[X] My Assistant

Someone down the street from me who was raised in Arkansas eats squirrels. True story.

That's not a story, you fuckwad, it's a statement. You know how that gets on my nerves.

Someone down the street from me who was raised in Arkansas eats squirrels. True story.

Squirrel meat is pretty good.

That's not a story, you fuckwad, it's a statement. You know how that gets on my nerves.

My use of the word is valid if non-standard.

My use of the word is valid if non-standard.

Once upon a time someone down the street from me who was raised in Arkansas ate squirrels. True story.

(IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)

Once upon a time someone down the street from me who was raised in Arkansas ate squirrels. True story.

(IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)

Yes, that might be a "story" in the traditional sense, but you are misinformed if you think a narrative is an "essential" part of a "story". (I'd cite the OED, but I don't have online access to it anymore (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/sad.gif) )

How about this?

"Someone down the street from me who was raised in Arkansas eats squirrels."

There. That's way better. It gets the point across, and there's no nails-on-a-chalkboard sensation for me.

"Someone down the street from me who was raised in Arkansas eats squirrels."

That's what you'd call an anecdote. It's sort of a story in statement form.

I prefer limericks.

With a li'l gimmickry, you could make limericks out of anecdotes, couldn't ya?

There once was a man from the south,
who liked to put squirrels in his mouth,
only after he fucked them,
and filled them with stuffing,
a fine recipe that his family touts.

There once was a man from the south,
who liked to put squirrels in his mouth,
only after he fucked them,
and filled them with stuffing,
a fine recipe that his family touts.

Since no one else has responded, I'll channel bbgr for the second time today:
(IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif) (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/unsure.gif) (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/mellow.gif) (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

There once was a boy named Boggy,
who was feeling deliciously naughty,
he grabbed 'hold of his anus,
quickly and painless,
opened his asshole in public for free.

I don't normally like poetry, but if you ever have the chance, go to a reading by Ariana Reines.

There once was a fella named Rad,
and you thought your fetish was bad,
his lovemaking would linger,
but with a wave of his finger,
he'd switch his position with Brad.

I prefer limericks.

Ta tee, ta tee.

There once was a fella named Rad,
and you thought your fetish was bad,
his lovemaking would linger,
but with a wave of his finger,
he'd switch his position with Brad.

Wath?

Are you coming on to me, Rad?

If he did, you would know, believe me :3

Rad...Brad. There's only a B separating them.

This post has been edited by Tenseigamoon: Jul 13 2010, 20:52

Same with "rad" and "bad". I hope you can see why I did it.

Yes.

This post has been edited by Tenseigamoon: Jul 13 2010, 20:52