[X] My Assistant

masturbation is illegal in Argentina. I just contacted the AFI

I thought circle jerking was legal there.

[www.thesmokinggun.com] https://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/circle...e-k-jerk-386052

Meet Steven Lee Donovan.

(IMG:[www.thesmokinggun.com] https://www.thesmokinggun.com/sites/default/files/assets/stevenleedonovan20.jpg)

The 22-year-old pizza deliveryman was allegedly pleasuring himself Tuesday night while seated behind the wheel of a 1996 Honda Civic parked outside a Circle K in Fruitland Park, Florida.

While Donovan was masturbating, a woman whose car was parked next to the Honda noticed that the vehicle’s sole inhabitant had penis in hand and was stroking himself in “up and down motions.”

Unfortunately for Donovan, the witness was an off-duty cop from a neighboring city. She copied down the Honda’s license plate (JACR06), which she subsequently provided to police dispatchers.

A Fruitland Park Police Department report notes that a review of surveillance footage captured the suspect--who wore a black mask--“pulling his pants down as he grabs his genital area” and “making a continual motion with his genital area.”

Cops tracked the vehicle to a residence where they found Donovan, who works for a Hungry Howie’s pizza franchise, and Maxine Munro, his 20-year-old girlfriend (and the car’s registrant). During questioning, Donovan reportedly told police that he drove to Circle K around 10:00 PM to grab a post-work drink.

After Donovan placed himself at the scene of the masturbation, he was arrested and placed in handcuffs. It was at this point that Munro asked to speak with Donovan, who was in the rear of a patrol car.

During the couple’s conversation--which was recorded by a dash cam--Donovan was “very apologetic to Maxine,” cops reported. Acknowledging that he was “horny and was masturbating to pornography,” Donovan “advised Maxine that he didn’t think masturbating in his car was illegal.”

Sadly, Donovan apparently did not further expound on his belief that a Honda’s interior was some kind of a sovereign zone.

Charged with exposure of sexual organs, a misdemeanor, Donovan was booked into the Lake County jail. He was freed from custody early yesterday morning upon posting $1000 bond. He is scheduled to be arraigned on August 13.

Feel like this is just wasting taxpayers' money, but alright.

Can't even jerk off in my car anymore.
Literally 1984.

Twilight Sparkle is okay, but Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie are cuter and RD is at least 20% cooler.

I wish I could get tinted windows and just use a vibrator on my way home from work. My sexomnia wakes me up if I don't cum twice before bed

It's illegal to be happy.

THE TARD WRANGLERS ARE WORKING OVERTIME
[www.reuters.com] https://www.reuters.com/world/uk/climate-ac...ess-2023-10-17/

Climate activist Greta Thunberg was detained by police in London on Tuesday, a Reuters witness reported, after she and others protested outside an oil and gas conference, preventing some delegates from attending.

I HOPE SHE GOES TO BUTTFUCK PRISON AND GETS BUTTFUCKED BY TRANS WOMEN.

RD is at least 20% cooler.

I wish I could get tinted windows and just use a vibrator on my way home from work.

Who the fuck needs tinted windows to jack it in a car park?

I made a monster called Greta Downberg.

She's now two current things down on the stack, her activist parents are probably freaking that the gravy train is being cut off.

They won't be able to take the yacht or private plane out as often. oh Noes.

It's illegal to be happy.

I fucking knew it.
I guess in that respect I'm a law abiding citizen, then.

I still love Tifa Lockhart's teetas

I live in this little backwater universe that I created... mostly empty. Usually hang around the few inhabited planets, torturing my twisted creations.
I do need them, but only for entertainment. Not for "worship" or "faith". More fun when they wage wars. Shake the ant farm some more.
Shunned by the other gods for my aberrant personality. I don't care. Someday I'll leave this little backwater universe and kill them all. I am the only true god.

If only you could see what normal universes look like. Of course, they'd be horrified by you, and purge you.

random message from the void

random message from the void

Did you finally become a sperm golem?

My Stellaris game just crashed, do you want to fight me?

Always.

I play Blue Eyes White dragon.

I shove my entire deck into your cornchute.

I shove my entire deck into your cornchute.

I play Junk Defender.