[X] My Assistant

I'm always happy when I look at the clock and the time is something like 10:01 or 22:22 (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

Eddy: I just somehow looked at my post count and it read "2112" (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

This post has been edited by Benjiro: Nov 3 2011, 11:24

I'm always happy whenever I look at my clock and see time.

As opposed to, like, a spider or something.

Isn't it somehow stupid?
We're happy for looking at something that doesn't really exist and is still constantly running away from us.
There was a time when I hated time(god, that sounds stupid) because nature doesn't look at a watch.
Damn, something in this post is missing, but I can't set my mind to it....
*sigh* I don't even get the chance to like order....

Don;t get all weemo on us, Benji. A maudlin personality doesn't suit ya.

You couldn't imagine the things that suit me. Your asshole on my crotch for example (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

WOAHAOW!

It's like I don't even know who you are anymore!

Like anybody knows anyone in here...
.....
....
...
....I can already hear Rad's voice....

It's like I don't even know who you are anymore!

I kinda get what you mean though: I just wasted twenty minutes of my life attempting to have my mother make sense for at least once...
Next thing I know is that I'm going to attempt to walk on water...

This post has been edited by Benjiro: Nov 4 2011, 01:42

I can already hear Rad's voice

This is true.

Whaw, that was fast... Do you have a program that tells you when your name is being mentioned? (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

...Or did it just feel like that because I've been busy trying to convince a moth to leave my room because I'm afraid of it?
That pesky bugger ignored any peacful attempt and in the end I had to catch him AND the glass I used to catch him with slipped out of my hands and flew two stories deep out of the window...
I'm afraid I killed it....Why couldn't that asshole just listen??
...Must have been a butterfly... (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/dry.gif)

You couldn't imagine the things that suit me. Your asshole on my crotch for example (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

(IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/mellow.gif)

I.... Never mind.

I still hate time. Not the concept of time, but just society's apparent need to impose limits on time. I hate schedules. I'd be quite comfortable with my inclination to stay up late and sleep during the day if everyone I knew wasn't constantly forcing me to do stuff during the day.

What gets on my nerves about time is when people aren't punctual. People who set up schedules, expecting others to follow them, and then not following the schedule should be taken out back and skinned with a plastic spoon. Don't fucking waste my time, asshole.

I still can't add users with underscores in their names to my ignore list.

Dammit...

(IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) My "morning" (It's ~3:PM) was like straight out of the movies:


I woke up and felt horrible and had bad mood, but I had to get up, because my mother was calling, it had something to do with shopping, I don't remember...

Because my head was killing me, I decided to go back into the bed, listening to some music...

After a while, I heard the door bell. "Oh shit, my mother!"(I talk in teal from now on)

Like a gorilla that accidentally sat down on a scorpion, I started rushing through the room, half asleep, to find something to cover my naked body with.
BUT THERE WERE NO PANTS! (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif)

Already hearing her coming closer to our door two stories upstairs, I ran into the living room, where a pile of fresh clothes was waiting for me..

Unfortunately, I didn't check my surroundings on the way there and WHAMMED my head at the chandelier that was hanging way too deep since I can remember us having it.(The reason apparently was "If we hung it higher, it would look stupid")

Almost collapsing due to the sudden shock and pain, but therefore finally fully awake now, I grabbed the next pair of trousers of which I thought it'd be mine and prepared to bring the food up from the car, sort it out in the kitchen and enduring my mother's usually bad mood. (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/dry.gif)

Fortunately, my mother was in a exceptionally good mood, as I noticed, besides that she didn't shout at me, on one special bottle that I didn't expect to find amongst the goods in one of the shopping bags:

"Ah, you bought that fake asian wine! Great! Thanks!" "Yeah, well, you asked me to do! I also got one for myelf and [name of her boyfriend]" "Let's see..... Ginger and Orange.... interesting..."

Before even sorting out the rest of the stuff, I got a corkscrew and smelled on the freshly-opened bottle like some sort of semi-proffessional.
And then, without having washed my face, less to say having any breakfast, I took a hearty gulp of that sweet beverage. (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif)
I was surprised about my own behaviour, more so since I didn't have any alcohol since August, but I couldn't care less.
It just felt good.
As if I fully deserved it for whatever happened to me this "morning" or any other bad day really.... (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)

Still ignoring my chores, I prepared a cooking pan and spilled some of the wine into it. while heating up the stove, since that wine was supposed to be warmed up before drinking.

By now, I have finally washed my face and done my chores and now I'm sitting here, writing this funny little story, finishing my cup of the, by the way very tasty, warm beverage and laughing at myself. (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

I already feel a bit doozy in the head..... I assume that's what happens when you drink alcohol on an empty stomach, after completely avoiding it for more than two months. (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

Whatever, In my opinion, this day started awesome(Which is why I wanted to share it with you (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/heh.gif)), I'm looking forward to see the rest of it! (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/happy.gif)

CHEERS! (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

This post has been edited by Benjiro: Nov 4 2011, 16:26

Where am I and why am I in this handbasket?

I started rushing through the room, half asleep, to find something to cover my naked body with.

Hawt. Did you have morning wood?

If I understand correctly what "morning wood" means, then of course!
I mean, that's perfectly normal at 2PM with a dreaded and hated mother in approach! (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)




Soooo, how was my first attempt at "the lowest form of wits"? (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
I think it feels a bit forced.... I'm gonna play star wars now...

This post has been edited by Benjiro: Nov 4 2011, 22:26

I think the world... scratch that, that's pretty simplistic of me. I think America was a slightly better place years back, when the popular mindset included "It takes a village to raise a child."

Simply put, things were better when you were allowed to smack a total stranger's kid if he was being an obnoxious little douche. Now, people are just jumping for a chance to get all up in arms if you lay a finger on their kid, but you know what? If you aren't willing to discipline your child, or at least teach them how to behave in a social environment, it's the right of the community/anyone who has to deal with your kid to teach them, be it the hard way or soft way.






How very old-fashioned of me. I'm lamenting days gone by about 40 years too early.

If I understand correctly what "morning wood" means, then of course!
I mean, that's perfectly normal at 2PM with a dreaded and hated mother in approach! (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)
Soooo, how was my first attempt at "the lowest form of wits"? (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
I think it feels a bit forced.... I'm gonna play star wars now...

Morning wood can occur at any point of the day when woken from sleep.

How very old-fashioned of me. I'm lamenting days gone by about 40 years too early.

I'm with you, I wouldn't goin' all Bing Crosby upside some little shit's head acting up in a grocery store.

I kind of doubt beating kids really does anything to modify their behavior, outside of maybe shutting them up for a few minutes. I doubt that makes up for what it does to them psychologically. We have enough fucked-up people in the world already, thank you.