Q: I want to delete my account.
A: You can't. Just stop using it.

Q: What about just disable my account?
A: You can't. Just stop using it.

Q: Can I get my account removed if I contact *insert staffer name* directly?
A: You can't. Just stop using it.

Q: But my display name has some personal information!
A: Then read this.

Q: But because *insert any other reason you can think of*, you should delete my account!
A: You can't. Just stop using it.

Q: But I *really* want to delete my account. Could you do that pretty please?
A: You can't. Sorry, but please, for the love of god, just stop using it.