[X] My Assistant

Huh... the next antidoujin I do is going to be my 20th...

I have 18 uploaded, one potentially in the roster to be edited and released in a couple weeks, and one I'll never upload because it was during the MSPaint years and not even really that good...

I may have to change both my signature and avatar. Granted, I never see them because I have 'em turned off while at work and am too lazy to turn it on at home, but still.

Alright. At 12:00 I can yank it like that monkey who tore that woman's face off.

And as the image comes to mind, I no longer have an erection that has been plaguing me for hours.

I may have to change both my signature and avatar. Granted, I never see them because I have 'em turned off while at work and am too lazy to turn it on at home, but still.

Why must you continuously break my heart? Is it because I come home late and never call? WE NEVER TALK ANYMORE, GLORIA! YOUR MOTHER IS THE CAUSE OF ALL THIS WHY DO YOU LISTEN TO HER?

What am I doing with my life? Ahhh!!!

Buy stock!

Someday, I will put the whole lot of you to work making me famous, talking about me with friends and sharing links to my crap webcomic, writing and other garbage. You'll spend more of your own money on my novels and merchandise than fiscal common sense would dictate. And the sad irony is, you'll want to do it, too. You'll want to see me succeed. Because I'm a nice fucking guy.

..Okay, so my thoughts are a bit delusional at times.

Shit happens.

New avatar. Time for an unenthusiastic whoo.

Whoo,

New avatar. Time for an unenthusiastic whoo.

Whoo,

You have betrayed me and I will now commit seppuku. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, VAKUEN GLORIA!

Noooooooooooooo noooooooooah, you must not!

Smile! Force yourself to see the positive side in a world where no such things exist! The harshness of life is but one of the veils that overlap with our eyes, and only by dispelling that delusion can we ever hope to grasp the truth within!

New avatar. Time for an unenthusiastic whoo.

Whoo,

Sometimes you need a new face to feel better about yourself.

That's what I tell my victims at least.

A ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha oh you.

Noooooooooooooo noooooooooah, you must not!

Smile! Force yourself to see the positive side in a world where no such things exist! The harshness of life is but one of the veils that overlap with our eyes, and only by dispelling that delusion can we ever hope to grasp the truth within!

Being shocked by a positive charge as a child, I am now positive man and am unable to hold a negative charge.

Ah Ah Ah... I'm hilarious. I wonder why I'm single?

It's probably the flatulence.

It's probably the flatulence.

I just can't stop with the beans, they're fucking delicious*.


* Yes, I also have intercourse with the beans.

This post has been edited by noahbody: Jun 14 2011, 06:41

Or the backwards laughter.

I heard from a little bird that women don't have a sense of humor. The reason why they seek me is because they are under the misguided belief that men have what they don't - a sense of humor. This is known in the field (the medical version of "the biz") as Venus Envy, named by the famous comedian John Gray, who famous uttered, "These fucking Venuses be all jelly 'bout us" in the groundbreaking lecture of '92.

Obviously, this is what turns some women into lesbianism; they think that by becoming independent of "the Man", a concept of authority that symbolizes the patriarchal tyranny that dominates most of the world, they will be able to find their own sense of humor deep within. This is because a sense of humor is sometimes known as gaiety, which sounds a lot like gay. To women, who lack the sense of humor, the obvious path is to become gay themselves.

Ironically, had they taken notice of men, they would realize that gay men never get the chicks because they are gay. This proves (if one goes backwards) that gay people don't have a sense of humor.

In other words, backwards laughter symbolizes that women perceive you as a gay man with no sense of humor, only one tier above lesbian.

Upon further inspection, Venus Envy is a Canadian sex shop.

They also for some odd reason sell books. I imagine it's Twilight.

Greek Twilight. Where Edward is a full-bodied hunk of man-meat, bulging with muscles in all the right places.

Or Space Twilight. Where Edward is a space vampire in space. Who wears an astronaut suit. He drinks blood through the space particles in space air. Dead space.

He has risen from the ashes, only a little the worse for wear.