[X] My Assistant

Man I was drinking this 48% whiskey, and somehow ended up more drunk after a 5-hour power nap on the couch than I was then I lied down.

Man I was drinking this 48% whiskey, and somehow ended up more drunk after a 5-hour power nap on the couch than I was then I lied down.

I know that feel, when you drink half the bottle at once.

UwU

The 'lefties' are pushing for troops on the ground even from my country for Ukraine.

Seems their brains are melting as USAID NGO activist money was cut and they desperately want the gravy train to keep going.

Surprised there aren't more Gene Hackman conspiracy theories. He, his wife, and one of their three dogs were found dead, family presumed carbon monoxide poisoning. But the attitude of the bodies suggest that they died suddenly; CO causes gradual fatigue, and you'd expect them to be found sitting or lying. The front door was ajar, and the very private couple had no surveillance cameras. No sources for CO were found, and the bodies tested negative for carbon monoxide.

My fan theory is that some psycho fan made a homemade hydrogen cyanide gas bomb, sneaked into the house and set that off, then cleaned up the pieces and left, but was nervous and didn't realize the front door hadn't latched. Have the bodies been tested for cyanide poisoning?

This post has been edited by Necromusume: Mar 3 2025, 23:37

There have been a few weirdly sus deaths of celebs, so maybe people don't react anymore.

Usually the police say they are investigating then find nothing and it fades from public consciousness.

The US homicide "clearance" rate was 58% in 2023. That only counts deaths that were noticed at all, and treated as homicides, so not bums living off the grid, and it doesn't mean someone was convicted, or the right person convicted, only that someone was arrested.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if it was a worker at their house. Someone who would know for sure that they didn't have surveillance inside or out, and might even have casually asked them about it.

1964: Murder Most Foul
2025: Murder: Who Cares?

The US homicide "clearance" rate was 58% in 2023. That only counts deaths that were noticed at all, and treated as homicides, so not bums living off the grid, and it doesn't mean someone was convicted, or the right person convicted, only that someone was arrested.

Isn't that super low? My country sucks and its 90% approx clearance rate.


edit: Oh? Apparently my country is nearly the top ranked for homicide clearance rates. Probably because people get drunk and boast about their crimes at the local bar or something.

edit2: The theory is because we have so many crime tv shows, people want to be part of the story/reality tv so our witness participation rate is stupid high.

edit3: The number one demographic factor for unsolved homicides is being non-indigenous...

This post has been edited by EsotericSatire: Mar 4 2025, 02:30

I read someone say that the 2 dogs left over conspired to kill the third dog and their owners for inheritance reasons...it checks out.

Someone said it was a murder-suicide, and the dead dog did it.

it's not will smith eating spaghetti but it will do




EDIT : i noticed they are not using some essential tools that i've seen that could increase lifelike motion and tone down the blurriness, but i'm guessing they don't have access to large servers of cuda cores to render at QHD/UHD resolution so they upscaled it.

This post has been edited by Pillowgirl: Mar 5 2025, 21:13

Oh nice, in the new balance patch God dropped on Australia we have a new super funnel-web spider scientists have named 'Big Boy'.

Its twice as big as the previously largest funnel web spider.

There was only one of them in 2016 but now they have spread and are a legit new variant. Its like there is some dumb cunt breading the suckers.

They have twice the armor piercing buff and are twice as deadly. Nice.

Oh nice, in the new balance patch God dropped on Australia we have a new super funnel-web spider scientists have named 'Big Boy'.

Its twice as big as the previously largest funnel web spider.

There was only one of them in 2016 but now they have spread and are a legit new variant. Its like there is some dumb cunt breading the suckers.

They have twice the armor piercing buff and are twice as deadly. Nice.

"Sir why did you light that bushfire?"

"Because spiders aren't pokemon and you need to stop breeding them that's why."

"Because spiders aren't pokemon and you need to stop breeding them that's why."

Oh shit, I looked it up. Why I am I the last to find out about this? I need a fucking flamethrower or something.


The new deadliest spider on the planet are found within a 30 mins drive of the "groundbreaking" breeding program to develop varieties that both produce a high volume of venom AND the venom is still as potent or more, so we can make effective anti-venom.

Researchers at the breeding program HQ:


edit:

"Sir why did you light that bushfire?"

A bush fire nearly took out the facility one year after they started the program.

Does everyone already know about the super funnel webs escaping? Its like they did a 'jurassic park' or some shit but with giant spiders.

This post has been edited by EsotericSatire: Mar 7 2025, 15:59

The medical examiner's report on Gene Hackman & co is out. His wife died of a rodent-borne hantavirus, Gene had advanced Alzheimers and atherosclerotic heart disease, and wandered around the house for a week without calling for help before dying himself a week later. The one of three dogs was crated after a medical procedure and likely died of dehydration & starvation.

It annoys me when the reporters say that a minimal gas leak was found near one of their burners, as though that could be harmful itself. They are thinking of old Hollywood movies, where the actors turn on the gas without igniting it and then die. The difference is, back then they used [en.wikipedia.org] town gas, which is produced from decomposition of coal and contains massive amounts of carbon monoxide. The [en.wikipedia.org] natural gas supplied these days is mostly methane with other short-chain alkanes and has no significant toxicity.

The original coal gas was produced by the coal gasification reaction, and the burnable component consisted of a mixture of carbon monoxide and hydrogen in roughly equal quantities by volume. Thus, coal gas is highly toxic.

Can you believe this used to be widely used?

This post has been edited by Necromusume: Mar 8 2025, 02:20

The medical examiner's report on Gene Hackman & co is out. His wife died of a rodent-borne hantavirus, Gene had advanced Alzheimers and atherosclerotic heart disease, and wandered around the house for a week without calling for help before dying himself a week later. The one of three dogs was crated after a medical procedure and likely died of dehydration & starvation.

It annoys me when the reporters say that a minimal gas leak was found near one of their burners, as though that could be harmful itself. They are thinking of old Hollywood movies, where the actors turn on the gas without igniting it and then die. The difference is, back then they used [en.wikipedia.org] town gas, which is produced from decomposition of coal and contains massive amounts of carbon monoxide. The [en.wikipedia.org] natural gas supplied these days is mostly methane with other short-chain alkanes and has no significant toxicity.
Can you believe this used to be widely used?

That seems odd. She died of a pretty rare virus infection, was she eating rat dropping? So what are they suggesting here, she had a terrible virus, probably coughing and infested to shit, she didn't seek medical attention nor told anybody about it for how long? its not like its an instant kill virus. and what about the pills around her body? she just took some and then died and they fell right there instantly? not like put them away first at least before i dont know, collapsing on her own bed or chair? And Gene what, wondered around the house confused and didn't even find her or call anybody? how big is this house? did this guy have kids? No wellness checks ins? or did he see her dead on the floor and forgot a moment later like a goldfish? And what about the dog? it was crated after being to the vet and arrived at the house on feb 9th. so who delivered the dog? was he beamed inside by Chief O'Brien? and what, the wife, who im assuming was running the house just left him there inside the crate? Gene having dementia i can understand, but was the wife so sick she didn't let the dog out? so she didn't call anybody else to do it? like maybe ask the vet for it to stay? im not saying a cover up or something but this whole timeline of events seems odd.

This post has been edited by Drone-chan: Mar 8 2025, 03:12

Man I wish I could do the New Vegas tour

Oh shit, I looked it up. Why I am I the last to find out about this? I need a fucking flamethrower or something.
The new deadliest spider on the planet are found within a 30 mins drive of the "groundbreaking" breeding program to develop varieties that both produce a high volume of venom AND the venom is still as potent or more, so we can make effective anti-venom.

Cue Resident Evil type spider game.

The medical examiner's report on Gene Hackman & co is out.

The idea of that poor guy shuffling around his house probably not even aware that his wife was dead for a week is deeply saddening.

When does it become inhumane to keep people living?

When does it become inhumane to keep people living?

When they aren't rich.

When does it become inhumane to keep people living?

At birth.