[X] My Assistant

EHCOVE [Barbaroi no Sato (Ryuuka Ryou)] Bishounen Kari (Vampire Princess Miyu)

Bounty page

[dl.dropboxusercontent.com] Script DL link

Looks good. I PMed on IRC Kalevala about the uwatermarked credit page. He should get back to us soon, I hope.

editing bounty: https://e-hentai.org/bounty.php?bid=12354

This post has been edited by Red_Piotrus: May 1 2015, 18:53

https://e-hentai.org/bounty.php?bid=11104
EHCOVE (C84) [HellDevice (nalvas)] Osawari Nadeshiko (Chihayafuru) -> Eng
Just wrapped this up. Sent the script in a PM.

Excellent. Editing bounty for Chihayafuru posted: https://e-hentai.org/bounty.php?bid=12377

Also posted the bounty for Daisuki na Hito (Kancolle) that amped finished a while ago, it seems I forgot about it: https://e-hentai.org/bounty.php?bid=12378 and Suguha SOA's by kdrt: https://e-hentai.org/bounty.php?bid=12379

This post has been edited by Red_Piotrus: May 6 2015, 10:09

I've PMed Red Piotrus about it, and have accepted the bounty for editing Daisuki na Hito (Kancolle). I should have it ready within two weeks.

This post has been edited by bearsridingdolphins: May 13 2015, 07:25

As per instructions of Red Piotrus I'm adding my script here

https://e-hentai.org/s/6d4f542795/358796-5

Translation for pages 5-12 in attachment.

I'm looking for a TLC and editor for this one please.  yoshilynne_1_0.txt ( 12.48k ) Number of downloads: 40


This post has been edited by gravytub: May 14 2015, 16:02

As per instructions of Red Piotrus I'm adding my script here

https://e-hentai.org/s/6d4f542795/358796-5

Translation for pages 5-12 in attachment.

I'm looking for a TLC and editor for this one please.

Hmmm, I don't see any attachment...?

I'll post an editing bounty soon; I've contacted our proofreaders too.

Btw, why just 5-12? Will you do 13+ later, or not interested?

----

Unrelated: editing bounty for the Kannagi script (another one I forgot about for a while, wow, I am getting senile)

https://e-hentai.org/bounty.php?bid=12412

This post has been edited by Red_Piotrus: May 14 2015, 07:54

Okay, I didn't know I had to embed it too. I'm not really interested doing the others. This one was funny enough.

Okay, I didn't know I had to embed it too. I'm not really interested doing the others. This one was funny enough.

Fair enough; I guess I'll post a bounty for the rest, as I'd like to release a complete gallery. Is there anything else you find interesting from our current list of proposed projects?

I wish to edit EHCOVE [Studio Empty (Nishi)] Ai no Solea (Detective Conan) - editing.

This is a sample that i had to butcher a lot for readability.
[puu.sh] http://puu.sh/hOSty.jpg

This post has been edited by afire1: May 16 2015, 04:10

As per instructions of Red Piotrus I'm adding my script here

https://e-hentai.org/s/6d4f542795/358796-5

Translation for pages 5-12 in attachment.

I'm looking for a TLC and editor for this one please.  yoshilynne_1_0.txt ( 12.48k ) Number of downloads: 40

I've proofread it. Here's an attachment:  Proofreading_YoshiLynne_1_1.txt ( 16.27k ) Number of downloads: 35


I've done it slightly different from before. "-----" means a suggestion, "+++++" are comments.

Below is the changelog. I also need some feedback on some of the line, and have added subheadings in the script for pages 11 and 12 as well.

Page 6

念の為に
聞かせてね?
Just in case, tell us okay?
----- "...tell us, okay?"
+++++ Considering they're using "okay" to calm her down, this should be better.


Page 7

そうなると
薬物どの
可性達だけお
Then it is only possible with the usage of drugs. (TL: medications perhaps?)
----- "...with the use of drugs."
+++++ In the interest of editors, drugs may be better, in case medications is too long.
+++++ Also, I'd suggest "...with the use of drugs.", since "usage" is a noun that, IMO, describes "a particular convention or habit of using something".
+++++ However, "use" is a verb, and seems to be a more fitting word here.

私の管理下では該当するお薬は置いていませんよ
You can not get such medications under my management. (TL: or "you don't get treated with such medications under my care")
+++++ The first statement implies that the medication in question is unavailable.
+++++ The second statement implies that she does not want to use the medication in question.
+++++ Which is it?

育児休暇で
中の人を
交代するか？
Do you need a substitution while you're on maternity leave?
+++++ Just making sure that they ARE talking about maternity leave. Is she seen as a mother? Was this a joke?


Page 8

そもそも妊娠なら
母乳が出るのは
大体妊娠５ヶ月目
以降ですから。。。
And if it is pregnancy, breast milk is only appearing after the 5th month of pregnancy or later.
----- "And if it pregnancy, breast milk only appears after the 5th month of pregnancy or later."
+++++ I wonder if editors will find it better to write "fifth" instead of "5th".


今は任務よりも
リーネちゃんの身体を
心配すぐきですよ！！！
We should be worrying about the body of Lynne-chan now!
+++++ Normally, in English, we would write "Lynne's body". But with the added honorific, "Lynne-chan's body" might sound awkward.
+++++ Any other Native English speakers that have an opinion on this? I know I am, but still.


。。。お忘れかも
知れませんが
私の家は代々
医者の家系です。
...you might forgot, that I came from a house that has generations of doctors.
----- "...you might've forgotten that I come/came from a house that has generations of doctors."
----- "...you might've forgotten, but I come/came from a house that has generations of doctors."
+++++ Awkward tenses here. "...you might" is conditional, "forgot" is past.
+++++ "come" would suggest that she is part of the family of the "generations of doctors".
+++++ "came" I think would suggest that she might've been taught by the house in question.


。。。だから
コレは一種の
医療行為と
思って。。。
...so this is a kind of medical treatment... I think.
----- "...so this is a kind of a medical treatment... I think."

汚れちゃうから
服を全部脱いで
。。。ペリーネちゃんの
ベツド借りょっか
Since your clothes could get dirty, take them all off
...we'll be borrowing the bed of Perrine-chan.
----- "...we'll be borrowing Perrine-chan's bed."
+++++ Again, need some feedback. Is "Perrine-chan's bed" better, or should we leave it to "bed of Perrine-chan"?


Page 9

SFX: ぴと
TL: basically a gentle touch, have no idea what it could be translated to in English
+++++ Carress?

Page 11

流石は
医者さんの
家系だね！
As expcted from a damily of doctors
----- "As expected from a family of doctors"

Page 12

月経の苦痛を軽減し
周期を整える他に
避妊にも効果のある
画期的な薬なのだ！
plus it reduces mentruational cramps and it's an effective contraceptive.
----- "menstruational"



There ya go.

First of all, thanks for proofreading the script. I undoubtly need it, since my native language is not English, so I tend to make mistakes.

念の為に
聞かせてね?
Just in case, tell us okay?
----- "...tell us, okay?"
+++++ Considering they're using "okay" to calm her down, this should be better.

Okay.

そうなると
薬物どの
可性達だけお
Then it is only possible with the usage of drugs. (TL: medications perhaps?)
----- "...with the use of drugs."
+++++ In the interest of editors, drugs may be better, in case medications is too long.
+++++ Also, I'd suggest "...with the use of drugs.", since "usage" is a noun that, IMO, describes "a particular convention or habit of using something".
+++++ However, "use" is a verb, and seems to be a more fitting word here.

Accepted.

私の管理下では該当するお薬は置いていませんよ
You can not get such medications under my management. (TL: or "you don't get treated with such medications under my care")
+++++ The first statement implies that the medication in question is unavailable.
+++++ The second statement implies that she does not want to use the medication in question.
+++++ Which is it?

It's rather that she does not want to prescribe medications that have these side-effects. So it's the latter case.

育児休暇で
中の人を
交代するか？
Do you need a substitution while you're on maternity leave?
+++++ Just making sure that they ARE talking about maternity leave. Is she seen as a mother? Was this a joke?

Yes. Sakamoto thinks that the reason behind Lynette's lactation is pregnancy, that is why she asks about maternity leave. It turns out later that she is not actually pregnant.

そもそも妊娠なら
母乳が出るのは
大体妊娠５ヶ月目
以降ですから。。。
And if it is pregnancy, breast milk is only appearing after the 5th month of pregnancy or later.
----- "And if it pregnancy, breast milk only appears after the 5th month of pregnancy or later."
+++++ I wonder if editors will find it better to write "fifth" instead of "5th".

My bad. it should be "fifth". I tend to shorten things while translating.

今は任務よりも
リーネちゃんの身体を
心配すぐきですよ！！！
We should be worrying about the body of Lynne-chan now!
+++++ Normally, in English, we would write "Lynne's body". But with the added honorific, "Lynne-chan's body" might sound awkward.
+++++ Any other Native English speakers that have an opinion on this? I know I am, but still.

I really don't know about that. I would be okay with "...about Lynne-chan's body now!". But then again, I'm not a native speaker.

。。。お忘れかも
知れませんが
私の家は代々
医者の家系です。
...you might forgot, that I came from a house that has generations of doctors.
----- "...you might've forgotten that I come/came from a house that has generations of doctors."
----- "...you might've forgotten, but I come/came from a house that has generations of doctors."
+++++ Awkward tenses here. "...you might" is conditional, "forgot" is past.
+++++ "come" would suggest that she is part of the family of the "generations of doctors".
+++++ "came" I think would suggest that she might've been taught by the house in question.

Then I think the correct sentence is "...you might have forgotten that I come from a house that has generations of doctors.". I would rather use "might have" because the speaker speaks in a more serious tone here.

。。。だから
コレは一種の
医療行為と
思って。。。
...so this is a kind of medical treatment... I think.
----- "...so this is a kind of a medical treatment... I think."

I agree there. Typo.

汚れちゃうから
服を全部脱いで
。。。ペリーネちゃんの
ベツド借りょっか
Since your clothes could get dirty, take them all off
...we'll be borrowing the bed of Perrine-chan.
----- "...we'll be borrowing Perrine-chan's bed."
+++++ Again, need some feedback. Is "Perrine-chan's bed" better, or should we leave it to "bed of Perrine-chan"?

With hindsight I agree with that. "Perrine-chan's bed" sounds better

SFX: ぴと
TL: basically a gentle touch, have no idea what it could be translated to in English
+++++ Carress?

I guess that could work.

Page 11

流石は
医者さんの
家系だね！
As expcted from a damily of doctors
----- "As expected from a family of doctors"

Page 12

月経の苦痛を軽減し
周期を整える他に
避妊にも効果のある
画期的な薬なのだ！
plus it reduces mentruational cramps and it's an effective contraceptive.
----- "menstruational"

Again: typos. You are absolutely right.



Thank you for your work again.

Additional proofread for Majobiyori:

PG6

Well this is breast milk indeed.

S: Well this is certainly/definitely breast milk.

Just in case, tell us okay?

S: Be honest with us, okay? (Honestly I think "just in case" doesn't fit well here)

PG7

Do you need a substitution while you're on maternity leave?

C: Do you need a substitute while you're on maternity leave?

It is painful because milk accumulated in her breasts

S: It is painful because of the accumulated milk in her breasts.

PG9

These can also get clogged if you don't drain all the milk out of them and can also cause a disease.

S: These can get clogged if you don't drain all the milk out of them which can lead to a disease.

PG10

Thank you! They became much more comfortable

S: Thank you! They're much more comfortable now.

It became lighter

S: They're lighter.

That painkiller medicine I've taken before also had great effect

S: That painkiller I took before had great effect as well. (Painkiller is already a kind of drug/medicine so I think the "medicine" is unnecessary and since medicine is removed here, change "medicine" to "painkiller" in the next 2 lines and then remove the "medicine" in the line after that)

It artifically changes hormone levels

S: It changes hormone levels artificially.

Depending on the bodily conditions it seems breast milk can also come out!

C: Depending on the body conditions, it seems breast milk can come out as well.

And this way the cause of this commotion was found

S: And with this, the cause of this commotion was found.

What's this sweet smell coming out of my bed?

S: What's this sweet smell coming from my bed?

The page partition went missing after 10.

Damn I'm rusty. So this is what happens when you barely have any social contact for a few months.

Yeah, I agree with all of CrimsonClown's suggestions. They definitely make the script better, and less cringe-worthy. Thank you for your additions.

Thank you for your work too CrimsonClown.

Here is the edited script with the page partition's and BakaStratos' and CrimsonClown's suggestions:

 Proofreading_YoshiLynne_1_2.txt ( 12.1k ) Number of downloads: 52


This post has been edited by gravytub: May 19 2015, 11:10

Translation for this bounty.
Transcribing by litinium, translation by me.

ｐ０１
砂漠の姫君
Princess of the desert
ｐ０２
戦争は終わった
The war is over
俺たちバロックワークスの勝利だ
It is our.. Baroque Works' victory
アラバスタは俺たちが掌握した
We have seized the Alabasta
フン、何にらみつけてやがる
Hmph, what are you looking at
あっ
Ah!
ｐ０３
エージェントとして振る舞って間、体を汚す事もあったろうにきれいな体をしてるな
While doing your job as an agent, surely you have defiled your body, yet it is still pretty
俺が憎いか、ビビ
Do you hate me, Vivi?
だがな、お前はこれから俺の子を孕むことになるんだ！
But, From now on you will bear my child!
ふざけないで！死んでも受け入れるもんですか
Don't be foolish! I'd rather die than accept it!
ｐ０４
い、いやっ…！
No, No..!
フン、男を喜ばす術はなってねぇな
Heh, That's not a way to please a man
ああっ…
Aaaah...
ひあぁっ
Hyaaah...
しょうがねぇ姫様だぜ
It can't be helped, princess
よし、決めたぞ
All right, I've decided
ｐ０５
てめぇが俺の子を孕むまで、たっぷりと男を喜ばせる術を叩きこんでやる
Until you are pregnant with my child, I shall train you how to please a man
だ、だれが…
wh-who would...
何だ、その気になれないってのか？
what, you don't want to?
いいだろう、アレも見ればイやがおうでもその気になるさ
Well, If you take a look at her, you will do it even if you don't want to
ふうぅっ！！
Aaah!
ｐ０６
あーっ
Ah
あっ
Ah
んはぁっ
Ahhh
こ、こんなこと…
Th-This...
こわれるぅっ
I'm going crazy
もうダメッ…
I can't...
壊れちゃうっ
I'll be crazy
ｐ０７
酷いことを…すぐにナミさんをここから出しなさい！
How cruel! Get Nami out of here now!
酷い？むしろ慈悲深いもんだ
Cruel? It's actually a merciful thing to do
あうッ
Ah
アッ
Ah
こいつらは俺にたてついた本来ならブチ殺してワニの餌にでもするところだ
They are rebelling against me. Originally I will kill and feed them to the crocodiles
ただし、お前が俺に従うなら、
However, if you obey me...
こいつらは、このまま生かしておいてやってもいい
I will let those guys live
どうだ？
What do you think?
………
....

ｐ０８
一緒にお風呂…なんて…
To bath together...
これは…恥ずかしい…
This is ... so embarassing
しかも、いかつい男の人ばっかり…
And it's full of rugged people
頭ぁ、こいつで遊んでもいいんで？
Chief, Can we play with this girl
そうだな！
Do what you like
よぉし、アラバスタを取った祝いだてめぇら
All right! It's celebration for Alabasta, guys!

ｐ０９
遊べ
"play"
ひっ
Ah
ヒャッハー！
Hyaaah!
そうこなくっちゃ！
Don't touch me there
い、いやああ！！
N-Nooooo!
ｐ１０
前戯ナシでさっそくいただくぜぇ！
Let's drop foreplay and just cut to the chase
ひあああっ
Hyaah!
おおっすげえ反応！ビクビクしてるぜっ
Nice reaction! You're squeezing me
アアッ
Aah
アッ
Ah
この男たち…私をオモチャみたいに…
These guys... treat me like a toy
たまんねぇぜ　俺もはやくヤりてぇ
Awesome, I want to do her too
ふぐっ
ugh
ふあッ
Ah
アッ
Ah
あせんなよ１０　順番なんだからよ
Be patient, wait for your turn
ｐ１１
エージェントの時から目つけてたんだよなぁ
I've been waiting for this since you are an agent
一発ヤりてぇ、ってよぉ
I want to do it once
この、ケツ…
This.. ass...
ハァーッ
Haa
ハーッ
Haa
この太もも…
This thigh, too
まさか姫サマだったなんてなぁ…！
Who would've thought you're a princess
ふ、ふぐぅ！
U, Ugh
おおし、俺だぁ！
All right, my turn!
え、そこ…ちが…！
Eh!? That's not...!
ｐ１２
いいいいっ
Noooo!
や、だめ…動か…さないで…
No, don't... move...
へへへ、だんだん滑らかになってきたぜ
hehehe, it keeps getting wet
うああっ
Aahh
こいつ、レイプ願望でもあんじゃあねぇか
This girl, Perhaps she likes being raped?
ｐ１３
嘘よ…嘘、私…
No, You're wrong, I...
そんな女じゃ…
..am not that kind of woman
よぉし出すぞっ
All right! I'm going to cum!
や、だめぇ
No! Don't!
おおおっ
Oooh!

ｐ１４
へへへ、ビビちゃん…　俺ともラブラブしようぜぇ
Hehehe, Vivi-chan, Let's lovey-dovey too
ふ、ふう…んっ
U, Ugh
んんっ
Ahhh
あっ
Ah

ｐ１５
見てなさい…クロコダイル…
Look at me crocodile
こんなことで…
Even if you do this..
私は…
I..
負けない…
will not lose..

Proofread for Princess of the Dessert:

P02

We have seized the Alabasta

C: "We have seized Alabasta" or "We have seized the Alabasta Kingdom".

Hmph, what are you looking at

C: Hmph, what are you looking at!?

P03

While doing your job as an agent, surely you have defiled your body, yet it is still pretty

S: Surely you have defiled your body while doing your job as an agent, yet it's still pretty.

P06

I'll be crazy

C: I'll go crazy.

P07

They are rebelling against me. Originally I will kill and feed them to the crocodiles

C: They were rebelling against me. Normally/Usually, I would kill and feed them to the crocodiles.

P08

To bath together...

C: To bathe together...

Do what you like

S: Do as you please.

P10

Let's drop foreplay and just cut to the chase

C: Let's drop the foreplay and just cut to the chase.

These guys... treat me like a toy

S: These guys... are treating me like a toy.

P11

I've been waiting for this since you are an agent

C: I've been waiting for this since you were an agent.

I want to do it once

C: I wanted to do it once.

Who would've thought you're a princess

C: Who would've thought that you're a princess.

P14

Hehehe, Vivi-chan, Let's lovey-dovey too

C: Hehehe, Vivi-chan, let's get lovey-dovey too.

Sorry red, the link that i pm you has been change hq raw. But i don't put the sfw yet. Just check back the page here and realised the existence of sfx script.

Please qc that, i will continue editing sfx.

EHCOVE [Studio Empty (Nishi)] Ai no Solea (Detective Conan) - editing

Proofread for Bishounen Kari:

Page 10

This is second floor, you know?

C: This is the second floor, you know?

Page 23

Busy enjoying those cutey boys of yours, I take it?

C: Busy enjoying those cute boys of yours, I take it?

Page 25

thank you for picking up this comic book.

C: Just "book" or "doujin" and not "comic book".

If you happen to notice something strange about Miyu's kimono

C: If you happen to notice something strange with Miyu's kimono.

A lame excuse, but please don't mind me.

S: "Forgive me" would be better than "don't mind me".

no wonder that a wide range of emotions come crashing in on me. It is very moving indeed.

C: It's no wonder that a wide range of emotions came crashing in on me. It was very moving indeed.

I've completed the editing of all pages of Daisuki na Hito (KanColle). It proceeded much quicker once I realized I didn't need to translate every single sfx. [www.mediafire.com] Here it is for QC.

I haven't done the credits page, but I should definitely have it done by tomorrow. One thing I was wondering, was amped's requested pic to be used for the credits page a joke, or an actual request? To me it seemed to be a joke, but of course you can never tell for sure on the internet.

wow, lot of stuff happened here in the last few days (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

--

editing bounty for the Strike Witches 7 pages story posted

https://e-hentai.org/bounty.php?bid=12433

Thanks for all the TL and proofing!

--

Sorry red, the link that i pm you has been change hq raw. But i don't put the sfw yet. Just check back the page here and realised the existence of sfx script.

Please qc that, i will continue editing sfx.

EHCOVE [Studio Empty (Nishi)] Ai no Solea (Detective Conan) - editing

Ops, I messed up and posted it already. Oh well, we will just update the gallery in few days with HQ edits.

--

editing bounty for the Vivi Desert Princess One Piece story now live https://e-hentai.org/bounty.php?bid=12434

--

I've completed the editing of all pages of Daisuki na Hito (KanColle). It proceeded much quicker once I realized I didn't need to translate every single sfx. [www.mediafire.com] Here it is for QC.

I haven't done the credits page, but I should definitely have it done by tomorrow. One thing I was wondering, was amped's requested pic to be used for the credits page a joke, or an actual request? To me it seemed to be a joke, but of course you can never tell for sure on the internet.

QC
p n based on file numbers
p.4 snap SFX - I'd use a different font, something to make it resemble the Japanese ones more
p.8 - can we do something similar with SFXes at the bottom?
p.10 - I'd again try for something with the ones on the bottom left
p.12 - SFXes in the top left
p.20 - top left (spread)?
p.21 - the SFXes at the bottom look story-relevant, can we try to get them in, both the left and the right ones?




This post has been edited by Red_Piotrus: May 20 2015, 10:02