[X] My Assistant

I hate that I need to shave like every two days. Can't grow a fucking beard yet the stubs keep stubbing.

A similar thing is pissing me off too....
Besides that my body hair grows extremely slowly anyway, i now seem to get sidebruns even before a pubic moustache....
At times like this i ask myself From which fucking territory of the world my ancestors came from, to justify how this is useful in any way...

The fall semester of my senior year, I was so busy with projects, I didn't get a haircut or shave for several months. By December, I looked like a jungle guerilla fighter. True story.

I'm doing a self-inflicted writing exercise. It's pretty fun but fairly difficult.

A similar thing is pissing me off too....
Besides that my body hair grows extremely slowly anyway, i now seem to get sidebruns even before a pubic moustache....
At times like this i ask myself From which fucking territory of the world my ancestors came from, to justify how this is useful in any way...

Sideburns. I feel the pain.

How does Ishihara keep getting re-elected/stay in office? Normally, when a big shot makes controversial comments in public, their ass gets a PROMOTION!! Like, corner-office-with-a-view promoted. He should have committed career seppuku several times by now.

People are stupid and do dumb shit. True story.

And are afraid to die. And have no honor. And are racist fucks who think Japanese rule of Korea was justified. And are fucking stupid.

I need to emphasize that part.

Something big has happened; a relevant figure to several of my common friends has passed away. Big and not good at all, but I'm a little at a loss as to how I should act. I'm largely unaffected, but now I feel like I'm at an impasse. I'm sure my friends are all going to be in a dour, somber mood for at least a couple of weeks, but if anything, I'm a little more motivated to make some progress in my life because of it.

How am I supposed to act? When I'm around my friends, I'm very often active and energetic, kind of a mood-maker even if I feel stupid describing myself that way. But with this news, my knowledge of social graces and tact tell me I'm probably supposed to tone it down and let people mourn. But I really don't want to do that, if anything, now I want to become more active and motivate myself further towards my goals.

This is going to be rough for everyone, but for me, it's probably going to be rough in a different way. I sense I'll be walking on eggshells for a while until things settle down, not sure what attitude I ought to take. If I'm too animated it'll be seen as disrespectful, while if I'm too reserved, it'll be suspicious to people as to why I'm holding back.


I'll have to just wait it out and see how things look in the morning.




Largely unedited edit: Great, I ended those first two paragraphs with only a slight rephrasing. Redundancy.

This post has been edited by TotalWhittle: May 19 2011, 06:27

Honestly death is not a subject I'm all too familiar with, because I don't really know anybody close to me who's dead. All of my great-grandparents were deceased before I was born and my grandparents are in good health - my dad's dad turned 80 not two months back. I've never been to a funeral, I don't really have any friends that lost somebody while I knew them. The closest I came to death was when a guy in my class had a cousin or twin brother who died. The fact that I can't even remember the exact relation speaks volumes of how much that meant to me. I wasn't friends with that guy, and this was back in 7th grade.

How does one react to death? That's honestly a question to which I never want to know the answer. Part of my wish to die early (late 40s ~ early 50s?) is partially based on the fear that I may one day have to deal with the death of a... loved one? Nah, family member would be the better term. I'm not entirely sure I can love anybody; I say "I love you" to my grandparents because that's what I've said to them since I was a kid but I haven't really meant it for the longest while. Granted, I do like my family a lot, but I don't love them. Not sure I ever have.

I think I can sorta dig what it's gonna be like for you. Sorta. While I'm not the mood-maker nor the decision maker, I am the annoyingly hyperactive one that cracks bad puns and threatens to smack people even though I never follow up. I'm the one who talks loudly, laughs like a hyena and yells at posters on the subways for advocating capitalism. Only around my friends, of course. Without them I'm just your average grumpy guy who always has his headphones equipped and never smiles.

So yeah, if something like that happened to me, I would have no idea what the fuck to do. I enjoy that I can be myself with my friends, as opposed to the usual antisocial solitary me. But being the "with friends" me in a situation like that would be incredibly off-putting and rude. But what the fuck would I say?

"I feel your pain?" Fuck, how am I supposed to feel it when I've never experienced loss?
"That's bad, man?" Some random bullshit statement? Pithy words of consolation?

Christ, I am like a less flamboyant and watered-down poor man's D.D.D. without the natural trippiness that gives him the "D" quality.

Y'all rich fuckers should go buy a vial of Triple D cause I'm only good for the plebeians.

I've come to the understanding that I shouldn't care what other people think of me for my lack of empathy when stuff like death, breakups/divorces, or other emotional events happen. I know what the socially-accepted responses are, but I don't feel them and I'm not going to fake them.

I at least offer my condolences to those who were affected by death that I do know and care for, despite however or not I may known or felt for that departed person.

you can't actually do much about that... it's rooted in their minds due to years of miseducation and pre-modern elevation...
I tried often enough to convice friends that their whining and bitching has no use and that they shall fucking stop to be so damn shellfishselfish(LOL freudian typo?).
the reactions were faaar from pleasant...
So i switched from talking to just listening and giving a shoulder or two, for a first, at least...

This post has been edited by Benjiro: May 20 2011, 09:15

I've come to the understanding that I shouldn't care what other people think of me for my lack of empathy when stuff like death, breakups/divorces, or other emotional events happen. I know what the socially-accepted responses are, but I don't feel them and I'm not going to fake them.

I don't know why some people expect one would feel something for every other person, when interesting people that make one care even in the slightest are few and far between. Perhaps they're hormone-crazy in a subtle way, and so they can't understand people dont mean so much to others as they do to them.

Well I'll be damned, Poodick is here.

I've lost enough family members. Can't say I've ever really cried over it. Maybe if it was ever someone very close to me, but for that to happen I'd have to let people get close to me.

In regards to consoling someone, sometimes the best thing you can say is nothing. Empathize if you can, but don't BS them with cliche lines. The fact that you're there and listening to their grief is what's important. If they can't see that, at least in hindsight, they're no one you should associate with.

Benjiro kind of has a point. Getting really upset over someone's death is more often than not a selfish sentiment. The exception would be if it's somebody who died young, or had young children they left behind; there's real reason to be upset in that situation. Mostly, though, people are really sad because they miss having that person in their lives. Being someone who is usually disgusted with self-oriented thinking*, I have a hard time consoling those people, let alone reacting myself.

My thoughts to those people: you should pay respect to the dead; if they deserved it in life, they deserve it in death. Don't make a theatrical production of it, and damn sure don't act like you're the star of the story. It's their day, not yours. They only get to die once. Let them have this one.

Okay, that was more than one last thought. :/ I'm going to bed.

EDIT:
*: Couldn't help but laugh a little when I read that back to myself.

This post has been edited by FourThirteen: May 21 2011, 06:30

Hmm, reading the responses a few days later, I realize my post probably actually sounded like a cry for help.

Sorry to anyone who felt obligated to type a lengthy response (though I did read them), but my post was really just venting. Despite typing what I did, I'd already decided how I was going to go about things on my own maybe 20 minutes before going to bed on Wednesday. In particular, the 'how am I supposed to act' statement wasn't so much a request for advice as much as it was a rhetorical question compared to how I knew I was going to act.

In closing, insensitive as it is to say it, I find the death of this friend in particular to be more of a nuisance than anything else. I'm having a hard time being empathetic towards him, and I get the feeling my current thoughts on this matter are going to become my future thoughts as well.

Youre a good sort, Whittle. I myself felt nothing when my aunt Faye and grandmother died. As it turns out, in her youth, my grandmother was a horrible mother and a hypocritical bitch until she grew old and senile just in time for me to be born. Faye, however, turned out to be nothing short of a saint to her family, and I still feel nothing.

This post has been edited by alloutboy27: May 21 2011, 22:21

Youre a good sort, Whittle. I myself felt nothing when my aunt Faye and grandmother died. As it turns out, in her youth, my grandmother was a horrible mother and a hypocritical bitch until she grew old and senile just in time for me to be born. Faye, however, turned out to be nothing short of a saint to her family, and I still feel nothing.

Tee-hee.

When my signature gets updated with my new BvS avatar, it's gonna be too small to tell what the hell it is.

You really aren't cooler than me.