[X] My Assistant

tl;dr

And I stayed up way too long. Guess the only sensible thing remaining is to stay awake until the evening, lest I want to fuck up my sleeping habits big time.

Yeah, I've been having that problem for that past two weeks. Mainly because I've been playing games on my EDGE.

I try to stay awake till evening, but I end up falling asleep... and it happens all over again.

yeah, I'm feelin' fine...
you know, and Jesus walks up to me, and he says "Mojo",
"Mojo, I'm gonna take you to someplace you need to be", and I say, uh,
I say "Take me, Jesus", and Jesus took me..

and there we were.
I looked around - I looked around and all I saw was
couches.
Everywhere I looked, I saw couches;
(not the kind you wanna sit on, but the kind you wanna..
the kind you wanna.. SLEEP on, you know)
And there was like, these bonfires, with big cauldrons on top of 'em,
with generic, yellow-label Top Ramen, just boiling away
buh-buh-buh-boiling awaywayway
and it was just going everywhere,
and the TREES had these kind of BEER TAPS on 'em,
and out of 'em was comin' this strange mixture of
FOOD BARN GIN
an'
MOUNTAIN DEW
an' I said "I lovelovelovelovelove you",
aw, yeah, I was feelin' so fine, so fine,
I was about to go out' my mind,
I saw the entire Robert Johnson John Lee Hooker Muddy Waters record collection stretched before me
an' a brand new stereo, I got a thousand watts o' power,
I got a new car, it's got second gear, and I'm, I'm feelin'

FINE
I ain't gotta work at no day job no more, cuz
that's not my wife, that's not my life,

ow, CUT IT OUT WITH THE KNIFE!
So I asked Jesus, "Man, like, where am I?"
Jesus kinda, scratched his chin, and, uh,

(he hadn't shaved in a while)
and he, said, uh, "Mojo?"

"Mojo?"
I said, "Am I at the Big Rock Candy Mountain?"

He said "Nooooo...."
I said, "Am I in Paradise?"

He said "Nooooooooo...."
I said, "Is this like, the upstairs, you know, Heaven?"

He said "Noooooooooooo...."

Jesus looked up at the sky,
and there was this big white thing,
kinda lines goin' across it,
and the hair on the back of my neck stood up,
an' Jesus said "I feel fine, 'cuz..."

"'cuz..."

"'CUZ I'M DOWN!"

"'BY THE POWUH LINES!"
"That's why I feel so fiiiiiiiiiiiiine"

"that's why I'm blowing my mind!"
"I said I'm Down, downdowndown, by the POWUH LIlilililines!"
I feel so feel so feel so feel so
DOWN by the power lines, I feel feel feel so fine, ain't that right, Skid? Aw, yeah!
I said I'm down, by the power liiiines!

wath...

Edit: Wish I had a decent wtf BOOM video to embed here..

This post has been edited by (sic): May 3 2010, 20:28

Mr. Mercury, I really hope you have beautiful teeth in the next life.

What the FUCK is with that?

wath...

Edit: Wish I had a decent wtf BOOM video to embed here..

It's from a song called Jesus at McDonalds by Mojo Nixon.

Who wants to drag their grundel up and down my face whilst I beat off?

(IMG:[i7.photobucket.com] http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y280/houseofgas/loldicks.png)

How shitty, amirite :3

[www.efukt.com] Jesus CHRIST.

Odd to say this right now, but wait for it. Seriously. This gets better and better.

One morning, I woke up and I was 12 inches tall. I was Irish and a leprechaun. It was the worst day of my life. Then I woke up and it was all a dream. True story.

*bangs head on keyboard*

Weird me too.
Sept the last 2 bits.

How shitty, amirite :3

On par with the crap on DeviantArt.

Odd to say this right now, but wait for it. Seriously. This gets better and better.

Hypertrophy Genitals Girl by Noburu Iguchi. Funny stuff. Methinks you'd like The Machine Girl and The Neighbor's Sister Has F-Cup as well.

I was walking past a hardware shop today and saw a sledgehammer in the window. Why is it called a sledgehammer when it has nothing to do with a sledge?

Are you retarded?

Might even play the hentaiverse

I really don't know how people can eat their boogers.

Dimebag had a terrible taste in guitars, but he knew how to use them nonetheless.

I really don't know how people can eat their boogers.

One time, my nose was kinda hurting so I stuck my finger in there and pulled out this gigantic booger. It was gross. So I flicked it off somewhere. True story.

Dimebag had a terrible taste in guitars, but he knew how to use them nonetheless.

Yeah, Deans are fucking hideous.

One time, my nose was kinda hurting so I stuck my finger in there and pulled out this gigantic booger. It was gross. So I flicked it off somewhere. True story.

Oh, yeah? Well, my friend and I were sitting on the couch watching TV one time and he picked his nose and flicked off the huge wet booger. It flew across the room and landed on the TV screen. True story. God, that was disgusting.

Have you ever picked your nose while lying in bed on your back and the booger accidentally fell in your mouth? Fuck, those things taste awful which is why I can't figure out why people actually eat those things on purpose. They dine on them sometimes like they're porterhouse steaks.

I ate my boogers, as a kid. It was a compulsive habit I'd always had, ever since I could remember. My siblings always wiped theirs on walls, and under a lot of things, like tables and the arms of chairs or couches.

I caught my brother in the act, once, in our shared bedroom, and I said, "Don't wipe that booger there!" and he was like, "IT'S 'SNOT'!" so he got off on a technicality. True story.

Have you ever picked your nose while lying in bed on your back and the booger accidentally fell in your mouth? Fuck, those things taste awful which is why I can't figure out why people actually eat those things on purpose. They dine on them sometimes like they're porterhouse steaks.

No, but I've blown my nose and a booger somehow ended up on my lips/in my mouth.

My little bro used to collect his boogers into little balls.