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 [Red's 50th Individual Bounty] [St. Rio] AVIVA 4 (Chobits) -> [English], Reward: 30,000 Credits + 30 Hath |
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Feb 13 2014, 04:23
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Ryukoreiakuma
Newcomer
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Posts: 56
Joined: 20-April 12
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~ignore this~
This post has been edited by Ryukoreiakuma: Feb 18 2014, 20:42
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Feb 13 2014, 04:27
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Ryukoreiakuma
Newcomer
Group: Members
Posts: 56
Joined: 20-April 12
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~ignore this~
This post has been edited by Ryukoreiakuma: Feb 18 2014, 20:42
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Feb 13 2014, 04:38
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Ryukoreiakuma
Newcomer
Group: Members
Posts: 56
Joined: 20-April 12
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~ignore this~
This post has been edited by Ryukoreiakuma: Feb 18 2014, 20:41
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Feb 13 2014, 04:39
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Ryukoreiakuma
Newcomer
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Posts: 56
Joined: 20-April 12
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wow just noticed another post rape <.< idk what happened sorry about that. :/
This post has been edited by Ryukoreiakuma: Feb 18 2014, 20:41
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Feb 18 2014, 18:39
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Ryukoreiakuma
Newcomer
Group: Members
Posts: 56
Joined: 20-April 12
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*update*
Ok i've got all but 1 page finished. Just waiting on a question to be answered from ultimaflaral. I meant to have this done a while ago... but lazy editor is lazy <.<
This post has been edited by Ryukoreiakuma: Feb 18 2014, 18:41
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Feb 20 2014, 12:32
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Ryukoreiakuma
Newcomer
Group: Members
Posts: 56
Joined: 20-April 12
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Ok Finally finished >.< i have two versions. A 1200px height one and a 1600 px height one. Idk which looks better as i have been looking at it so much that it looks the same to me now... I'll be honest. I'm not happy with either of these, but i did the best i could with the skills i curently have. geez, ok sorry. rant over. [ www.mediafire.com] _AVIVA_4_(Chobits)_(1200).zip[ www.mediafire.com] _AVIVA_4_(Chobits)_(1600).zip |
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Feb 21 2014, 11:21
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Red of EHCOVE
Group: Gold Star Club
Posts: 9,493
Joined: 28-April 07
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Hmmm, I am not sure myself. Anyone has a preference which should be upload?
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Feb 22 2014, 21:41
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Wiskers
Lurker
Group: Lurkers
Posts: 1
Joined: 22-February 14
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I think personally after downloading and looking at both of them and my personal opinion would be the 1600 px height one because you can cleary see the translated text. But thats my opinion (IMG:[ invalid] style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) |
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Feb 25 2014, 09:55
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Red of EHCOVE
Group: Gold Star Club
Posts: 9,493
Joined: 28-April 07
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I asked in the vigi. After seeing what feedback we get, if any, I plan to upload the preferred version to the galleries by the end of this week.
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Feb 25 2014, 19:50
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ultimaflaral
Group: Gold Star Club
Posts: 737
Joined: 11-June 07
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Hello Red_Piotrus,
Here is the translation for Aviva 5. I don't really have any big comments for this one, other than that I would prefer NOT to be credited with this one in the galleries or elsewhere.
UF
Aviva 5, translation v1.0
by anonymous
IMPORTANT NOTE: when it comes to publishing this work to the galleries or elsewhere,
I absolutely DO NOT want to be credited, not in any shape or form.
"Alt:" = Alternative translation, based on your preferences
"Lit:" = More literal translation, if you want to keep a more authentic feeling (at the usual expense of good english)
Page 01 (cover)
[upper right] St. Rio
[right side between arrows] For Adults
[Title has "Aviva" under the Aveva logo]
Page 02 [author rant]
[Per agreement, rant is not translated. The rant is much like like the other Aviva rants, talking about the doujin he wrote,
whether he's gotten a "power up" as an artist, and thanking the reader for reading. I can't read enough of the stuff in his
bullet points to even want to guess.]
Page 03
[Top] Ero-Chii
2nd
Tanataka
Page 04
I've been worrying about things recently. Things like human relationships...and about Persocoms...
[sfx left of bubble: sigh...]
Sempai's still a virgin, aren't you? Giggle! [Lit: Kusu-kusu!]
Motosuwa-san, you're always quite busy with your Persocom.
Not doing anything to me when you could have done whatever you wanted, you shouldn't be so unreasonable.
Page 05
One day took Chii out to a certain place.
[black sfx = "gacha" for door opening [click?], white sfx = "Creaaak..."]
...I have come back again. I'm in your care... [lit: yoroshiku]
Welcome to our feast of frenzy, Motosuwa-san.
In this place it is fine to bare both your mind and body.
[white sfx = drip]
page 06
Ahaah! Minoru-sama...!
[white sfx = twitch!, left side sfx = shake! or tremble!]
So it was impossible for you again... You put up a good front for others, but you are using your persocom just like I am now.
This Yuzuki is my greatest Persocom...
[white sfx = bzzzzzzzzz..., black sfx = shudder shudder]
Do you see? This sweet face [lit: figure] as she withstands the vibe... Persocom's will say nothing even doing this much.
Kuaaah!
[sfx = grind!]
Page 7
[white sfx = Shudder!]
Nnnh!!
[sfx = collapse, smaller sfx are bzzzzz and shake shake]
Hiihiiii! I am cumming!
So you came on your own, Yuzuki. You'll have to be punished then. Strip off your clothes!
Yes...I understand. Yuzuki will do as Minoru-sama says.
Page 8
The marvel of persocoms...you understand it as well, don't you?
You've been using yours to handle your sexual desires, yes?
[sfx: slip]
N...No, not really...
[upper left bubble] Go ahead, Minoru-sama.
[white sfx = Poyoyon[heart] for Bounce]
What part of me do you want to use today? [Lit: where on me] Whether its my mouth or breasts or down there, they all belong to Minoru-sama.
[Note: "Down there" is "asoko", which is a reasonably common euphemism for vagina or pussy]
Page 9
Very well! Today I'll have you make me ejaculate with Yuzuki's paizuri [i.e. tit-fuck].
Yes, Minoru-sama. Please feel free to make my breasts all slippery.
[white sfx = slip!] [Lit: sticky!]
Nnnffu!
Haaku!
[black sfx = jyupo, some sort of sticky plop]
A persocom is always perfectly obedient. No matter what kind of humans we are, it makes absolutely no difference.
[tiny bubble looks like "Nnpo!", a plopping sound]
[black sfx on left = Jyuu, black sfx on right = jyuubu, both of these are kind of slick, slurpy type sounds]
[white sfx = rub]
Page 10
Haah! That's the best. Yuzuki's paizuri feels really good. I'm already cumming.
Aaah, I'm cumming! It's spraying over Yuzuki's breasts! Stroke it properly with your hand, Yuzuki!
[big white sfx = splurt, black sfx = rub]
[black sfx in next panel, over her head = squirt, on left = splurt, tiny ones in bottom left corner = rub rub]
[bottom right corner bubble] It keeps spraying out! What an erotic hand job. Great, that's great!
Haaah! You're squeezing it out! Yuzuki's hands sure are gentle.
Page 11
How is this? Does Yuzuki's fellatio feel good, Minoru-sama?
[weird bolded sfx = lick, tiny bubble on right of head = nnh!, tiny bubble left of head = juu!
Zuchuu
Chuu
[black sfx = lick......] [lit = sticky?]
Nnfuaah
[tiny bubble on right = Nnh, black sfx = throb[heart]]
Good, good Yuzuki. This is very nice fellatio. Drink it all up.
[black sfx are all variants of sucking sounds]
Page 12
Hey, Hideki! [Lit: Oi] So you came too?
Hey.
Shinbo! Why are you here?
Starting now you'll see the form of our love. [lit: I'll show you starting now, the form of our love]
? What the hell does that mean?
Okay, Sumomo, make me ejaculate the way you always do!
Sumomo will stroke you!
[black sfx = stiff or prod, large white sfx = tap tap]
Page 13
[heart]
Oooah! That's great, Sumomo!
[white sfx = slide]
[for the bubble in panel 2, cannot read top left kanji, best guess??] Come on! It's way better just to be a lolicon!
I couldn't take it any more. I had to let it all out.
[tiny characters left of bubble = Haah, big sfx = grip!, tiny black sfx = slurp slurp]
That damn woman, getting pregnant from being fucked!
Page 14
Haaah! Who needs Sensei! I don't need her! Even stronger, Sumomo!
[sfx = stroke, tiny sfx on right = spurt]
Kuuu! That's great, Sumomo! I'm cumming! I'm cumming now! I'm going to ejaculate!
Aaaah! Being pulled on there feels good!
[large black sfx = throb, white sfx = tingle?]
Page 15
[heart]
Sumomo! Put your finger up my urethra! Oooh! That's the best! I'm throbbing so hard!
[sfx = splurt, tiny sfx near her shoulder = poke]
Sumomo! If I just have Sumomo...!
[sfx = twitch]
If I just have a persocom, I don't need humans or some girlfriend!
Ai [just some meaningless sound she makes?]
Haah... Sumomo, that was really nice.
[smaller black sfx = sticky sound, big black sfx = drip!]
Page 16
H...Hey! Quit that, Chii!
[sfx = slip (or some sound for something quiet)]
So you can't bear it any longer either?
Even though I'm always using you like that...
[sfx = strip]
Take a look over there.
That's the way a severe lolicon looks. He's just letting himself go with his persocom.
Uuh! Hooh! Damn, this is the ultimate tightness!
I'm cumming! I'm going to cum!
[sfx = Bam Bam Bam, tiny bubble on right is Haah, tiny bubble on left is Nnh]
Page 17
So what do you think? Letting out the stresses of the world with your persocom...don't you think that is the perfect function for persocoms?
[white sfx = thrust, black sfx = pound, can't read the bubbles]
None of that matters! I'm cumming inside! Being a lolicon is the best! [lit: lolicon is the best]
Nooooo!
[upper sfx and lower left sfx = twitch, lower right sfx = Splurt]
No way... Chii is very important to me...
Chi
Uwaah! Chii, if you do that...!
Chii!
[sfx = throb]
Page 18
Hideki, you don't need to hold back. Let out your white stuff just like always.
It's getting really hard, Hideki. Does it feel good?
[white sfx = rub, black sfx = twitch]
Shit! I can't take it anymore! I'm ejaculating, Chii!
[sfx = slap, slap (or bang, bang, etc)
Uoooh! You're squeezing it out! Chii's handjob is the best!
[smaller 2 sfx are splurt, bottom left sfx = Throb]
Page 19
Chii
Hideki, this time please put your dick in Chii's tummy [alt: belly].
[sfx = spread]
C...Chii...
I'll do it quickly.
After this, there will be no going back...
[sfx = stretch!]
If I have a persocom, then other people...I don't need them... [Lit: then other people...then other people I don't need]
Page 20
The Shota-honey [shota is usually shorthand for a younger boy]
By Kitty
[BIG NOTE: this section of the doujin changes Minoru's tone and attitude HUGELY. Frankly, he is so submissive and effeminate
that it's sometimes difficult to know when he is speaking versus the women. The point I want to make is that the Japanese
is supposed to convey how young and innocent he is. As such, I have tried to preserve some of that in my translation.]
Page 21
At first, I only used my maids to feel a little better.
[top left bubbles] Minoru-sama,
Where do you want to feel it? The places that make you feel good
please program them into us.
[Note: the translation here is fairly literal. If unclear, the second sentence is essentially "Please program us with the points that make you feel good"]
Minoru-sama's penis has been growing larger every day, hasn't it.
Learning how to masturbate was mildly pleasant at the beginning.
[NOTE: Minoru on multiple occasions refers to all the sex he has with his persocoms as masturbation]
Minoru-sama...
However, the acts themselves gradually started to escalate...
Page 22
Minoru-sama's skin is still covering it. [Note: she is talking about foreskin, though she doesn't use the specific word]
Your dick is very cute.
Peel it back quickly. Please do it even harder.
[Note: it isn't perfectly clear who is speaking here. The level of politeness would seem to suggest this ISN'T Minoru]
[Note2: After translating further I think this is Minoru, who is speaking this way to make him seem more submissive, even effeminate.
I have NEVER before seen a male character refer to his dick as "Ochin-chin" without being sarcastic.]
[sfx: Sluuuurp]
I will peel it back a little with my mouth.
[sfx = hagu, which are sort of the Japanese equivalent of "Nngh"]
[bottom right bubble] Look! Minoru-sama's penis...
[top left bubble] The skin has been peeled back. [Note: continuation from bottom right bubble]
It's grown so large again.
[sfx = liiiick]
Page 23
[bottom right box] Curiously seeking further stimulation, I sought out sexual comforting.
[top left] Everything escalated to more and more abnormal means...
[white sfix = spread, black sfx = grip]
Minoru-sama's anus, how cute[heart]
[sfx = spread]
I will go even deeper into Minoru-sama's anus.
[small bubble = lick (as in, licking her lips)]
[sfx = thrust]
I will show you how. [lit: develop it]
Page 24
That's nice. The backside of my dick...that's nice...
[left bubble] Your tongue going feels nice deeper in my ass too. [lit: feels nice is not literally spoken, subtext of "too"]
I can put my tongue into the tip a bit...
[lower left bubble] Like this, Minoru-sama?
[bottom right sfx are "suck", top left sfx are "lick lick" and "slurp slurp"]
[last panel sfx are also slurp]
I will stick my tongue in even farther.
Page 25
Even a boy's nipples...
[sfx = suck!]
[sfx = pinch!]
...can still make him feel good.
Lewd little boy...
[Oval bubble] Giggle, giggle [lit: kusukusu]
[bottom right panel] Minoru-sama, bigger... [Lit: more..., as in "more big"]
Even bigger...!
[left of minoru's face] Giggle [lit: kusu]
[left of minoru's stomach] Even deeper
[upper left bubble] Giggle
Page 26
Minoru-sama, please hurry, inside my mouth...
My penis, it feels so good!
[bottom right square] Having sex with multiple maid persocom's had become normal for me.
I though I probably couldn't cum from normal sex with a flesh-and-blood human anymore.
There! There! That's it!
My semen, you're pulling my ejaculation out of my dick! [note: this is literal. I might just say "You're pulling the semen from my dick!"]
It's about time for you to cum, right Minoru-sama?
[sfx = prod]
Using your asshole...
[sfx = thrust!]
[bottom right sfx = rub rub rub]
[top left bubble] I'm cumming! You're making me cum!
My semen is ejaculating from my dick!
My dick is cumming!
[thin bubble] My asshole...
[thicker bubble] It feels so good!
[sfx are all splurt]
page 28
Even though you ejaculated yesterday, what an amazing amount.
[sfx = rub rub]
[sfx = tremble]
Squeeze me even harder!
Yes...after having this done every day, I am going to...
[right most sfx are splurt and splat, 3 left side sfx are rub or stroke]
[fsx = Suuuuuck]
Gulp, gulp,
gulp
I will suck it all into my mouth.
[sfx = suuuck] [Note: different sucking sound]
Page 29
Oh no! It feels so good!
I'm cumming!
I'm ejaculating!
Cumming!
Even though this is only masturbation with persocoms, it's happening!
[upper right sfx are all "tremble", thicker sfx at left and upper eft are "Splurt!", lower right sfx are "shake" or "thrust"]
Page 30
It's out, my semen came out!
That's nice. Having it sucked out feels so good!
[sfx around head are "shake," thicker sfx = suck]
Uuh!
I'm cumming, I'm cumming!
[sfx are slurp]
I'm cumming with my dick and my ass...! [lit: because of my dick and...]
[sfx = suuuuck, tiny sfx in next panel is slurp]
Page 31
[Every small bubble on this page] Minoru-sama,
[top left bubble] If you don't do this harder, I won't be able to take it!
More! Play around with me more!
Page 32
Even though you say harder, the amount was already incredible. If this stuff had ejaculated into a womb, then...
[sfx = tremble]
Pregnancy would be assured.
[sfx = throb]
Cumming so hard using your anus...
[sfx = gucho, a slick sticky sound]
You've really learned that well, huh.
[sfx = splat]
Geez, Minoru-sama! What a precocious boy![heart]
Page 33
[sfx = twitch, twitch]
Well then, Yuzuki, come to me.
This time you can make me cum from on top of me.
Page 34
Yes, Minoru-sama. Starting now...
this is the real thing.
[sfx = prod, prod]
With Yuzuki's pussy on your limpness...
[Note: This is another spot where it is not fully clear who is speaking. I assume, with some evidence, that this is
Yuzuki speaking, but cannot be completely positive]
[sfx = kuchun, a wet spreading sound]
If it were someone besides me,
you would not be able to cum at all.
[sfx = thrust]
Page 35
[Note: I'll be honest here, I'm not totally sure what order these panels are supposed to be read in. The idiot author has
overlapping bubbles going into both the upper left and middle right panels. The order I put below is what I assume is correct.]
With my specially-made pussy,
[panel 1, bottom right] Minoru-sama's penis is getting so big!
[panel below, upper left] Even with my size, more and more of me is being filled in! [Note: "size" was actually used as a loanword.]
[Panel 1, left edge] Minoru-sama's penis,
[upper left panel, upper left bubble] I'm going to bully it a bit.
[upper left panel, lower bubble] Yuzuki... Hurry...please...! [alt/lit: Hur...ry...!]
[bottom panel, upper left] No need to hurry, we have plenty of time. [lit: even if we hurry,]
[bottom panel, bottom right] Okay then, Yuzuki...
[bottom panel, bottom left] This kind of tightness feels good. You can go ahead and start lowering your hips.
Page 36
Minoru-sama's phimotic penis is ready to slide right in.
[right sfx = prod, left sfx = thrust!]
It's going so deeply into my pussy. [lit: sentence was passive voice, as in "My pussy is being so deeply entered]
[bottom most bubble] Does it feel good? Right now, Yuzuki is joined as one with Minoru-sama. [Lit: word used was "gattai," like from Gurrenn Lagann]
Minoru-sama, come inside even deeper!
Page 37
What is the right thing to do? What should I do to be better at sex?
Minoru-sama's penis is amazing.
[sfx = shake or sway]
[upper left freetext] With my flesh, I shall bring you enjoyment. [Note: can't read the furigana]
I'm so full!
Yuzuki, that's great!
Shake your waist even harder!
Page 38
[Sfx: Bounce!]
[small bubble, far right] Minoru-sama,
[bubble up and left] I am not too heavy on top of you, am I?
[sfx = bounce]
For me, I am so happy to be able to ride on top of Minoru-sama.
[sfx = Guchuu! and Bupo!, which are squelch and slap]
It's fine, Yuzuki. Shake your hips more wildly, more strongly!
Page 39
Minoru-sama! This feels so good...!
I had installed a program into Yuzuki...
Yuzuki's nipples...please suck on them.
[sfx = tremble]
Please feel free to suck more strongly.
Yuzuki...!
Page 40
It's about time to cum, isn't it Minoru-sama?
Go ahead and cum all at once...!
I'm going to ejaculaaate!
[upper left] Sperm from my dick...
inside of Yuzuki!
[sfx = plop! plop!]
[far left bubble] Your sperm, please let it out! [lit: ejaculate it]
[small sfx = grin!]
Please cum using Yuzuki's pussy!
Page 41
I'm ejaculating! Inside you! [note: arguably could be Yuzuki speaking here, as in "You're ejaculating! Inside me!" Japanese can be like that]
[free text over his penis] Ejaculating
[white sfx = Spluuuurt!]
[next white sfx = pound!]
[free text under her elbow] Your dick is cumming!
[free text on very far left] I'm cumming! You're making me cum!
Minoru-sama's phimotic dick inside me,
It's splurting like crazy!
[all those tiny bubbles are splurt and spurt and squirt, etc]
Page 42
[large sfx = Throb!, tiny sfx is spurt]
I'm cumming!
[black sfx = twitch]
My dick is cumming!
[top left freetext] Giggle[heart] Giggle[heart] [lit: kusu]
Minoru-sama, come even farther inside me!
[black sfx = thrust]
[all black sfx in bottom two panels = throb]
He came!
Minoru-sama, inside me!
[free text on minoru's chest] Splurt it out,
[free text under her chin] please fill me with it! [lit: full please!]
I will suck it out of you.
Page 43
My dick is cumming!
Splurt!
[Free text under minoru's ear] Ah!
[Free text on his shoulder] It's coming out! My sperm is coming out!
[free text left of his hand] Aaahn!
[large bubble, panel 3] I will suck up all your penis milk without leaving a drop.
It's all coming out! [Note: this is minoru]
Cum! [Yuzuki]
[sfx = thob, throb]
Until Minoru-sama's dick is empty,
Yuzuki's pussy will be here for you. [lit: will be partner to you. This phrasing is akward in English, but fairly common in Japanese]
Page 44
[thick sfx = thrust, thinner sfx = squish or squelch]
How amazing! So sticky!
[right sfx = Bupupu! (short popping sounds), left sfx = slurp]
Haah
Haah
Aah!
It's coming out...
Yuzuki's pussy, so sticky!
[upper sfx = splop, lower sfx = sliiiiiiide~~!]
You really filled up my pussy, huh?
[big sfx = slip!, upper sfx = plop, lower left sfx = splurt]
Minoru-sama,
Page 45
This isn't over just yet!
Everything was based on the program code running calculations for sex.
From now on I won't be able to stop these acts until the end.
[sfx = drip, tiny sfx on his head = shake, tiny sfx over his shoulders = haah]
The program will continue to escalate with these acts.
[sfx = drip!]
Yuzuki... I, Yuzuki's code...
Kuhu! [sniffle!]
[sfx = shudder]
Page 46
I had added an installed program for Yuzuki.
Minoru-sama, this time Yuzuki will... [NOTE: merges with first bubble of next page, slightly modified for better English]
Page 47
...insert this huge specially-made dildo into Minoru-sama. Minoru-sama's cute, tight ass will surely feel wonderful!
Just what is supposed to feel good? What should she do to efficiently increase the pleasure?
All these questions were determined by running her program...
Soon now I will develop Minoru-sama's anus.
Yuzuki...
It should be running... [note: the program]
Page 48
[colored banner at top] "A harem using the honored child's social status?"
[Note: This next section has been rearranged a little to make better sense in English]
What will or won't the ronin [i.e. between high-school and college] owner of the strange human-like Chobits persocom witness from his young acquaintance Kokubunji Minoru-kun's daily indecencies?
[Note: the black dot is partially obscuring part of Minoru's name. This is a really weird spot for censorship, if that's what this is.]
"Minoru-sama, it's time for milk."
"I'm not a kid!"
"Even if you say that..."
It's the epic appearance of St. Rio's 5th drawn work, hardcore and a bit shotacon. [shotacon = young boy love]
[bottom colored banner]"Cumming inside isn't a big deal with a Persocom partner, huh..."
[between arrow] For Adults
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Feb 25 2014, 21:30
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etothex
Group: Members
Posts: 4,557
Joined: 18-May 09
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QUOTE(Red_Piotrus @ Feb 24 2014, 23:55) 
I asked in the vigi. After seeing what feedback we get, if any, I plan to upload the preferred version to the galleries by the end of this week.
1200 is better quality, but 1600 looks better on fit-to-screen (1080p) This post has been edited by etothex: Feb 25 2014, 21:36 |
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Feb 26 2014, 05:06
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Red of EHCOVE
Group: Gold Star Club
Posts: 9,493
Joined: 28-April 07
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QUOTE(etothex @ Feb 25 2014, 14:30)
1200 is better quality, but 1600 looks better on fit-to-screen (1080p)
Maybe we should just upload both after all...? |
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Feb 26 2014, 05:43
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Super Shanko
Group: Members
Posts: 5,617
Joined: 29-June 08
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QUOTE(Red_Piotrus @ Feb 25 2014, 21:06)
Maybe we should just upload both after all...?
It wouldn't be allowed since it's the same script, unless of course you put one in a download link. |
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Feb 26 2014, 06:09
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etothex
Group: Members
Posts: 4,557
Joined: 18-May 09
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or include the alternate in a torrent.
BTW page 31 needs to be fixed. I see the original japanese text still, with the english on top of it.
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Feb 26 2014, 16:55
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Ryukoreiakuma
Newcomer
Group: Members
Posts: 56
Joined: 20-April 12
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Well crap. I knew i had to have missed some. I'm just gonna post the fixes here. No sense in reuping the zip for 1 file. 1200px  1600px  |
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Feb 27 2014, 07:57
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Red of EHCOVE
Group: Gold Star Club
Posts: 9,493
Joined: 28-April 07
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QUOTE(Super Shanko @ Feb 25 2014, 22:43)
It wouldn't be allowed since it's the same script, unless of course you put one in a download link.
I am pretty sure it would be fine, due to the "as released by translator" exception which I argued against a while back in the vigi, but as far as I know it stays and it prevents people from fixing any errors with translator uploads. Might as well abuse it for once :> In related news, Ryukoreiakuma - would you be interested in editing #5 after we are done with #4? |
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Feb 27 2014, 10:12
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dharumas
Group: Members
Posts: 234
Joined: 22-July 10
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QUOTE(Ryukoreiakuma @ Feb 20 2014, 04:32) Ok Finally finished >.< i have two versions. A 1200px height one and a 1600 px height one. Idk which looks better as i have been looking at it so much that it looks the same to me now... I'll be honest. I'm not happy with either of these, but i did the best i could with the skills i curently have. geez, ok sorry. rant over. [ www.mediafire.com] _AVIVA_4_(Chobits)_(1200).zip[ www.mediafire.com] _AVIVA_4_(Chobits)_(1600).zipI would go for 1600px version. They both have the same typesetting, redraws, etc. There are only small differences between them since they are both re-edits from the same 697px already edited version. 1200px version is a bit washed out (even the sfxs and dialogues) for my taste. Also probably something almost no one's going to notice but 1600px version pages 9,10 and 21 are a bit green-ish instead of black & white. |
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Feb 28 2014, 01:21
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Ryukoreiakuma
Newcomer
Group: Members
Posts: 56
Joined: 20-April 12
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QUOTE(dharumas @ Feb 27 2014, 02:12)
Also probably something almost no one's going to notice but 1600px version pages 9,10 and 21 are a bit green-ish instead of black & white.
ok i have no idea how that happened since i thought i greyscaled the image before i indexed it... <.< also i noticed that for some reason my monitor isn't showing me as much detail in linux as it does in windows. so i'm tryin to figure out what's goin on there... but anyway here's the fix for those.    QUOTE(Red_Piotrus @ Feb 26 2014, 23:57)
I am pretty sure it would be fine, due to the "as released by translator" exception which I argued against a while back in the vigi, but as far as I know it stays and it prevents people from fixing any errors with translator upload
In related news, Ryukoreiakuma - would you be interested in editing #5 after we are done with #4?
Aww I was afraid you'd ask that (IMG:[ invalid] style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif) but yea if it noone's started working on it by the time i finish the detective conan one i'm working on, then I will. Altho i'm kinda worried about the crediting thing after ultimaflaral adimately stating not to be credited lol. also since it completely up to you weather you upload one or both versions i'd probably stick with the 1600px after looking at it again. there basically the same image only with the 1600px being easier to read the text. This post has been edited by Ryukoreiakuma: Feb 28 2014, 01:40 |
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Feb 28 2014, 07:06
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Red of EHCOVE
Group: Gold Star Club
Posts: 9,493
Joined: 28-April 07
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I guess I can mention that an alt 1200 version is linked from the forums, may draw more lurkers to actually see something other than galleries lol (IMG:[ invalid] style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) |
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Mar 2 2014, 12:16
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Red of EHCOVE
Group: Gold Star Club
Posts: 9,493
Joined: 28-April 07
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Proofread script for 5 QUOTE(ultimaflaral @ Feb 25 2014, 12:50)
Hello Red_Piotrus,
Page 01 (cover)
[upper right] St. Rio
[right side between arrows] For Adults
[Title has "Aviva" under the Aveva logo]
Page 02 [author rant]
[Per agreement, rant is not translated. The rant is much like like the other Aviva rants, talking about the doujin he wrote,
whether he's gotten a "power up" as an artist, and thanking the reader for reading. I can't read enough of the stuff in his
bullet points to even want to guess.]
[ED note: please include the above note]
Page 03
[Top] Ero-Chii
2nd
Tanataka
Page 04
I've been worrying about things recently. Things like human relationships...and about Persocoms...
[sfx left of bubble: sigh...]
Sempai's still a virgin, aren't you? Giggle!
Motosuwa-san, you're always quite busy with your Persocom.
Not doing anything to me when you could have done whatever you wanted, you shouldn't be so unreasonable.
Page 05
One day I took Chii out to a certain place.
[black sfx = "gacha" for door opening [click?], white sfx = "Creaaak..."]
...I have come back again. I'm in your care...
Welcome to our feast of frenzy, Motosuwa-san.
In this place it is fine to bare both your mind and body.
[white sfx = drip]
page 06
Ahaah! Minoru-sama...!
[white sfx = twitch!, left side sfx = shake! or tremble!]
So it was impossible for you again... You put up a good front for others, but you are using your persocom just like I am now.
This Yuzuki is my greatest Persocom...
[white sfx = bzzzzzzzzz..., black sfx = shudder shudder]
Do you see? This sweet face [lit: figure] as she withstands the vibe... Persocom's will say nothing even doing this much.
Kuaaah!
[sfx = grind!]
Page 7
[white sfx = Shudder!]
Nnnh!!
[sfx = collapse, smaller sfx are bzzzzz and shake shake]
Hiihiiii! I am cumming!
So you came on your own, Yuzuki. You'll have to be punished then. Strip off your clothes!
Yes...I understand. Yuzuki will do as Minoru-sama says.
Page 8
The marvel of persocoms...you understand it as well, don't you?
You've been using yours to handle your sexual desires, yes?
[sfx: slip]
N...No, not really...
[upper left bubble] Go ahead, Minoru-sama.
[white sfx = Poyoyon[heart] for Bounce]
What part of me do you want to use today? Whether its my mouth or breasts or vagina, they all belong to Minoru-sama.
Page 9
Very well! Today I'll have you make me ejaculate with Yuzuki's paizuri.
Yes, Minoru-sama. Please feel free to make my breasts all slippery.
[white sfx = slip!] [Lit: sticky!]
Nnnffu!
Haaku!
[black sfx = jyupo, some sort of sticky plop]
A persocom is always perfectly obedient. No matter what kind of humans we are, it makes absolutely no difference.
[tiny bubble looks like "Nnpo!", a plopping sound]
[black sfx on left = Jyuu, black sfx on right = jyuubu, both of these are kind of slick, slurpy type sounds]
[white sfx = rub]
Page 10
Haah! That's the best. Yuzuki's paizuri feels really good. I'm already cumming.
Aaah, I'm cumming! It's spraying over Yuzuki's breasts! Stroke it properly with your hand, Yuzuki!
[big white sfx = splurt, black sfx = rub]
[black sfx in next panel, over her head = squirt, on left = splurt, tiny ones in bottom left corner = rub rub]
[bottom right corner bubble] It keeps spraying out! What an erotic hand job. Great, that's great!
Haaah! You're squeezing it out! Yuzuki's hands sure are gentle.
Page 11
How is this? Does Yuzuki's fellatio feel good, Minoru-sama?
[weird bolded sfx = lick, tiny bubble on right of head = nnh!, tiny bubble left of head = juu!
Zuchuu
Chuu
[black sfx = lick......] [lit = sticky?]
Nnfuaah
[tiny bubble on right = Nnh, black sfx = throb[heart]]
Good, good Yuzuki. This is a very nice fellatio. Drink it all up.
[black sfx are all variants of sucking sounds]
Page 12
Oi, Hideki! So you came too?
Hey.
Shinbo! Why are you here?
Starting now you'll see the form of our love.
? What the hell does that mean?
Okay, Sumomo, make me ejaculate the way you always do!
Sumomo will stroke you!
[black sfx = stiff or prod, large white sfx = tap tap]
Page 13
[heart]
Oooah! That's great, Sumomo!
[white sfx = slide]
Come on! It's way better just to be a lolicon!
I couldn't take it any more. I had to let it all out.
[tiny characters left of bubble = Haah, big sfx = grip!, tiny black sfx = slurp slurp]
That damn woman, getting pregnant from being fucked!
Page 14
Haaah! Who needs Sensei! I don't need her! Even stronger, Sumomo!
[sfx = stroke, tiny sfx on right = spurt]
Kuuu! That's great, Sumomo! I'm cumming! I'm cumming now! I'm going to ejaculate!
Aaaah! Being pulled on there feels good!
[large black sfx = throb, white sfx = tingle?]
Page 15
[heart]
Sumomo! Put your finger up my urethra! Oooh! That's the best! I'm throbbing so hard!
[sfx = splurt, tiny sfx near her shoulder = poke]
Sumomo! If I just have Sumomo...!
[sfx = twitch]
If I just have a persocom, I don't need humans or some girlfriend!
Ai [just some meaningless sound she makes?]
Haah... Sumomo, that was really nice.
[smaller black sfx = sticky sound, big black sfx = drip!]
Page 16
H...Hey! Quit that, Chii!
[sfx = slip (or some sound for something quiet)]
So you can't bear it any longer either?
Even though I'm always using you like that...
[sfx = strip]
Take a look over there.
That's the way a severe lolicon looks. He's just letting himself go with his persocom.
Uuh! Hooh! Damn, this is the ultimate tightness!
I'm cumming! I'm going to cum!
[sfx = Bam Bam Bam, tiny bubble on right is Haah, tiny bubble on left is Nnh]
Page 17
So what do you think? Letting out the stresses of the world with your persocom...don't you think that is the perfect function for persocoms?
[white sfx = thrust, black sfx = pound, can't read the bubbles]
None of that matters! I'm cumming inside! Being a lolicon is the best!
Nooooo!
[upper sfx and lower left sfx = twitch, lower right sfx = Splurt]
No way... Chii is very important to me...
Chi
Uwaah! Chii, if you do that...!
Chii!
[sfx = throb]
Page 18
Hideki, you don't need to hold back. Let out your white stuff just like always.
It's getting really hard, Hideki. Does it feel good?
[white sfx = rub, black sfx = twitch]
Shit! I can't take it anymore! I'm ejaculating, Chii!
[sfx = slap, slap (or bang, bang, etc)
Uoooh! You're squeezing it out! Chii's handjob is the best!
[smaller 2 sfx are splurt, bottom left sfx = Throb]
Page 19
Chii
Hideki, this time please put your dick in Chii's belly.
[sfx = spread]
C...Chii...
I'll do it quickly.
After this, there will be no going back...
[sfx = stretch!]
If I have a persocom, then other people...I don't need them...
Page 20
The Shota-honey [shota is usually shorthand for a younger boy]
By Kitty
Page 21
At first, I only used my maids to feel a little better.
[top left bubbles] Minoru-sama,
Where do you want to feel it? Please program us with the places that make you feel good.
Minoru-sama's penis has been growing larger every day, hasn't it.
Learning how to masturbate (with persocoms) was mildly pleasant at the beginning.
Minoru-sama...
However, the acts themselves gradually started to escalate...
Page 22
Minoru-sama's skin is still covering it.
Your dick is very cute.
Peel it back quickly. Please do it even harder.
[sfx: Sluuuurp]
I will peel it back a little with my mouth.
[sfx = hagu, which are sort of the Japanese equivalent of "Nngh"]
[bottom right bubble] Look! Minoru-sama's penis...
[top left bubble] The skin has been peeled back. [Note: continuation from bottom right bubble]
It's grown so large again.
[sfx = liiiick]
Page 23
[bottom right box] Curiously seeking further stimulation, I sought out sexual comforting.
[top left] Everything escalated to more and more abnormal means...
[white sfix = spread, black sfx = grip]
Minoru-sama's anus, how cute[heart]
[sfx = spread]
I will go even deeper into Minoru-sama's anus.
[small bubble = lick (as in, licking her lips)]
[sfx = thrust]
I will show you how. [lit: develop it]
Page 24
That's nice. The backside of my dick...that's nice...
[left bubble] Your tongue feels nice deeper in my ass too.
I can put my tongue into the tip a bit...
[lower left bubble] Like this, Minoru-sama?
[bottom right sfx are "suck", top left sfx are "lick lick" and "slurp slurp"]
[last panel sfx are also slurp]
I will stick my tongue in even farther.
Page 25
Even a boy's nipples...
[sfx = suck!]
[sfx = pinch!]
...can still make him feel good.
Lewd little boy...
[Oval bubble] Giggle, giggle
[bottom right panel] Minoru-sama, bigger... [Lit: more..., as in "more big"]
Even bigger...!
[left of minoru's face] Giggle
[left of minoru's stomach] Even deeper
[upper left bubble] Giggle
Page 26
Minoru-sama, please hurry, inside my mouth...
My penis, it feels so good!
[bottom right square] Having sex with multiple maid persocom's had become normal for me.
I though I probably couldn't cum from normal sex with a flesh-and-blood human anymore.
There! There! That's it!
My semen, you're pulling my semen out of my dick!
It's about time for you to cum, right Minoru-sama?
[sfx = prod]
Using your asshole...
[sfx = thrust!]
[bottom right sfx = rub rub rub]
[top left bubble] I'm cumming! You're making me cum!
My semen is ejaculating from my dick!
My dick is cumming!
[thin bubble] My asshole...
[thicker bubble] It feels so good!
[sfx are all splurt]
page 28
Even though you ejaculated yesterday, what an amazing amount.
[sfx = rub rub]
[sfx = tremble]
Squeeze me even harder!
Yes...after having this done every day, I am going to...
[right most sfx are splurt and splat, 3 left side sfx are rub or stroke]
[fsx = Suuuuuck]
Gulp, gulp,
gulp
I will suck it all into my mouth.
[sfx = suuuck] [Note: different sucking sound]
Page 29
Oh no! It feels so good!
I'm cumming!
I'm ejaculating!
Cumming!
Even though this is only masturbation with persocoms, it's happening!
[upper right sfx are all "tremble", thicker sfx at left and upper eft are "Splurt!", lower right sfx are "shake" or "thrust"]
Page 30
It's out, my semen came out!
That's nice. Having it sucked out feels so good!
[sfx around head are "shake," thicker sfx = suck]
Uuh!
I'm cumming, I'm cumming!
[sfx are slurp]
I'm cumming because of my dick and my ass...!
[sfx = suuuuck, tiny sfx in next panel is slurp]
Page 31
[Every small bubble on this page] Minoru-sama,
[top left bubble] If you don't do this harder, I won't be able to take it!
More! Play around with me more!
Page 32
Even though you say harder, the amount was already incredible. If this stuff had ejaculated into a womb, then...
[sfx = tremble]
Pregnancy would be assured.
[sfx = throb]
Cumming so hard using your anus...
[sfx = gucho, a slick sticky sound]
You've really learned that well, huh.
[sfx = splat]
Geez, Minoru-sama! What a precocious boy![heart]
Page 33
[sfx = twitch, twitch]
Well then, Yuzuki, come to me.
This time you can make me cum with being on top of me.
Page 34
Yes, Minoru-sama. Starting now...
this is the real thing.
[sfx = prod, prod]
With Yuzuki's pussy on your limp part...
[sfx = kuchun, a wet spreading sound]
If it were someone besides me,
you would not be able to cum at all.
[sfx = thrust]
Page 35
[Note: I'll be honest here, I'm not totally sure what order these panels are supposed to be read in. The idiot author has
overlapping bubbles going into both the upper left and middle right panels. The order I put below is what I assume is correct.]
With my specially-made pussy,
[panel 1, bottom right] Minoru-sama's penis is getting so big!
[panel below, upper left] Even with my size, more and more of me is being filled in! [Note: "size" was actually used as a loanword.]
[Panel 1, left edge] Minoru-sama's penis,
[upper left panel, upper left bubble] I'm going to bully it a bit.
[upper left panel, lower bubble] Yuzuki... Hur...ry...please...!
[bottom panel, upper left] No need to hurry, we have plenty of time.
[bottom panel, bottom right] Okay then, Yuzuki...
[bottom panel, bottom left] This kind of tightness feels good. You can go ahead and start lowering your hips.
Page 36
Minoru-sama's phimotic penis is ready to slide right in.
[right sfx = prod, left sfx = thrust!]
It's going so deeply into my pussy. [lit: sentence was passive voice, as in "My pussy is being so deeply entered]
[bottom most bubble] Does it feel good? Right now, Yuzuki is joined as one with Minoru-sama. [Lit: word used was "gattai," like from Gurrenn Lagann]
Minoru-sama, come inside even deeper!
Page 37
What is the right thing to do? What should I do to be better at sex?
Minoru-sama's penis is amazing.
[sfx = shake or sway]
[upper left freetext] With my flesh, I shall bring you enjoyment. [Note: can't read the furigana]
I'm so full!
Yuzuki, that's great!
Shake your waist even harder!
Page 38
[Sfx: Bounce!]
[small bubble, far right] Minoru-sama,
[bubble up and left] I am not too heavy on top of you, am I?
[sfx = bounce]
For me, I am so happy to be able to ride on top of Minoru-sama.
[sfx = Guchuu! and Bupo!, which are squelch and slap]
It's fine, Yuzuki. Shake your hips more wildly, more strongly!
Page 39
Minoru-sama! This feels so good...!
I had installed a program into Yuzuki...
Yuzuki's nipples...please suck on them.
[sfx = tremble]
Please feel free to suck more strongly.
Yuzuki...!
Page 40
It's about time to cum, isn't it Minoru-sama?
Go ahead and cum all at once...!
I'm going to ejaculaaate!
[upper left] Sperm from my dick...
inside of Yuzuki!
[sfx = plop! plop!]
[far left bubble] Your sperm, please let it out! [lit: ejaculate it]
[small sfx = grin!]
Please cum using Yuzuki's pussy!
Page 41
I'm ejaculating! Inside you!
[free text over his penis] Ejaculating
[white sfx = Spluuuurt!]
[next white sfx = pound!]
[free text under her elbow] Your dick is cumming!
[free text on very far left] I'm cumming! You're making me cum!
Minoru-sama's phimotic dick inside me,
It's splurting like crazy!
[all those tiny bubbles are splurt and spurt and squirt, etc]
Page 42
[large sfx = Throb!, tiny sfx is spurt]
I'm cumming!
[black sfx = twitch]
My dick is cumming!
[top left freetext] Giggle[heart] Giggle[heart] [lit: kusu]
Minoru-sama, come even farther inside me!
[black sfx = thrust]
[all black sfx in bottom two panels = throb]
He came!
Minoru-sama, inside me!
[free text on minoru's chest] Splurt it out,
[free text under her chin] please fill me full of it!
I will suck it out of you.
Page 43
My dick is cumming!
Splurt!
[Free text under minoru's ear] Ah!
[Free text on his shoulder] It's coming out! My sperm is coming out!
[free text left of his hand] Aaahn!
[large bubble, panel 3] I will suck up all your penis milk without leaving a drop.
It's all coming out! [Note: this is minoru]
Cum! [Yuzuki]
[sfx = thob, throb]
Until Minoru-sama's dick is empty,
Yuzuki's pussy will be here for you.
Page 44
[thick sfx = thrust, thinner sfx = squish or squelch]
How amazing! So sticky!
[right sfx = Bupupu! (short popping sounds), left sfx = slurp]
Haah
Haah
Aah!
It's coming out...
Yuzuki's pussy, so sticky!
[upper sfx = splop, lower sfx = sliiiiiiide~~!]
You really filled up my pussy, huh?
[big sfx = slip!, upper sfx = plop, lower left sfx = splurt]
Minoru-sama,
Page 45
This isn't over just yet!
Everything was based on the program code running calculations for sex.
From now on I won't be able to stop these acts until the end.
[sfx = drip, tiny sfx on his head = shake, tiny sfx over his shoulders = haah]
The program will continue to escalate with these acts.
[sfx = drip!]
Yuzuki... I, Yuzuki's code...
Kuhu! [sniffle!]
[sfx = shudder]
Page 46
I had added a new program for Yuzuki.
Minoru-sama, this time Yuzuki will... [NOTE: merges with first bubble of next page, slightly modified for better English]
Page 47
...insert this huge specially-made dildo into Minoru-sama. Minoru-sama's cute, tight ass will surely feel wonderful!
Just what is supposed to feel good? What should she do to efficiently increase the pleasure?
All these questions were determined by running her program...
Soon now I will develop Minoru-sama's anus.
Yuzuki...
It should be running... [note: the program]
Page 48
[colored banner at top] "A harem using the honored child's social status?"
[Note: This next section has been rearranged a little to make better sense in English]
What will or won't the not-yet-in-college owner of the strange human-like Chobits persocom witness from his young acquaintance Kokubunji Minoru-kun's daily indecencies?
[Note: the black dot is partially obscuring part of Minoru's name. This is a really weird spot for censorship, if that's what this is.]
"Minoru-sama, it's time for milk."
"I'm not a kid!"
"Even if you say that..."
It's the epic appearance of St. Rio's 5th drawn work, hardcore and a bit shotacon.
[bottom colored banner]"Cumming inside isn't a big deal with a Persocom partner, huh..."
[between arrow] For Adults
This post has been edited by Red_Piotrus: Mar 4 2014, 05:27 |
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