[X] My Assistant

Masturbation?

That works too, if done with enough enthusiasm.

It's hard to pull your own dick off when it's too small to get a good grip upon :<

(IMG:[www.blackjacktools.com] http://www.blackjacktools.com/pcat-gifs/products-small/bjt-098.jpg)

You Europeans are so damned kinky.

Somebody needs to get Dlaglz a puppy or something.

No, but I feel bad about throwing things out that are still perfectly usable. Also wasting food and clean water. LOLhoarding.

If you're going to hoard, it's good to do it with shit you might actually need.

Even though I knew better, I bought some Hot Pockets at the grocery store because they were on sale. As soon as I pulled one from the freezer, I remembered that I really didn't like them all that much. Right after I pulled it out of the microwave, I dropped it right on the floor. Once that happened, I screamed "that's where you belong whore" but ate it anyway.

I want to + this post.

This post has been edited by FourThirteen: Mar 5 2012, 10:18

Somebody needs to get Dlaglz a puppy or something.

I had a hamster once. But I was testing the effects of high artificial gravitation on a mammal using a sock as a sling and it don't move no more.

Animal cruelty is hilarious.

I had a response, but then I derped it.

HUH?
I was fairly certain that craptaincleenix was desiignated as the last replier.

WHAT MAGIC IS THIS?

You're a wonderful delight, Benjiro.

....And I notice that my capslock posts have kind of increased.

MUST BE THE ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE REMINISCENCE DAY ALL OVER AGAIN!!!

Yeah, I think this is the best thing I've ever made. So that sucks. Now I have another bar to jump over.

....And I notice that my capslock posts have kind of increased.

MUST BE THE ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE REMINISCENCE DAY ALL OVER AGAIN!!!

I don't use capslock, I just hold down the shift key, that shows my true anger.

Local news airs package about how retarded people don't like being called retarded.

My first thought? "This package is retarded!"

I do believe I have secured my place in hell.

Fantastic...

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Fantastic...

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OH FUCK EW!
I actually wanted to post something about cooking... now I've lost all appetite for the next three days...


Eddy: Aw, fuck that whinnyprinning, I'LL FIGHT MY OWN THOUGHTS!

Soooo..
I'm bored out of hell and really, REALLY don't know what I should cook on saturday.

Anypony have a suggestion?

This post has been edited by Benjiro: Mar 7 2012, 14:03

Just had this exchange with some simp on Facebook:
--------------------
Me: Had a dang pita after my run today, wheat bread, red pepper hummus, spinach, black beans, black olives, red onions, pepper jack cheese and pulled pork with chipolte barbeque sauce. Cancelled out the exercise, I suppose.

Dude: it's chipotle, heathen

Me: No, I'm saying I included a Chipolte Mexican Grill brand burrito in the pita as well.

Dude: then they're the heathens and you got scammed. Man, I really hate people that don't spell things correctly

Me: Internet! Catch the fever!

Dude: I refuse!

Me: Is it because I misspelled fervor?

Dude: no. it's because every where I've seen "chipotle" this or "chipotle" that, it's been spelled "chipolte" but pronounced "chipotle." and inconsistencies like this really just make me wonder if anyone gives a fuck anymore.

Me: I don't think anyone ever did. Caring that much about English incongruities over a Spanish word is... well... jarring.

Dude: it's simple spelling. I believe it's the species of pepper that makes it "chipotle." that, or how it's prepared. either way, it is what it is, and taking advantage of the poor ignoramuses that don't pay attention is at first admirable, but secondarily disgusting. and very, very, reprehensible, from an ethical standpoint.

Me: Not really, but whatever makes you happy.

Dude: well, that's how I feel about grammar. it's very important.

Me: Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
--------------------

This has made me decide two things:

1) I don't think I'm going to give anyone shit on how to spell stuff on the internet if I can understand what the fuck they're talking about because it makes you look like a flailing retard.

2) I'm probably going to further decrease my interactions with anyone because so many idiots in this world seem to take their ridiculous opinions to heart and just throttle the fuck out of anyone they're talking to with these disgusting, irrelevant things like they mean anything to anyone else.

Wow, I would of been pretty crass toward them if I had an awful Facebutt friend like that.

This post has been edited by Robbie Pie: Mar 8 2012, 03:02

It's a swapperoo of an L and a T.

Fuck.

I guess it's my fault some thundercunt from Colorado that wants us all to shit blood branded their bullshit incorrectly? Sorry, English language.