[X] My Assistant

editing bounty is at https://e-hentai.org/bounty.php?bid=10845

what do you think of editing quality for https://e-hentai.org/g/325306/f84449cad4/ ? should we redo it or just borrow their pages for a complete relase (of course Vitality&SaHa will get credited). Given it was SaHa we are probably fine just using their pages... quality seems good?

It looks good to me.

Here we are then. I numbered the pages as to the original gallery, NOT the printed page numbers. Nothing really super important to point out, though there are a couple of basically untranslatable Japanese jokes further in the doujin. I pointed these out and did what I can do, but translated humor is NOT really my forte. Since the editing bounty is already up, I'm going to put in my claim.

UF


Ura Ray-out (pp 38-57), version 1.0
by ultimaflaral

"Alt:" = Alternative translation, based on your preferences
"Lit:" = More literal translation, if you want to keep a more authentic feeling (at the usual expense of good english)
"[Att]" = next touching bubble


Page 38

RENTOOON!

Renton, get out heeere!

Hey, have you seen Renton?

That guy again. Just what's he done this time?

He was walking around with an armful of laundry earlier, so maybe he's in the laundry room?

Thank you! [lit: engrish, Sankyuu]


Page 39

So now it's a gravure bikini, is it~? Just a dull, one-pattern thing...

You're right... [other man]

Why not take the plunge and try "Hair Nude?" [TL Note: "Hair Nude" photos are pictures that explicitly reveal pubic hair, and thus ride the fine line of obscenity and censorship in Japan.]

No, adult videos would be better.

[freetext = Heeheehee]

TEI! [meaningless shout, vaguely martial-artsy]

[sfx = Ga! [smack]]

Gya!


page 40

You want to see that badly? I don't really care, but...

[sign] Keep things neat and clean. [handwritten] No messes!! [note: right side appears to be an umbrella of love with Renton and Eureka's names, though given the size it's hard to be 100% sure]

My crotch doesn't get big or have anything attached down there like Renton's does.

[panel 2 sfx = doki [Ba-bump]]

Okay then... Take off your panties.

[panel 3 sfx = biku! [twitch/shocked]]

!!


Page 41

This is Eureka's pussy...

[att] The pink folds are shiny and beautiful...

Ah!

[small sfx at hands = piku [small twitch], bigger black sfx = gui! [pull]]

They're shivering like they belong to a completely separate living creature.

You...You shouldn't spread it like that...!

[panel 2 sfx = pecha [slurp]]

Ah!

D-Don't! Not that!

[sfx = zoku [shiver]]


Page 42

Ah!

[sfx = rero [licking]]

Mn!

Mnn!

...!

[sfx = Chu + Churu [slurping sounds]]

Somehow...I'm feeling strange...

[sfx = piku! [twitching]]

You're driving me wild...!

[bottom right panel] Aaggh!

Hah...

[sfx = jichu + jyu [wet, squishy thrusting]]

[bottom left panel] Yaah...!

Ah...!

Haaah![bold]

[sfx = biku! [twitch]]


page 43

I'm peeeeiing!!

[white sfx = bikun! [shudder], patterned sfx = biku! [twitch], bottom sfx = shaaaa~~ [tinkle, release of...piss?]]


page 44

Amazing, Eureka!!

Hah...

Hah...

Ah...!

[sfx = kupa! [spread]]

Hah...

So this is what it means for a girl to cum!!

Hah...

This is the first time I've seen it.

[sfx = Hah]

You let a lot out, like you were pissing...

[sfx = shiko! [stroke]]

I...I'm already...

[last panel sfx = puru [quivering]]

[last 2 bubbles are one sentence, split where you want] I want to see you even filthier! [lit: soiling you more]


page 45

It's going in!

[patterned sfx = Zun [thrust], black sfx = zuchu! [squelch]]

Ah!

I'm moving. [alt: going to move would be my preference for Eng, but bubble is small]

[3rd panel, sfx = Zu + Zu + Zuchu [thrust + thrusty-squelchy noises], tall sfx left of cock = nyurururu... [sliiiip..., or squeeeeze...]]

Nnnnh!

That's incredible, Renton...!

I...

have become one with Renton...!


Page 46

Ah!

[sfx = Zun [thrust]]

Aaah!

[sfx = Bu! [smack] + Zuchu [squelchy thrust] + Zun [thrust] + Zuchu]

So deep...It's going so deep!

Nnh!

[sfx = Jubu! + Zun + Zu [all thrusting noises]]


Page 47

I CAN FLY! [Note: This is said in English. If you watched the show, this is a phrase he used at least twice, the first time when jumping off a cliff in the early episodes, and near the end of the show during the climax. Sort of a stock phrase]

[panel 2 sfx = Biku! [twitch]]

Ha...Aaah!

[panel 3 sfx = bikun! [shudder]]

Eurekaaa!

I love yooouu!

[white sfx = dopu! [spurt!], sfx bubble = byururu [Spluuuurt], bottom sfx = doku [spurt]]

No! Renton! You can't cum insiiiide!


page 48

Eurekaaa

I love you so muuuch... [lit: "ai", rather than "suki" from earlier pages. A more loving sort of love, if that makes any sense at all]

[sfx = kun [sniff]]

"Ah... Eureka's panties, I wonder if I could smell her urine..." [note: I believe she's speaking as if voicing his thoughts; hence the quotes.]

Gyaa!

[panel 3 freetext] Ooohohoho

Looks like you're having fun, Renton.

[att] This is hardly just doing laundry, though.

Ta...! TALHO-SAN! [smaller] Were you watching me!?

By the way, those are MY panties.

"I love yoouuu...! Eureka~~! Sniff, sniff, puaaah!"

[both freetext = Ooohohoho]

[small bubble] But they were mine.

Wai...! Please, wait a minute!

Wawa! [literal, sort of a flustered noise, similar to "hau"]

I'll do whatever you say, just please keep this a secret! [lit: I'll listen to anything you say, but its understood in Japanese that you won't say no]

Anything?

[freetext] Nee-san... My life seems to be growing dark...

ANYTHING!


page 49

[sfx = gokyu [big gulps]]

[panel 2 text over head is "Kuuu~~~!", something she actually says]

Puaaah~~!

One more. [alt: another round]

[freetext] Hic [as in hiccup]]

[sfx = Don [smack]]

[panel 4 freetext] Oraa! [alt: Come on, bring it, etc]

Whaaat's wrong? Get me a refill already!

Um...you've actually drank through it all already...

All...cohol? [MAKING IT UP, read the note]

[freetext = Uuuu~~~]

[bold] Don't try to joke about this!

[NOTE: the last couple of panels have some untranslatable japanese humor. Renton says "...zenbu KARA..." for "through it all." Talho is drunk and thinks his "kara" is actually the kara of "辛", a kanji which, among other uses, can refer to dry (i.e. unsweet) alcohol or people who like sake. There's really almost nothing I can do for homonym humor. I tried to make a sort-of joke between "all" and "all...cohol", but feel free to come up with a cleverer joke.]


Page 50

Aah... With all that beer,

I really need to take a whiz...

Rentooon

Y...

[att] Yes!?

From here on, you are a toilet. [lit: become a toilet]

What?

[bold] You're going to do whatever I say, right!? Come on, then. Strip!

[sfx = Mu! [similar to "Grr" in English, shows she's mad]]

My... My underwear too?

Underwear too!

You're hands are in the way! A toilet should know nothing of shame!

[sfx = buru [tremble], lower sfx near hips and elbow = gaku [shaking]]

Uuu...

You saying I shouldn't look at your pathetic thing?


Page 51

Well then, lie down while I do this.

Is she seriously...?

[sfx = doki [Ba-bump]]

Uwaaa...

She really is going to spray it right on my face... This seems both lucky and unlucky...

What's wrong? That's a grim expression. [lit: he's looking grimly at her]

Having a strange feeling?

[sfx = nipaa [spread]]


Page 52

I-I...I've never gotten a good look at a w-woman's skin before.

[sfx = Drip...!]

Ooohohoho! You're a virgin, right?

Yes...? [lit: Yes, but so what?/why ask?, honestly curious]

Onee-san is going to take...that...from...you!

[sfx behind her head = Ohoho, sfx bubble = kui! [pull]]

Eh?

Ah...!

UAAAAAHH~~~!

Hah.

[sfx = Zu! [thrust]]


Page 53

Uu! Uwaa! [this is renton]

Wawawawa! [also renton]

[black sfx = zu! [thrust], white sfx = zun [slightly more impressive thrust]]

Oh no! I am connected to Renton!

[sfx = zu! [thrust]]

I'm stealing the virginity of Renton's dick! [lit: had to screw with the language a bit. "Stole his virgin penis" somehow doesn't convey it properly in Eng]


page 54

So? My insides feel good, don't they?

Y...Yes, incredibly good.

[sfx = zun [thrust]]

Who the hell is "incredibly loose!?" [apparently misheard "sugoku" (incredibly) as "yuruyuru" (loose)? Not really that linguistically close, but whatever]

[sfx = Nu! [slip]]

That isn't what I said!

Nnnh!

It's going in!

[sfx = Zububu! [schlurp!]]


page 55

Aaah...!

Ah...

[right sfx = Buruburu! [shivering], left sfx = pushaaaa... [squiiiirt...], bottom right sfx = nupu! [hard to tell here, squeezing? dick sliding?]

Haah...

Haah...

[sfx bubble = Gopupu! [slowly pulling out, plopping sounds]]

Haah...

H...Huh?

Haaah!


page 56

Geez, you! You weren't supposed to cum inside! H-Hey, this was supposed to be a joke, but it isn't funny any more!

[sfx = kupaa [spreading]]

I didn't know that!

Weren't you the one who attacked me in the first place, Talho-san!?

Even though you're just a toilet, you still think you can talk back?

[sfx = deroooon [Oooooze]]

Oh no...! It's all drooping out...! Good grief!


page 57

What are you looking all vacant for? There's still toilet work left to do.

What a slow kid...

[tiny sfx bubble = kui! [pull]]

Get a goooood look down here. It's all dirty, right?

What are you doing, Renton?

[sfx = biku! [shudder]]

E-EUREKA!

[sfx = Gaaaan! [Shocked]]

Y...You're wrong! There were a bunch of circumstances for all this...

Circumstances?

[upper left] You want in too?

T-Talho-san!

[bottom text near skull = Gyafun [shocked beyond words]]

Waiting for an update; editor: https://forums.e-hentai.org/index.php?showuser=1091203 has accepted this a while back, but has not provided an update (after receiving mine and ulti's comments on v1 at [www.mediafire.com] https://www.mediafire.com/?bckco5vgq26if90 ) since late November. Noting this here as a reminder to myself who's working on this and since when.

Hey I'm here v2 is ready now you can get it here.
[www.mediafire.com] https://www.mediafire.com/?oaz0o76opp6lbfp
This one has all the sfx done (sorry again for not doing those the first time) and UF's edits. Everything should be in order but if there is something that's out of order message me and I'll stop what I'm doing and re-edit right away! This should be the final version if I did everything right so I look foward to hearing back from you.

Assuming this is the same archive you sent me by PM, everything looks good except for page 52, which is MISSING. I sent you a follow-up PM.

UF

Final check: I am missing p.55 (our numbering, 54 dojin numbering)... and I don't see them in any archive.