QUOTE(cochrane @ Dec 24 2017, 20:33)
I'll never accept a blind date request from a friend again. When I asked "Was she hot", the only answer I got was "Dude, you'll like her. She has a great personality." "You're good bro. She'll be here to meet you this evening"
At this point, I wondered just how massive an ass-whipping I could lay on my friend and how much trouble would it be to hide what was left of his fucking body? Unfortunately, my friend had described me to her, and she was excited to meet me. Since I already knew she was coming and she already knew I'd be home, I was stuck.
As her car pulled up to my house, my friend added "Don't worry bro, here's a few bucks. The drinks are on me". He passed me $200, and I thought, "Ah shit, he wants me to buy the good stuff. I'm fucked".
Well, I opened the door to meet my date, and to say she was a hideous hose-beast would be an understatement. Imagine the fusion of human, buffalo, and gorilla DNA from some nightmare laboratory standing before your eyes in female form. I looked at her and her outfit and stammered, "Wow, I'm stunned. Your outfit looks great", and then I thought "Man, I need some booze, like yesterday."
Man, she was all over me all evening, and I knew I wasn't getting out of this one without hitting the sheets and laying some pipe. I managed to put down enough Scotch, Gin, and Whiskey to take my perception of her appearance from "WTF am I looking at? It might be female." up to NIGHTMARE EYES. That was a far as I could go without risking alcohol poisoning. As she dimmed the lights in her bedroom, I wondered "How much pain will Coyote Arm cause?"
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