[X] My Assistant

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raw https://e-hentai.org/g/667267/7bcd6e0aab/

script by YQII [www.dropbox.com] https://www.dropbox.com/s/w3cvo48eddvv7o0/%...5D%5BArt%5D.txt

currently in editing by ChowMains

This forum thread will facilitate communication during the editing, hopefully (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[puu.sh] Page 3
[puu.sh] Page 4
[puu.sh] Page 5
[puu.sh] Page 6 Got a little confused on the order of text in this, so if it needs to be fixed, tell me

I'm also short on time right now due to rl, so it'll be slow for a little bit while I get on track

[puu.sh] Page 3
[puu.sh] Page 4
[puu.sh] Page 5
[puu.sh] Page 6 Got a little confused on the order of text in this, so if it needs to be fixed, tell me

I'm also short on time right now due to rl, so it'll be slow for a little bit while I get on track

I should have mentioned these are only the pages I've gotten around to typesetting, not including the ones I've cleaned

p6:
[puu.sh] http://puu.sh/6GFJn.jpg Should be "Aahn, Captain!"
and the other one is "A passionate french kiss!"
[puu.sh] http://puu.sh/6GFRl.jpg Should keep the japanese texts if you don't edit them. otherwise ドキ = Ba-dump!, はあ = Haah!, ん = Mn or Nn, Nh, Ngh.

For reference sake, here's my [yqii.fakku.net] collaboration guide ([yqii.fakku.net] "To editors" section).

First off, this doujin has the page number visible on every page, so I suggest renaming the files so they match. For example, you "Page 6" is actually page 5. When I mention a page, I refer to the on-page number.

As hihohahi already mentioned, you need to swap those two lines and put back some of the background text. Unless it's あ, は, ふ, it's most likely a SFX, which I haven't translated. On page 5, you only have two はあ = "Haa" moans at the top. As I've mentioned before, non-dialogue bubbles are for most parts nicely separated in this doujin: white bubbles = moans; black bubbles = SFXs.

Some of the other moans are also in the wrong bubble:
The two bubbles in panel 3 are both "Nn"
Top-left bubble in panel 4 is "Hah"
The top-right bubble of the cluster in panel 4/5 are "Fhu"
The final/bottom one is a kiss sfx, "Chupu"

There are also a few inconsistencies:
You probably shouldn't use that wobbly font for his bubble at the end of page 4, and you should use it for the "a passionate french kiss" bubble on the next page—alternatively, use the same font you used in the other black bubbles.

Finally, inconsistent punctuation. Me, I prefer to use a full stop at the end of a sentence, but you can leave them out if you want to; just keep it consistent. There are some other places where you've left out the ellipsis (...), namely the last bubble on page 4, and the first bubble on the next page.

I've already had the script proofread, so you need to copy-paste the lines in order to avoid new typos. If you find a typo or want to change anything, run it past me first.

Ok, thanks for the feedback, I'll fix the order, and re-add various background texts. I'll also fix that font on Page 4, I hadn't meant for that to be the wobbly one, just the normal one I've been using for the captain's speech bubbles. I'll be doing some more, so I'd like your feedback then, it's really helpful.

Ok, thanks for the feedback, I'll fix the order, and re-add various background texts. I'll also fix that font on Page 4, I hadn't meant for that to be the wobbly one, just the normal one I've been using for the captain's speech bubbles. I'll be doing some more, so I'd like your feedback then, it's really helpful.

Changed page 5, order should be correct now, re-added a few SFX characters, added the two 'hah' I had missed.
[puu.sh] http://puu.sh/6IbXQ
I probably still missed something really obvious, but tell me what you think.

[puu.sh] http://puu.sh/6Igi2.jpg There are still traces of redrawing here. You probably should try to do anything in bubbles only now.
You should get some other fonts for moans sfx, I'd suggest 'Light up the world', 'SF Grunge Sans', 'Complete in him' and 'augie'.


This post has been edited by hihohahi: Feb 3 2014, 08:45

Yeah, left redraw needs to be fixed. One thing you can do to cover up more vertical space is to also make your text vertical, like so:
H
A
A

Again, keep things consistent, so if you do this for the left moan, you should probably also do it for the right one.

Bottom third of the page is still missing the SFXs.

An update would be nice.

Twilight Sparkle1998
says he's taking over.

Hey guys, so I will be taking over this bounty if possible, if you need an example on my editing skills right now, I have a pic of one. I will send it to you if you need it. Of course, the only problem I have is SFX, so it may be a bit hard to do it. On the other hand, speech bubbles and SFX bubbles I am actually fine with it. Please tell me if it's okay for me to take over or if ChowMains is still on it cause I can't take over without any permission.

This post has been edited by Twilight Sparkle1998: Feb 17 2014, 11:24

This doujin has a lot of redraws in it. For example:
https://e-hentai.org/s/7cbeb17aeb/667267-25
All the white bubbles needs to be cleaned--and preferably as many of the background moans as possible (check the script).

You also have regular redraws, like on this page:
https://e-hentai.org/s/1705ad3a7d/667267-17

If you can handle that, it's fine with me, but it's ultimately up to Red since it's his bounty.

Well guess I can't help you with this, sorry, my editing skills are only limited to speech bubbles. Redraws not really, so sorry, but you probably need to find another editor.

Kk. I'm doing then.
Edit: gonna post process here.

TSing

done

This post has been edited by hihohahi: Feb 21 2014, 04:27

It's not easy, but we should have a quality release when we are done (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

done

I think you can post the link to archive here, so that others can review it too. Then if nobody has any further suggestions, we will mark it as complete and post it to the galleries.

Don't forget about the credit page, everyone's favorite (IMG:[invalid] style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)