[X] My Assistant

Do you have any other scripts that might need proofreading? I'll be away for several weeks by the start of June.

Will try and produce another one or two scripts before the end of May then (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Yo Red can you recommend sites that could import doujins? Thanks

Or even digital purchase for that matter, I have some doujins I want to read but are not available on ex yet

Please proofread and review Chapter 5 :3
[www.mediafire.com] http://www.mediafire.com/download/35djat0q...d+Chapter+5.rar
I've given both of you the password to the file

I'll take a look at it tomorrow. I've had a long day, and I need a bit of sleep.

Okay then take your time, just tell me if you have anything to say in the credits (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Btw CrimsonClown's proofreading
Page 86
S: It's you again... Yonemura

S: It's not like this has anything to do with you, Yonemura

C: Everyone has already seen through her

Page 88
C: Since it's impossible for her to treat me so gently after all...

Page 92
C: What'll happen if I raise my waist slightly...

Page 107
C: I always get the "right in the kokoro" feel when doing these kinds of chapters

This post has been edited by chung2795: May 25 2015, 17:46

Here you go.


86
Y: Isn't that great? At least it proves that you're not an idiot after all.

H: This is none of your business, Yonemura. // So get lost, you IDIOT!

B: When is he going to realize Yonemura's true feelings for him?

B: It's pretty obvious to everyone else.

H: Why am I the only one you always bug...

Y: Huh? // Hideo!?


87
Suggestion: Use an italic font for the "thought bubbles" to differentiate them from the "speech bubbles", and use a consistent font size throughout.

H: Huh? // Where am...

H: Whatever. I'm too tired to argue. I'll just pretend to be asleep...

Y: I'd better wipe off his sweat.

Y: Where the heck is the nurse? Hideo's suffering right now!

Y: If anything happens to you, Hideo // I'll never forgive you...

H: Why is Yonemura being so nice to me?


88
Y: I hope you get well soon.

Y: It's gonna be so boring here without you.

H: There's no way she'd be this nice to me, after all...

Y: down there, too... right?


90
H: Shit... My dick is getting hard...


91
Y: I never knew that a boy's thing...

Y: could become so big...


92
H: Just a bit more until it touches her lips...

H: If I were to raise my hips a bit...


94
H: Yonemura can't be sucking my dick!

H: It feels too good...


98
Y: I'll be taking...

Y: your virginity.


99
Y: inside me

H: Yonemura's... crying?


100
H: I really don't want to see you cry...

Y: Idiot. --> Don't split the word.

Y: Didn't I tell you not to wake up?


102
Y: Didn't you say that you don't want to see me cry? // But you're getting bigger because of that. --> You might want to double-check the translation, because I don't understand how the second sentence relates to the first.

Y: I'm gonna make you cum again real soon, Hideo.


103
Y: How is it, Hideo? Being inside a girl feels great, right?


104
Y: You'd better be grateful, Hideo.

Y: If I hadn't done it with you, // you'd probably remain a virgin forever.

Y: You'll have to cherish me


107
H: It was just a dream...

Y: Idiot. --> Don't split the word.


107-2
I always get a "shot through the heart" feel when doing chapters like this. I'm not sure whether it's from jealousy or admiration, though (cries in a corner).

Man, doing the translating, cleaning, and typesetting all by myself is tiring, but it's all worth it when I can smile after reading the end of the chapter :)

107
H: It was just a dream...

Y: Idiot. --> Don't split the word.

But the word is split in the original RAW though, what should I do then?

Hmm... After looking at the raw, what she actually says is, "baaaka"; long and drawn out, making it sound like a term of endearment.

In that case, you can use "You dummy" instead. It's much milder, and more of a playful jibe than an insult. You can write it like this, without splitting any words:

You
dummy

Hmm... After looking at the raw, what she actually says is, "baaaka"; long and drawn out, making it sound like a term of endearment.

In that case, you can use "You dummy" instead. It's much milder, and more of a playful jibe than an insult. You can write it like this, without splitting any words:

You
dummy

Ok then good idea, will probably publish the new chapter tonight

102
Y: Didn't you say that you don't want to see me cry? // But you're getting bigger because of that. --> You might want to double-check the translation, because I don't understand how the second sentence relates to the first.

Pretty sure I'm correct, though "but it's causing//making you bigger down there" is probably the more correct translation.

This post has been edited by chung2795: May 26 2015, 13:38

Hey chung, is there anything I should be posting an editing bounty for? I am tad confused about this "Chapter 5" stuff. If it's your project, it's totally cool too discuss it here, it's your thread as much as mine those days, just making sure I know what's going on.

Hey chung, is there anything I should be posting an editing bounty for? I am tad confused about this "Chapter 5" stuff. If it's your project, it's totally cool too discuss it here, it's your thread as much as mine those days, just making sure I know what's going on.

Sorry if I confused you there, it's my personal translation. Should I need to start my own thread?

Sorry if I confused you there, it's my personal translation. Should I need to start my own thread?

Not unless you want to. Given as we have no other Chinese TLs posting here, as I said, this is pretty much your turf.

Heck, I could even re-edit the first post to change its name to Red's and Chung's Chinese Project Thread or something.

How I feel now XDXD

(IMG:[x3.cdn03.imgwykop.pl] http://x3.cdn03.imgwykop.pl/c3201142/comment_tK4M6QNUkoisWIJon7jKorEWyuJ2vbLQ.jpg)

Proofread Script for VeryShy03 (version I have no idea how many times this has been edited lol)
Note: Red make sure your editor rereads the whole script there has been some correction on the reddened words thanks to MaxAndEmilytate's proofreading.

Translator: Herreis
RAW: https://e-hentai.org/g/703981/a1183c259c/

I cried and laughed so hard while doing this translation, I hope the jokes are able to transpire through the lingual barrier XXDD

Page 00:
VeryShy03
Produced by LaoMeng
Kantai Collection –Kancolle-

This scan is only for exchange and learning, please purchase the original book if you like this.
RAW: PK-kun
Editor: 9YU

Page 01:
VeryShy03
Produced by LaoMeng
Kantai Collection –Kancolle-

Page 02:
Bottom Right: Abandoned draft

Page 05:
Panel 1:
Box: Autumn Event Ironbottom Sound E-4
Raiding
Haruna: S…Shit! It didn’t even scratch her armour. I’ve never heard of an Abyssal this powerful!!
Girl: We’ll be fine, let’s put in more effort!!
Panel 3:
Kirishima: Admiral!! The reinforcement fleet is ready.
Kir: You can dispatch them to the field any time now!!
Panel 4:
Admiral: … Dispatch
Admiral: Shoukaku, Zuikaku, I’ll leave Kongou and the rest to both of you.
Panel 5:
SH: Roger that!! Leave them to us
SH: Standard Carrier 5th division, Shoukaku, Zuikaku, reinforcement fleet moving out!!
Panel 6:
Har: OK!!
Har: This is the last strike! My sisters, let’s give them hell before reinforcement arrives!!

Page 06:
Panel 1:
Har: All Guns…
Har: Fi…
Har: Fire…? Ehh?
SFX x2: BOOM---
Panel 2:
Kir: Onee-sama!! What’s going on there?
Kir: The other escort ships are malfunctioning!!
Kir: Please retreat immediately if this goes on…
SFX: Menacing---
Panel 3:
Har: Kirishima, please send the reinforcement team to rescue the others
Kir: But… the reinforcements should arrive at your location soon, you should…
Har: Please, this is my final request as your sister.
Kir: Onee-chan!?
Har: Disconnecting communication.
Panel 4:
Har: Akagi…
Har: Kaga…
Har: …Taihou
Har: Yamato…
Panel 5:
Har: There are still a lot of children in the naval base…
That are not independent yet.
They need someone to watch over them
Background: Admiral, there are some panties missing lately.
Have you seen them?
Har: Even if I’m gone…
Everything will be alright if all of you are still there…
Background: Admiral what do you want to eat today? I’ll make it for you
Har: Hei… Admiral
You’ll praise me… right?
Panel 6:
Har: Admiral…
Har: *sniff*… Admiral
Panel 7:
Har: Admiral!! I’ll always watch over you…
Har: Even from… Valhalla…

Page 07:
Panel 1:
Adm: Kongou My Waifu!!// Kongou My Wife!! (The former is funnier lmao)
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
SFX: BOOM—
Panel 2:
Arrow: Kongou
Arrow: Wo-class
Adm: Admiral is coming to save you nowwwwwwwwwww!!
Panel 3:
Har: …..
Director, there’s something wrong here
Panel 4:
Wo-class: Woo~
Panel 5:
Adm: Kongou you did well
Loving you is not in vain~
Har: Ad… Admiral… I…
Har: I… I…
SFX: Pats—
Panel 6:
Har: I’ve already placed the death flag dramatically, what…
What am I supposed to do now?
Har background: What are the readers that worried about me last page supposed to feel now?
Adm: Tsk Tsk Tsk, Kongou although you are my waifu (/wife), you should have a silver line of hope to live on even in the darkest of times.
Like now you’re saved aren’t you?
Admiral background: It’s okay that was intentional~
Panel 7:
Adm: Everyone seems to have misunderstood something
Adm: Do you really think that
Adm: An admiral is only good for making love?
Panel 8:
Adm: You’re completely spot ONNN!! Even in this situation,
activating my special abilities on the Abyssal Torpedo Bomber is nothing to me!!
Adm background: Next is the Admiral’s turn!
Panel 9:
Wo: Wo!?

Page 08:
Panel 1:
Wo: Woo~
Adm: Wo-class!! Did you know how many admirals wanted you?
Adm: Why are you unobtainable!?
Wo: Wo
Wo: Woo…
Adm: Swimsuit feels too good!!
Panel 2:
Adm: And you!! Airfield Princess! Why do you have such a high armor!? Why do I must use Type 3 to fight you!?
Panel 3:
Adm: Today I’ll represent all of the admirals
Adm: in place of all the admirals that gave up on this stage//level here!!
Panel 4:
Adm: I’ll use this huge penis!!
TO PUNISH YOU!!
Airfield Princess: Wait…
Air: Uhm~~

Page 09:
Panel 1:
Air: Uhm~
Adm: Uhh Ohh! There’s such a magnificent hole underneath all that heavy armor. Witness this all of my fellow admirals!!
Adm: The fearsome demon is just an insatiable slut after all!!
Panel 2:
Adm: What a marvelous pussy
Air: Hah Uhn
Adm: Of course we can’t forget about your asshole now!!
Panel 3:
Air: Hah Unh~
Air: Ahh Umh
Adm: Take this Airfield Princess!! I’ll turn all of the Admirals’ regret
Adm: into thick cum!!
Adm: I’ll fill up your womb!! Then you’ll give birth to my babies!!
Panel 4:
Adm: Now that she’s done I guess it’s your turn Wo-class?
Panel 5:
Adm: Hoo Hoo!? You actually bend over on your own will
Adm: My penis is irresistible isn’t it?
Adm: It must be hard having no one to take care of you properly in the deep sea.
Wo: Wo!
Wo: Woo~
Adm: Have no fear, today admiral will

Page 10:
Panel 1:
Adm: Love you properly!!
Wo: Wo!?
Panel 2:
Adm: Wo-class’ pussy feels so… You lewd standard carrier!!
Panel 3:
Wo: Ahh Uhm Uhm Unh Uhn Umh!!
Panel 4:
Adm: You look like you really enjoy the feeling of your pussy getting penetrated!!
Wo: Wo!
Wo: Woo~
Adm: I never thought that the Abyssal would have such a different flavor!!
Panel 5:
Adm: Uoh? Now this is really something to behold
Wo-class have this kind of expression too
Wo: Ahh ahh…
Wo: Uhh Nnh
Adm: The Wo-class that regularly bombards my shipgirls like it’s nothing
Adm: Can actually make such a cute face, I want to bring you home even more now, ha ha ha!!
Panel 6:
Adm: Uhm Unh!? What are you trying to do?
Wo: woo~
Panel 7:
Adm: Unh Umh Nnh!?
Adm: The Wo-class is trying to tell me something huh~

Page 11:
Panel 1:
Wo: Kyaa Ahh Ahh Ahh!!
Wo: Ad… Admiral’s hot cum is coming inside of me!!
Panel 2:
Yamato: Taihou look~ the admiral is here for us~
Taihou: Uun… but…
Panel 3:
Tai: The admiral looks like… he’s murmuring something strange to himself…
Panel 4:
Adm: Uhh Hnnahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh!!
Adm: Mmmmmyyyyyyy reeeessssssoooouuuurrrrcceeeesss
Panel 5:
Adm: Interrogation mode activated!! Target: The first division!!
Panel 6:
Kaga: Huh…?
Akagi: Admiral?
Adm: Are you still trying to play dead!! First division Akagi and Kaga!!
Panel 7:
Adm: Taihou you too!! Don’t try and play dead like them!!

Page 12:
Panel 1:
Adm: Just now
Adm: Wo-class told me something before she fainted.
Adm: And it made me really angry
Really angry
Yam: Unh Umh?
Yam: Nnh~
Panel 2:
Adm: Akagi-chan
Adm: Where is the barrel of bauxite that I placed in the freezer last night?
Aka: Ab… About that…
Aka: I… I
Aka: got a bit hungry…
Panel 3:
Aka: Uhm~~!!
Aka: Admiral’s penis…
Adm: Didn’t I give you 10 times the normal amount already!?
Adm: Those were meant for Souryuu and Hiryuu!!
Panel 4:
Aka: Bu… Hah… But … admiral… Hah
Aka: Isn… Isn’t it 5 times this year?
Adm: Don’t just listen to the gibberish you hear at the Naval Base!!
Aka: Hah Nnh
Aka: Ahh
Aka: Uhm~
Panel 5:
Kaga: That… admiral…
Kaga: Akagi only ate…
Kaga: Half of the… amount
SFX: Appear—
Panel 6:
Adm: Then where did the other half goooooooooooo!?
Ka: So fast!?
Ka: Tha… That
Ka: Hah

Page 13:
Panel 1:
Ka: Be… Because…
Ka: Everyone shared it together… so…
Ka: Hah
Ka: Uhm~~~
Adm: Uoh Uoh? Together?
Panel 2:
Adm: Kaga-chan is very honest!!
Adm: Here’s a special reward!!
Ka: Than… Thank you Admiral
Panel 3:
Tai: Admiral wait!!
Tai: Taihou didn’t eat any of those!!
Adm: Don’t care
Panel 4:
Tai: At least… At least spare my panties
Tai: Nooo
Tai Kyaa Ahh Ahh Ahh!!
Panel 5:
Tai: Uhh Uhh~ Don’t… Don’t look admiral…
Tai: It’s embarrassing
Adm: Tai… Taihou…
Tai: Uhh Uhh
Adm: Ahh Ehh? This…
Adm: Could this be... the legendary... the legendary item that would only appear during a newlyweds' first night!!
SFX: Doki doki (or Badump Badump)
SFX: Nervous
Panty: Admiral Love (No need to translate this)
Panel 6:
Admiral’s first confession
In twenty years
Panel 7:
Taihou has your…
My position as a secretary…
Background: Victory decisive Pantttiiiiiiiiiiieeeesssss

Page 14:
Panel 1:
SFX: Nervous---
Tai: Be… Because…
Admiral seems to…
Tai: Like big breasts like Atago’s
Tai: To serve Admiral…
Tai: I even consulted Ryuujou for advice…
Panel 2:
Tai: Rubbing admiral like this…
Tai: is one of the weapons that small-breasts possessed
Panel 3:
Adm: Wuuuooohh Ohh Ohh Ohh Ohh Ohh Ohh Ohh!!
Panel 4:
Adm: Taihou you’re wonderful!! Even if your breasts are small
Tai: Uhh Uhm~~
Adm: Small breasts have their own strength too!!
Adm: Look at your petite nipples, their sweetness completely surpasses oppai’s (big-breasts’)!!
Panel 5:
Adm: However Admiral still thinks that a loli’s best part is over here
Tai: Ehh?
SFX: *Thump*---
Panel 6:
Tai: Umnh Kyaahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh!!
SFX: Double penetration—

Page 15:
Panel 1:
Adm: Taihou’s meat holes feel so good!!
Both of them went inside completely!!
Tai: Ad… Admiral
Tai: I’m fine as long as Admiral likes Taihou
Panel 2:
Tai: Hah Ahh
Tai: Tummy… feels so hot
SFX: Shudder
Tai: It’s all in me
Adm: Uhm…
Adm: Looks like this is the last shot of the day
SFX: Drips
Panel 3:
Yam: Admiral please wait for a moment!!
Adm: Ehh? Yamato!?
Yam: I’m okay with you always putting me on the sidelines during raids
Yam: But this?
Yam: No fair!!
Bubbleless: I’ve already made my appearance at the very beginning
Bubbleless: It’s unfair if I’m the only one left without any fun
Adm: But I’ve already came so many times today, let’s return and we’ll…
Panel 4:
Yam: No way!!
Yam: Admiral says this every time, but then you’ll push me away with various excuses!!
Bubbleless: And you were so happy when you first got Yamato
Yam: Tonight, I'll take back everything with interest!!
Adm: Ehh Ehh Ehh Ehh Ehh Ehh!?

Page 16:
Hello everyone, this is LaoMeng.
I want to thank you all first for purchasing my third VeryShy.
I started this game roughly around the August of 2013.

Actually I already heard of this game around FF22, then after checking out proxy servers and VPNs, I finally managed to play this game after some effort lololol
Kancolle is a very special game, it’s simple but addictive,
and it even managed to produce so many doujins, I hope that after reading the first two pages, All of you can appreciate your shipgirls more.
I cried after making the first two pages, so I forced myself to change the story into a happier one.

Next I must apologize to everyone, besides the first two pages, the original setting is completely different from what we have now. The main reason being I started this work around 17-1-2014, initially I planned to have Shoukaku, Zuikakau, Atago and Takao to join in the fun, but having so many characters will ruin the screen time for everyone and even Yamato's part had to be trimmed, so it was inevitable that they only have minor trace in the final product.

And also this last page.

This Shimakaze was planned to appear in the end, but after all the other shipgirls’ appearance, she’s only left with this half page. I felt that this ending is really bad when I was coloring her, and so I gave up in the end.

I’m planning to do Date-A-Live Season 2 for FF24, I look forward to your care (laughs)
10-2-2014 LaoMeng

Page 17:
VeryShy03
Premier: FF23 (Fancy Frontier 22) 2/15 2/16
Author: LaoMeng
Printing: Interprint Prepess Service
Pixie ID
Gmail
Plurk
Bahamut homepage:

This post has been edited by chung2795: Jul 22 2015, 17:41

Edited version of "The voice that woke the Sleeping Beauty is as sweet as chocolate"

Link: https://e-hentai.org/g/745696/205e977f53/

Translator: Herreis
Page 01:
Title: 眠り姫を目覚める声がチョコのような甘く(The voice that woke the Sleeping Beauty is as sweet as chocolate)

Page 03: The words here are just the Chinese scanslator’s credits so I think you should clean those up.

Page 04:
Pnl 1: I said it before right?
Pnl 2: I’ll certainly… return to the Admiral’s side!
Pnl 4:
AM: What a pleasant breeze…

Page 05:
Pnl 1:
Black bubble: Ugh
AM: Uh?
Pnl 2:
AM: Uwa Ahh Ahh!
AM: Admiral!
SFX: Hish
SFX x2: *Whoosh*
Adr: Uh
Pnl 3:
AM: My bad
Pnl 4:
AM: I shouldn’t have opened the window that widely, the sea breeze blew away all of the documents…
Adm: It’s fine (Ah Ha Ha-)
Adm: Now that summer’s here, isn’t it nice to cool ourselves with the pleasant sea breeze?
Pnl 5:
Box: It has been 3 months since I returned to the Admiral’s side…
AM: You’re right.
Adm: Oh right! The watermelon should be chilled by now, shall we have some?
Box: I remember that time…

Page 06:
Pnl 1:
Box 1: The sky is as blue as ever…
Box 2: I lost my precious gears during the fierce battle
Box 3: Not to mention the pirates I met on my way back gave me an exhausting battle too.
Pnl 2 and beyond:
Box 1: Having the thoughts of
Box 2: “Will I return to the admiral’s side?”
Box 3: Who knows how many dark nights have passed since then…

Page 07:
Pnl 1:
Box: And when I opened my eyes again…
Pnl 2:
SH: I found Amatsukaze ~
AM: Uwah!
SFX: Dash
SH: Let’s race
Pnl 3:
SH x2: Let’s race~
Box: That’s right…
AM: Hold,
AM: Hold On!
Pnl 4:
SH: You promised yesterday!
SH: Don’t go back on your word~
SH x2: Race~
Box 1: During this period this brat showed up…
Box 2: …Shimakaze
Box 3: A weirdo that keeps pursuing speed all of her time…

Page 08:
Pnl 1:
AM: Who would race with you when it’s so hot today~~!
SH: Where are you going?
AM: Getting some watermelons!
SH: Oh! Then let’s race to see who gets to the watermelons first!
Box: For real~~ Shimakaze is really annoying!
Pnl 2:
AM: Having only curry everyday
AM: Don’t you get tired of it?
Pnl 3:
Adm: Curry is not only convenient but also time-saving
Adm: Besides Amatsukaze’s curry tastes different every time, I’m sure that I won’t get tired of it!
Left Side:
SFX: *Blush*
Bubbleless: Well, I added some chocolate today so it should taste great…
AM: Is, is that so?
AM: Hum Uhm~~
Pnl 4:
SFX: *Dok* / *Crash*/ *Bang*
AM: Admiral?!

Page 09:
Pnl 1:
AM: Ad…
AM: Admiral...? Died…?
SFX x2: Tremble…
SH: This tastes like…
SFX x2: *munch*
SH: the flavor of “Seduction Chocolate”.
Pnl 2:
AM: “Seduction Chocolate”?!
Bubbleless: Then why are you still eating it?
SH: This chocolate was prepared by Kongou
SH: To capture her admiral (?)
Bubbleless: Though I don’t really get it…
Kongou: I will be the one who wins over the Admiral's heart~
Kongou: I have arrived
Pnl 3:
AM: Capture?
AM: Is this rat poison?
Adm: Amatsukaze…

Page 10:
Pnl 1:
AM: Yeeahh!
AM: Where are you touching!
SFX x2: *Shudders*
Pnl 2:
AM: Uhh Uhm~
AM: Uhh!
AM: Uhm Uhm~~!
AM: Uh <3
Box: What is happening? Why did the Admiral suddenly…?
Most of the SFXs are just generic shudder and twitch
Pnl 3:
Box: Such a sacred stuff… How could we do it so lightly?
SFX: *Twitch*
AM: I can taste the chocolate from the inside of his mouth just now…
SFX: Hah Ahh-----
Box: Is it because of the chocolate?

Page 11:
Pnl 1:
AM: My body feels so hot… this is weird~~!! This is so embarrassing~~
Ok basically all of the SFXs in this page are shudder and twitch, besides the one beside Admiral’s mouth, which is “suck”
AM: Ahh Ahh
AM: Hold,
AM: hold on…
Box: Although I don’t dislike being touched by the Admiral…
Bottom Pnl:
Box 1: But this is my first time…
AM: Hah Ahh
AM: Ahh Ahh
AM: Unh~
Box: He should be more careful, and gentler…

Page 12:
Again, almost all SFXs are shudder and twitch
Pnl 1:
AM: Uhh Ahh
AM: Ahh Ahh
Pnl 2:
Box: Why did he suddenly lick there… This is so embarrassing~~
Box: I would have cleaned that part if I knew this was going to happen…
AM: Ahh <3
AM: Don’t…
AM: Don’t lick there~~
AM: Hah Ahh!
AM: Uhm ahh
AM: Stop, stop please~
Box: Something is about to come out… Not good! Please stop Ahh Ahh~~
Pnl 3:
AM: Kyeahh ahh ahh
AM: Hah Ahh
AM: No~~
AM: Ahh
AM: Umh Ahh
AM: Coming yeeahh ahh~
AM: No~~ this is so humiliating!

Page 13:
Pnl 1:
Box: What was that sensation…
AM: Hah Ahh
AM: Hah
AM: Uhm
Box: This is bad, I can’t even think properly now…
SFX: *pissing* // *leaking* // *spurting*
Box: It feels like being shocked... stimulating and pleasant...
Pnl 2:
SH: My body is getting hot too… let me take part too!
Pnl 3:
SH: Admiral, it seems that Amatsukaze can’t wait any longer…
SFX: *Waa* (like showing something in amusement)
SH: Quickly put it in <3
Box: Only if there’s something going in there… I’ll feel even better!

Page 14:
Pnl 1:
AM: Ya Ah!
AM: Ahh… I’m still a bit scared after all…
Pnl 2:
AM: Ahh
Box: Uhm Uhn~ Ouch…
AM: Yeeahh Ahh~
Pnl 3:
AM: Not Good Ahh
Box: It’s really in…!!
AM: Hah Ahh
AM: Uhm Ahh~
Pnl 4:
Box: It hurts so much down there… but it feels so good…
Moan: Uhm~~
Moan: Uhn
Moan: Hum Uhm
Box: These kinds of things actually feel so good…

Page 15:
Pnl 1:
AM: Ahh Ahh
AM: Hah
Pnl 2:
AM: No~
AM: I’m… I’m at my limit~ Ahh~
AM: Ahh
AM: Hah Ahh
AM: Uhm~
Box: That stimulating sensation is coming back again…
AM: Shima, Shimakaze?
Pnl 3:
AM: Ahh <3
SFX x2: *lick*
AM: Don’t lick~~ This is so embarrassing!
AM: Hah <3

Page 16:
Pnl 1:
AM: Don’t, Shimakaze please stop immediately!
AM: I, I…
AM: can’t hold back anymore~~
Pnl 2:
AM: Ahh
AM: Hah
AM: Noo~~
AM: I’m at my limit~~ Ahh Ahh Ahh
AM: Yaa
AM: Cumming Yaa Ahh ahh
SFX x2: (Sounds of ejaculation, I can’t remember what to write, please kindly remind me after this lol)
Pnl 3:
SH: So nice~~ Amatsukaze looks like she enjoying… Looks so pleasant…
SH: I want to feel good with Amatsukaze too…

Page 17:
Pnl 1:
AM: Ehh?
SH: However…
Pnl 2:
AM: Yaa ahh!
SH: See~~
SH: Now we can share the Admiral together!
AM: Hold, hold on…
Pnl 3:
SH: Next we’ll have to trouble the Admiral~
SFX x2: Hah---
AM: Uhh~~
Box: How did it turn out like this~~?

Page 18:
Pnl 1:
Moan: Uhh Uhm uhm
Moan: Hah Ahh Ahh
AM: Hah ahh
AM: Unh
AM: Uhm Ahh
AM: Hah
SH: Feels so great~
SH: Amatsukaze…!
Pnl 2:
Moan: Hah Ahh~ Ahh
Moan: Ahh Ahh
SH: Adimral…
SH: Faster, faster…!

Page 19: Bad editor lol
Right side:
Moan: Ahh Ahh~~
SH: I’m cumming Ahh Ahh Ahh ahh~~
SH: Ahh Ahh
SH: Ahh
SH: Hah ahh
Left Side:
Moan: ahh
Moan: Hah Ahh
Moan: Uhm
AM: Ahh, Noo~~ YeeAhh Ahh Ahh~
AM: No~
AM: Hah ahh ahh
AM: Hah
AM: Uhm~

Page 20:
Pnl 2:
Adm: Amatsukaze…
Adm: Amatsukaze…!
Box: I still remember… The voice I heard on those endless nights…
Pnl 3:
Adm: Are you alright?
Box: Ahh Ahh… It’s the Admiral…
Pnl 4:
Adm: Sorry… It must have hurt right… What happened to me…? I did something so horrible…
Adm: It hurts right? I don’t know how to redeem myself now…
AM: It’s alright.
Pnl 5:
Adm: Ehh?

Page 21:
Pnl 1:
AM: You saved me when…
AM: The superiors ordered to have me executed because I lost a battle horribly…
AM: And didn’t I say this before?
AM: I’ll certainly return to the Admiral’s side…
Pnl 2:
AM: And also…
AM: I love you…
Pnl 3:
I will take responsibility! Marry me! Amatsukaze
Ehh~~?
Yes, yes I do… If you don’t mind…
And… can you be gentler next time?
Just the two of us…
Box: Just like the sleeping beauty, I was awakened from this endless night by you…
Box: My Prince Charming…

Page 22:
Afterword:
This is Sakurano Ru, thanks for reading til the end~
The theme this time is “Summertime! Amatsukaze & Shimakaze”
Although there are no summertime bikinis, I made this with summer’s atmosphere~ (Scoff scoff XD
When I saw Amatsukaze for the first time, I decided that “I must draw her as the main character at least once”!!
Thus this chapter was born~
This chapter's theme also focuses on Amatsukaze’s pure maiden heart…
Sweet and pure sex, is my favorite hentai plotline///
The synergy between Shimakaze and Amatsukaze really stroke my heart <3
Added with my friend’s godly title “The voice that woke the Sleeping Beauty is as sweet as chocolate”
Full score on the sweetness!! My heart just keeps beating///

This chapter was also finished in a very limited time! With just a mere 14 days...
I tried to complete 2 pages per day, every day is counted with pages, and the days flew by quickly~

Does this chapter satisfy you?
I’ll work harder from now on, so please take care of me~
Sakurano Ru 2014 SUMMER

I'm the one who's editing this right now, and I got some suggestions that will improves the dialogues.
I put changed contents in []. I marked my notes in **
**None of my suggestions are perfect, feel free to criticize my suggestions**

Page 05:
Pnl 3:
AM: My bad[I'm sorry!] **girls rarely say 'my bad' unless they're boyish**
Pnl 4:
AM: I shouldn’t have opened the window that[so] widely, the sea breeze blew away all of the documents…

Page 06:
Pnl 1:
Box 1: The sky is as blue as ever[always]…

Page 10:
Pnl 1:
AM: Yeeahh![KYahhh!] **Looks better since the girl seems surprized when the admiral touched her**
Pnl 3:
Box: Such a sacred stuff… How could we do [such sacred stuff…] it so lightly?
AM: I can taste the chocolate from the inside of[the curry I made in] his mouth just now…
Box: Is it because of the chocolate? **No kidding**

Page 15:
Pnl 3:
AM: Don’t lick[Stop licking]~~ This is so embarrassing!

Page 17:
Pnl 3:
SH: Next we’ll have to trouble the Admiral[we’ll need the Admiral to do the rest]~~

Page 20:
Pnl 4:
Adm: Sorry… It must have hurt right… What [just] happened to me…? I did[How could I do] something so horrible…
Pnl 5:
Adm: Ehh?[Eh?] **Just my preference since the admiral is like "um, what?" in a short brief moment**

Page 21:
Pnl 2:
AM: I love you… **Not sure about this one since the raw version didn't finish its sentence, but sure it'll be more romantic if it was added at the end**
Pnl 3:
Box: My [Charming] Prince Charming…

This post has been edited by leungmanchiu: Jul 23 2015, 12:17

If you like the improvisations better then why not? (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) I don't really mind

The script has been edited

This post has been edited by chung2795: Aug 25 2015, 13:43

excellent, glad to have you back

editing bounty https://e-hentai.org/g/616304/45dcaa3468/

This post has been edited by Red_Piotrus: Aug 25 2015, 11:36