[X] My Assistant

https://e-hentai.org/g/731139/df929b1479/

Now these chapters were finished a while back. I helped work on the script (fixing up the English translation). From our conversations, our typesetter (who uploaded the release) is the only one with experience in scanlating.

Various things have bugged me, like the lower, smaller image quality of chapter 1 compared to chapter 2, the remaining artifacts/specks in chapter 1 and the difference in tone/level/what you call it between the release and the raw. May be trivial to most but it gets to me now, after the excitement from seeing "your stuff" go public has calmed down.

The Chinese version has different tones or levels and looks smoother. So I wonder what's the closest to the original.

Maybe we can redo chapter 1 if/when bigger, better scans come out? That depends if the team who scanned chapter 2 will do older magazines. Or even tank scans?

But for now, while we're at a lull (waiting for the raw of the next chapter), I can try my hand at retouching the existing release.

So... any feedback is appreciated about improving it further. Including about the translation and typesetting if needed.

Raw - https://e-hentai.org/g/722512/0f37b331eb/ Compilation, same images as in magazine galleries. Chapter 2 is much bigger and so far, the biggest-resolution scan available of any part of this story because different teams scanned the issues.

Chinese - https://e-hentai.org/g/717200/085d424a1a/ Better size/quality, consistent resolution, but some artwork at the edges is lost in some pages.

Chapter 3 is out in Chinese - https://e-hentai.org/g/734938/2c292f94e7/ but we're waiting for the raw.

This post has been edited by quazkov: Sep 15 2014, 14:11

Here's some feedback. I only did the first pages because many sentences were translated wrong, and it became painful to correct it every time.

Editing: well, I'm not an editor myself, so I can't say much about it, but there are still a few things I can point out.

01:
- "Ooh!" and "Wow!" look way too plain in my opinion, and, more importantly, they leave most of the bubbles blank. Here's an example of a botch job I did in five minutes for the right-hand bubble, and I think it looks much better (don't mind the font too much though, I just don't like all-caps fonts):
(IMG:[puu.sh] http://puu.sh/bA3NY/5ca177fbc7.jpg)

02_03:
- "This is the nudist beach!!!!" is placed way too high on the page. It's supposed to be said by the teacher and therefore be placed much lower (like, where the original text was placed).

04:
- since she's not done writing "nudist" in Japanese, it would be nice to have something similar in English, advice illustrated by another botch job by yours truly:
(IMG:[puu.sh] http://puu.sh/bA6a4/40a6ff7528.png)

Translation: some nitpicking. However, the translation is wrong most of the time on complex sentences.

02_03:
- "This is the nudist beach!!!!" ->"We've arrived at the nudist beach!!!!" (I know that's not exactly what she says, but it's inferred from the context in Japanese.)

04:
- "And now, announcing the destination for our class trip to Europe!" is a bit far away from the original sentence. It's actually not a class trip but a school trip (all of the classes in the same grade go on that trip). School trips in Japan are usually three days long (at least according to manga), with one day when each class goes to a different destination. That day is called クラス別行動日 (literally "day when the action is based on the class", and it's usually translated as something like "independent action" in English, if memory serves me well). What she actually says is that she's decided the destination for that "independent action".
- why is 自由時間 ("free time") not translated? (Plus it's mentioned again later in the story, so I think it should definitely be translated.)
- "No way!" -> "No way! I don't want to!" (or even simply "I don't want to!" if the bubble is too small, because "No way!" is too ambiguous compared to the Japanese sentence).
- "Eh?! I don't believe it!" -> "No! That's not possible!!" / "You can't do that!!" / "We can't go there!!"

05:
- "Of course!" / "Naturally, ya?" -> In Japanese, she says "Of course" twice, first in English, then in Japanese. I suggest using a different font for when she uses English words.
- "Y-Yeah," -> he's speaking formally, so it should be "Y-Yes,". Also, since he's collecting his thoughts to answer a question, I suggest changing it to "L-Let's see..." or something like that.
- "The Hussites appeared in Bohemia [...]" -> "It appeared in the fifteenth century as a movement that separated from the Hussite Church in Bohemia."
- "separating from the church" -> I think there's a better word than "separate", but I can't find it.
- "Their ideas [...]" -> "They moved to Germany, where the movement developed as a culture of nudity under the influence of German philosophers." (that's how I read it, but I'm not 100% sure that's what it means)
- "Nowadays, [...]" -> "Nowadays, nudism designates the fact of freeing oneself from the restraints of clothes and do outdoor activities and such."
- "Excellent!" -> she says it in English.
- "My papa, [...]" -> (horrible grammar incoming, I just want to give you the real meaning of the sentence) "In my papa, the chairman,'s and my hometown, there are more than 30 public and private nudist establishments."
- "There, people are naked almost everyday." -> "When I still lived in there, I went to these establishments all the time."
- "I hope this experience [...]" -> "This is an experience that completely changes your sense of values."
- she says "change" and "experience" in English.
- "I want [...]" -> "I want the whole class to experience this first-hand too." (repeating "experience" is not nice, but whatever)

Here's some feedback. I only did the first pages because many sentences were translated wrong, and it became painful to correct it every time.

Yikes. Oh man, if the first few pages already have this much that could be improved, you can't leave it hanging... But thanks.

About the English words, we did do another version where they're kept, with another font for them.

https://e-hentai.org/g/732223/90937cfb4c/

The "ya" is supposed to represent "ne" at the end of her sentences. I guess it could be done better too.

"<Of course! Of course,> ne?"
"Of course! Naturally, ya?"
"Of course! Of course, ya?" - with a TL note "Spoken in English"
---
Sorry for the delay but some comments on your comments

- "Ooh!" and "Wow!" look way too plain in my opinion, and, more importantly, they leave most of the bubbles blank.

Will have to learn text along path... thinking of changing the Whoa! to Uwaa! to be more Japanese. But will have to be consistent with that.

- "This is the nudist beach!!!!" is placed way too high on the page. It's supposed to be said by the teacher and therefore be placed much lower (like, where the original text was placed).

Not contesting this, but a Western comic would make it clearer she's saying the line... through a line pointing to her mouth or something.

- since she's not done writing "nudist" in Japanese, it would be nice to have something similar in English

Not the typesetter so I'm gonna have to resort to cut./copy/paste...

- why is 自由時間 ("free time") not translated? (Plus it's mentioned again later in the story, so I think it should definitely be translated.)

Typesetter will have to do it, don't know the font used for her handwriting.

- "And now, announcing the destination for our class trip to Europe!" is a bit far away from the original sentence. It's actually not a class trip but a school trip (all of the classes in the same grade go on that trip).

We already put "Class Trip" in the logo. Job for the typesetter if he agrees. But it's a school trip the class is taking...

School trips in Japan are usually three days long (at least according to manga), with one day when each class goes to a different destination. That day is called クラス別行動日 (literally "day when the action is based on the class", and it's usually translated as something like "independent action" in English, if memory serves me well). What she actually says is that she's decided the destination for that "independent action".

Independent action is a standard term in English translation? Sounds rather military... but then the girls are in sailor uniforms...

So it's implied the nude beach day is the last day?

"Announcing the destination for the final day of our class/school trip."
"Announcing the final destination for our class/school trip."
"Announcing the final venue for our class/school trip."

- "The Hussites appeared in Bohemia [...]" -> "It appeared in the fifteenth century as a movement that separated from the Hussite Church in Bohemia."

The Hussites separated from the Catholic Church themselves, but it seems this is historically right. Separated - broke away? Schismed isn't a word.

"In my papa, the chairman,'s and my hometown, there are more than 30 public and private nudist establishments."

It could be something like:

"In the town where I grew up with my papa - the chairman [of the board] of this school - there are more than thirty public and private nudist establishments."

This post has been edited by quazkov: Sep 16 2014, 19:23

Anyone? Any more things that need to be pointed out?

Raws for all chapters are available, chapter 3 was scanned by two groups but the later scan isn't on here yet. But now all the people I worked with haven't shown up for some time before that. Others have stepped in but I want to keep a place open for them. Anyway this hasn't been dropped.

I was told a character's name was translated wrong since chapter 1, the blonde loli-looking girl. Sanaka or Sayaka?

I was told a character's name was translated wrong since chapter 1, the blonde loli-looking girl. Sanaka or Sayaka?

Her name is 末森紗那, a Google search shows that 紗那 is usually read as either Sana or Shana