[X] My Assistant

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Now that's quite the event.

I'll make a Facebook event.

This is probably a lie.

Not being on facebook, I wouldn't know whether you did or not.

So I'll just believe the best.

March 28th is 'Change Your Avatar and Sig Set to flintsday!'

No it's not, though it is an important day. I'm glad you understand that.

THAT WAS COMPLETELY ON ACCIDENT!

This is probably not a lie :3

I know you well enough (I think) to know that's a fucking lie.

And on that day, Land of Confusion by Phil Collins shall be played despite the protests by the audience.

Man, the 28th of March is getting more important by the minute.

23rd is more important. (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/dry.gif)

NOPE!

So after some self-reflection and analyzing, I've come to the conclusion that I'm clearly gay. Too much about women turns me off as opposed to men. Problem now is that nobody will accept my lifestyle. Not my family, not my friends. I'd have to move to find a better gay community, because Maine sucks for finding men. This self discovery is pretty much the reason why I think I'm so miserable all the time. I don't think I'm all that desirable to most men looks-wise. I wish I could just be happy alone. I've got a good job and plenty of free time, but my life is missing something. Someone special I can share and have a better more fulfilling life with.

It's times like this I hate my own humanity. With the need for social interaction and bonding. We try to know about each other and yet most of the time we know very little about ourselves. If it wasn't hard trying to appeal to opposite sex, appealing to those of the same sex is a different ballgame in itself. I know what I want from life, but to go after it would mean abandoning my own safety net I've made for life. To give up the people, who while aren't the best people in my life, know I exist and do somewhat care for me. But as days go by and I see people around me forget about me one by one, my urge to find and connect to others becomes ever so stronger, the need to find someone who can make me feel wanted in this world above all else.

Some things aren't meant to be, I guess. What is life if we had everything that we wanted. I could say my life could always be worse, but I hate the thought of comparing my problems to those who might as well just be unfortunate. The fact that I desire more out of life tells me I'm alive and want to live my life. That I'm not so happy and content with what I have that I need something more tells me I'm not dead yet or willing to roll over and call it quits and take what I got for what it is.

However, I suppose after seeing with how other people treat one another as they have me, I feel that my efforts would be in vain. I have tried before and found myself alone and depressed, again. Falling into poor habits like drinking to forget why I feel the way I do. I suppose I'm just a coward, aware of his faults and flaws and unable to correct them. Maybe I've just been so miserable before that I just keep myself in this mind frame for so long that I fear to try my hand at life, again.

I don't know... God damn, I hate thinking.

This post has been edited by Rob Itagaki: Mar 20 2011, 21:08

It's a step in the right direction anytime you learn something new about yourself. The fact that you've come to this point in your life shouldn't be one that depresses you but one that now allows you to pursue that which you truly want in life.

It's sad that the simple act of love or attraction can still be seen through such hatred or misunderstanding. There's no doubt that choosing a life of homosexuality is a much tougher one than that of the "normal" heterosexuality, especially when you live in an area or with relatives who cannot understand or accept that lifestyle. But the fact that you've cut through any doubts or confusion must be viewed through a more positive prism.

That safety net you speak of is a tough one to leave behind. You know my story, you know how I got to be where I am. I could have easily stayed in Florida, near family that always had my back and working a job that allowed me extra money to be comfortable, but I instead chose to go after what I really wanted. It hasn't been an easy road and I'm certainly worried about what is going to happen here soon if I can't find gainful employment, but I regard this as one of the best decisions I've ever made. I love where I am and I wouldn't go back to the way things were even though I could rest a bit easier knowing everything would be alright.

Take your time and decide what the best course of action is. You know there are things you want out of life and it's up to you to go after them. You only get one crack at this thing called life and living your life out of fear of the unknown will only lead to regret of missed opportunities in the future.

Maybe I made no sense here and maybe I have no place to even reply, but just take this as the words of someone who cares man.

Alot of that reminds me of me, Rob. Except you could probably make something out of life.

Maybe I made no sense here and maybe I have no place to even reply, but just take this as the words of someone who cares man.

Nah, you've been pretty cool to me and I do think of you as a friend and value your thoughts and insight with honest regard.

Alot of that reminds me of me, Rob. Except you could probably make something out of life.

You don't strike me as gay, at all. Longing for other people's attention at times, but not gay.

I could be with someone regardless of gender. Personality is most important to me. Though I have my own issues to get around.

well, a lot happens when I am not around, for what I see.

I could be with someone regardless of gender. Personality is most important to me. Though I have my own issues to get around.

So you're pansexual?

well, a lot happens when I am not around, for what I see.

Same here. Seems like shit actually happens when I don't come around for like a week.

Same here. Seems like shit actually happens when I don't come around for like a week.

You can't take a break from this place if you want to keep up. Find time or be left behind!

I've been obsessed with my new 360. So I haven't exactly made time for these here forums.

You can always make time for these here forums. Quit making excuses.