would be glad to end it there, but the cycle is fueled by the thought that "it's beautifully drawn." It pisses me off that the most beautiful hentai is drawn in the NTR and rape genres. Either I'm not looking hard enough or the counterweights are too weak.

The ahegao face completely disarms my brain. I don't understand how you can be so perverted as to sit and draw this face for years. When I feel exhausted from fap after the 5th time and continue to stupidly get excited by the context and facial expressions. At the same time, I watch how many people calmly discuss these things, or joke about it. But I can't do anything like that because it just explodes me with excitement and I can't treat it calmly or jokingly.

It's not that I need any help from a psychologist. But I would be glad to discuss these topics with someone who is also familiar with this. Because none of my friends are into this. And working through these things only with AI chat is tiring.

To be brief. I want to stop admiring these works, because my admiration > develops into masturbation. And every time I experience an unpleasant aftertaste precisely from the content. Although I understand that if rape (in hentai) excites me, then I can’t do anything about it. But it pisses me off that such things have started to sprout in regular anime while watching. Some girl is proud and strong with superpowers? My brain immediately wants to throw up ideas on how to break her. As if I feel some kind of coolness in being like these authors. I want to stop seeing coolness in them. But the quality of the art doesn’t allow me to do this, as does my arousal from their work. Well, I would also like to learn not to get angry at these authors, thinking that they are all misogynists. It’s hard for me not to think so.

A LOT OF TEXT. I hope I’ll get out of this cycle soon. Well... or just fap to every manga until I get tired of it?

The best way to not feel guilty after reading questionable content is either to not cum or to reaffirm to yourself that you would never do that or never let that happen to you. Simplified answer ofc

The best way to not feel guilty after reading questionable content is either to not cum or to reaffirm to yourself that you would never do that or never let that happen to you. Simplified answer ofc

Simple is good too thanks.

Let's do a little thought experiment.

Imagine you went online and told people "I frequently think about hurting people. Sometimes I spend several hours lying in bed fantasizing about causing physical harm to others. I even make up imaginary people and scenarios to fuel these thoughts." what type of responses would you expect? What type of response would you give to someone asking for help with that?

I'd imagine something along the lines of "That's not healty. You clearly have some unresolved issues. These types of repeating thought patterns may very well be contributing to your mental anguish/depression/anxiety etc. Have you tried talking to a therapist?"

But replace that with "I masturbate to the fantasy of rape" and suddenly the responses you'd get on a site like Reddit would be "That's in fact perfectly fine and anyone who says otherwise is a kink-shaming bigot. You're not hurting anybody!"

Does this seem sensible or logical to you? If anything the second experience should be more intense, as now you're even conditioning your brain's reward systems to the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine and endorphine with these dark thoughts. Could it just be that some people don't want to admit they're doing something unhealthy for themselves or give up their little jerk off routines so they came up with some arbitrary bullshit to try and explain it away?

If you frame it like that, it might help explain why you're feeling the way you are. It's not feeling guilt that is the problem here, it's repeating behavior that's causing you to experience guilt. If you're struggling with trying to avoid this stuff, the absolute best way is to simply not look at it at all, not starting down the rabbit hole and then trying to moderate yourself when you've already got a hard on. You can block tags on this website, or you can use different internet content blockers if you truly can't help yourself. There are plenty of tools online for people who struggle with staying away from whatever type of content creates a problem for them.

I understand your idea. In principle, I described something similar, but very incoherently. It is logical that it is easier to avoid this, but I feel some kind of envy that someone does not go crazy over these things and calmly digests them. And I have to run away with my tail between my legs because of my weakness.

But there are no flaws in your logic. But only that I am not trying to evade. But I directly express my vulgar part without hiding it.

Does this seem sensible or logical to you? If anything the second experience should be more intense, as now you're even conditioning your brain's reward systems to the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine and endorphine with these dark thoughts. Could it just be that some people don't want to admit they're doing something unhealthy for themselves or give up their little jerk off routines so they came up with some arbitrary bullshit to try and explain it away?

The pun is that I know that part of me likes it. No doubt about it. But at the same time, I don't like that I like it. I can see how the excitement from the dominant scenes completely destroys all the rational logic that I'm trying to build in my head. Just one picture or a slight memory of the plot I read immediately distorts my logic.

It makes sense that it would be easier to forbid myself these tags. I just need to somehow convince myself that I'm not retreating but simply setting boundaries for myself. But for some reason my brain still shows me some perverted nerd who laughs at me, showing me pictures with ahegao, saying that I'm a coward and not perverted enough. For some reason, I admire people with low morals and other dark things.

This post has been edited by nagisasss: Mar 20 2025, 10:21

I know that part of me likes it. No doubt about it. But at the same time, I don't like that I like it.

Deriving pleasure from something that you regret in the long run is not a rare phenomenon at all nor is it limited to whatever it is you're doing.

For some reason, I admire people with low morals and other dark things.

Yeah that's called being a adolescent. Pretty sure most people have gone through something similar.